So There's This Guy, Right
by WootYaoi
Summary: HighSchool fic. Sasuke's POV. Sasuke has a lovehate relationship with a very confused Naruto, Itachi is a wee bit nutty, Sakura's not annoying, Gaara is a perve, Kakashi and Iruka like playing matchmaker and Tenten kicks-a*se. SasuNaru. YAOI.
1. Sasuke's Got A Crush

Yo everyone, and welcome to my second fic!

Just a warning to start things off, I'm Australian and know bugger-all about Japanese food and whatnot, due to paying almost no attention in Japanese lessons unless it's learning the actual language. So sorry in advance for being so downright western with this story except for the occasional word here and there.

But despite that, it was fun to write and I hope you enjoy it! Tell me if there's stuff I need to pick up on – I'm trying different writing styles and was going for kind of humour/angtyish (well, typical teen) in this one. I don't think I did it quite right… but anyway, read on and don't forget to review! –big grin and wiggly eyebrows-

Oh yes, and I don't do lemons – sorry to all you lemon lovers out there! I'm just not comfortable writing anything other than make-out scenes (and I honestly don't think I'd be any good at writing more anyway), and if there is a little more it'll be very sketchy and skim over it briefly – please don't yell at me! I've told you how I roll so you can't say I didn't warn you. So… if you want a lemon go find some other story to amuse yourself with… after you've read and reviewed this one of course… -cough-

I'll try and update once a week. I have up to Chapter 8 written, but I don't want to post it too fast and catch up with myself.

Trust me, I don't own anything to do with Naruto (apart from a t-shirt and the books). If I did... weeeeell... You know those books of Kakashi's? Yeah, they'd have a shit load more to do with it. -mad cackle-

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1. SASUKE'S GOT A CRUSH

"Tell me."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Oh, come –"

"No."

"I'll give –"

"Nope."

"How about –"

"Not happening."

"But –"

"Don't care."

"Why not?"

"Because."

She huffed, and I smirked at her defeat. Hah, take that.

"Fine. I'll just have to get you when you least expect it."

"But now that you've said that, I'll be expecting it, so you won't be able to get me."

She cocked an eyebrow and turned on her heel as she said, "Shut up, smart-arse."

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Who's got a crush? Saskue's got a crush!

Yeah, yeah, cringe, cringe – whatever. It's true, I don't deny it, I just wish that damned pink stalker of mine hadn't found out. It must be that sixth sense girls have where they can read people's minds, I swear. I didn't tell her, she just guessed. Well it's not like I go professing my love to him every day, or at all for that matter. I just watch him from a distance, bag the crap out of him occasionally, and delight in how he tries and fails to change the way I am. I'm not happy enough, apparently. Well, happy can go get stuffed – I'm cold and that's the way I like it.

So this guy, right, he's all loud and obnoxious and blonde. He loves ramen way too much, he has this obsession with needing attention, and a fixation with orange. No, not the fruit, the colour. Wearing it. All the time. Blinding, much? But he's gorgeous, really. I don't mean just gorgeous, I mean melt-into-the-floor-due-to-sheer-and-utter-awe type gorgeous. Seriously.

Oh you might coo and squee at how adorable this all is, but it's not – trust me. I hate him purely, but at the same time want to tackle him on the spot and snog him senseless. And the feeling's mutual, as far as I know – well, apart from the whole tackle-snog thing. (1)

I hate him, he hates me. Oh yay, the world's a happy place, let's all drink martinis on a boat in fancy hats.

Not so.

It's because we hate each other, that we spend so much time together. We're sort of friends, in a mutual hate kind of way. It's pretty much always joking around, but sometimes we get really into it and he starts shouting _really _loudly while I'm being my usual cool, calm and collected self. We have the same group of friends, we just stay as far away from each other as possible when we go on group outings and whatnot. But teachers seem to think it's funny to watch us almost blow-up the Chem. Lab, or purposely throw the ball at each other's heads in P.E., or even try to stab each other with the drum sticks in music. Any class that pairs are needed, and we happen to be in together, it's always us.

"Uchiha, Uzumaki, you'll be working together today."

And I do a little dance inside. Or not.

"Try not to kill each other."

Or not.

So anyway, how did that little verbal war with my pink-haired stalker happen? (Okay, so we're friends now, but she really did used to stalk me). Well you see, it's like this. We were in Food Tech, right, the _one_ class with partner possibilities where I'm not with the damned blonde kid, and then the stalker-girl starts yabbering on about him. About how she never realised how cute he looked when he tried to suck-up to the teachers, or how drop-dead gorgeous he was with the sunlight in his hair, or how blue his damn eyes were, or how strong he looked in his sports uniform.

She might not have noticed, but I sure as hell had. I noticed quite a while ago, actually. But I'd never tell her that, no way. We may be friends now, but there was still a limit to how much I told her. Telling her I was gay was one thing (although I'm not exactly one to deny what's true), telling her I had my eye on the guy she_finally_ began returning the feelings for was another.

Oh yes, in case you hadn't picked up on it – I'm a guy. Oh don't look at me like that, I'm perfectly comfortable with my sexuality, thank you very much, and I don't care if you aren't. And yes, the object of my affections is after my stalker – always has been, always will be. That sucks.

But anyway, so when she'd finally finished her rant about how adorable the Uzumaki kid was (like I didn't know already), she noticed I hadn't said a single word the entire time.

"You're quiet today - even for you."

I'd grunted in response, and crushed the garlic beneath the knife before peeling it. Man, that stuff stinks.

She'd let it go then, knowing when I didn't want to talk, and we worked in silence. But then when we were doing the dishes and she was putting the last few things away in the cupboard, she started up again. I must've gotten this far away look in my eye or something as she blabbed on about him (my imagination can get a little bit carried away at times), because she suddenly stopped, picked up her books and raised an eyebrow.

And thus, the war began. Me flat-out refusing to tell her what I was thinking about, and her trying to pry it out of me. Oh she knew, the sly she-devil, she definitely knew. She just wanted me to admit it – like hell I would. So she sauntered off, pink hair swishing, schoolbooks held loosely at her side, and though I couldn't see it, a know-it-all smirk was plastered across her face. I could just tell.

She could shove her suspicions up her arse, for all I cared. There was no way she was getting this out of me, but no doubt she was going to try. Its times like these that I wish I had some sort of fortune-telling ability. But of course, I don't. Which downright sucks.

I glared at my books for a moment before grabbing them and slouching out of the cooking room, turn right, left, up the stairs, left again and then to my locker. And there he was, in all his blonde and orange glory. Dammit.

I waited patiently for him to move out of my way, but he seemed to be out to get me today. He chatted with Gaara for a while, talking animatedly about something or other that no one really cared about but was too polite to interrupt, until I got fed up.

"Dobe, I'd love to hear you rant all day, but I really gotta get to my locker."

He looked up at me and grinned, I did the usual wait for my stomach to stop flipping, and forced myself to keep my blank mask in place. Damn those eyes.

"Oh, is this _your_ locker? My bad, go for your life."

I rolled my eyes and pushed past, saying a quick 'hey' to Gaara before kneeling down. I hate bottom lockers. They're knee-killers. I stuck my tongue out in concentration as I worked at the lock – it's a habit I have, and don't tell me it's cute.

I was just about to do the last number when I felt someone nudge me in the back with their foot, and I went past it. Crap. I looked up and met pineapple boy, otherwise known as Nara Shikamaru, genius of year ten, and probably the whole school. Also a total lazy-arse who I wouldn't put it past to sleep through a nuclear explosion.

I huffed and flicked my black hair out of my eyes, turning back to my lock.

"What do you want, Shikamaru?"

"Don't be so moody, I just wanted to see if you were up to crashing at mine tonight."

I thought for a moment, my lock clicking open. "Sure, why not?" I finally said. "Just let me call my brother and tell him, then I'll let you know."

He nodded and slouched down towards his own locker, ignoring Naruto when he said hi. Hah. I threw my stuff in my bag and stood up, wincing as I only just missed colliding with Naruto's elbow.

"Oi, dobe, watch where you're putting those elbows."

He shrugged and kept talking. I looked at Gaara with a smirk that said 'that's what you get for being nice to him' and went right, down the stairs, right again, then straight out the door, pulling out my mobile and calling my brother.

"Yo, what's up?"

"Hey, can I stay at Shikamaru's tonight?"

"The Nara kid?"

"Yeah, that one."

"You'll have to make your own way home tomorrow."

"Yeah that's cool. Can I swing by and pick my stuff up now?"

"Yep. See ya then."

"Bye." I hung up. My brother might be just a little bit insane, but he's cool. I like living with him, even though our parents are terrified of him killing me in my sleep. You see, Itachi thinks that our parents are dead. No I'm not kidding, he really does. He's totally and completely convinced that he killed them and he did such a good job the police never found out. It's strange to hear him talk about it when I know for a fact that they're living in New Zealand. It's also a little bit creepy.

I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and I turned around to see Gaara. Man that kid's hair is bright. I smirked my all-famous smirk and said, "So, he finally shut up, did he?"

"No, I had to walk away from him."

I gave a slight chuckle and nodded as Shikamaru came out of the building.

"Bro said it was fine, I just gotta go get my stuff."

He nodded and we started our trek home, Gaara mumbling about all the numerous ways to kill our English teacher, Shikamaru telling him off for being so troublesome, and me laughing on the inside. Because Uchiha Sasuke doesn't actually _laugh_. That would require showing emotion.

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So.. Like? No like? I have to know if this is funny as of yet, and if it isn't then tell me what I should do. I really want to learn how to write humour, and so far all my attempts have been flushed down the toilet. Not literally, but you get it.

REVIEW! XD


	2. Fish For Dinner

Hey all, stupid me realised a little too late that I forgot to put the footnote at the end of the last chapter, so here it is:

The line: "And the feeling's mutual, as far as I know – well, apart from the whole tackle-snog thing."

The footnote: "Heh, when I reread this I kept seeing taggle-snock."

… Probably not worth it, but it made me laugh XP. Thanks to all you reviewers! –love for you-

And now onto chapter two! Sorry it's short, I'll make it up to you... around chapter 6 or 7? Can't remember which one's the longest. Anyway...

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

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2. FISH FOR DINNER

People can understand why Gaara, Neji, Shino and I are friends, because we're all so quiet and distant, cold and analytical. We don't talk unless we have to, and we always have this you-come-near-me-you-die sort of attitude. Especially Gaara – he was terrifying when he started talking about blood. We all sort of fit together like the big brooding bunch of moody teenagers we are.

Everyone understands why I hate Naruto – to put it simply, we're too opposite. He's loud while I'm pretty much silent, he's happy while I come across as being depressed (I'm not, I'm just frustrated), and he's always so bright while I'm so dark. A friendship between us just wouldn't work.

Sakura… I don't know why I'm friends with her. I honestly don't. We just kind of understand each other, and we look out for one another. She shits me up the wall most of the time, but when she's away I find myself oddly missing her presence.

As for the rest of them (Ino, Choji, Kiba, Lee, Tenten, Hinata and Sai), I just sort of put up with them. Lee is almost unbearable with all his talk of youth, Choji never stops bloody talking about food, Ino used to stalk me as well but thank God she's with Choji now, Tenten likes weapons – I can handle that, Hinata is quiet and always embarrassed but a good person to talk to, and Sai is just a pervert. Enough said. But all their faults aside, we get along pretty well.

Which brings me to Shikamaru. He's a lazy shit when it all boils down to it, but if you overlook that he's a great friend. He listens and doesn't interrupt when you're ranting, he always has good advice, he doesn't get worked up or jealous, he has this dry sort of humour that I can relate to, and he can definitely keep a secret.

There's also the factor that he really helped me out a while ago when I went a little mad. It was somewhere around the time that Itachi kept going into gruesome details about how he'd 'killed our parents'. I started having nightmares, acting all weird – it really got to me. He got really violent at one point and beat me up something chronic, so I sort of just… left. Didn't really know where I was going, just away from Itachi. I considered New Zealand, but soon shook that off. Shikamaru was the one who got everyone together to come and look for me, and pulled it off, being the genius he is. So sure, we don't talk much, but we like each other's company. And when we do talk, it's always meaningful, it always has a point.

Which is how I got into my current situation of spilling my guts out entirely. I do believe I have been ranting for the last ten minutes, and he hasn't said a word the whole time.

I was frustrated – very frustrated. I _hate_ Uzumaki Naruto. He's so full of himself, always saying how great he is. He's so overwhelming with his orange clothes and blonde hair and insanely blue eyes. He's such a smart-arse, always coming back with something else to say, even though I totally own him every time. And I'm never bloody _happy_ enough, am I? I always look too depressed, or too up myself. I brush everyone off and have this stay-away-from-me-or-I'll-kill-you barrier up. Why does he have to know what to say to push my buttons in exactly the right way, to get a reaction out of me? When he's around, I can't just be my usual cold self; I have to start getting angry. I have to have my say. And I have to resist the urge to kiss him senseless – trust me; it's a difficult skill to master.

I stopped pacing and glanced at Shikamaru to make sure he was listening. He was staring at the roof, fingers laced behind his head as he lounged back on the couch. I swear, if that bastard –

"Are you done?"

Oh, so he was listening. "… For the moment, yes."

"Good, now listen up. You don't hate him – clearly. Yes, he is overwhelming in all his brightness, but you're the only one who's affected by it. He's a smart-arse by nature, and so are you. No, you're not happy enough – you dwell on things for too long. And that stay-away-from-me-or-I'll-kill-you barrier is definitely there, but intensified when he's around. He knows what to say to piss you off _just so_ because he pays attention, which is no different to what you do. He gets a reaction out of you because you like him, duh. And as for resisting the urges, I can only say this: thank Christ."

I blinked. "Wow. I probably should have recorded that."

He said nothing, just raised his eyebrows.

"You haven't said that much in one go since… No, you've never talked that much."

He rolled his eyes, still not looking at me, and sighed. "Whatever. I can't really help you with this, but before you do anything, you gotta know one thing."

I shifted my weight from foot to foot uneasily. "What…?"

"Is he gay?"

Ah, crap.

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The teacher glanced up from his desk, staring straight at me. He furrowed his brow for a moment, as if deciding on something, then smirked.

Wait for it…

"Uchiha, Uzumaki," There they are, those fateful words. "You'll be working together today."

And I do my little mental dance.

"Try not to kill each other."

And I resist the urges.

Naruto groaned loudly and started to protest, just like every other lesson, but Iruka-sensei shut him up with a swift tap to the back of the head. Hah.

"Go on, move places. You'll need to take notes on this together. Everyone find a partner and sit next to them."

There was a loud scraping sound as numerous chairs were pushed back and people grabbed their friends. I sat in my seat, waiting for Naruto to come to me – I sure as hell wasn't going to move. We glared at each other for a moment before Naruto growled and gave in. He swept his books off the table and stomped over to me, throwing his books on the table. Pissed, much?

"Okay, so today we'll be working on testing the Ph levels of substances by the colour of the flames depending on which substance is added to them. Now…"

Blah blah blah – I tuned out, as per usual. I have this strange skill where I can retain information without even paying attention. Damn handy, if you ask me. I glanced over at Naruto and saw that he was glaring at his page like it said something particularly offensive, and smirked when he stabbed at it with his pen.

"If you break that I'm not lending you another one," I whispered.

He grunted and shrugged his shoulders, whispering something to Sakura on his other side. I got ever-so-slightly peeved and leaned back in my chair, ignoring her hushed giggle. I stared up at the roof, and was vaguely reminded of Shikamaru as I laced my fingers behind my head.

"Uchiha, are you even listening?"

I snapped back to my senses, the front two legs of my chair hitting the ground with a dull thump. "Yes." Pfft, as if.

"What did I just say?"

"You asked me if I was listening."

The teacher glared daggers at me as the class snickered. "Don't be smart with me, Uchiha."

"Sorry, sensei. You were talking about the colours of the flames. Please, continue." Ah, I'm a smart-arse and I know it. I could tell he was debating whether or not to kick me out, but seeing as though he didn't really have any grounds to do so, decided against it. I smirked.

Finally he shut up and we could get to work. Of course, Naruto paid absolutely no attention whatsoever, opting to use it all on Sakura, so I explained everything to him. Even though we'd already done it the year before (for some reason the teachers insisted we do it again), he still didn't get it. God, he's frustrating.

"Look, never mind, all right. I'll do it then you can write everything up properly once we get the results."

He nodded absently, glancing over to Sakura's table, and I groaned inwardly as she flicked her hair and smiled at him. The cow knows how I feel and yet she openly flirts with him in front of me – what the hell kind of friend does that?

I shrugged it off and turned on the Bunsen burner, passing my hand through the yellow flames. Naruto was watching me with a curious look on his face, and I turned an icy glare on him.

"What?"

He nodded towards my hand, which was now flat on the table, and said, "What were you doing that for? Doesn't it hurt?"

I scoffed. "What – you've never put your hand in the flame before?"

He shook his head, then looked at the flame with a glint in his eye. I pushed the burner towards him and he held out his hand nervously. I kept my aloof mask on while on the inside I was cackling like a mad witch.

As he passed one of his fingers through the tip of the yellow flame, I turned the switch about halfway down the burner so the holes were closed, and he yelped. I feigned shock as the now scorching blue flame danced at the opening of the burner, and he shouted at me, his hand darting away.

"You did that on purpose, teme!"

No shit. "What do you mean?"

"The – the flame!" He spluttered.

I raised my eyebrows. "I have no idea what you're on about."

His expression went stony cold and I recoiled a little on the inside. It was fun to rile him up, but sometimes his reactions were unpredictable. And that was when he got scary.

"You're a sneaky shit, you know that?"

Yes, I believe I do. "Sorry, can't help it. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with fire?"

Oops. That was low, even for me. Naruto had no parents and everyone knew it. He lived with his Aunt and Uncle in some posh house up town, but they weren't exactly a close-knit family. His Aunt was the principal, too, which meant he couldn't hide when he screwed up in class. Although he did get away with a lot in science, due to the little advantage of Iruka-sensei practically being his father until Tsunade and Jiraiya took him in.

I was expecting him to be angry or hurt, but I certainly wasn't ready when his fist came careering into my jaw, sending jolts of pain throughout my skull. I gripped the side of the bench for support and leaned forward to absorb the shock, thankful that I moved the burner before, otherwise I would currently be lacking some eyes. I blocked his next punch and heard Sakura cry out my name as my fist connected with his stomach, winding him.

Luckily, the teacher – dare I say it? – saved me from the other boy's wrath by standing in between us.

"Now, Uchiha, what's all this about?"

That's right, pin it on me. I looked blank as I turned my gaze to him. "Nothing," I said, voice full of innocence.

The teacher rolled his eyes as he looked at Naruto, still struggling for air. "Sure it is. Get out of my class and go to Tsunade-sama's office."

Naruto started to protest but I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out of the class, trying to ignore his gasps for more air. I may hate him, but he was still gorgeous, and I didn't like to hurt him unless it was entirely necessary.

We sat outside his Aunt's office in total silence. It was bloody killing me, not hearing him talk. He's never silent unless something's _really_ bothering him, and if I was the only one around, that meant I was the one who was gonna get the full force of complaints and questions. Crap. It didn't matter that we only spoke to insult each other, if he had to get something off his chest then he definitely would, no matter who it was he was talking to.

As he opened his mouth to speak, I gave him my coldest glare yet, and he shrank back. I continued glaring until he looked away, just _daring_ him to so much as breathe. When he finally turned his ridiculously blue eyes away, I looked back at the dark wooden door in front, already knowing what was behind it. An irate Tsunade was going to yell at us for being immature brats, give us both after-school detentions, and tell Naruto what was for dinner. It always happened.

I dimly became aware that Naruto was talking. I hid my surprise that he could recover from my death glare so quickly, and was even more surprised at what he asked me.

"Hey… teme?"

"What?" I snapped.

"Does – does Sakura like me?"

I kept my mask in place as my insides squirmed. Yes, she likes you, you oblivious twit, but I like you more and have for longer you stupid –insert a violent string of curse words that I probably shouldn't repeat-.

Instead, I said, "It's not my business to say."

He pouted and I fought the urge to smack him as he whined, "But you're the closest to her out of the guys! C'mon, you would know, wouldn't you?"

I was saved from an answer as the door opened, and a fuming Tsunade came and grabbed Naruto by the hair, dagging him into the office with me following behind, my usual smirk in place.

"What the _hell_ have you done this time, brat?"

Ah, I love it when she pins it all on Naruto.

"Hey, it wasn't me! That teme over there was the one who started it – he burnt my hand!"

Tsunade turned her cold eyes on me and I looked back at her, entirely blank.

"Is this true?"

I shrugged. "He put his hand in the flame." I didn't like lying, so half-truths were always the way to go.

Naruto cried out that I _was_ lying and proceeded to tell her of how I punched him in the gut, conveniently forgetting to tell her that he punched me in the jaw first, even though I had the faint bruise already to show it. She noted this and held up a hand for Naruto to shut up, handed out the detentions and pushed us out the door as Naruto grumbled about having fish for dinner.

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So there you have it! 

Short, blah, and nothing much actually happens... You know, I just realised how insanely pointless this chapter is. Ooh wait, no it's not. Tee hee, never mind my little reading munchkins, you'll find out in a few days.

So, once again, hit that lil cute purple button down there and tell me whatcha's all think. The more reviews I have, the faster I'll update. Promise. )

NEXT CHAPTER: Sakura gets sneaky... dun dun duuun!

WY


	3. Sneaky Sneaky

Hey again,

To all you out there who put me on alert, thanks muchly, but a review would be even more loved –coughHINTcough-. I just want to know what your thoughts are on this. I'm very insecure about my writing, I know, but reviews really make my day.

That aside, big thanks to those who did review – hope you enjoy this chapter! Sorry it's so slow, but things will pick up soon. Promise.

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3. SNEAKY SNEAKY

"So, you gonna tell me yet?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because."

"What if I guess it?"

"Nope."

"Ugh!"

"Yep."

She rolled her eyes and shoved another spoonful of rice in her mouth, looking incredibly peeved. Ah well, she can suffer. I pushed my food around my plate idly, not in the mood for eating, and Neji glanced over. He raised an eyebrow and I shook my head. No, it wasn't that I didn't like it, I just didn't feel like eating in general. He nodded and went back to his own food, clearly not interested in anything Lee had to say.

Sakura turned her attention back to me, saying, "Well, I have to talk to you after school about something important –"

"I can't," I interrupted. She looked put out, so I explained. "I've got a detention because of Uzumaki being a dipshit in science yesterday."

She shrugged. "For how long?"

"Half an hour."

"Well I'll wait for you. I have an art assignment I need to work on anyway, so I might as well hang around."

Dammit, she had a way around everything, that girl.

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Aagh, detentions are torture. I've sat through enough of these damn things that I should know how to entertain myself by now, but all I could do was stare at the wall and try not to let my imagination get the better of me as Naruto stuck his tongue out while he drew.

Suddenly a note appeared next to my hand and I stole a quick glance at Ibiki-sensei (God, that man was scary) to make sure he wasn't looking before I opened it. I could barely understand the scrawl, but recognised it to be Naruto's.

_Have you found out about Sakura yet?_

I ignored the note, and the one after that… and the three following that, until I gave up and glared at him until he stopped sending them. Man, this kid's persistent.

_Finally_ the clock ticked over to half-past and we all scrabbled to get out of the classroom. Sakura was waiting for me when I got out, and I quickly grabbed her wrist and dragged her out before Naruto saw her. We'd be standing there for hours once he got talking.

"Whoa, Sasuke, what's up?"

I glanced at her sharply. "You were the one who wanted to talk. And I figured if you didn't see Uzumaki and chat to him for six hours then you'd be able to talk to me sooner." Do I always have to explain my actions?

She looked at me sceptically before stopping and jerking her wrist out of my grasp. "Right, well I want to go to the oval so I know we won't be bothered."

I shrugged. "Fine."

We made our way down there in silence, Sakura dragging her feet and biting her thumbnail while I gritted my teeth and tried not to yank her hand out of her mouth. We finally got down to the oval and she sat down heavily on a nearby bench, still biting her nails. I waited for her to speak – she was the one who dragged me here.

"Um… I was just thinking…"

I stayed silent, waiting for her to continue. She better not be asking me what I was thinking about in cooking that day, or I will finally give in to the urge to swear violently at her and... Damn, hurting girls was a 'no-no', as Shikamaru would say.

"About Naruto… do you know for certain that he likes me?"

Oh for Christ's sake! When the hell did I become everyone's counsellor?

"Yes."

I had issues telling people Sakura's secrets, but certainly not Naruto's. That didn't bother me in the slightest. She blushed and looked at the ground.

"Oh… well I'm thinking of asking him out, considering _he_ definitely won't do it. I think I said no one too many times and he completely gave up asking."

I said nothing again, silently telling her to hurry her arse up and get to the point.

"And – and I just thought that… I dunno, I wanted to know what you thought."

"In what way?"

"Well, does it bother you?"

I think my mask may have slipped for a millisecond, because she had a triumphant look on her face when I said, albeit a little too quickly, "Why would it?"

Oh crap. She so knew, the little cow. She knew and she was doing this to get me to confess. Argh! This is why I hate girls! They couldn't just be straightforward and ask or beat it out of us. Noooo, they had to take the sneaky way and get under our skin, to frustrate us into telling them. But, I'm proud to say, I didn't let her get to me. I stayed as impassive as ever as she said, "I just thought it might, you know, cause you… well, yeah."

"I what?" My voice was like shards of ice. It's times like these that I'm grateful for an insane brother with multiple personalities that I can easily imitate.

"Jeez, calm down. I just thought you liked him, that's all."

"Well I don't."

I stood up to leave just as I heard a familiar voice shout out, "Sakura, wait up!"

I glared at an orange blur shooting down the steps and racing towards us. I turned to Sakura who said, "Gimme five minutes and I'll meet you up there." We walked part of the way home together when she had work after school, so I walked to the top of the steps, completely ignoring Naruto as I passed him, and waited.

Now, I have extremely good eyesight, despite what others might think. What with my pupils being so huge and all, so huge my eyes look almost entirely black, people get the general impression that I can't see anything properly. But I can.

I could see Sakura clearly from here as she blushed, asking Naruto out. I felt my insides squirm as he nodded and she launched herself at him in a tight hug. But then I saw something odd in her expression. Sure, she looked happy, but she looked more… thoughtful. I knew that face.

Bloody girls!

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Wednesday morning, and I'd been turning the question over and over in my mind since Friday night. Is Naruto gay? Seriously, it was possibly the most important question anyone had ever asked me, and I had no idea what the answer was. I didn't like it. At all.

I tried not to let it bother me as I sat in English, but I found my eyes drawn to him and his insane grin that he'd been wearing all day. I'd been analysing his movements without realising it, trying to see whether he looked at girls and guys differently, but I couldn't figure anything out. He just wore the same stupid grin he always wore, and it didn't matter who he was talking to. I heard Kiba ask him why he was so happy, and he'd just laughed and said one word.

"Sakura."

Ugh. That was another thing that was bothering me. That look Sakura had when she hugged Naruto… She was planning something, and I seriously had to know what it was. She hadn't said anything on the way home but I knew she didn't like Naruto as much as she said did. Yet she still asked him out. Gah, what the hell? Why did girls have to be so shifty all the time? I vaguely remembered the time when she was my stalker, and all her various attempts at confusing me into admitting that I liked her. Which I didn't. Honestly. I only ever stared because I thought her hair was… interesting. Oh shut up.

She was a manipulative little stalker and now she had found a different target. She wanted to get something out of Naruto, and asking him out had something to do with her plan. Dammit! She was so sneaky!

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I glanced up as I heard pounding footsteps, interrupting my conversation with Gaara. Kiba was running towards us with a stupid yet adorable grin on his face. He looked remarkably like a dog, that kid.

"Yo guys, I'm having a gathering thing for my birthday on Saturday. So far everyone's coming, you guys wanna come along?"

I shrugged and glanced at Gaara, who did the same. Everyone, eh? Well that would include Sakura, which would mean Naruto was going, and there would probably be alcohol involved…

"Sure, why not?"

Kiba's face lit up and I smiled on the inside while my cool mask stayed in place. I couldn't help it that I thought he was cute.

"Great! Just drop by whenever you want after seven. Oh, and you can bring alcohol if you want, but not too much, you know. My parents won't be there but I don't want to have to handle the clean-up. And no presents or I'll throw them back in your face."

I nodded and let my mask slip, giving a small smile before I jammed it back into place. "No worries."

"You coming too, Gaara?"

"… Sure."

"Great! Catch ya later," and he ran to catch up with Shino, who was doing his usual don't-bother-me-or-you'll-regret-it pose.

Gaara turned to face me, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, but he didn't let it show completely. "So, Naruto, eh?" His voice was quiet and conspiratorial.

I'll admit it, I looked shocked. _That_ I wasn't expecting.

"Hah, I knew it."

I forced myself to stay cool, and said, "What do you mean?"

"I could practically _hear_ your thought process just then. And you think I haven't noticed you in English?"

Oh, -swearswearswear-!

* * *

Hey all you readers out there, you know what song I love? That one by the Sugababes that goes something like…

"You'd better PUSH THE BUTTON and let me know, before I get the wrong idea and go"

Yeah, that one. –hint hint- Actually, I hate it, but I thought I'd send you a not-so-subliminal message to review ) eee hehe.

So… do it!

NEXT CHAPTER: -manic grin- Can't tell you, but I know you'll love it!


	4. In My Pants

**Warning:** This is a _very_ long AN … XP But I have some questions...

Now, this has absolutely nothing to do with this fic, but would someone out there be so kind as to tell me what the hell freshman, sophomore (or something), senior and all that are? I keep seeing it in all these fics and the whole time I'm like "so… is that like, year 10 or something?" How does it relate to High School (as in years 7 –12)? I really don't get it. Oh, and the middle school and junior high and ngaaah! That's what happens when you live in Australia and don't have crazy names for different year levels. Eep!

Oh, and what's a 'Beta'? –feels silly-

Another thing that is totally irrelevant to the fic, but if there are any Fruits Basket fans reading this, could you _please_ tell me how many episodes there are in total? Because I can only ever find up to 26 at every single site I've been to. Or are they still making them or something? It's so confusing! They can't possibly fit 22 books into 26 episodes!! -frantic cry- I have to know the low down with them before I go mad. I absolutely _love_ that series.

But anyway, uh... glad you like it so far! I'm slowly getting less insecure… sloooowly. Are there any particular things you thought were funny? Would you mind telling me? Oh, I am such an insecure nagger, and don't I know it XD

Don't think I mentioned this before, but I don't usually continue unless I get 5 reviews for the one chapter, and even then I'll wait a little while just to see if I can scab some more out of you heh. Soooo… read, review, enjoy, or not, and get your mind out of the gutter with this title. Oh yes, I know what you're thinking… -cackle-

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

* * *

4. IN MY PANTS

What to wear, what to wear… I'm as bad as Sakura when it comes to making clothing decisions. I fought the urge to call her and help me choose, remembering what happened last time.

"_Black or blue, which one?"_

"_Blue makes your hair look nicer."_

"_But black's more slimming."_

"…_You're gay, aren't you?"_

"_Yep."_

"_Hah!"_

So now whenever I had a clothing crisis, she would give me this knowing smirk and tell me to stop being so gay. Bah. But I did take comfort in the fact that had I not said the thing about black being slimming, she never would have guessed. I liked _guys_, not girly guys. Although she did say that the way I flat-out refused even the most popular girls in school (namely Ino) that most guys would kill to be with was a bit of a giveaway.

I settled on a dark blue t-shirt with black jeans and my usual chucks, did my hair the same as always, shouted out to Itachi that I was leaving, got back some response about sharks, grabbed my bag and bolted out the door, already late. I met Shikamaru at the end of the street, and was suddenly unable to keep from grinning. He should feel privileged – _no one_ sees me smile genuinely. Ever. As a general rule.

"What are you grinning about?"

"Oh, you know."

He rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets, falling into step with me. "You're so –"

"Troublesome? I know."

He rolled his eyes again and we walked on in a companionable silence, only breaking it when Gaara joined us, followed by Temari and Kankuro.

I was just about to ask why they were coming when Gaara said, "Temari…"

"Yes?"

"You finished school several years ago."

"Yes."

"You're coming to a year ten party."

"Yes."

"And bringing Kankuro."

"Uh-huh."

"Why?"

A shrug.

"Ri-ight…"

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Kiba bounded up to us as soon we walked onto the deck and engulfed us in a bone-crushing hug. I fought the urge to push him away, and returned it awkwardly.

"Happy birthday," I managed to choke out.

"Thanks for coming, guys! Everyone's here already, make yourselves at home." Then he noticed Gaara's siblings standing behind us, and his smile faltered. He'd never liked Kankuro, and Temari was just downright scary, even to me. "Kankuro, Temari." He nodded curtly and hurried over to Shino, who I could see was desperately trying to hide a smirk behind that overly-large collar of his.

I put my hands in my pockets, unsure of what to do, and spotted Naruto. All right, maybe orange wasn't such a bad thing if it was the colour of an incredibly tight t-shirt worn with faded jeans that hung low on his hips. That, I could handle. As long as I didn't have to squint due to him practically glowing, I was okay with it. Definitely okay with it… mhmm… damn imagination.

I felt my mask slipping as a blush crawled its way onto my cheeks, so I tore my eyes away and walked over to Neji, who was once again tuning out to Lee. Thankfully, just as I came over, Lee spotted Tenten and shouted something about youth before practically leaping over to her. Strange kid. Big eyebrows.

Neji turned his milky eyes on me and looked sincerely grateful. "God, I was seriously going to sock him one if he didn't shut up in the next three seconds."

I forced chuckle and ran a hand through my hair just as Gaara came up to us, a foreboding smirk on his face. My chuckle petered out nervously as he stared. God his eyes were unnerving.

"What…?"

He shrugged. "Oh, nothing, nothing."

I glanced from Neji to Gaara, and saw they were both looking in the same direction – straight at Naruto.

What the hell?!

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"Spin the bottle time!"

I cringed at Ino's squealy voice and refused to move from my place on the deck. I'm perfectly comfortable where I am, thank you very much, and I will certainly not be moving for a stupid game that we played in year seven. Even if said stupid game could involve Naruto…

I was inside in a flash, surprising even myself, and was just sitting down on the couch when Ino spun the empty beer bottle, taking it upon herself to go first. It spun a few rounds before landing on Sakura, who instantly tensed.

Ino grinned at her. "Truth or dare?"

Sakura considered for a moment, before replying, "Dare."

"I dare you to kiss Naruto."

She rolled her eyes. No way. I wasn't sure if I could watch this, and – oh, she did _not_ just smirk at me. She knew exactly what I was thinking and she didn't give a damn. Hn, some friend. She turned her head to face a frightfully red Naruto, and gave him a swift kiss on the lips. It didn't last more than a second, though, and I was grateful.

Ino scoffed. "That was pathetic!"

Sakura shrugged, reddening. "Well it was stupid to dare me that anyway, we are going out, after all. And you didn't specify what you meant by kiss. It's my turn now, anyway."

She reached forwards and spun the bottle in the centre, finally landing to a halt in front of Shino. He was as impassive as ever, and just arched an eyebrow at Sakura as he said "Dare" from behind his collar, eyes hidden behind dark glasses.

Sakura smirked, and I knew it couldn't be good. That mind of hers got a little out of hand sometimes, and it was unfortunate Shino had to be on the receiving end.

"All right then, kiss Kiba."

Kiba visibly blanched. "What? There is no _way_ I'm kissing – mph!"

Shino had shut him up rather forcefully, it seemed. And Kiba was enjoying it, if those tiny little moans and sudden roaming hands were anything to go by. _Definitely _enjoying it. Well, I can't say I wasn't expecting it. Those two had been so close for so long that it was bound to happen some time, if it hadn't already been happening right under our noses.

Sakura was smirking and Ino was staring open-mouthed in shock, as were Naruto, Choji, Lee and Tenten. Hinata looked mildly amused, Shikamaru looked bored, Neji was inspecting his fingernails, Sai was staring, being the pervert he is, and Gaara was doing his usual I-really-couldn't-care-less expression while Temari was wolf-whistling from the side-lines along with Kankuro.

When they _finally_ broke apart, Sakura said, "Well, now that that's out in the open, it's your turn, Shino."

A couple of rounds and a few more bottles later, everyone was getting slightly hysterical with their dares and a little more probing with their truths. And the worst rule of all – you couldn't back down, or the consequences… no, on second thoughts, lets not go into that.

So far, and these are only the first things we came up with when we were just a _little_ drunk,Gaara had to say "in my pants" at the end of every sentence (man Sai was immature), Hinata had to make everything she said sound dirty, Sai had to _not_ say anything dirty, Ino and Choji had a full-blown make-out session right there on the floor, as did Naruto and Sakura (I respectfully turned away for that one), Lee had to make absolutely no reference to youth at all for the next week, Neji had to crack on to Anko-sensei in the next art lesson, and Tenten, Shino, Shikamaru and I had to do many highly embarrassing things that involved no clothes, a rooftop, a bugle and a flashlight, yet surprisingly was entirely non-sex-related. But still, details are something I do not want to go into.

Then as the night wore on I had to kiss Shikamaru (several times), Sakura and Ino kissed, then Ino and Hinata, then Hinata and Tenten, Choji and Shikamaru, Naruto and Sai, Lee and Neji, me and Shino, Kiba and Naruto, Sai and Shino, Hinata and Sakura – the list went on forever, really, and the only one who got out of it was Gaara. Oh wait, and they were only the same sex pairings...

But then my turn came round again I was feeling a bit adventurous and said dare, sure that I wouldn't be as unfortunate as Kiba who'd had to eat an entire large jar of vegemite then skull a litre of milk and not throw up. Somehow, he did it. His stomach must be lined with steel or something, I swear. (1) Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that when he looked like he was going to treat us to the contents of his stomach, Shino said "If you vomit, I'm not kissing you for the rest of the week." (2)

Gaara was the one who spun it on me, and my insides twisted a little as he did that evil quirk of the non-existent eyebrow again.

"All right then… Oh, what do you think we should dare him, Neji in my pants?"

"Hey, that's –"

"Shut up, Sasuke."

I glared at Sakura as she snuggled deeper into Naruto's shoulder, and waited for Gaara and Neji to finish whatever silent eye-conversation they were having and decide on my dare. Not that I didn't already know what it would be.

"Okay – oh, crap… kissNarutoinmypants."

I rolled my eyes and tried to hide a smile as everyone giggled.

"Whoa, hold up! That is _not_ happening!"

I feigned indifference as Naruto predictably began protesting, coming up with all a manner of excuses which Gaara immediately shut down.

"But we're both guys!"

"Unless I'm very much mistaken, you have kissed several guys tonight."

"But – but… Would _you_ do it?"

"Kiss you…? In my pants."

Everyone howled with laughter as Gaara's face remained expressionless except for the slight tinge of pink along his cheekbones.

"Ew… but no, not me, just any guy."

"Yes in my pants."

"Well go on then."

"It's not my turn to be dared in my pants."

Naruto grabbed the bottle, pointed it straight at Gaara and said, "Kiss Neji."

Gaara complied, and I laughed a little on the inside. Poor Neji wasn't expecting that one. Ah well. Temari and Kankuro could be heard choking on their drinks from their seats behind the couch, and everyone just rolled their eyes. Honestly, if _they_ didn't know about Gaara's escapades with the opposite sex and otherwise, there was absolutely no hope for the world. Naruto though, oblivious as ever, opened and closed his mouth several times before declaring, "I'm dating Sakura, I can't kiss anyone else."

Gaara finally broke away from Neji (what's that, a little disappointed there, Hyuuga?) and said in a smart-arse voice, "I didn't hear you objecting when she had to kiss Ino in my pants." There was more drunken laughter, and I allowed myself a little smile. Gaara paused for a moment before adding, "And when you kissed Sai or Kiba or Neji or -"

Naruto sighed and grunted and cut him off. "But that's _different_!"

"How so?"

"In my pants!" Lee shouted.

A beet-red Naruto 'hmph'ed and stood up, storming his way over to me on the couch. I swore in my mind as my heart threatened to leap out of my throat, and ceased to think as his lips touched mine. It was only fleeting, lasting a couple of seconds, if that, but it happened. I felt myself get a bit light-headed when he pulled away, and only just remembered to shove my mask back in place. A blissful Sasuke was _not_ something anyone needed to see.

"Huh, that's funny." Choji's voice cut through the cheers. "I thought Sasuke was supposed to kiss Naruto, not the other way around."

Then the realisation dawned, and I sat back in against the cushions.

Uzumaki Naruto had kissed me.

I stole a glance at Sakura, who had that thoughtful look on her face again, and watched as she had a silent conversation with Gaara, who in turn had another one with Neji.

What was with those three?

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"French kiss him, but not in my pants."

All right, they were _definitely_ up to something.

"Oh, why don't we go all the way and say make-out session?" Neji.

Naruto spluttered. I said nothing, as per usual.

"Maybe our sexy little blonde can't handle that." Hinata. When had she gotten involved?

"Oh, I think he can, in my pants." No prizes as to who that was.

"How about it?" Neji again.

Sakura had that look again as Naruto shook his head, face a brilliant shade of scarlet. "Do I really have to?"

"All right, what say you to a … _compromise_?" Hinata batted her eyelashes and licked her lips as she said 'compromise'. Hinata being sexy was just weird, I decided.

Naruto grinned and winked at her, earning himself a light slap on the shoulder from Sakura. "Anything, Hinata."

His expression changed to confusion as Neji handed him a full bottle and said, "Skull this in ten seconds and wait five minutes, _then_ make-out with him."

Wow, they were really set upon the idea of us making out. Any objections? (3) Didn't think so.

"What, so I still have to do it?"

"Oh, definitely in my pants."

"No thanks."

Everyone chuckled as Naruto unscrewed the cap, and counted down as he skulled. It figured that if he could eat a full bowl of ramen in the blink of an eye, then he could obviously skull a full bottle of alcohol in under ten seconds. The kid's a machine.

He burped loudly amid cheers from the group, then settled down to wait for it to go to his head. It didn't take him long, because before I knew it intensely blue eyes surrounded by a mop of blonde hair obscured my vision, and my heart was seriously trying to escape while my stomach went for gold in gymnastics. Wow.

I dimly registered a couple of wolf-whistles before his lips were on mine again. I gasped in surprise at his sudden attack, and he took full advantage of it, his tongue sweeping its way around my mouth, exploring every inch of it.

I couldn't help it – I moaned. Man, Sakura was going to talk about this for _weeks_. I weighed up the consequences in my mind for a total of two seconds before Naruto broke away and pushed one knee to either side of my hips, effectively straddling me, and launched at attack on my neck. I do believe that is when my brain entirely shut down and gave way to intense pleasure, his hands reaching beneath my shirt and tracing the muscles on my stomach. I did the same, unable to keep my hands to myself any longer, and was rewarded with a deep groan from the blonde on top of me.

I smirked and dragged his head up to mine again, crushing our lips together in another drunken kiss. Well, that was his excuse – I didn't have one. I wasn't drunk and everyone knew it, but I seriously hoped that they would all be so kind as to overlook that fact on Monday.

I gave another moan, not so quiet this time, as he kissed me harder. My hands tangled themselves in his thick blonde hair as I began trailing kisses down his neck, paying special attention to a particular spot near his collar bone that made him noticeably shiver, all the while his hands still roaming to all a manner of places on my body. They were on my chest, in my hair, across my stomach, pressing against my back, and yes people, they even went in _that_ direction for a brief period of time before a somewhat jealous girl by the name of Sakura called a halt to our antics, her face extremely red and looking very… odd. I might even say... Nope, I couldn't pick it.

I glanced up at Naruto, whose eyes were still half-closed, his lips swollen from our frantic kisses. I felt my heart lurch at how adorable he was as he opened his eyes and scratched the back of his head nervously, a sloppy smile on his face.

"Er…" was all he managed.

I wasn't doing much better. I was totally and completely speechless. I wasn't so much stressing about whether he was gay or not now, but more about when the bloody hell he would realise it.

* * *

So there ye have it. Their first kiss! Naaaw -wriggle- Don't worry, there's _much_ more to come, heh heh.

**(1)** If you're not from Australia, vegemite on its own would be bad enough (we Aussies seem to have a resistance to it), but no matter where you come from, vegemite and milk is a _very_ bad combination… -gags-

**(2)** Mwahaha, I use this on my girlfriend all the time. It works without fail. –mad cackle-

**(3)** -shakes head furiously with a manic grin- Nope!

Review, people! Remember I need 5 before I keep going!


	5. Hyuuga Powers

Yo!

So I was all "Hey, gimme 5 reviews" and you were all like "No, we'll give you ten… and chuck a few more in with them" and I went "Wow, okay…" Thankyou all!

I didn't say it last chapter but I did say it in my replies to your reviews, I'm back at my Mum's house now and she never lets me use the internet, so updates will be slow. They're conveniently out tonight so I could update this faster than expected, but don't hold your breath for the next one.

Now, because I'm feeling incredibly generous today, I'm going to give out a prize to the first person that can find the incredibly obvious and bad pun in the third part of this story. If you guess it, leave your email in the review (I can't be arsed chasing it up) and I'll send you the next chapter early! (Well, as early as I can) Wooo! Go you! And _no peeking_. –stern shake of the head-

So, read it, guess, and don't forget to review! They make me update faster XD

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

* * *

5. HYUUGA POWERS

"Hey, Bro. How was it?"

I shrugged in response, my head swimming just a little. He took one look at me and burst out laughing.

"That good, huh?"

I dimly registered that this was one of his rare moments of total sanity before I grunted and opened the fridge, desperate for something, _anything_, to eat. I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up at Itachi, who was holding out a glass of water and a plate of bacon and eggs. My stomach grumbled.

"Thanks," I managed to mumble, and took the food to the bench, ripping into it like there was no tomorrow. Well, judging by how I felt at the moment, there wasn't going to _be_ a tomorrow – at least not for me.

And no, the reason I was feeling this crap was not solely because of a hangover (I thought I wasn't drunk. I was proved wrong when I woke up), but was mainly due to the fact that I got a grand total of one hour of sleep. I got home at about one, stressed about the stupid dobe until four, called Shikamaru for a couple of hours, finally fell asleep, woke up at eight, and got handed breakfast.

I was doing my best to forget about Naruto when Itachi rudely made me remember by saying, "So, did you get him or what?"

Oh for God's sake! What is it with people this last week? Am I really that obvious?

He must've been able to read my facial expressions because he laughed and said, "Bro, you should really lower your voice when you're on the phone."

Bugger it. I turned my icy glare on him and was only infuriated more when he grinned. Sometimes I found it hard to believe that he was nuts, but then I remembered that incident with the soap… and it all came crashing back down.

"Well you should really stop listening at my door."

He shrugged and got himself a glass of water as he said, "I was in the living room – you weren't exactly quiet. And being on the on the phone for two hours at God knows what time of the morning probably wasn't such a good idea, because you're paying the bill."

I didn't bother asking what he was doing in the living room at four in the morning, just shovelled some more food into my mouth. There's no denying it – Itachi was a good cook. I chewed slowly and swallowed.

"Well, in answer to your question, no I did not 'get him'. But you should already know that if you were listening to my conversation."

He drained his glass and leant against the sink, arms folded in front of his chest. "Nah, I only heard the start, the end, and something about him being a really great kisser."

I felt my face heat up and he laughed as I ducked my head, stuffing myself with more food.

"So, when were you planning on telling me you're into guys?"

I blinked, fork stopping halfway to my mouth. What? "I thought you already knew…"

He shook his head. "Nope."

"But… Gaara?"

Itachi looked blank for a moment, then his face ran through a series of emotions all at once – recognition, confusion, realisation, hysteria, then decided to settle on shock. It was kind of funny to watch, really.

"You mean… when I-"

"Walked in on me making out with someone? Yep, that was a guy. Gaara, to be precise." Before you ask, Gaara and I weren't having a relationship – we just got a little too caught up in the moment. It gets like that sometimes.

He looked like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing but no sound coming out, and I smirked at him, standing up and sweeping my plate into the sink.

"I thought – I thought that was Sakura!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you _honestly_ think they look anything alike? And why the hell would I kiss Sakura? Ew."

"I'd only met them once before, how was I supposed to remember what the back of their heads looked like? And I thought you liked her!"

I patted him on the head like a small child and smiled sarcastically at him. "Ah, brother, you think a lot of things, don't you?"

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Monday morning in double English, and I was _this _close to ripping someone's head off. All I was getting from people were smirks, cheeky grins, subtle winks, whispered comments and inconspicuous slaps on the back. I made the fatal mistake of frowning in frustration and Ino saw it.

"Hey Sasuke," she whispered, "you look stressed. Maybe Naruto can help you, uh… _relieve_ the _pressure_."

I burned holes through her head with my glare. Well, something to that effect, anyway. I may have scared the life out of her, I'm not quite sure, although she didn't say anything to me for the rest of the class, which was definitely on the up side.

But I reckon I probably should have insulted her instead, because Kiba leaned across and whispered, "What's that? Can't talk from all that _groaning_ you love to do?"

I gave him the same treatment as Ino and got pissed off even more when he just shrugged it off nervously and continued drawing. My fists clenched under the table as I frantically fought a blush and glanced up at Naruto, who was sitting in between Lee and Gaara. It gave me some sort of twisted satisfaction that he didn't seem to like hearing what he had done on Saturday night and was getting frightfully embarrassed. I heard a snatch of Lee and Naruto's conversation before both their temples met an eraser sent by Kakashi-sensei.

"And then he made this noise -"

Naruto cut him off with a hand to his mouth and a frantic shake of the head. "No, I do _not_ want to hear that. I can remember most of it, but I don't-"

_Thwack_. And in comes the eraser.

I smirked just as the bell went, and did my best not to faint with relief. I grabbed my books and hurried out of the classroom, ignoring Shikamaru's bored yet somewhat frustrated sigh that he directed my way.

I did my best if-you-dare-so-much-as-_look_-at-me-I-am-going-to-rip-your-balls-off-and-stuff-them-down-your-throat stance all recess, and thankfully got left alone. Why the _hell_ were they harassing me anyway? Sure, Naruto hadn't had to make out with anyone else that night so none of them would know how bloody good at it he was despite being drunk (hang on, maybe that's why Sakura hadn't said anything yet), but still, they could get off my back about it. What was I meant to do, sit back like a dead fish and let him do all the work? I gave a mental snort. No way.

The bell rang again, cutting across my thoughts, and I groaned at the realisation that next class was art. With Neji. Said boy just happened to be walking past as I did so and nudged me in the ribs as he said, "Naruto's not here, Uchiha, no need for the noises."

That earned him a decent punch in the arm. I hope you die a most slow and painful death, Hyuuga.

Surprisingly, art went well… aside from the winks and sly comments from Neji and Tenten. I handled them all up until I stood up to ask Anko-sensei something, and Tenten giggled at me.

"Uh, Sasuke? You've got something on your arse."

I moved to brush it away, but Neji grabbed my arm. I glared at him but he just smirked.

"Tenten, fetch Naruto. I'm sure he could be of some use."

_Smack_. Right in the jaw. So I got kicked out – no surprises there.

Somehow I managed to avoid Naruto all lunch time. Well I suppose it wasn't that hard – I was in a lunch-time detention for punching Neji in art. Ah well, it got me out of the inevitable torture that I was sure to have received had I been with the gang while we ate.

But as I had my lunch and stared blankly at a plain white wall, I almost fell off my chair as I realised that the next double was sport with Naruto. I didn't, but it was a very close thing.

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Oh, Christ, could this be any more awkward?

Together in a group with Shino and Kiba in sport, doing trust exercises. Crap crap crap. He hadn't said a word to me yet, and was even making less of an idiot of himself than usual. I didn't like this Naruto, not at all. Sure, he was a downright pain in the arse when he was happy, but him being quiet was just weird. Almost as weird as Hinata being sexy…

Did he regret it? Did he even _remember_ it? He was sure to have remembered some of it, judging by what he was saying in English. He had to know that he'd at least _kissed _me, surely. I was stressing again, and boy did I know it. I hadn't gotten much sleep last night either, for exactly the same reason as the night before, and I was bloody tired. I couldn't concentrate on anything – Naruto was too overwhelming. Just him being _near_ me sent my out-of-control imagination to places I really didn't need it going, especially at school. Whenever he spoke I was reminded of his lips against my own; whenever he put his hand up to answer a question (though that was a rarity) I couldn't help feeling them against my stomach, in my hair; and whenever he rubbed the back of his neck I felt my hand subconsciously go to my own, where a couple of bruises lingered.

"Sasuke!"

I snapped out of my daydream just in time to reach out and grab Kiba's arm before he fell. Oops. Damn Naruto and his blonde sexiness!

I glanced up at Shino, who looked mildly exasperated. Kiba was barking furiously at me but I tuned out. Naruto was wearing his usual bright grin, but this time it didn't reach his eyes, and he glanced at me nervously. What, did he think I was gonna jump him or something?

It was _you_ who jumped _me_, I felt like telling him, but I couldn't. That would mean talking about it and admitting we both remembered it and were thinking about it – well, assuming he _was_ thinking of it. Which he probably wasn't. I mean, why would he be? It's not like he liked me or anything. But then again, he did get quite into it… perhaps that was just the alcohol, though.

Angsty Sasuke?

Yes?

Piss off.

Sometimes I worried that my brother's insanity was rubbing off on me.

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I nudged Neji sharply in the side as Tenten looked at him meaningfully. Shino glanced up briefly, his expression blank and unreadable, looked towards Anko-sensei and back down to his work. What is it with that kid and bugs?

Neji pointedly ignored me, staring with fake intensity at his own work, until I coughed loudly. He looked up and glared (his death glare could almost rival mine and Gaara's… Almost).

"What?" He hissed.

"You know what."

He visibly shuddered. "Now?"

Tenten winked. "Of course now, when else would you do it?"

Neji sighed and pushed his chair back, walking over to stand next to our teacher. She was part-way through explaining brush stroke techniques to some unfortunate girl when Neji coughed politely behind her.

"Anō… Anko-sensei?"

"What?" She snapped, whirling around to face him.

Ooh, she was a cold one, all right. Poor Neji. Poor, poor Neji. Actually no, he deserved it for all those damn comments he'd been sending my way. Take that.

"You know your painting that you showed us last class?"

"Yes, what of it?"

"Well, I wanted to see it again, because I thought it was beautiful –"

"If you're trying to suck up to me then forget it, you're already passing so there's no need. Now get back to your seat."

I smirked as Neji squirmed. Tenten hit her head on the desk to hide her laughter, and even Shino had a hard time keeping a straight face. And I'll say it again – take that, Neji.

"Sorry, sensei, but you see –"

"Come on, out with it."

"Well, I really wanted to take another look at it, and I saw you put it in the back room, so I went in there –"

"What did you do to my painting, Hyuuga?"

And out comes the surname. Ouch. We all watched in amazement as Neji whispered something in her ear and followed her into the back room, shutting the door behind him. I turned to Tenten, who raised her eyebrows at me, clearly shocked.

"Um… tell me I wasn't just hallucinating and Neji actually did go into the back room with Anko-sensei."

I nodded as Shino answered for me. "It happened."

Tenten sat back in her seat heavily. We waited in silence, tuning out to the whispers around the room and the scratching of pencils on paper. The clock ticked over. Five minutes… ten minutes…We all jumped, barely managing to hide it, as the door clicked open and Anko-sensei's flustered voice filled the room once more.

"Well, yes… uh… thank you for that, Neji, I'll be sure to keep it in mind." She smoothed down her clothes nervously and I couldn't help but notice she looked somewhat ruffled. Her hair wasn't as perfect as usual with a couple of strands sneaking across her forehead and her cheeks were a little red as she stammered for Neji to return to his seat.

Neji nodded politely to her with a secretive smile and resumed his seat, a smug look on his face. We all stared at him, even Shino, waiting for him to spill. The entire class was silent, glancing nervously between the teacher, who was typing away at her laptop muttering to herself, and Neji, who was innocently continuing his drawing. Tenten, Shino and I all looked at each other, clearly shocked. Had he actually done it?

Finally, Tenten gave up waiting and said in a frantic whisper, "Well? What happened?"

Neji shrugged, continuing his work. I kicked him under the table and he gave me the world's cockiest lop-sided grin.

"Never underestimate the powers of a Hyuuga, my friends."

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I poked at my food, that familiar not-wanting-to-eat feeling in the pit of my stomach. All I could hear was Naruto's voice, all I could taste was his lips, all I could bloody feel was his hands in my hair. He was driving me insane! It was bad on Monday, worse on Tuesday, and absolute freaking _torture _today. And it didn't help that he, Kiba and Lee were currently having a loud argument about something no-one else could possibly care about or even understand.

It was mildly amusing for the first part, Lee talking about some new fighting style he'd discovered, and all of us just waiting for the inevitable. Sure enough, within the first minute, he said it.

"And when I twist like this –" insert mini demo here "- I feel so privileged to still be so young –"

"Aha!" Tenten screeched, jumping up and pointing a delighted finger at him. "That's another week – unless of course you want to steal all Kakashi-sensei's books and own up to it?" Lee visibly paled under her wide grin, and thumped his head on the table.

It shot up again just as fast, and he said. "Never! I will suppress my urges and face the challenge!"

Then Naruto said something, Kiba laughed, Lee was offended, and so they began arguing. Eventually, I'd had enough, and smacked my hand down on the table as I shouted, "Just shut _up_, dobe!"

As Naruto sent a few choice swear words and the occasional 'teme' down to my end of the table, I dimly registered Gaara and Neji rolling their eyes. I ignored them – they could go to hell, along with whatever they were planning. I needed to take a walk.

I pushed my seat back from the table with a loud scrape, left my plate where it was and stalked away. I had gone barely five metres when I heard footsteps either side of me. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply. If it was Gaara or Neji, I would punch the living shit out of them and be on my way. If it was Sakura, I would calmly ignore her, and if it was anyone else – well, I should be able to get away.

I wasn't, however, expecting it to be Shikamaru and Shino, and jumped ever so slightly when I heard Shino say, "I know exactly how you feel."

I waited until we got to the grassy area by the stage before saying as calm as I could, "And how might you know that?"

I sat down next to Shikamaru, who sighed noisily and instantly flopped onto his back, staring at the clouds. Shino sat on the grass softly, crossing his legs.

"He's loud, he's annoying, he won't leave you alone. He's taking over and he has absolutely no idea he's doing it. He's oblivious to everything, you're getting sick of it and you want to punch him in the face but know you won't be able to bring yourself to do it. Trust me, I know how you feel."

Um… wow? I said nothing, and he rightly took my silence as confusion.

"One word: Kiba."

Oh, that explained it. I wriggled slightly, frustrated, and copied Shikamaru. No matter how many people ridiculed him for being so fascinated with clouds, I for one could vouch for him. They were peaceful, just drifting along without a care in the world, mingling with others and breaking away. You could really lose yourself in them if you stared long enough. I sighed.

Shikamaru grunted and said, "Go on then."

I opened my mouth to speak, but then decided against it. I couldn't just dump my stupid teenage problems on my friends all the time. I had to learn to deal with this on my own or I would never learn. So I shook my head, allowed a barely visible smile to escape, and stared up at the clouds.

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Sooo there it is. As I said up there -points up- updates probably won't be as consistent, but I'l try my best. Don't forget that lovely little prize that awaits you if you can spot my pun in the third section! XD

Reviews, people!

WY


	6. Victory Dance

Hey peeps, thankee for all your messages with your guesses (hehe kinda rhymes) and the luffly reviews! They make me happy XD

But you know what? _No one_ got it! I thought it was obvious...Apparently not. Well, here it is: "Kiba was barking furiously at me."

See? Kiba. Dog-Boy. Barking. Get it? -facepalmsigh- Sorry hah.

If you hadn't picked up on this already, I'm not one for writing thoughts out in italics, especially in first person stories (which is the only way I write, really). But usually when it switches to present tense, that's when our Sasuke boy is thinkin'. Kay? Awesome XD Just in case any of you were getting confused. I know it's a bit late to tell you, but ah well.

Sorry it took so amazingly long to update this chapter, but I've already explained my current internet situation so you'll just have to bear with me. Although the next one should be up as soon as I get a decent amount of reviews because, as of two days ago, I have oh-so-conveniently been given run of the house with my brother for a week. Mwahahahahahaha! –happy dance- I won't be able to do personal review replies though, which I normally do (sorry if I missed you!), but if you give me an awesome one or a great idea I'll try my best.

Soo, read on and all that stuff. _Finally_ Naruto is getting somewhere. Go on, make my day and review!

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

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6. VICTORY DANCE

It just so turns out that my way of dealing with things isn't exactly normal. I don't talk with my friends about it, I don't talk with the person I'm having trouble with, I don't talk with my brother (not that I'd get far with that anyway), and I definitely don't indulge in an entire bucket of ice cream or a whole block of chocolate. No, I really don't… Honest.

_My_ way of dealing with things on my own was to skip school (well, technically Thursday was a day off so my plan didn't come into effect until Friday, even though I skipped last two periods on Wednesday as well) and take out all my frustration on my video games when Sakura came over for dinner (why the hell I invited her, I have no idea). Clocking game after game on my console was great stress relief, and I found myself forgetting about Naruto as each hour wore on.

"What the hell was that for?!" Sakura shouted as I pounded her into the ground for about the thirtieth time that evening. (1)

I raised an eyebrow, not bothering to reply, and promptly beat her up again. She threw the controller at the ground in frustration and said, "I absolutely refuse to play another game."

Pah, sore loser. When I didn't reply yet again – I hadn't talked much so far – she looked at me with that damn thoughtful expression, and I started up a solo game.

She began gnawing on her bottom lip, and I knew what was coming but was seriously hoping she wouldn't say it.

"Sasuke…"

Dammit. I did the standard ignore-it-and-it-will-go-away mentality, but she persisted despite my ongoing silence.

"Why haven't you been at school?"

Jeez, it's only been two days, and that's including the day off.

"Is… is it because of Naruto?"

More silence. The only sign that I'd even heard her was the clenching of my jaw muscles.

"God, why won't you talk?!"

I rounded on her, my eyes flashing. Seriously, why do I even bother? "Because I don't _feel_ like it, okay? I don't _feel_ like spilling my guts out to you."

"Then why the hell did you invite me here?"

I was momentarily stumped. Good question. I opened my mouth to answer, then closed it again. I mentally beat myself up as she gave me that stalker smirk, and patted me on the shoulder.

"I'll talk to him, I don't mind."

I shrugged, pressing the buttons just a little too hard on the console. "If you want to."

She rolled her eyes and stood up off the couch. "Whatever, I'm going to help your brother with dinner."

What?! I jammed the pause button and shot to my feet, grabbing her arm. She faced me, clearly surprised, and was about to say something when I cut her off with "No, don't interrupt him when he's cooking."

"But –"

"Trust me – you don't want to."

She looked at me strangely, tugging her arm out of my grip. "Why not?"

I shook my head, not wanting to go into details, when a loud cackle came from the kitchen. I glanced up at her and she raised her eyebrows, mouth shaped in a silent "Oh" as Itachi screeched, "No! Spinach!"

That's why no one should disturb my brother when he's cooking. You never know when he'll turn around, chop you up and put you in there as well.

Sakura composed herself and sat back down heavily on the couch while I resumed my game. She was lucky – if I wasn't relying on her to get answers out of Naruto, then I would have let her go in there, just for a laugh. I was a little bit twisted like that.

"So… er – what do you want me to say to Naruto?"

I shrugged. "Whatever you want."

She sighed in frustration, tugging a little at her pink hair. Yes, pink. See why I found it interesting, now?

"Look, do you want me to tell him you like him or –"

I spun around, ignoring the game in my shock. "What? No!"

She gave me this crazy triumphant look and I frantically tried to eat my words in a very un-Sasuke-like fashion. "I meant that you wouldn't want to tell him that because it's obviously not true, and you're going out with him anyway – that would be stupid. I just want him to know that it was dare and didn't mean anything, so he can stop being all jumpy around me." Yes…

She rolled her eyes. "Which translates to 'tell him but don't make it obvious and find out if he enjoyed it or if he's still thinking about it – to hell with your relationship, I want him for myself'. Am I right or am I right?"

Damn her and her girl instincts! Instead of admitting it, I answered with my own question. "Why are you going out with him anyway? You don't seem to feel anything much for him."

She shrugged and looked at her knees as she said, "You're right, but I do have my reasons."

"I know you want to get something out of him."

She chose to use my tactic, and didn't say anything until Itachi shouted out, "Oi kids! Dinner's – agh!"

As we stood up, she touched my arm so I looked up at her. "I'm doing it for you," she whispered. I didn't get a chance to respond as she shouted out to Itachi that we were coming and rushed out of the room, understandably not wanting to keep him waiting.

Girls are so annoying.

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Saturday and Sunday still counted as sulking days, so I declined Neji's invitation to see a local band and called in sick at work. I'm an Uchiha – when we sulk, we do it properly. I didn't call anyone, I ignored Itachi, and I owned everyone on Final Fantasy, Halo, Smash Bros and Thirteen. As per usual.

When Monday rolled around I was feeling infinitely better, helped along by the fact that Sakura had obviously talked to Naruto over the weekend. I got to English ten minutes late, waited five minutes for the teacher (Kakashi-sensei was always late, without fail), and settled down for a whole double period of nothing.

Fifteen minutes into the lesson and I was slowly falling asleep. This had to be the biggest waste of time class ever, seriously. Kakashi-sensei always arrived late, handed out a selection of sheets, then settled down in the corner at his desk to read that perverted book he always carried around. I really didn't understand how we aced our tests when none of us knew anything much about the language at all, save for the odd word here and there. Ah, dictionaries are great things.

But despite his total lack of interest in our class, no one talked – we were all secretly afraid and so settled for passing notes inconspicuously. He had a knack for knowing exactly who it was who was whispering and throwing a well-aimed pen, ruler or eraser at their head, hitting just the right spot so it hurt like hell. Which was exactly how he had shut up Lee and Naruto the previous Monday.

But despite no-one being game enough to talk, no one bothered with the work – it was a waste of time. He never checked it, he never even took up our sheets. So it seriously was a class of absolutely nothing. No talking, no work – totally boring. But as I looked up at Naruto (I couldn't help it, my eyes did it of their own accord) I noticed he was looking at Kiba with a very thoughtful expression on his face.

What's that, dobe? You think he's good looking? Well, I didn't blame him, really, but staring was probably bound to catch his attention soon, what with Naruto sitting next to him and all.

I felt someone nudge me in the side, and glanced over at Shikamaru, who handed me a note with an incredibly bored expression. I was thankful that Ino wasn't here today, otherwise she was sure to have read it. Even if it was just a simple 'what are you doing after school?' I _hated_ people reading my notes.

I unfolded the torn piece of paper under the desk and stared at Naruto's writing. I looked up, amazed that the note had gone so far without catching Kakashi-sensei's attention, and saw that he was no longer looking at Kiba, but down at the desk, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks. I glanced across at Kiba, whose expression hadn't changed from the fierce concentration he had before as he drew. So, either Naruto had caught himself out or he saw I'd gotten the note…

I ducked my head back down to read the scribbled words, barely managing to decipher them.

_Just wanted to say sorry for acting so weird last week._

I coughed, stunned. What? An apology from Naruto? That was something I never thought I'd live to see.

_I just… um… needed a while to sort my head out. I guess I coulda pulled out if I really wanted to and just dealt with whatever else they dished out, but I didn't, and I've been trying to work out why. Sorry if I've confused you or anything… yeah…_

_- N._

I blinked down at the page, still amazed. Then I noticed there were a few more '…'s and scribbled out sentences, so I spent the next ten minutes trying to decode them. When I eventually got it, I smirked and wrote:

_Did I enjoy it? You bet I did, dobe._

A shockingly red Naruto got the return comment, and I smiled on the inside as he hurriedly stuffed it into his pencil case. Well, once I'd read it I couldn't very well ignore it, could I? I could, however, plainly ignore Gaara and Neji's knowing stares as they watched me from the back of the room, visible out of the corner of my eye. And so I did exactly that as I stared down at my page, looking entirely blank on the outside but squirming with typical teenager nerves on the inside.

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That note was surprisingly the start of a weird sort of friendship between us. For the next week we still insulted each other, still screwed up in class, still got sent to old Aunt Tsunade, and still got detentions, but it was done in a more… friendly way. Whenever he called me a 'stupid teme' he would have this dumb smile on his face that almost melted the block of ice I had for a heart, almost made me drop the mask and grin back, and almost made me pounce on him right then and there and snog him to within an inch of his life. Almost, but not quite. It was a very close thing though.

The only unusual thing that happened in that time was that Naruto walked home with me on the Friday after he gave me the note. He had to visit Shikamaru for an art assignment or something, so decided to walk with me. I was surprised, a little nervous, and promising to give Shikamaru anything he wanted for being away that day. It was awkward at first, because we were still getting used to the fact that we enjoyed each other's company just a little bit, and so it was only when we had about five minutes to go before he decided to speak up.

"Teme?"

"Yeah?"

He stopped walking and shoved his hands in his pockets, scuffing his toe into the ground. I paused for a moment to take in the adorable view before I said, "What's up, dobe?"

He looked up with a sheepish grin and shrugged. "Uh, do you think we could… we could take a walk in the park, before we get to Shikamaru's?"

I eyed him sceptically. "We could… Why?"

He shrugged again and looked up at the cloudy sky. "I just wanted to talk, that's all."

"Hn."

I turned around and crossed the road, not bothering to check if he was following, and headed in the direction of the park. We said nothing as we cut through the trees, save for when I pulled back a branch, letting it go just in time to smack him soundly in the face and he shouted "Stupid teme! What the hell what that for?"

I didn't answer, barely hearing him mumbling under his breath just behind me. He wanted to talk – he was _voluntarily_ talking to me. I had to remember to give Sakura a giant box of chocolates for having a word to him. Anonymously, of course – the cold Sasuke she knew wouldn't do that. But I swear, Naruto was corrupting me. I noticed myself smiling more when he was around, allowing myself a small soundless laugh when someone cracked a joke, and letting my mask slip just a little too often for my liking. And I don't think I was the only one who noticed it. Sakura, Neji and Gaara could be seen exchanging smirks whenever I let myself slip, even for a second. It pissed me off to no end, but I remembered what Sakura said about doing it for me, so I let it slide for the time being. In Sakura we trust.

But what did he want to talk about? I didn't dare so much as hope that he was going to tell me he liked me – that was just stupid and completely unrealistic. The kid wasn't even gay – well, _yet_. God, I hope it's not about Sakura.

When we reached the park a few minutes later, Naruto shot straight to the unoccupied swings and sat down heavily, his feet scraping along the ground. He looked so sad and dejected that if I were anyone else I would have given him a warm hug and kind comforting words. But I wasn't someone else, I was Uchiha Sasuke, so I settled on sitting on the nearby bench and waited for him to speak, fixing him with my trademark blank stare.

Eventually he looked up at me with a confused expression and said, "I… I just wanted to know…"

I raised an eyebrow when he petered out, clearly saying 'hurry up and tell me or I'll reconsider my reasons for you wasting my time and leave... or kill you'. He noticed the cold look and took a deep breath.

"I wanted to know how you realised you were gay and what made you realise and how you knew it wasn't just a phase and how you dealt with it."

It took me a minute to decipher what he said, due to his ability to talk at a speed no one else could possibly understand, and when I did figure it out, I blinked. And stared. And blinked again. Okay, _that_ I wasn't expecting. I allowed myself a little mental victory dance before saying carefully and slowly, "Why are you asking _me_?"

"Well duh, I thought that would be obvious!"

I gave him my best blank look, waiting for him to elaborate. I wasn't stupid, I already knew, I was just stalling and figuring out the best way to explain.

"Well, you're gay… aren't you?"

"So is Kiba."

Naruto shook his head and I hid my confusion. "No, he said he's just Shino-sexual or something. He's not attracted to any other guys except him."

Oh, that was interesting. I thought for a moment before answering.

"That may be so, but why are you asking?"

I knew his answer already, I just wanted to hear him say it. He scratched the back of his head and gave a nervous laugh, kicking against the ground to push the swing a little.

"Well, I guess… I guess I'm a little confused, you know?"

"How so?" I kept my voice level, despite my crazy heart rate.

He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, for a smart teme, you're pretty stupid sometimes. Look, since we – you know…"

"Made out."

"Yes, since _that_, I've been thinking, and… well, I wasn't as drunk as you all thought I was that night, and I knew exactly what I was doing. I didn't really have any issues kissing you – well I did about kissing _you_, but not because you're a guy, obviously – and yeah, I enjoyed it, a lot, but now I'm confused if that makes me gay or bi or what."

"Just because you enjoy a kiss doesn't mean you change sexuality," I pointed out.

He gave a frustrated shrug. "Yeah but I didn't really feel anything when I kissed the others 'cos it was just quick… And now these last couple of weeks I've been noticing Gaara and Kiba and Neji and… and…"

Go on, dobe, spill it.

"And even _you_, teme."

Hah, I knew it.

"And I was with Sai and Shikamaru in art the other day and I was even looking at _them_ differently. One day I'm completely devoted to Sakura, next day we make out, and the day after that I find myself ogling every guy I see!"

He looked up at me helplessly and my heart went out to him while I kept my expression impassive. Well, I couldn't blame him for noticing – we were hot, simply put. Gaara had this evil mysterious side that naturally drew people in at the same time as shut out, as well as being just… ngh. Best way to describe it, really. Kiba had that scruffy adorable thing going, Neji was just plain gorgeous, really, what with his long brown hair and pale skin and strange eyes. I'll admit that I liked him for a while there. I was hot and I knew it, enough said. Sai was ridiculously similar looking to me, and Shikamaru had this lazy genius charm that only he could pull off… Even if his hair did make him look a bit like a pineapple. The only misfortunate ones among us were Lee and Choji, actually. Shino wasn't exactly unattractive but he wasn't attractive either, he just sort of… was.

I didn't say anything for a while and Naruto must've thought I wasn't listening, because he got up off the swing and sat down next to me, waving a hand in front of my face. I blinked, coming out of my daze and looking him square in the eye.

"What about Sakura?"

He groaned in frustration and flopped down on the grass in front of me, covering his eyes with his hands. Can't he ever stay in the one position longer than a minute?

"That's the thing – I don't know! I still like her, but the thought of kissing her doesn't have the same appeal as it did a couple of weeks ago. It just doesn't seem right. So I thought, maybe it's just her, maybe I don't like her as much as I used to. But I don't want to kiss Hinata or Tenten and definitely not Ino either."

"So who do you want to kiss?"

He was silent for a little while, having some mental war with himself, then spread apart his fingers and peered through gap they made.

"Uh… I – um…_kuso_!"

And with that lovely little parting note he sat up, fast as lightning, and before I even had time to react his lips were on mine and then gone again. The only evidence they had even been there was the deep blush along Naruto's cheeks and the burning sensation they left behind.

I sat in silence as he swore again then stood, rushing out of the clearing, I assumed to Shikamaru's house. Well, that was an interesting turn of events. It was a couple of minutes later, me still sitting there totally dumbfounded, that I realised I hadn't actually answered his initial question, and I allowed myself a small smile.

We might just have to have another conversation sometime soon…

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**(1)** Mind out of the gutter, children. That's better.

Uh… I actually have almost no idea where this is going in terms of plot. I have ideas swimming around in that big ol' head of mine, but actually putting them onto the page is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

If any of you would like to see me put something in here, if you have any funny lines, any thoughts and ideas – ANYTHING – drop me a line and I'll definitely consider it.

I've already gotten ideas from a couple of your reviews, so more would be waaaaaaaaaaay helpful XD

Thanks!

WY


	7. Friendly Picnic' My Arse

Hi everyone, thanks for your awesome reviews!

So... nothing much to say on this chapter, just that it's a clearing-things-up type chapter. I had to explain the Sakura thing (as if it wasn't obvious) and set it up for the awesome chapter coming up. It's a 2 Part double update, so get the reviews in for this chapter I'll put up 8 and 9.

Ngh, I don't like this one much, but it had a vague point to it. Okay I'll shut up now. Review!

WY

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7. 'FRIENDLY PICNIC' MY ARSE

"Tadaima!" I shouted, not knowing where Itachi would be or if he could even hear me, depending on if he was currently insane or not.

I was surprised when I heard his voice from the living room, and was even more surprised to find Gaara sitting in said room discussing the conversational habits of sharks with him - not something I really wanted to deal with at the moment. I needed to rant and I needed Shikamaru to listen, not Gaara. But still, he was better than no one… even if he did do that weird thing with his non-existent eyebrows that said he knew _exactly_ what was going on in your head and he thought it hysterically funny.

"No, but you see, last time all he spoke about was honey, and to be perfectly honest, I couldn't understand a word of it."

Gaara nodded, making understanding noises, then they both saw me standing there with a blank yet slightly blissful and distant expression that had fought its way out of my mask and decided to hang around for a while, and Gaara noticeably sighed with relief.

Thank God, his eyes said, I was going to kill myself if he didn't shut up soon.

I shrugged and motioned for Gaara to follow, completely ignoring Itachi. It didn't matter though, he probably didn't even notice we'd left the room judging by his constant chatter.

Gaara looked at me with his weird eyes. "Something's up… What happened?"

I shrugged and opened my door, flopping down on my bed straight away and burying my face in the pillows.

"What are you doing here?" My voice was severely muffled, but the general point was still clear.

I felt a weight at the end of my bed as Gaara said, "I just wanted to talk."

Pfft, 'talk', _sure_. I noticed before I suffocated myself on my pillows that he had that look in his eye that said he wanted something else, and quite frankly I wasn't in the mood for it. He could go molest Neji instead for all I cared.

"About?"

A brief silence, then, "…Hinata."

_That_ got my attention. My head jerked up and I twisted so I could see him properly. His usually uncaring expression had changed to confusion and distress, and he was staring fixedly out my window. Okay, maybe I misinterpreted the look he gave me before. He refused to look me in the eye as I continued to stare, utterly bewildered. Of course I didn't let it show, but inside my skull my brain was compiling a twenty metre long list of questions about why the _hell_ Gaara was confused about Hinata. (1)

He seemed to understand my silence and said very bluntly, "I like her. A lot."

Ri-ight… I sat up straight, my back supported by the pillows, and eyeballed him until he finally turned to me. When he failed to elaborate, I intensified my glare until he squirmed slightly (Gaara? Squirm? Strange, I know) and crossed his legs.

"I want to know if she likes me."

I could tell already that I'd never get an explanation as to _why_ he liked her – Gaara was crap at explaining things like that anyway – so I settled deeper into my pillows and thought. Almost everyone, girls included, thought Hinata was interested in them at some stage, due to her constant blushing and thumb-twiddling whenever someone addressed her. But it was a very difficult thing indeed to know when she actually did fancy you. I smirked at Gaara.

"You know an Uchiha never backs down from a challenge." Even though I'd employ the help of someone who would basically do all the work for me. But he didn't need to know that.

Gaara looked at me with his brows furrowed, expression now deadly serious, and nodded once. Well, today was full of surprises.

"Now, your turn. What happened?"

I shrugged, unwilling to answer. I chanced a glance at him and scowled. He was doing _that_ look. He was smart, but he wasn't a telepath.

"Naruto likes you, doesn't he?"

My scowl deepened. Okay, maybe he was a telepath.

"Don't look so pissed off. It's a good thing, isn't it?"

More silence. I was getting good at that. Maybe I should become a hermit…? I shuddered mentally as I remembered that Naruto's uncle, Jiraiya, was a hermit for many years, and I sure as hell did_not_ want to become as perverted as him.

"Don't go all broody. That's my job."

"I'm an Uchiha. Enough said." He knew what I meant. An Uchiha could dwell on whatever they liked for as long as they liked and so help anyone who tried to get it out of them before they were ready to spill. And I planned to do just that. Gaara, however, scoffed at me.

"I don't care if you're the bloody Queen of England, you can't scowl like that when Naruto likes you. You're cold, but you're not that cold."

As ever, he got straight to the point. That was one of the good things about Gaara; he was always blunt. He didn't deal with anybody's crap and he didn't expect them to deal with his. He was a good person to have as a friend. But still, he wasn't Shikamaru, and I sighed.

"I need to think first. I finish my shift at four tomorrow, swing by around then."

He raised a would-be eyebrow and nodded, clambering off my bed. He paused at the door, and turned back to me, surprisingly looking slightly worried.

"Uh… your brother sort of creeps me out."

I smirked and pushed him out the door, closing it with a sharp snap behind him. I heard an angry huff from the other side before his footsteps stomped away. Ah well, Itachi needed someone else to talk to occasionally, and if that person just so happened to be an unwilling Gaara forced on him by his friend who delighted in seeing people squirm beneath his brother's insane cackle, then so be it.

Yes, sick pleasures, I know.

It was then that I realised Naruto was at Shikamaru's, and that calling him would be completely out of the question.

Dammit!

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I opened the door and almost yanked Shikamaru inside, giving a mental nod of approval as he wisely ignored my brother's usual screech from the kitchen. He was cooking again.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at me but said nothing shoving his hands in his pockets and making his way to my room uninvited. He was always like that, but I didn't care. He got the general hint that I wanted to talk urgently when I finally mustered up the courage to call him. Turns out that Naruto was only there for five minutes. I felt incredibly stupid.

When we were both in my room with the door closed, me stretched out on my back on my bed and him sitting cross-legged on the floor, he said, "All right, spill it."

I took a deep breath and began the rant that he knew was coming. Pushing myself off the bed and standing up, I began to pace. Get into the rhythm, you know. Oh, I ranted about a great many things, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I didn't know what to think – he bloody hates me for a good three years, then we make out because of a dare and next thing I know he tells me he thinks he might be into guys and he _kisses me_!What if he's just going through a phase? What if I turn out to be that phase? Does he actually like me, or is he confused just because he happened to enjoy our intense snog session? He's so oblivious to everything that it probably is just a phase, and he would realise in a couple of weeks and say with that irritatingly gorgeous sheepish grin, "Oh, sorry teme, but you know, I'm actually in love with Sakura and I was just a little confused." And what the _hell_ is Sakura planning? She's conspiring against one of us with Gaara and Neji, I can just tell. And occasionally I catch her looking at Naruto with this vaguely triumphant look, like she's just gotten this enormous secret out of him.

I paused mid-rant as it hit me. Oh God, she wasn't that cruel, was she? No… she couldn't…

I dropped my Uchiha mask, dimly hoping that Shikamaru realised how fortunate he was to be the only one that saw me do this, and glanced at the boy on my floor. I was about to open my mouth when I noticed that he was breathing rather heavily, and all too evenly. Dammit, he fell asleep!

"Hey!" I shouted, stamping my foot like a five year old.

He opened his eyes and glared at me. "I was listening, Uchiha. No need to shout."

I sat down on the bed heavily, staring down at him and trying my utmost not to look helpless. "Well?"

He closed his eyes again, but I already knew what he was going to say – I'm so troublesome.

"You're so troublesome."

Oh, what a guess. I waited, knowing he would talk eventually. He was one of those people that calculated what they were going to say before they said it. A bit like me, except that I was usually sifting through an ocean of insults and picking just the right one to cut the offender deep.

"I don't think it's just a phase. From what you said he sounded generally confused when he talked to you. He also kissed you of his own accord – that's got to mean something. And don't tell me you only just figured out what Sakura's doing."

His brow furrowed in what I took to be pity for me, and I scowled despite him not being able to see it through his eyelids.

"But couldn't she just _ask_? Does she really have to embarrass herself and him to find out?"

"I don't think he would take kindly to being asked outright if he's gay."

"Well she did that to me!"

"You're not the sort of person to jump around and flat-out deny it. You're very straightforward."

I wasn't sure if it was a compliment or just a statement. "So… what if it turns out he is gay, and it's not just a phase?"

"Well he asked you, didn't he? He's confused so you're going to have to help him through it. He'll probably need some time to think it over, and you didn't actually answer his question anyway, so you have an excuse to meet up with him."

Well, I wasn't the only one that saw the opportunity present itself to me on a silver platter.

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I glared down at Kakashi-sensei, one of the regulars, as he scanned over the menu. Oh he was deliberately taking his time to spite me, and he knew that I knew it. Apparently this just made him less certain about what he wanted to order, and every time I walked off he would start to say something but change his mind before he finished whatever it was, looking back down to the menu with his brows furrowed. I was just about to tell him off a second time when Iruka-sensei pushed past me and yanked the menu out of the other teacher's hands as he sat down.

He looked up at me with an irritated expression and said, "Two strong cappuccinos, thank you Sasuke."

I smirked as I took the menus away, and couldn't help wondering what they were doing there together. The sensible side of my mind said that they were there strictly on school matters, but the giddy teenager side (yes, I _do _have one of those, believe it or not, it's just that Naruto has currently taken up a large portion of it) thought that there was something odd in the look that Kakashi gave the other man when he sat down and so instantly decided that they were shagging. Simple as that. My steps faltered as I came to the conclusion all too quickly, and I glanced back at them, a little unwillingly, just in time to see Iruka pull playfully at Kakashi's silver hair with a silly grin on his face. Oh yes, they were definitely shagging.

I did my best to push that slightly discomforting thought out of my head as I told the girl behind the coffee-machine their orders, and took a quick look at the time. Excellent, time to knock off. I headed out to the back to change my shirt and was just coming back out into the shop when Gaara walked in… flanked by Neji and Sakura.

_Run_! Screamed the sensible part of my mind, but I was frozen to the spot. All three of them. Together. Walking towards me. Smirking. Oh, dear God.

"Sasuke, hey!" Damn you, Sakura! Why are you here?

I mumbled a response and went to start walking, but Gaara and Neji moved to stand either side of her, effectively blocking my path. What, now they were ganging up on me?

"Yo, Uchiha."

I glared at Gaara. It was all his doing, I could tell. He brought them here to have an 'innocent chat' about a certain blonde and myself. Ooh, that sneaky devil.

"Looks like we're right on time," Neji observed. I turned my cold gaze on him, even though I knew it was useless. He, Gaara and I were all on a par with death glares.

Sakura grabbed my hand and it took all my effort not to look disgusted. I didn't like where this was going. At all. Gaara was doing that familiar oh-I-am-going-to-thoroughly-enjoy-this look, Neji was as cool as ever, and Sakura had this sickly sweet smile that was just oozing deception. I know I said I would talk to Gaara, but I'd already decided that I would just put my behaviour down to being confused about Naruto because I caught him looking at Kiba funny in sport the other day. Not a complete lie.

I pulled my hand away forcefully, glaring my worst at them all in turn. Sakura visibly flinched, but, as expected, the other two just stared blankly back at me.

"What are you all doing here?" When afraid and unwilling to show it, feigning stupidity is always a good option.

Saukura batted her eyelashes and reached out for my hand again, at the same time as holding up a small basket she had in her hand. "We brought food," she said.

"I've already eaten."

She dropped the fake sweetness at last and yanked my hand from my side, all but dragging me out of the café and onto the footpath outside. I didn't need eyes on the back of my head to see Gaara and Neji's smirks from here.

"We need to talk, Uchiha, and there's nothing you can do about it."

I bit down my surprise at Sakura's use of my last name, and turned a cold eye on her. "Wrong," and gave her a decent view of my back as I walked away down the street. If I didn't want to talk to them then I wouldn't, simple as that.

Oh-hokay, with the exception of when Gaara gets that murderous glint in his eye. That, and I am not afraid to admit it, is one of the very few things that can scare me into doing something. And when he suddenly appeared in front of me with a finger poked determinedly into my chest, it worked.

"Uchiha, you're coming with us. _Now_."

Yes, sir, I inwardly saluted. I growled deep in my throat and whirled around, only to be caught on each side by Sakura and Neji and steered in the direction of the park where Naruto had kissed me last time I was there. Was I going to refer to it as that now? Just because of one confused little kiss?

I was lead in an angry silence towards a small clearing amid the trees, I assumed so we wouldn't be disturbed, and sat down heavily.

"What do you want?"

Neji shrugged. "Just to have a chat. Can't friends do that?"

I scowled and refused the biscuit Sakura passed me. I would sit with them, but I wouldn't talk and I sure as hell wouldn't eat their food. Despite the girl's determined attempts. Even though that nudging was getting really annoying.

I swiped her hand away with an angry grunt and tried to settle my stomach. They all had this manic look in their eyes that said they were about to do something big, and to be honest, I was just a little apprehensive. Not scared, just nervous at what the hell could get them so worked up. No one except me, Kiba and Shikamaru knew about Naruto's current confused state, so it couldn't be that.

Maybe Sakura was going to let me in on her plan. She was going to formulate some wicked scheme to get me and Naruto together. Sure, I wanted him, but I didn't want her any more involved than she already was. Granted, her being the dobe's girlfriend did complicate things somewhat, but she'd said she was only in it for me, and thanks to Shikamaru I'd realised how she was doing exactly that. But no, she couldn't be letting me in on it. All her plans made sure that both parties involved had no idea what was happening… So it was something else… they were trying to get something out of me. They already knew I liked him, what else could they want to know?

Sasuke, stop thinking before your head explodes.

I grew steadily wary as the afternoon picnic wore on and it really did look like all they wanted was to spend time together as friends, but I knew there was something else happening, and I would just have to wait it out. I didn't say much, I was too busy analysing their facial expressions as they had silent conversations about when they should spring their plan upon me.

Just when I was about to force it out of them, Gaara turned to me with his deadpan expression and said bluntly, "How's Naruto?"

Expecting the question, I didn't even blink as I said, "Fine, I'm guessing."

Sakura smiled at me from over the basket and finished her mouthful before saying, "We saw you walk home with him yesterday."

Crap. "Hn."

"So…? Any gossip?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "We're not all talkers like you, Haruno."

She knew I was pissed when I used her last name, but she refused to be deterred. "Oh, so something _did_ happen, then?"

Hell yes something happened, but there's no way I'm telling you. "Several things happened; it depends on what kind of thing you're after."

"Cut the crap, Uchiha." Now it was Neji's turn to talk. I looked at him expectantly, but he didn't say anything else.

I actually did roll my eyes this time. "Well, if you're not going to tell me why you dragged me here against my will, I have an insane brother to check up on." I went to stand up but Gaara caught my arm in his iron grip, preventing me from going any further.

"You're staying right here until we sort this out."

"If you actually tell me what we need to 'sort out', then we might get this over with a lot quicker."

Sakura seemed to take this as her cue, and suddenly jumped to her feet. "Right then! Uchiha Sasuke, you are currently infatuated with Uzumaki Naruto, right?"

Bah, I wouldn't go so far as to say _infatuated_, but I was very much in like with the boy, yes. I answered her question with a question of my own.

"And you are currently dating him, right?"

She huffed and rolled her eyes. "We've been over this already. So, you like Naruto, but you haven't told him yet. Why?"

"One – he likes girls. Two – he is currently dating a girl. Three – we've only been friends for a week and four – that might scare him just a little."

Neji cut in. "Okay then, one – he doesn't like girls. Two – Sakura has already explained the dating situation. Three – that's a pathetic excuse and the same applies to four."

I barely heard his answers after the first one, I was that shocked. What the hell? Had they been spying when Naruto talked to me? Did they keep tabs on him? I thought Kiba might have spilled, but soon told myself off for being so stupid. The only person Kiba would dare tell would be Shino, and Shino _never_ told secrets. He always said it wasn't his place. Mostly though, he just didn't talk. So how did they find out?

Not wanting to give anything away unless they were just assuming about his sexuality, I said cautiously, "What do you mean, 'he doesn't like girls'?"

Sakura looked down at me with her are-you-_really_-that-stupid expression. "Are you _really_ that stupid?" She asked. Hn, no surprises there.

"I'm sorry, Sakura, but in case you hadn't noticed, he's been quite willingly going out with you for the past three weeks and had been chasing you for a good three years before that. So forgive me for thinking he's straight! I don't want to tell him I like him, all right? You aren't quite getting the entire picture from the sidelines, so don't tell me what I should or shouldn't be doing!"

I couldn't help it – I let a lot of my anger into my voice. They thought they could just whisk me away under the pretence of having a nice friendly picnic (even though I knew their ulterior motives) and then spring a series of questions on me and accuse me of being completely blind to a boy's sexuality? They thought they could tell me off for not telling him how I feel yet, and say that my reasons were pathetic?

I scowled at them all in turn and got to my feet, hunching my shoulders and slouching away. I heard light feet behind me but I didn't stop. Sakura fell into step beside me and through my hair I could see she looked sorry.

I tried my best to ignore her, but I could tell when she felt really crap about something, and I hate to say that this was one of those times. Her voice was quiet when she eventually spoke, and by that time we were in the main area of the park by the swings.

"That was pretty rotten of me, Sasuke."

Yeah, no shit. I sat down on a swing and looked at the ground until I realised how pathetic I must seem, and snapped my head up to glare at her full force. I got a sick pleasure at how she shrank back just a little, and her voice got even quieter.

"He never shuts up about you, you know? Always going on about what a 'stupid teme' you are. And he thinks I haven't noticed the way he looks about for you in the mornings when we get to school, or how much more alert he is when you're around. You might say it's just because you keep each other on your toes, but I know there's an affection there that he's yet to figure out. It's funny, really, that when I finally start to return the feelings for him, he finds someone else."

I felt my mask slipping as a tiny tear slipped down her cheek, and before I knew what I was doing I was hugging her. She seemed just as shocked as me, and it was a moment before she relaxed and returned the gesture.

"I just… I just want him to realise that you're there and it's okay to like you in that way, despite your history and what anyone else says. I asked him out for my own selfish reasons, but mainly because I'd noticed the way he looks at you, and I wanted to support him when the realisation dawned, and to help him along a little."

She laughed softly in my arms and I let her go so I could look her in the eyes. Her nose was a little red and her eyes slightly puffy, but she didn't look so sad any more.

"Thanks for the idea, Sakura, but I don't want him forced on me like he was at the party. I want him to come to me of my own accord, and for him to know that what he's doing is right…" I said to her, making sure to keep eye contact. Then I had another thought. "It might not even be me that he wants, but if I have to be the one to make the damn dobe realise he'd rather take it up the arse, then so be it."

Well, that was a rare moment of vocalised humour from me.

She laughed a little nervously and sniffed, nodding. My mask had been gone for far too long, so I put it back in place just as Gaara and Neji came through the trees. I scowled at them both, touched Sakura lightly on the arm and stalked away.

Well, hopefully there would be no more understanding smirks thrown across the table at lunchtime now.

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Naruto seemed determined to completely ignore whatever happened on Friday, and I was silently thankful. Gaara and Neji already suspected that something had gone on, and if Naruto had been embarrassed it would have been a dead give away. He even hit me in English, which was a nice touch. Although it was very game of him, because he instantly got a mini-ruler in the back of the head instead of a measly little pen.

I'd just smirked at him and carried on with staring at my paper like it was about to announce the meaning of life and why I existed. But it seemed he just couldn't stay away from me, and for the rest of the week we were thrown into lunchtime detentions together after being scolded by teachers and told to grow up. Pah.

So I was walking home one day, trying hard to suppress the spring in my step after I'd had yet another detention with Naruto because he simply couldn't resist the urge to smack me in the head with his ruler, when I saw a dark coloured envelope sticking out of the letterbox.

I approached it cautiously, aware that the only letters Itachi and I ever received were bills, warnings that we hadn't paid our bills, and notifications that either the gas, electricity or phone had been temporarily cut off. A dark blue envelope could only mean one thing – our parents.

I swore loudly at the same time as thanking whatever supreme ruler thing up in the sky that I was home before Itachi for once (last time he got the letter first, and promptly ate it), and yanked the letter out, ignoring the white envelopes that would be the bills.

I flipped it over and, sure enough, was met with our parent's address.

Shit.

I walked inside, shutting the door behind me with a foreboding _snap_ and threw my bag down next to the couch, kicking off my shoes as I did so. I walked down the short hallway and into my room, sitting heavily on my bed and taking a wild guess at what would be in there.

It would either be a plea to come and live with them because they feared for my life, or asking if I'd found a nice girl yet. No matter how many times I told them I was gay, they refused to acknowledge it and kept referring to it as my 'phase'.

I looked at the envelope, debating whether or not I should open it, when I was saved by the doorbell. I threw it in my desk drawer and hopped off my bed, making my way down the hall at a leisurely pace. Who was – oh, Gaara.

I stood in the doorway and blocked the entrance as he tried to walk in. He looked up at me with an odd expression, then blinked slowly, seemingly composing himself.

"We were being crap before."

I raised my eyebrows. That was as close to an apology as I would get, but still… I slammed the door in his face and said through the wood, "Piss off, Sabaku," which was as close as he would get to me accepting the apology.

I heard him sigh and turn away down the steps, and let myself give a little grin. There were always benefits to having someone wanting your forgiveness, now I just needed a way to use it.

The letter forgotten for the time being, I headed into the kitchen just as Itachi shouted out "Tadaima!" from the front door. I heard him kick off his shoes and slouch down the short hallway, and noticed there were two sets of footsteps. I gave a slight shudder.

Kisame was here. That kid was just downright freaky. His eyes were all… small, and he had these odd scars on his face and this hair that stuck up crazily and in certain lights his skin was so pale that it looked blue. He had this obsession with sharks that had rubbed off on my brother somewhat, and he was just… erk! Really, I was always at a loss when it came describing how he made me feel. All skittish and like I'd done something wrong but was yet to find out what.

I grabbed an apple and headed to my room, thoughts drifting back to the letter in my desk. I'd have to reply eventually, but I couldn't bring myself to even open it. Eh, I'd do it eventually.

I closed my door quietly, mildly concerned that there was absolutely no noise coming from Itachi's room, and settled down against my pillows. I took a bite of the apple and grinned. I love it when you get a good apple. They can be so dodgy sometimes.

When I realised I was smiling over an apple of all things, I let my mind wander to Naruto, who would definitely do something as idiotic as that. Shikamaru said to give him time, so that was what I had to do. Gotta trust the genius.

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**(1)** Think about it, they're adorable –squee- 

Sorry for making this pretty much a nothing chapter, but the next ones will be much better, promise. Don't yell at me! -puppy eyes- Double update next time XD. Get the reviews in and I'll put it up as quick as I can.

Oh, and the letter will come into it eventually. It's mainly there so I can use it in the last chapter, but it'll weave it's way in after a few chapters.

And I just realised this story is going to be about 20 chapters, but they'll get together soon enough, don't worry. I won't make you wait that long! Hah, I just told you what's going to happen... Feh, 'sif you didn't already know. Anyway, review!

WY  



	8. Wandering Limbs And Failing Brains pt1

Hello, my lucky little readers! This chapter is a whopping 12 pages! That's really long for me. It's to make up for the first few being so short. I know it's not as funny compared to the others, but I do like the bit where Sasuke has a hissy fit. Eehehe, read on and ye shall find out XD Time for some scary Itachi! Eee!

Considering I was bombarded with 12 reviews in one day for the last chapter, i figured I'd be nice and put this one up now. Double update for you, you lucky things. I sorta had to do it in two parts because they follow on together really closely, and it reads better without a giant gap in between.

Hope you enjoy it, and don't forget to review!

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

* * *

8. WANDERING LIMBS AND FAILING BRAINS pt.1

A month. A whole month and not a single word from Naruto. Well, that wasn't strictly true. We'd shared several words, entire conversations even, just not about what we both wanted to talk about. It was that stupid situation where we were both skirting around the subject but knew it would inevitably come up, but neither of us were game enough to start it. So we just kept going round in circles and avoiding it, and whenever it seemed like a perfect time to talk, we'd make an excuse and leave.

Man, when Shikamaru said 'some time', I thought he meant a couple of weeks! But, I had to keep reminding myself, he was Naruto, and he was going through a tough time at the moment. He would have to do some thinking (which was something he'd never excelled at), probably some experimenting (I would gladly help out), sort out what he really wanted (me, I tell you!), figure out how it would affect his life (more like sex-life), and then have to come to terms with whatever his conclusion was.

So, when all that added together, I had a good four or five months ahead of me with a terribly confused Naruto and a shit load of waiting. _Great_. I figured he was probably at the thinking stage still, as slow as he was. I couldn't wait for the next stage… mind out of the gutter, Sasuke… _out_ of the gutter.

Right now, though, I was lying on my back in the park with Shikamaru, staring at cloud formations, and I was bitching. Oh, how I love to bitch, and no one's getting any prizes if they guess who it's about.

Naruto was taking over my life, seriously. Every time I saw a blonde in the street, my heart would give a little jump and I'd immediately think it was Naruto, when I got ready for school in the mornings I would try and change my appearance a little so that he'd notice me, when someone laughed at something stupid I'd find myself wondering if Naruto would think it was funny. I used every trick I knew to land us in detention together and sometimes made excuses to walk him home, hell, I even sat next to him in class sometimes. The sky reminded me of his stupidly bright blue eyes, and even bloody_oranges_ made me think of him.

I voiced all this to Shikamaru, who sighed, yawned, stretched, kept his eyes closed and said nothing. Bloody hell, this kid brought laziness to all new levels! I grunted in frustration and rolled onto my side to elbow him in the gut.

His eyes flew open and he glared at me. Well, if it could be called that. It was more of a slight narrowing of the eyes while the rest of his expression clearly said that he was cursing the effort it used to just do that. Not very effective, when it all came down to it.

"What the hell was that for?"

"Ignoring me," I stated simply.

He rolled his eyes and laid his back down in the grass, watching an odd-shaped cloud drift by. "You know, sometimes I really regret chasing after you when you went mad."

"Hn."

"No worries."

I didn't say anything for a little while, but I was itching to know what he thought. He was the only person I really let my guard down around, and he was going to pay the price of being nice to me and making me trust him against my will. I opened my mouth to speak, but he must have heard my intake of air or something, because he cut me off before I could say anything.

"Sasuke."

"Hm?"

"Shut up and let me relax."

I couldn't bite back the snort. "If you were any more relaxed you'd be comatose." (1)

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I glanced around the locker area, searching for either a pineapple-head or a red-head. I found neither, and scowled at no one in particular. Something must have happened – they never left without me.

"Yo, Sasuke!"

I spun around, trying not to do it too fast and lose my balance. So undignified. I recognised that voice – duh, who couldn't? A little voice in the back of my mind whispered that Gaara and Shikamaru knew Naruto wanted to talk to me, and had scrambled to get out of our way. I wouldn't put it past Gaara, who I had eventually forgiven for being an arse along with Neji, but Shikamaru wouldn't. He'd say it was too 'troublesome' to get involved. I kept my face impassive as the blonde bounded up to me with a stupid grin on his face, while my inside were doing that familiar scramble to launch themselves out of my mouth.

"What, dobe?"

He shrugged off the insult-come-nickname and threw an arm around my shoulder, squeezing gently. What the hell? I was fighting a losing battle with embarrassment, and wriggled my way out of his grip a little reluctantly. I straightened out my clothes as he shook his head at me with a grin.

"You're so weird," he said.

I failed to see how _I_ was weird when he was the one who wore bright orange all the time and had an obsession with ramen. I didn't bother to point it out to him, though, and instead crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows. Sure, we were pretty much normal friends now, but I didn't drop my cold nature just because I liked someone. Shikamaru was the only one who had the misfortune of seeing any other emotion on my face except blank, bored, cold and I-am-so-much-better-than-you.

Naruto kept walking, not bothering to check if I was following (no need, really), and adjusted his orange bag. Ugh, yes – orange. As I drew level with him he glanced at me sideways, and it may have just been the heat but I swear I saw a blush there. It was gone before I fully registered it, and he turned one of his million-dollar grins on me as he side-stepped a couple of students in his way. I would have pushed them, but hey, that's just me.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Several things, probably."

He rolled his eyes at my evasive answer, which he rightly translated to mean 'nothing'. "Well I'm having all the guys around after school, just for the hell of it. You wanna come?"

Hell yes! I wanted to shout. But I didn't, because that just wouldn't do and it might scare him a little, not to mention the students all around us as we walked out of the school who knew me as the kid who didn't talk much with the insane brother and dead parents. Shouting with glee was something I only did in my head. And so I proceeded to do exactly that and entirely forgot about giving the poor kid an answer.

When I'd said nothing by the time we were out of the school gates and trudging down the hill, he looked at me sort of blankly and said, "Right then, well you coulda just said no. I'll see you tomorrow, teme," and turned left as I went right.

Then I did a double-take and realised how stupid I was.

"Wait, Naruto!" What, I called him by his name out loud? Wow.

He turned around instantly, and I nodded. "I'll be there."

He did that stupid grin and walked back towards me, hands shoved in his pockets, bag slowly slipping off his shoulder. His face was a little flushed from the autumn heat (or was it a blush? …Nah), hair positively _glowing_ in the sun, loose orange t-shirt flapping in the slight breeze, black shorts probably absorbing all the heat there was and black chucks not doing much better.

But still, the picture of perfection. My mind promptly turned to mush as my face remained blank, and he flashed me another one of _those_ smiles. The smile that no doubt eventually won him Sakura's heart. Oh yes, they were still going out, the clueless fools. Well, one was clueless; the other was a wonderfully manipulative bitch. But in a good way.

"Great! We're all walking home together –"

I shook my head. "I'll have to go home and check on Itachi before I go anywhere."

His face fell and I resisted the sudden strong urge to ruffle his hair. The sadness was almost immediately gone, however, and he grinned at me again.

"Ah well, come by whenever then – we'll be there."

I nodded and turned, raising a hand over my shoulder in farewell without looking back. When I was safely across the road and around the corner, I stopped, breathed deeply, and smirked.

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Itachi was rocking back and forth on the couch when I came in, so I closed the door quietly, put my bag down softly, took off my shoes silently, and padded my way over to him. He didn't look up as I sat down next to him, or as I pried his fingers away from his knees.

"Okay, Itachi, calm down."

He looked at me then, his eyes all eerie and bloodshot, and I fought the sudden urge to piss-bolt. It was hard, though. I was in for a rant, and I sure as hell wasn't going to like it.

"Sasuke… I did it. Why did I do it?"

My comforting expression snapped to stone cold. Oh Jesus, he was going into _that_ again. Even though I knew it wasn't true, even though I knew they were perfectly safe, the thing I hated the most about Itachi was his firm belief that he had brutally murdered our parents.

"There… in front… ground. Blood – lots of blood. The screams, Sasuke, the screams!"

He let a bloodcurdling one of his own escape his lips, and I covered my ears. I had to get out of here, seriously. But as I stood, he latched onto my left with a death grip, preventing me from moving any further. He yanked my head around to face him and stared straight into my eyes. I could see my reflection in them, and scowled at how scared I looked.

I tugged at his arms with all I had, but he would never let go when he got like this. He'd pin you down with his eyes until you seriously couldn't move, and there was nothing you could do about it.

"You know they never even begged?" He hissed. I wanted to tell him to shut up, but I couldn't get my vocal chords to cooperate. I stood with my eyes wide, frozen, his fingernails slowly cutting into my skin. I tried to make my right hand obey and smack him one right in the eye, but that wouldn't cooperate either.

"The only thing they said was to spare you, so I did. But you found me – you saw what I did. Their bodies, father sprawled on top of mother, their blood pooling around them. Beautiful, wasn't it?"

I found the courage to shake my head, and my breath started coming out in ragged gasps as the tiny cuts on my arm began to bleed. He felt it and looked down, and as his eyes widened I reckon my heart completely stopped.

The worst thing for him to see when he was in this state was blood. The idea that he could very well kill me in an instant kick-started my nervous system and granted my right arm permission to move. I balled my hand into a fist just as he licked his lips and looked at me hungrily, and punched him right in the jaw.

He staggered back, his grip loosening slightly on my arm, and I took the opportunity to yank it away. I started talking then, about absolutely anything that came to mind, just so that he would have something else to focus on other than the blood on his fingernails and his little brother standing in front of him trying his utmost not to shit his pants.

"You know it was the hottest autumn day on record, today? Yeah, crazy, huh - being closer to winter and all. Naruto was wearing orange today – he always wears orange. Shikamaru still looks like a pineapple. You don't like pineapple, do you? No, I remember that you spat it out at me once when I tried to give you some. You know you used to hit me on the forehead with your first two fingers? Shit, that hurt. Kinda like today when I slipped in cooking and dropped the knife on my foot. Lucky it was just the handle, though. Sensei said I was an idiot and slapped me upside in the head. Not a very teacherly way to do things, eh? So, what are you doing tomorrow? Is Kisame coming around? I'm not gonna be here, so I don't care. Why don't – Itachi?"

He blinked at me, eyes returning to normal, and looked honestly confused. He stared at me for a little while, eyes drifting down to the finger marks on my arm and the tiny trails of blood. He took in my dazed/scared shitless expression and closed his eyes.

"Oh, shit, bro. I'm sorry."

I shrugged and straightened out my clothes.

"Was I really that scary?"

I scowled. I didn't look _that_ scared… Okay, I did – whatever. But still, he didn't have to mention it. He was an Uchiha too, and he knew how much pride mattered.

"I don't want you to talk about it. Ever."

He sat back on the couch and began biting his thumbnail. He gave an absent nod, understanding what he'd done and knowing I hated it. I went along with the whole 'dead' thing, though, and that's why he thought I couldn't stand it when he went mental and talked about them. In truth, I just hated the look in his eyes. Sometimes he would just stare at you and you'd be stuck, completely unable to move as he went through every gruesome detail of the murder that never happened, calling all these images into your mind that you just couldn't push away no matter how hard you tried, going around and around and around in your head.

Then his mood changed again, and he grinned at me. I was expecting it though – it always happened. He'd have an episode, remember nothing, apologise, forget that too, and then go through a range of mood swings. I was just lucky that today he was ridiculously happy.

"So, bro, whatcha doing tonight?"

I acted as normally as I could. If he didn't remember any of it, it wasn't wise of me to look like anything had happened – that would just confuse him to no end, which was definitely not a wise move. Hopefully he wouldn't notice my arm. Just in case, I hurriedly shoved it behind my back.

"I'm going to Naruto's with –"

He cut me off with a wolf-whistle. So he couldn't remember what he'd been doing in the past five minutes, but he could remember our conversation from over a month back. Right…

"So, gonna hook in or what?" He asked, throwing an arm around my shoulders with a stupid grin as he stood up off the couch.

I shrugged him off and walked towards my room. Just before I slammed the door, I raised an eyebrow at him and left the question unanswered. Well, I didn't want to tell him, and I didn't want to lie. Silence was my best option.

I was about to pack my stuff when I realised that there'd be no point unless I made sure Itachi would be all right, so I walked back out and came face to face with him, complete with an all-too-knowing smirk and a twenty dollar note.

I eyed the money suspiciously but took it anyway, not one to pass up easy cash. He waggled his eyebrows in a creepy Lee-like fashion and gave an uncharacteristic chuckle.

"Use it wisely, little bro, you know – in case you, uh, _need_ something."

I nodded warily and pocketed it, waiting for him to elaborate.

"Just remember though; do it safely, yeah?"

I blinked, it clicked, and I resisted the overwhelming desire to get him in the jaw again, exactly where the bruise was already forming from not five minutes ago. I fought it down and raised my eyebrows at him instead. It definitely wasn't the time to pick a fight, confuse him, or ignore him when he was being nice, especially since his mind probably still recovering from its last shock.

So I said through gritted teeth, "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

He winked, made this weird clicking noise with his tongue, and strode proudly down the hall and into the kitchen. I followed him, still fighting the urges, and grabbed and apple out of the bowl.

"So you reckon you'll be all right on your own?"

Itachi glanced down at his fingernails and frowned, washing them under the sink. I made sure to hide my arm under the bench, still not wanting him to realise he'd hurt me. That'd send him into panic mode and I _really_ didn't need that right now.

"Yeah, I should be fine. Kisame's coming over and he knows what to do."

I shuddered inwardly. Man, I was glad I'd be out of the house for the night. I took a bite of the apple, gagged, threw it in the bin and stood up. Damn apples. I grimaced as I chewed and swallowed my bite, heading into my room as I shouted over my shoulder, "Well, if you're sure. I'll just pack my stuff then I'm going."

"Okay, whatever."

Once in my room I closed the door quietly and leaned against it, sighing heavily. Suddenly I didn't feel like going to Naruto's. I didn't want to deal with all those people at the moment – it was practically our whole group, due to most of us being guys. Still, I knew I'd regret it if I didn't go, so I pushed away the disturbing images my mind seemed determined to show me and grabbed my bag.

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I rang the doorbell, my stomach squirming to the point where I felt the overwhelming need to throw up everything it contained. Oh, God, what was I doing? I couldn't tell if I was nervous about tonight, worried for Itachi or still feeling sick from what he did. I seriously shouldn't have been leaving an insane family member at home, but Kisame could look after him. It was the only thing I knew I could trust him with, actually. He'd been friends with my brother for God knows how long, and he understood him as well as I did.

And I had a right to be sick after what Itachi had done. Jeez, I so shouldn't be here. I couldn't handle people at the moment. I needed to take a long walk in the park, stare at some clouds maybe, eat chocolate and yes, I even needed to talk to Sakura.

I always turned to her when my brother went nuts and Shikamaru was unavailable. They were the only ones who knew the full story. Everyone just assumed that my parents were dead because they'd heard Itachi mention it a couple of times and I'd never denied it.

I was about to turn around and head for the park when the door opened and Kiba bounded out of it. I was a little surprised, expecting Naruto, but really, they weren't much different.

"Yo, Sasuke! Come in, Naruto and Sai are just getting some food."

I raised my eyebrows as I stepped inside, and he laughed, understanding my look.

"Yes, ramen, sadly."

"Hn," was all I said. No doubt Naruto would get to Ichiraku's, eat two bowls, get one for each of us to bring home, get another three for himself and eat one on the way home. No I don't stalk him; I just know how his mind works.

I followed Kiba's instructions and dumped my bag in Naruto's room with the others after Lee directed me to his room. I'd never been here before, so I looked around in wonder as I walked down the enormous hallway, turned right, kept walking down said enormous hallway and eventually came to Naruto's room. Really, being the principal and married to a successful author (no matter how perverted) must have paid off. It wasn't an especially huge house, but it was definitely big enough. Turns out they looked after a few people here, anyway. Naruto's uncle Orochimaru and Tsunade's right-hand woman (also school vice-principal), Shizune, lived here as well. Orochimaru was the head of some big-shot company, and so his assistant Kabuto lived here too.

Once again, I didn't stalk Naruto – Lee told me everything. He talked and talked and talked as I snuck glances either side of me, through doorways that led into more rooms. I saw a library (probably filled with porn if it belonged to Jiraiya), a huge study where some guy with silver hair and glasses was pouring over documents (in my mind I shouted, '_Nerd_!'), what looked like a personal gym (probably Tsunade's – that woman was tank), a couple of empty rooms, some closed doors, and finally Naruto's room.

The first thing I noticed was that not a single thing was orange. I 'hn'ed in surprise and chucked my bag on the floor beside the many others, glancing around quickly before Lee ushered me out and led me back the way we came.

All I could take in was a double bed with a dark green – almost black – bedspread, sort of off-white walls, all sorts of weird things stuck on his wall, like photos, posters, drawings, tickets, tags and stuff, and a couple of family photos on a dark wooden desk with numerous articles of clothing thrown underneath it.

Nice method of cleaning, dobe.

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"Oh, no _way_! You so can't do that!"

I snorted. "I so can, dobe."

"And don't call me that, teme."

"I'll do what I like, _dobe_."

"You stupid – _what_?!" He all but screeched the last word, and everyone laughed as he fell off the platform.

He threw the controller, Sakura-style, and folded his arms against his chest. I'd like to say he wasn't wearing anything orange, and to be honest that's what I thought when he and Sai walked in with the ramen, but he was. Denim shorts and a light grey t-shirt was all good and well, but he had some stupid orange headband thing on. I didn't even know why – it wasn't like his hair could fall in front of his eyes, anyway. Sure, he normally had a blue band on, but that was at school, and a fair few of the guys wore them as a sort of mark to show where they attended, me included. But he was at home now, and there was no reason for him to be wearing it.

Before I even knew what I was doing, I'd handed the controller to Sai, who was next in line, reached up, and yanked the thing off his head. I paused for a moment to admire how good his hair looked when it was all messed up like that, then looked down at my hand where the orange atrocity was dangling.

Huh, that was a bit of a surprise.

Naruto blinked for a couple of seconds before he realised what was missing, and lunged for it.

"Teme, give it!"

I smirked and stood up, holding it higher. He launched himself off the couch, tripped over Gaara's conveniently outstretched foot and collided with me, but luckily Lee was just coming back from the bathroom at that point and caught me just in time, letting Naruto crash to the floor in an angry heap.

I snorted at him and tied the band around my wrist. Wait, I did _what_? I looked down at the orange thing on my wrist in mild shock. Orange so wasn't my colour. But still, it pissed Naruto off, so it was bound to be good.

I sat back down with my back against the arm of the couch and watched with mild amusement as Sai swore very loudly and was killed by a little pink ball with feet that I believe goes by the name of Kirby, controlled by Choji.

I was surprised at the avid-eater's choice of characters, to be honest. Everyone else chose predictable characters – you know, Naruto and Kiba choosing big bad Donkey Kong and all that. Me? Well, I'd always had a little soft spot for Link. I mean come on, gorgeous much? And that spinny sword thing was cool… sure… -cough-. (2)

Several rounds and many ramen bowls later, everyone was pissed off at someone else for beating them, and the sun had well past set. Tsunade and Jiraiya came in for a little while and left, and Kabuto (the nerd I saw earlier in the study) left with Orochimaru not long after. No one knew where Shizune was, but Tsunade said she wouldn't be back for at least a couple of days. So we had the whole house to ourselves and Lee and Naruto were making full use of it.

They could be heard shouting from numerous rooms, amid loud thumps and the occasional tinkle of broken glass. Gaara went to check on them at one point, and confirmed that they were seeing if they could fight in every room in the house. It was entertaining for a little while, but once they came back completely drained of energy and severely lacking air, it got a little boring. There was only so much Nintendo a bunch of teenagers could handle for one night.

We sat and talked for a while – well, Gaara, Neji, Shino, Shikamaru and I listened while the rest of them yabbered about all sorts of meaningless crap animatedly. When I saw Shikamaru slowly nodding off, I cut across Choji and said, "Guys, can we do something?"

They all turned to look at me like I'd give them the answers to everything, and I held up my hands. "I dunno, its Naruto's house, not mine."

Naruto's thoughtful look turned into a wide grin and he suddenly jumped up. "Follow me!" he shouted, vaulting over the back of the couch and racing off through the double doors and into the hallway. I sat with Shikamaru for a moment longer than everybody else, and sighed along with him.

"He has far too much energy," Shikamaru said, shaking his head.

I grunted in agreement and stood up, waiting for him to do the same. When he didn't, I grabbed both his shoulders and forced him up with me.

"Come on, lazy-arse, don't be rude."

He was about to give me some smart-arse retort when Neji stuck his head around the doorway and said, "Oi, you guys coming?"

We nodded and followed him down the hall, coming to the intersection where right meant Naruto's room and left meant another big adventure. We chose to go on an adventure, and soon came out onto an enormous deck, surrounded by all a manner of flowers and shrubs. There was a water fountain here and there, and the outdoor lights cast this sort of orange/yellow glow over everything in the night. But my gaze was instantly drawn to where all the shouts of glee were coming from. A pool. A freaking _enormous_ pool. Bang smack in the middle of the backyard, just off from the edge of the deck.

_Shit_, was my initial thought. Well, a slightly ruder word, actually, but I try to keep my unnecessary cursing down to a minimum.

It was a beautiful pool, really. All curvy lines and deep blue water. I reckon I could've gone the total of twice my height below the water and still not touched the bottom - which would explain why they were all dive-bombing in and not coming up bleeding from a severe head wound.

Sai was sitting on the edge, staring into the water mistrustingly, Naruto was just about to launch himself in, Choji was already under, I couldn't see Lee anywhere and assumed he was underwater somewhere, and Kiba was attempting to undress Shino at the side of the pool, already drenched himself.

"Come on, no one cares what you look like – just jump in."

"No, Kiba, I don't want to."

"Please?" A pout. Hah, won't work on an Aburame, kiddo.

"No." Told ya.

"… What if I make it up to you… _later_?"

I've never seen anyone get undressed and into the water that fast in my life.

I smirked as Kiba dived after Shino with a burst of laughter, both coming up with their hair plastered to their foreheads. I walked over to the shallow end and sat with Shikamaru on the ledge, copying him and dangling my feet in the warm water. Neji and Gaara were on the other side, and Sai had finally mustered up the courage to get his clothes wet, and was gripping onto the side near them for dear life.

"Teme, you gonna come in?"

I glanced over to Naruto on the other side of the pool and shook my head firmly. Oh, no _way_ was I getting in there.

He swam over to my place on the edge of the pool and I stood up warily. There were several things going through my mind at that moment, but the only remotely coherent things I could come up with were 'Naruto', 'shirtless', 'tanned', 'wet' and 'sexy as hell'. I desperately battled the blush and determinedly looked at the ground. As I did so I noticed that Shikamaru was lying on his back, completely unaware of the danger he was in. I suddenly had a thought, smirked, and raised an eyebrow at Naruto, who winked at me and nodded.

At exactly the same moment, I grabbed Shikamaru's arms and Naruto yanked his feet, pulling him into the water with a yelp and a loud splash. I let slip a small laugh as Naruto simply howled. I couldn't help it – his laughter was contagious.

"Ugh, such a drag. Thanks, guys."

"Oh, isn't it just _troublesome_, Shika my man?" Choji surprised us by popping out of the water with a silly grin.

Shikamaru scowled at him and pulled his hair out of its tie, scraping it away from his forehead. I did a double take – I'd never seen him with his hair out before, and in all honesty, he looked good. It looked black when it was wet, and when he raked his hands through it it came out in thin clumps that looked a bit like dreads.

Naruto obviously noticed, because he said with a little awe, "Man, you should wear your hair out more often. Seriously."

"And get dreads," I couldn't help but add.

Naruto glanced at me and smiled, then looked down at the water with an intense blush on his cheeks. What?

Shikamaru sighed. "No, too much hassle."

We all rolled our eyes.

"Of course, why didn't we think of that?" I said sarcastically.

Shikamaru pushed off the wall with a huff and left with Choji, going over to talk with Sai, who was still gripping onto the ledge as if his life depended on it. That left me and Naruto. I took another step back from the ledge, knowing full well that he could quite easily yank my legs out from under me and drag me into the water. That wouldn't be ideal. My hair would get wet.

"Come on, teme, you have to get in. Everyone else is."

I looked across to the opposite side of the pool and nodded at Gaara and Neji, sitting quite contentedly on the edge and chatting away. Naruto followed my gaze and shrugged, saying smugly, "Nah, won't last long."

Sure enough, as I looked up again Lee and Kiba were sneaking up behind the two, and were only noticed when it was too late. With a shout and several choice swear words, both boys were sent tumbling into the water fully clothed, much like Shikamaru before them.

I actually did laugh then. I hadn't seen anything that satisfying in a _long_ time, and I felt instantly better. Tonight I was out with friends, I didn't have to worry about anything. Kisame was looking after Itachi and he hadn't called in desperate need of me, so I could relax. Everyone else was having fun, so why couldn't I?

I glanced down at Naruto again, tried and failed to ignore how gorgeous he was, and tossed up whether having fun was worth wrecking my hair. Believe it or not, it took ages to do in the mornings.

Suddenly my feet were very warm at the same time as very cold, and I looked down in surprise to see they were dripping wet, along with the bottom of my shorts. I scowled up at Naruto, who just grinned at me in return and splashed me again.

"Quit it. I don't have anything to swim in," I stated simply, stepping back further. It was a poor excuse, I know, but still.

He scoffed. "'Sif that matters! Just go in in your clothes."

I looked down at my denim shorts – they'd take _ages_ to dry. I was about to say just that when Naruto interrupted me with, "I've got heaps of spare clothes so don't stress about the shorts, and just take off everything else."

I blinked. Everything? That would mean my t-shirt… oh, God. I would be topless in the pool with an equally topless Naruto. I felt myself go a little giddy at the thought, and wasn't helped at all when Naruto said, "Look, you either take your top off and jump in or I get out, take it off for you and push you in."

I raised my eyebrows at him as my mind went through a series of scenarios involving Naruto removing my clothing. _Really_ not the right thing to be thinking about when he was right in front of me.

"Fine," I managed to mutter. I quickly turned around and walked back towards the house where the deck chairs were and took a deep breath. Calm, Sasuke, ignore the images. Great, that just brought them all back. I smacked myself in the forehead lightly and made myself think of something gross, like Kakashi and Iruka.

Shit, it didn't help that Kakashi was hot for a teacher. Dammit! Okay… uh, Lee in a dress? … Phew, that worked. Sometimes it's handy to have a not-so-great-looking friend. (3)

I quickly took off my shirt but left Naruto's band around my wrist (just to annoy him), and walked back to the poolside where Naruto was patiently waiting. I was here to have fun, I kept reminding myself. I was allowed to break free just a little, smile once in a while, and maybe even laugh like I did before. I was with friends, I deserved to let go.

I kept that thought in mind as I suddenly took a running leap over Naruto's head and landed with a giant splash into the pool, going deep under the water and propelling myself back up. I broke the surface with a gasp and pushed my hair back, wiping the water out of my eyes and opening them to see everyone staring at me in surprise.

I rolled my eyes. "What? Just 'cos I'm an Uchiha doesn't mean I don't know how to have fun."

They stayed silent, and I was starting to get a little uncomfortable when Naruto popped up beside me and said, "You got me in the eyes. You'll pay for that, teme," and dunked me under.

Suddenly everyone was in on it, even Shino and Shikamaru, and we were all splashing, dunking, shouting, swearing, kicking, double-teaming, throwing – everything. I cried out in shock as I was lifted out of the water and thrown back down, by whom I didn't see, but had the sneaking suspicion it was Neji and Gaara, because when I came back up gasping for air they were wearing these smirks that clearly said 'we got you so good, Uchiha!'

We carried on in this manner, me getting the two shifty buggers back and acquiring several new bruises in the process, but eventually we all got tired and climbed out, flopping onto the deck with huffs and grunts and sighs.

When we were all lying down and staring at the stars in silence, it took me a little while to register exactly what had happened. I'd completely dropped my mask for near on an hour, and had the best time I'd had in years. I let myself be thrown around and elbowed and dunked, and I'd loved it.

I gave a genuine smile then, and looked at the stars with a contented sigh with the rest of them. I felt someone ruffle my hair and glanced at Naruto, who was grinning wildly at me. He gave a quiet chuckle and took his hand a way. I couldn't help feeling a little disappointed.

"You look better when you're smiling," he whispered, making sure no one else heard. I blinked stupidly at him, not trusting myself to say anything in return, and not actually _thinking_ of anything to say. Seriously, how was I meant to reply to that? It was an insult at the same time as a compliment.

It seemed he didn't want an answer though, because he sat up and said loudly, "You guys wanna watch a movie out here?"

With no TV? Nice one, kid. Gaara, ever the pessimist, voiced my thoughts exactly, but Naruto just shrugged it off.

"Nah, there's one in the spare room that we can drag out here. I'm not so great with technical stuff, so one of you will have to hook the DVD player up to it."

There was a general murmur of agreement which I did not partake in, and Kiba and Naruto got up to retrieve the television, no doubt from one of the multiple spare rooms that this house held. They probably had a TV in every room in the house.

"Dobe!" I quickly called out.

He turned to face me just before he stepped into the house. "Yeah?"

I gestured to my shorts, silently asking if I could borrow a pair. I felt very heavy and very wet, and there was already a tiny puddly at my feet from the water dripping off the hem.

He smiled. "Top draw, just chuck them out here afterwards. They should dry."

I nodded, and suddenly remembered Itachi. In the time it took to get from the deck to Naruto's room (I was lucky it was just a straight line, otherwise I was sure I'd have gotten lost), I was positively squirming with dread. I just _knew_ that Itachi would have called while we were in the pool, and I was too busy forgetting I was an Uchiha to think of bringing my phone out with me. What if he was in trouble? What if Kisame didn't come round? Or, if he had, what if Itachi had hurt him?

I stood at the doorway to Naruto's room, staring uneasily down at my bag. I wasn't sure if I could bring myself to check it. If he had rung then I'd feel like shit for forgetting him and have to leave to check on him, and if he hadn't then I'd feel downright stupid. I scolded myself for being a wimp and shoved my hand in my bag, foraging around until it came into contact with my phone, and I yanked it out.

One quick glance at the screen told me I was downright stupid, and I could go and relax again. Damn insane brother, making me worry.

Just to be safe, though, I called him to make sure everything was cool down his end of town.

"Hello?" He sounded calm.

"Hey, bro, how's things?"

"Yeah, fine, the others are keeping me company." Too calm… "All this blood, though, I dunno what I'm gonna do about it."

My breath hitched in my throat and I stammered, "Wh-what? Blood?" Oh, shit no.

"Yeah, there's a fair bit of it, too. And I can't seem to find Kisame…"

He let his voice trail off and it clicked. He was messing with me. Ooh…

"You stupid –swear- prick! You absolute –swear- psycho! When I get home, I'm gonna –swear- kill you and bring you back to –swear- life and –swear- kill you again you –swear- crazy –swear-!"

Or something along those lines, anyway.

His laughter rang down the line and he said, "Sure, lil bro, sure."

I hung up on him, totally furious. That demented little shit! After his episode this afternoon, of course I was gonna freak! I seriously thought he'd killed Kisame – or at least severely injured him, anyway.

I mean, I didn't like the kid, but that didn't mean I wanted him to _die_. Besides, it might entice my brother to kill a couple more people, and that'd just get messy after a while.

I pushed away my anger and breathed deeply, forcing myself to calm down. I may have been pissed, but he was unstable, so basically I had to ignore my own selfish desire to beat him senseless, throttle him, knee him in the groin and leave him out in the rain (if there was any), and look after the nutter.

Life sucks, sometimes.

So I sifted through Naruto's draw until I found a pair of shorts that'd fit and shoved the mobile into my pocket, running my hands through my still wet hair and breathing deeply, making my heart stop trying to break my ribs in it's fright.

That done, I tiptoed through the rest of the bags until I reached Naruto's door. I was just about to walk out into the hall when Kiba's voice floated through from the spare room.

"Well, what are you gonna do?"

There was a pause, a stomping sound, a loud grunt and the dobe's unmistakable voice replying, "Argh! I dunno! I mean, I can't just jump him out of the blue now, can I?"

… Him? _Him_? I high-fived myself, did a jig and squealed like a four year-old girl who just got her first pony. Mentally, of course.

"… wouldn't mind."

"As I said, I dunno if he even likes me. He's always so… blergh."

Naruto was known for his larger-than-average vocabulary. As you can tell.

I didn't have to see Kiba to know he was rolling his eyes and had his arms folded across his chest as he said, "Dude, are you _really_ that thick?" Yes, Kiba, he really is. "Have you _seen_ the way he looks at you? God, it's as obvious as tits on a bull!"

Naruto snorted and I cringed. Trust Dog Boy to use so vulgar an expression.

"You're not so secretive yourself, either, you know. If _I_ can notice it, then I bet he knows too."

Who? Who, dammit! I swear, if there's some other guy –

"Sasuke's just… Sasuke. No one can read him."

Oh, I see. Wait… _What?_ Okay, if I was doing a jig before, now I was taking it away like there was no tomorrow. Me. Me! Naruto wants _me_! Oh, God, if I wasn't an Uchiha with a bastard reputation to uphold, I'd glomp him here and now and have my way with him right there on the floor.

But I was missing the all-important conversation – no time for imaginative wanderings of the naked-Naruto nature.

"The bastard pretence is kinda failing now. Did you see him in the pool?"

"Is that a trick question?"

Kiba laughed. "Good point. You were practically eating him with your eyes."

He was?

"I was not!"

Nope, apparently not… Bah, he so was.

"Pfft, whatevs. More to the point – you want him, he wants you. Want me to lock you in a room together?"

Silence. Yes! My mind screeched.

"I don't even know if I want _him_ in that way yet."

"What do you mean?" Kiba's confusion was clear. I don't think the emphasis on 'him' was lost on the boy either.

There was a brief silence as my heart plummeted and my four-year-old pony squeal faded into a tiny sob. He didn't want me? What? But didn't he just say… ugh. It was to be expected, really. He was slowly getting to the experimenting stage in the 'Am I Gay?' process, so he'd be confused as to what he wants. The confusion would be tenfold because it was Naruto and it took him a good five seconds to process when he was greeted in the mornings, then another five to formulate an answer. Simply put, he was slow. Slower than a turtle in jelly. No joke.

Oh right, back to the conversation.

"…confused, you know?"

Damn, I missed the first part of his answer!

"Yeah, I know." Kiba sighed, sounding much closer than he should have.

Holy crap, they were almost in the hall! No wonder their voices were louder. I quickly whipped out my phone and fiddled with the buttons, making it look like I was just finishing a text when they rounded the corner, Naruto carrying the TV and Kiba with the DVD player and cords.

I looked up as Naruto gave an uncharacteristic squeak and ducked his head. I raised an eyebrow, keeping my face blank.

"Am I really that frightening, dobe?"

I snapped the phone closed and slipped it into my pocket as he looked up, beet red, and stuttered, "Ye - hah - no. I just – well, you know."

I raised another eyebrow to join the other one. "What, stunned by my incredibly good looks?" Oh come on, don't look at me like that – it had to be said.

Naruto positively squirmed beneath my mocking gaze, but Dog Boy saved him.

"Pah, you wish man. Help, would ya?"

I huffed and walked forwards, grabbing one side of the TV to take half the weight from Naruto and curling my pinky into the belt-loop of my shorts so as to carry them both at the same time. Far out it's heavy! Well, might as well make small talk.

"So, how's Sakua?"

Naruto blanked at me. It wasn't the most becoming of expressions, though he seemed to favour it. "Well, uh – I dunno. Good, I guess," he shrugged.

I smirked. "Trouble in paradise?"

"No!" He said, a little too quickly.

Ha! I knew you didn't like her! I ducked my head to hide a rebellious grin and looked at him through my fringe as we walked out onto the deck. In the dull glow of the outside lights I could see that tiny beads of sweat were forming along his brow, and his muscles were clearly defined as he held up the TV.

… Wow. My imagination has made quite a habit of taking an idea and running _very_ far with it. Ngh…

Coherent, Sasuke. Nice.

* * *

**(1)**Baha, my lit teacher said this about the students at my school once. Oh so true P

**(2) **If you can't guess, the game they're playing is Smash Bros 64. Yes, I know 64s are old, but they'll always be cool ) –hopes really hard-

**(3)** Sorry to all you Lee lovers out there, but that bowl cut just really doesn't work for me P

So read on, review this chapter if you think it's worth it or if you're a very nice person.

I feel happy that people like this story.

-wriggle-


	9. Wandering Limbs And Failing Brains pt2

Well hello again, and now for Part 2.

This part's long as well – WOOT! I think its like, 10 pages or something. There's not as much humour though, sorry about that. There's almost two pages straight of angst, but I hope you enjoy it anyway (Naruto and Sasuke sure as hell did). Heh heh heh…

Oh, and just for the record, I haven't seen Wolf Creek and I don't plan to… I've just heard things… -shudder-

Don't expect an update for a little while after this one. I've started catching up with myself and I need to write more. Also I've pretty much used up all our internet for this month, heh.

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

* * *

9. WANDERING LIMBS AND FAILING BRAINS pt.2

The Matrix. Feh. Seen it.

Monty Python? Seen every single one. Yes, I can enjoy a comedy. What, is it so surprising?

Wolf Creek? Oh, shit no! I could handle horror films – it'd weird if I didn't like them, living with my brother and all. He was the perfect candidate for one of them. But I drew the line at Wolf Creek. There was a point where my mind slammed on the brakes, got out of the car and waved its arms around shouting, "Whoa, hold up there! One can only handle so much blood in one night!"

And plus, I didn't think that a gory film would really 'set the mood' as such for Naruto and I. Well, at the moment he was acting no different at all towards me. Sure, I didn't think he knew that I'd overheard almost everything he'd said to Kiba, but he didn't even act like he _had_ said it. He was still ruffling my hair and calling me 'teme' and complaining about my lack of enthusiasm. I have enthusiasm, I just direct it towards other things. Other things being Naruto. And possibly a bed. And maybe even – no, hold up. That's a little _too_ enthusiastic.

I shifted a little uncomfortably on the couch (yes, they have an outdoor living room type thing, all under shelter of course. Man, what _haven't_ they got?) as Shikamaru put The Matrix in the DVD player. Well, at least I wouldn't have to concentrate; I'd seen it that many times. Which left me time to concentrate on other things, such as whether or not Naruto actually liked me or just wanted to get with me. Either way I was happy, but I'd prefer it to mean something.

People usually assume that I'm the kind of person who doesn't like getting attached, who doesn't care what it means as long as I get some action. While that may be true when it comes to Gaara and I having a bit of fun, when I actually like someone it's an entirely different story.

I knew Naruto was confused and I wanted to help him out, but I didn't want to be the first in the long line of guys that he was yet to make out with to discern which sex he preferred.

I didn't mind fooling around for a bit, but I really wanted to know if he understood what it meant to me. Kiba had tried to explain to him, but Naruto's thicker than a double-brick wall when it comes to reading people's feelings, so it was a hopeless case. No matter how obvious I was, he wouldn't know unless I appeared naked in his room and demanded him to have his wicked way with me. Which wouldn't happen. No way. Although…

_Argh! _I hate you, imagination!

I guess fooling around was all I would get at this stage. Maybe if he figured out that he did like guys, then he might start to see me in a different way. What if I just told him straight out? If I just walked up to him out of the blue and said "Naruto, I'm crazy about you and I want to snog you until you can't think straight. Literally," how would that go down? Maybe he'd notice me more? I mean, I know he notices me, but not like that. Not how I notice him every waking minute of the day – and quite often during sleeping hours, too… but let's not go there, shall we?

Even if he knew how I felt, I don't think he'd like me back. I've said it before – we're too opposite. I reckon he'd go for Gaara. I know that he's not much better, but those two have this little connection that Naruto and I are lacking. It's something to do with Naruto having that irritating ability to change everyone around him into better people – me included. I could recognise the signs. And the stupid twat probably didn't even know he was doing it!

He was really affecting me, until the point where he was my personal thought-invader. I'd be doing maths homework and then out of nowhere Naruto would show up and go "Yo, Sasuke! Let's go have some fun!" and I'd swear and curse at him and then give in and my brain would depart into fantasy land while I sat at my desk with my head down trying in vain to drag myself away from him.

He was just so… ugh! Oh no, he was having such an affect on me that I was losing my vocabulary. I needed to get away. But I couldn't, damn him!

Before it was just me and my mind and my dreams, but now he's gone all 'ooo, I might be gay' on me and told Kiba he wants to jump me (oh, please do). So now it's me, my mind, my dreams-possibly-becoming-realities, the emotional confusion of a stupid dobe, and the anticipation of whether I'm a good enough kisser to woo him over to me or not.

Man, are my thoughts going around in circles? I can't even tell. He was sitting next to me, therefore eliminating any further sentences in my mind that had the possibility of making sense. He had that effect on me occasionally.

Lee and Choji were on the armchairs either side of the couch, with Shino and Kiba cuddling on the beanbag. I watched Kiba wriggle deeper into Shino's arm with an inward smile. They really were cute together, and I was glad that Shino had finally found someone who could get through his barrier. Neji, Gaara and Sai were sitting on some cushions on the floor and leaning against the couch where Naruto, Shikamaru and I sat. Naruto in the middle, of course.

I was currently staring blankly at the screen while my brain tried to make a coherent thought. But you know that thing I said before about him not acting any different towards me despite the fact I knew he wanted to make-out with me right here and now? Well that all went out the window as his knee brushed against mine. It was only slight, but my heart went nuts and my brain sort of flinched away, ceasing operation for several seconds before remembering that it was keeping me alive and kicking into gear again.

He didn't move it, just left it there against mine as Neo had a scorpion-like thing yanked out of his belly button.

Should I move my leg away or just ignore it? Maybe – oh-hokay, _that_ I can't ignore. He was moving his leg, rubbing it ever so lightly against mine. Oh _God_. What was he doing? Did he know he was doing it? Did he know how badly it was affecting me?

I felt my breath hitch slightly and forced myself to calm down, try and ignore it and breathe deeply. I failed spectacularly.

I tried to act casual and put my elbow on the armrest, leaning my head against my fist. I curled up my legs beneath me to get rid of the contact and formed a sort of ball amongst the cushions. Okay, maybe not as casual as I would've liked, but still… All right, I was practically shielding myself. But he couldn't just go and rub against my leg! He wasn't a cat!

If he knew how hard it was for me to suppress the urge to pounce on him then I bet he wouldn't have done it. Or he would have, just to watch me squirm. Oh, he so would.

I managed to concentrate on the movie for roughly another half hour until I felt my eyelids grow heavy, and I was seriously fighting sleep. I forced my eyes open as one of the shifty characters ate at a restaurant with another shifty character talking about how the meat wasn't actually real even though he was eating it and his brain was telling him what it tasted like but really it didn't taste like that. I'm sorry, what?

Jeez, my _eyes_! I breathed deeply and gave in, letting my eyes slide closed just as I felt Naruto shift beside me.

I thought nothing of it and slumped to the side, leaning against one of the cushions. Sleep… so close… come on… just a little closer…

I moved around a little and tucked my face deeper into the large cushion. God, it was comfy. I let my breathing even out and let myself give a little smile. As much as I hated to admit it, I was actually having a good time with these guys. None of them were pissing me off as much as they usually did, and Itachi was fine. I had nothing to worry about… except what the _hell_ was that dead weight on my shoulder?

I opened my eyes blearily and looked to my right, seeing a hand curled around my upper arm. Eh. I glanced at the TV screen and saw that there was a girl in incredibly tight leather flying a helicopter. What? Had I actually fallen asleep?

My eyes flew open wider and I looked back to my right.

The – what – nguh – huh?!

I jerked my head up and collided with Naruto's chin, crying out and rubbing the sore spot on my head. I glared at Naruto, immediately aware that what I had thought was a cushion really wasn't a cushion at all. Everyone was looking at us now, so I decided to save us both the embarrassment of asking why had had his arm around me and instead said, "Stupid dobe. Punch me again and I'll punch you back," and sat perfectly straight, staring at the television screen but not really seeing it.

I knew what I'd made up as an excuse for shouting didn't exactly cover why Naruto had a hand on his chin, I was rubbing my head and we were both dangerously red, but luckily everyone failed to notice that or was just too polite to say anything, and went on watching some guy in a black coat (that was actually quite cute) jump into a window.

But Naruto had his arm around me. He had his arm around me. His arm was over my shoulders. He had drawn me in closer. And unless I was_very_ delusional in my momentary bliss, had kissed the top of my head.

Oh God, I had to get out of there.

I stood, still a little surprised, and mumbled something about checking my phone for calls from Itachi. I dashed into the hall and somehow found my way to Naruto's room in the dark, tripping a little on someone's bag as I sat down heavily on the edge of the bed and flicking the bedside lamp on. As I did I checked the time. 11:50… Kisame should be at home by now…

But wow, that was a very un-Uchiha-like way to react. Unbelievably so. Oh man, what the hell did I do? I shouldn't have moved! I was perfectly comfortable – he was making a move on me! He bloody well kissed me!

Was I the biggest freaking idiot known to mankind? Did I actually freak out and run away? For God's sake, I was Uchiha Sasuke, Ice Prince, Mr I Don't Drop My Mask For Anyone, and I _ran_.

It was just quick kiss and an arm, you twat. He's kissed you out of the blue before and you didn't freak then, so what's it -? Oh, hello Naruto.

_Run!_

My mind was such a jumbled mess that I couldn't even formulate a greeting to the blonde boy as he picked his way across the floor and sat down next to me. I merely glanced at him, dropped my anxious look immediately and tried to appear more relaxed.

He fidgeted for a moment while I still tried to think, and eventually broke the silence by saying, "Uh… you okay?"

Come on, brain, you can do it. "Yes, why?" Well done!

He gave a lopsided smile and scratched the back of his head nervously. "Well, you know. You kinda just up and left with this weird look on your face mumbling something about your phone and Itachi."

"…Yes?" Doing good, brain, doing good.

He rolled his eyes at me and flopped backwards on the bed, making the bedspread puff out a little. I turned my eyes away, not trusting my body's reaction to seeing him shirtless on his bed. Oh yes, he and Kiba had decided it was far too warm tonight to stay fully clothed, and so had left their shirts off. I wasn't complaining – they were both too cute for their own good.

"Dude, I saw you put your mobile in your pocket before. That was a weak excuse. What's up?"

You're what's up, you oblivious twit! You kissed my head! You had your arm around me! Or had you failed to realise where your limbs wandered off to without your constant supervision? Can't you see that when you so much as _smile_ at me my brain turns to a dysfunctional pile of jelly that refuses on setting until a good half an hour later?

"Hn," was all I managed. That's a big fat Fail for you, brain.

"You know, we never got to finish our conversation from ages ago."

I tried to keep my relieved look at bay and instead raised an eyebrow in silent question. At least there were _some_ facial expressions that he could read.

"You know… _that_ one?"

Ah, that one. Hell yes I remembered it. I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue.

"So, uh… you reckon you could help me out?"

Ooh, hell _yes_! But wait, Sasuke, we're not quite at Stage Two yet, just a little longer and he'll want to experiment. Be patient. Oh, screw patience! I want him and I want him now!

No, I had to help out and once again ignore my own desires for the benefit of others. Whoa, twice in one night? What was wrong with me?

"What do you want to know?"

I felt my heart lift a little at the amazing smile he sent my way, and it took all my restraint not to smile back. He sat up and crossed his legs on the bed, resting his chin on his hands. Ngh, he was so adorable!

"Well, first off, how'd you know you were gay?"

Duh. I looked at a guy once and was suddenly struck by how amazing his blue eyes were and fell for him straight away. Despite his lack of fashion sense. Then I noticed more guys – like Gaara and Neji and Kiba and whatnot. Gaara helped me out, having already come to terms with the fact that he really didn't care which sex he was with, and from then on it just sort of came to me. Random guys down the street, my friends (like that short time where I liked Neji), other guys at school, the thought that kissing a girl was just gross, and a number of other things all contributed to helping me realise I was gay. But mostly it was that kid with blue eyes that just happened to be sitting in front of me right now without a shirt.

Of course I couldn't say any of that, so I said instead, "I paid more attention to guys than girls. Girls irritated me and guys didn't. Guys were a lot more interesting and fun. I caught myself checking out some year twelve kid in the canteen line and it all happened from there."

He got a little embarrassed then and fidgeted uncomfortably. I didn't say anything, trying to keep my indifferent mask up, but he really was gorgeous when he was struggling. I'd give anything to know what he was thinking.

"Huh… right, well I guess I can relate to that one."

He caught himself checking some year twelve guy out in the canteen line? He must've seen some of my confusion because he shrugged, gave a smile and said, "Never mind. So, how did –"

Nuh-uh, kiddo. "Fair's fair." Like hell I was going to spill my guts to _him_ of all people and not get anything in return.

He furrowed his brows at me. "What?"

"I answer you and you tell me what's happening."

He laughed and scratched his head again. "Yeah… fine."

He didn't say anything after that, and flopped back down onto the bed. I twisted so that my legs were no longer off the edge of the bed but folded underneath me, and eyed him curiously. He flung an arm over his eyes to hide them and, I'm assuming, his fierce blush that refused to budge.

"Well, I thought I was totally arse over head for Sakura, right, but I never realised how irritating and clingy she is." He allowed a little shudder here for good measure, and I smirked. "And I'm way more comfortable around guys than girls – we just click better. I've already told you that I've noticed most of our friends and realised how good-looking they all are. And yeah… checked someone out before I kicked myself and ran away."

I smirked at him. "Who?"

He lifted his arm to glance down at me before covering his eyes again. "Heh, how long have you got?"

Both my eyebrows shot up as he laughed a little at himself. So, more than one guy, eh? It was vain of me to think it, but I'd bet anything that I was on that list. I've said it before but I'll say it again – I'm hot and I know it.

I didn't reply to that, just waited in silence for him to ask his next question.

"How did you know it wasn't a phase?"

Pah, easy. "After a couple of months of pushing away every single girl, hooking up with Gaara whenever I got a spare moment and falling really hard for some guy, I took a wild guess."

I could see a smile peeking out from underneath his arm, and he laughed. "Can't quite relate to that one, except for the last part."

I said nothing as my heart leapt out of the starting gates and took a run for it. My eyes widened and my brain went into a frenzy. He liked someone? He liked a guy? Who was it? Oh my God, what if it was me? Would he tell me? Is that why he said he wanted to kiss me? Then why doesn't he just say it?

I forced myself to end the flow of questions and gave myself a mental lecture.

Uchiha Sasuke, you are a self-centred prick. One, you have absolutely no idea who it is. Two, it most likely isn't you because you're a nasty piece of work and it would have to be the impending apocalypse that would ever make him fall for you, and that would be only out of sheer desperation to get laid before his life ended. Three, if it indeed is you and he's deluded enough to think you're a nice guy, then I will permit you to do a victory dance later when no one is around to humiliate you. Four, yes he did say he wanted to kiss you, but that in no way means he feels something for you other than the desire to get in your pants because you're hot stuff. Now that I'm done, you can answer his next question and explain that your other conscience was giving you a lecture for being a stuck-up prat.

"Sasuke, you right?"

I blinked back at him. He called me Sasuke? When did he get that close? He was kneeling now, and had wriggled his way right up to me, his huge blue eyes scrutinising me. And – oh crap, was that a hand on my shoulder?

I shrugged it off and sighed, glaring at him. "Fine, dobe. What were you saying?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, crossing him arms against his bare chest. Still going for the half-naked look, I see.

"Yeah, sure. You totally spaced out."

I glared at him, but he just grinned back at me. Why did that never have an effect on him? He held up his hands in defeat and shook his head, still grinning.

"All right, all right, whatever. Now tell me how you handled it."

Handled what? Oh, being gay, right. I rolled my eyes.

"It's not a matter of handling it. It's who you are and that's it. There's no point stressing over something that won't change, no matter how hard you try. It's exactly the same as liking girls, except without the squealing. Just ignore what people say, do what you want, and that's all."

He laughed then, and leaned back against his pillows. Holy crap, he was gorgeous. I'd noticed before that his body was well built, but in the dull light from the bedside lamp his tanned skin actually seemed to be glowing, and the shadows helped define his muscles. Seriously. He looked like some blonde sex god, sitting there. And that easy smile he was wearing had that 'come and get me' look about it.

Resist the urges, Sasuke, you can do it… well done!

"Well when you put it that way, I guess it's true. I thought it'd be some huge life-changing thing and I'd go into stress and be like, freaking out lots. But I suppose... there really isn't any point, is there? I mean, if I am gay, I can't change it, can I I'll have to get used to the looks and comments and stuff… were people nasty to you?"

It was my turn to cross my arms as I said, "Baka, half our friends are gay."

He blanked again. "What?"

"Well there's me for one, Gaara, Neji and Tenten are bi, Kiba and Shino have trouble refraining from jumping each other every second, you're confused, I have my sneaking suspicions about Ino being bi and I swear Shikamaru's gay but just hasn't figured it out."

Naruto snorted at that last part. "Girls are so troublesome," he said, mimicking Shikamaru.

I shrugged and waited for him to ask another question. He probably had about fifty stored away in there, and most of them would be repeated. I gave a mental sigh and rested my chin on my hands. There was a shout from the deck and clapping soon followed with whoops and laughter. Dammit, they better not have finished the movie. I wanted my alone time with Naruto and whoever interrupted was going to cop it. Big time.

But there were no more questions to be asked, apparently, and in a matter of seconds I was flat on my back with Naruto half on top of me. Well, that certainly was an interesting change of events. I smirked up at him and he cocked an eyebrow.

"Ah, stage two at last."

He frowned at me and asked, "What?"

I snaked a hand up to his right shoulder, my left going around his waist, and pushed and pulled respectively to change our positions. My fringe tickled his cheeks as I held both of his arms down, propping myself up with my knees either side of his waist.

"Stage One: thinking things through, you know the whole 'am I just being hormonal or what?' It's taken you a month so far with that one. Stage Two: Experimenting. That's where you are now. Stage Three: figuring out what you want based on Stage Two. Stage Four: How will it affect your life? And Stage Five: come to terms with whatever you figure out."

Wow, that was a lot of words in one hit.

He blinked slowly. "And you know all that… how?"

"Because I went through exactly the same thing, dobe."

He grinned up at me and a whole cage full of butterflies was opened in my stomach while my brain melted at a steady pace.

"Right, of course. Well then, if we're at the experimenting stage, would you mind kissing me?"

"Hn," was all I could muster, and slowly bent down to touch our lips together. He didn't really taste like anything, actually, but there was still the lingering scent of the pool, overlayed with something else that I couldn't quite put my finger on. But before I could deepen the kiss, there was a light cough from the doorway.

I looked up, bloody furious, and Naruto craned his neck to look at the intruder upside down.

"Do you _mind_?" I said, voice full of venom. Being a bastard is so much fun, sometimes. Pity Kiba was almost as impervious to it as Naruto. Bugger it. Oh, bad choice of words there, Sasuke.

He rolled his eyes, but that tiny little step backwards wasn't lost on me. "I just wanted to warn you that the movie's finished and we're all coming back inside. If you didn't want anyone to interrupt then you should've closed the door, Uchiha."

I glanced down at Naruto with a frown. "I do believe you were the last one in."

He shrugged. "Well, I didn't know _this_ was gonna happen."

Kiba snorted from the doorway and I glared up at him again. "Yeah, nice one, kit. I'll shut the door, but you gotta lock it from the inside."

I 'hn'ed in response and waited until he shut the door before getting up from the bed and crossing the room.

"'Kit'?" I asked, curious.

I heard the rustle of sheets as Naruto shrugged, and I stepped over the bags to the door. "Yeah, he reckons I look like a fox, so instead of kitsune he just calls me kit."

I thought for a moment as I locked the door. Huh, made sense. He did look a bit like a fox, what with those little scars he got from when we were fighting and I accidentally-on-purpose pushed him into a barbed-wire fence. And sometimes when he was in a _really_ bad mood his pupils would turn into slits. Very unnerving.

I clicked the lock over and said nothing, turning back to the bed, only to get a face full of a grinning Naruto. If I wasn't an Uchiha, I would have screamed and jumped a foot in the air.

"Huh… you have a foxy grin," I whispered instead. I gave myself a mental kick. You're supposed to _think_ that, Sasuke, not_say_ it.

He changed his grin into a seductive smirk and said, "I know I'm foxy. Now, where were we…?"

He leant forwards and kissed me on the lips lightly, slowly pressing harder until I opened my mouth without him asking and he slipped his tongue inside.

I brought a hand up to hold the back of his neck while my other arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him in closer. Man, my body felt like it was on _fire_!

It was strange though, that Naruto was the confused one yet he was so dominant. I guess he really wanted to figure out what was happening, huh. I could feel his heartbeat hammering against my chest, and I'm sure he could feel the same as he carefully picked a path backwards through the mess on the floor.

We came to the bed without incident, our lips still locked together, both battling for dominance. I pushed him backwards, smirking down at him as he landed with a slight 'oomph'…

And it was then that my brain finally caught up with me, and I did the Uchiha equivalent of freaking out. There was a slight widening of the eyes and a twitch of the eyebrows, with the possibility of a tiny jaw-drop as I realised exactly what situation I was in.

Uzumaki Naruto, the blonde-haired, blue-eyed, irritating-as-all-hell Sex God was lying on the bed in front of me. Topless. With his hair all messed and his lips slightly swollen. I double-checked my memory to ensure that there was no alcohol and a dare involved this time. Nope, this was all Naruto. I nearly fainted.

As I slowly crawled up his body, devouring every inch him with my eyes, he got this smirk that clearly said, 'I know I'm sexy, now stop gawking and kiss me.'

I was all too happy to do just that as I sat down, straddling his hips. My eyes stopped their delightful wandering when they reached his lips, and I leant forwards…

…And froze, suddenly terrified.

What the _hell_ was I doing? I had a one-sided struggle with my brain, in which the sensible side said that I was just digging myself into a deeper hole, making myself fall even harder for him when he clearly didn't want me back. He'd said it himself.

"_I don't even know if I want _him_ in that way yet."_

Pay special attention to the emphasis on 'him'. He didn't want me, he was just figuring out what he liked. Experimenting. He was on autopilot, going through the moves and deciding if he liked it better than being with a girl. He wasn't with me because I was Sasuke; he was with me because I was a boy.

But then that all-famous giggling teenager side that was currently very prominent screamed, _Just kiss him, you pathetic wretch! How can you ignore your hormones like this?_

I must have looked angry or confused or something because he sat up slightly, holding himself up by his elbows and pressing our foreheads together.

"Hey… what's up?"

I thought for a moment, weighing up the consequences before I said, "Why?"

He rolled his eyes, leaning back a little. I tried not to feel disappointed. "Because you suddenly got this pissed look on your face. I don't think that's normal when you're about to make out with the best looking thing on the planet."

I groaned inwardly at his overwhelming self-confidence. "I meant why me?"

He furrowed his brows and stared at something very interesting behind me on the wall. Actually, come to think of it, there probably _was_ something very interesting behind me on the wall. I didn't look though, preferring to stare at Naruto as he thought. It was a rare thing to witness.

"Well, _usually_ you don't ask questions. You're very straightforward, you've been through this before and despite what people think, I know you won't judge me."

Well, fair enough. But he looked like he wanted to say something else.

"Plus, you're sexy as hell."

Pah, knew it. "I don't think you hate me anymore, dobe."

"Same goes for you, teme."

I raised an eyebrow, pulse quickening despite my best efforts to keep it under control.

"Hn. Think what you will."

And with that I dropped my hands to either side of his head and crushed our lips together, forcing him to grant me entry to prove my point that I definitely didn't think he was a friend just yet. As his hands gripped my hips painfully tight, I reasoned with myself that there must have been some form of feelings there for him to confide in me like he just had, and so contented myself with that thought as he moaned beneath me, whimpering sightly as I drew back for air. And he did say he wanted to jump me.

Yes, but he also said he wasn't sure if he wanted _you_ in that way.

Shut up, conscience.

Leaning forwards, I attached my lips to his neck, going straight for his sensitive spot just near his collarbone that I remembered from last time. I smirked against his skin as I bit down and he gasped, his hands fisting themselves in my hair.

"Ng… Sasuke…" He groaned my name, making me shiver. He pulled my head back up and our lips met again, but not as hard this time, more just for the sake of touch and exploration than proving a point.

I traced the curves of his muscles lightly with my fingers, his shivers sending my brain into overload. I felt his hands wander beneath my shirt and give me the same treatment. His touch felt like fire, seriously. His fingers were amazingly cold but both our bodies were so hot that the contrast burned.

He dragged our lips apart. "You're wearing too much," he growled, and I sat back a little to let him tug at the annoying clothing, but then I had a thought. I slapped his hands away and he gave me his trademark look of confusion. I smirked at him and sat up, crossing my arms at my waist and grabbing the hem of my shirt. I kept eye contact with him as I pulled it off tantalisingly slow, shivering in delight as he basically ate me alive with his eyes.

Oh, teasing is _so_ much fun.

Just before the cloth covered my eyes as I pulled it over my head, I saw his jaw drop and gave a mental cackle. That move works without fail.

I dropped the t-shirt somewhere on the floor and gave a little 'mph' of surprise as his lips crashed into mine again, both of us opening our mouths instantly and willingly, our tongue's fighting to dominate the other.

Again we needed air, and I smirked down at the blonde as I pushed my hips down a little, wrenching a moan from him.

"Well, _that's_ something the ladies can't do," he gasped.

You ain't seen nothing yet, kiddo.

I knew exactly what to do to make him moan. Oh, for all you questioning souls out there, Uchiha Sasuke is not a virgin. And neither is Sabaku Gaara. Let's just say we got a _bit_ too carried away not that long ago when Itachi was out. Yes…

But I didn't – no, couldn't – let my thoughts linger there for any longer than a couple of seconds as Naruto's hips tentatively came up to meet mine, effectively knocking out any coherent thought. I bit back a groan as he did it again, more confident now that he had taken note of my spaced out/blissful expression.

"Naruto…" was all I could manage to gasp.

I didn't know where to put my hands, wanting them to be _everywhere_ at once. But, that being impossible, I settled with tangling one through his hair and resting one against the muscles on his stomach, amazed at how they tensed and relaxed depending on how he moved his body. He was fascinating, everything about him, and those _moans_! I reckon I'd just found my ultimate weakness.

Apparently he'd had enough of being pushed around, because once again I found myself flat on my back with Naruto's lips attached to my neck, slowly working their way down my chest.

I shuddered and arched up into his touch, letting him have his way for a while and nearly sighing with content as his lips came back to mine again, hands fisting themselves in my hair, mine roaming all over his back and chest, still unsure of where they wanted to stay.

Our hips pressed together as our legs became tangled, and we both groaned, pausing in momentary bliss before I used our position to my advantage to switch, smirking at his surprised look as I was once again on top of him.

"You didn't _really_ think it would last long, did you?"

He rolled his eyes. "Teme."

I shrugged and ghosted our lips together, not actually touching. "That I am."

He grinned and closed the almost non-existent gap between us, kissing me hard. I don't think I'll ever get over the feeling of his lips on mine. Possibly the most amazing thing in the world.

But of course, all good – no, _great_ – things must come to an end…

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and instantly froze up, dreading who it could be. I _very_ reluctantly detached my lips from Naruto's and sighed in apology at his 'do you _really_ have to?' look as my phone continued to sing at me. I pulled it out of my pocket and checked the screen.

Itachi.

_Shit_.

I answered immediately, trying not to let my brain jump to conclusions as it was so determined to do. "Bro? You okay?"

His voice came back a little crackly and barely above a whisper. "I think there's someone in the house."

I thought a moment before answering, ignoring Naruto's questioning look. I tried to analyse his voice. He sounded calm, a little nervous and frightened, but I could have sworn he was trying to hide a smile.

"You better not be having me on again."

"No, I'm serious. I know it's not my mind." His voice was still hushed, but… Yep, he was definitely smiling.

"Do you have _any_ idea what you just interrupted?" I barely contained my anger. Barely.

"… I have a rough idea. So did the money come in handy?"

"Itachi!"

He laughed and said something in response but I honestly didn't hear it. Naruto had chosen that moment to tease the life out of me. He tipped my chin up a little with his right hand, the other looped around my waist, and ever so lightly licked just below my ear. As my brother kept talking, Naruto's tongue moved lower, finally working at a single spot where my neck joined my shoulder.

"Ng… s-sorry… what'd you say?" Oh crap. I stuttered. Now he definitely knew something was going on, and he would _never_ let me live it down.

However, I was saved from any embarrassment as Itachi's reply was cut off by an almighty crash from his end of the line and we both swore simultaneously. I jerked my head back and put a hand on Naruto's chest, silently telling him to lay off for a minute. I rolled off the blonde and sat on the edge of the bed, my knuckles going white as I gripped the phone.

"What the hell was that?" There was no answer. "Itachi!" I tried desperately to keep the fright out of my voice, but I reckon I failed. Miserably.

There was a loud whooshing sound as Itachi let out the breath he had been holding.

"What the –swear- happened?" I all but screeched.

"… I don't know. I'm going to check it out."

Oh hell no. I stood up and began pacing, throwing my Uchiha mask out the window. And then I did something very odd – the Uzumaki equivalent of freaking out.

I clenched and unclenched my fist, the other hand holding onto the phone as if my life depended on it, and stalked back and forth. My eyes were wide and my mouth was firing off a whole list of questions that I can't even remember clearly, my voice dangerously high in both pitch and volume.

"What? No, stay right where you are! What good is you going out there gonna do? What if you get hurt? What if there isn't even anyone there but you don't know and you don't think you need your medication or something? You're so _stupid_! You have no idea who it is or how dangerous they are!"

There was heavy breathing and a slight pause before Itachi whispered, "Well… uh…"

"Where are you?"

"In my room."

"Is the door locked?"

There was a faint click. "Is now."

"Don't move. I'm coming over, and if you're out of your room when I get there I swear I will murder your arse."

I didn't give him a chance to respond and hung up on him, snapping the phone shut. I took a deep breath to calm myself and put a hand on my forehead. I felt Naruto take my other hand and looked into his concerned blue eyes, gratefully taking my shirt that he had retrieved for me.

"Itachi says there's someone in the house. I gotta go over there. Now."

I yanked the shirt over my head and kissed him on the lips before turning to run out the door. Just before I left the room I said over my shoulder, "I'll be back. If not tonight, then tomorrow for my stuff."

I ran down the hall and through the lounge room to the front door, ignoring the calls of "Where are you going?" from the others. I had no time for explanations.

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I don't think I've ever run as fast in my life. The absolute fear of my brother hurting himself because of something his mind created was driving me on, forcing me to ignore that sharp pain in my chest and legs as I turned left down this street, right down that one.

He better still be in his room, or I will give in to the previous urges of beating him senseless, throttling him, kneeing him in the groin and locking him outside in the rain which had oh-so-conveniently begun to fall. The weather was going crazy – hot and sunny in the day and cool and raining at night. Hn…

Or perhaps I really would kill him, bring him back (don't ask me how) and kill him again. Several times. If he interrupted me for nothing, that's what'd happen.

I gritted my teeth in a mixture of anger, frustration and downright worry for Itachi, knowing how fragile he was after what happened when I got home from school. It wouldn't make any difference if the 'intruder' was real or not, Itachi could still easily get hurt. Although, if it wasn't real, what the _hell_ was that crash I heard?

Just as I rounded the last corner, a thought hit me like a slap in the face.

_Kisame_!

I growled in my throat and ran to the end of the street, the air burning in my lungs.

I swear, if he came home and scared Itachi into another episode, I'd take back everything I wanted to do to my brother and do it to him instead. Only tenfold.

Chest heaving, I wrenched open the front door, only vaguely surprised to find it unlocked, and ran into the living room. And stopped. And stared. And closed my eyes as tight as possible. And turned around, preparing to bolt out the door just as fast as I had come in.

"Sasuke, wait!"

I clenched my teeth and didn't turn around, keeping my eyes shut tight and trying _really_ hard to banish the awful mental images that decided to have a party in my mind.

"What?" I forced out.

There was as scrambling sound behind me and frantic curses, then Itachi's unusually timid voice saying, "Uh… lil bro? … Sorry?"

Calm, Sasuke, calm. Deep breaths, that's it. Good boy. Now, time to get those vocal cords working.

I kept my voice menacingly low as I growled, "Do you have _any_ idea how hard and fast I ran to get here to help you, worried _sick_ that you got yourself hurt? Do you know how insanely frantic I was? I thought one of your other 'delightful' personalities had come out, or maybe you'd imagined something, and I was really, _really_ worried. I was having an extremely good time before you rang and interrupted, and you didn't even call me to rectify the situation and say 'oh, sorry bro, it was just Kisame coming over for a nice round of _sex_!'"

I then piss-bolted out the door, too scarred to face either of them, but allowed myself a tiny smirk as I squinted my eyes against the drizzling rain.

I say, vocal cords, well done!

* * *

Damn Itachi and his interrupting! -shakes fist- Even though I technically made him do it... heh.

Please excuse any missed words, spelling mistakes or grammatical mistakes in this chapter - I honestly didn't have time to read through it a five hundredth time. Sorry!

So, press that beautiful looking review button, tell me what you think, and don't hold your breath for the next chapter. Might not even be up until early february or like, last weekend in Jan. Don't hurt me! -runs off-

Revieeeeewww!!

WY


	10. Autopilot Is Good

_Man_ this chapter was a bitch and a half to write! Sorry if it comes out disjointed and … well… crap. But I honestly had such a hard time that I gave up, started a new part, came back, tried to fix it, gave up again, came back to it, tried again, and so on and so forth. A few of the bits are pretty pointless, but I liked them too much to get rid of them. So therefore, this chapter is insanely long and insanely boring, badly written and messy.

Just let me say this – Sasuke's thought processes are an absolute mess. They're basically what I was thinking and I wrote it as I though it, which is why it's all very… blergh.

But yeah, enough of me complaining about how crap it is, you can do that for me in you reviews. Eep!

I don't know if it's _Su_baku no Gaara or _Sa_baku, so I'm just leaving it as Sabaku. If it's wrong, don't shoot me. (Just a warning for future chapters).

**Previous disclaimers apply**.

* * *

10. AUTOPILOT IS GOOD…

When I woke up, I was instantly aware of a dead weight on my chest and something tickling my chin. I was also incredibly warm, which wasn't good considering today was just as hot as yesterday despite it being closer to winter than summer. I turned my head a little to stop the tickling and breathed deeply, willing myself to go back to sleep. God knows I needed it.

But then I remembered why I was so tired, and my eyes sprang open while I gave myself a mental beating for bringing back the memories of Itachi and Kisame doing… _things_ on our living room couch. I was_never_ going to sit on it again. Ever. Not even for Naruto.

I squeezed my eyes shut and grimaced. I'd had my suspicions for a while, but I was waiting for Itachi to tell me himself. I forced myself to concentrate on other, more pleasant memories of the previous night instead, and pushed out the disturbing ones of my brother and shark-boy.

Naruto… Naruto and I had made out. For quite a while, if I remember correctly. And thank Christ no one else saw except Kiba. I smiled a little at Naruto's surprising forwardness. But, I reminded myself, it hadn't meant anything to him. I was just the first of his soon to be long 'Guys I've Kissed' list. But still, if it helped him realise that he was gay, then it was worth it. Hell, even if it didn't it was still worth it. He rivaled Gaara, seriously, and that kid was the bloody master of kissing people until they just wanted to die due to an overdose of sheer bliss. All right, maybe a slight over-exaggeration, but you get it.

The dead weight on my chest shifted and mumbled something, and as I glanced down I gave a small smile and willed my heart back down in its rightful place, as opposed to my throat. My free hand moved to run through Naruto's hair of its own accord, and the boy nuzzled deeper into the crook of my arm.

I paused for a second as I realised that we had fallen asleep on opposite sides of the room, and gave a mental squirm of utter glee that he had obviously come to find me during the night.

Nothing had happened when I finally returned home, drenched for the second time that night. We'd just had another round of frustrated controller throwing and yelling at the TV, then fell asleep wherever we happened to be at the time. It wasn't especially awkward, and Shikamaru had tactfully directed conversation elsewhere when someone (-cough- _Lee_ –cough-) bluntly asked me where I was before I left and then where I ran off to.

Naruto and I had sort of silently agreed, or known, that it was just an experiment to help him, nothing more. I had to content myself with that, no matter how much it made me want to scream and yell and cause a general commotion.

Naruto shifted against my chest again, and I glanced around the room to see everyone in awkward positions on beanbags or couches or slumped over someone else's legs. Or, in Shino and Kiba's case, a _very_ compromising position under a thin blanket.

Go Shino! I mentally cheered.

A quick glance at the clock above the television told me that it was eleven-thirty… something – _shit_!

I sat up fast, paying no heed to Naruto's obviously comfortable position as he rolled to the floor with a dull thud and a pissed sounding groan. Half an hour, half an hour, half an hour. Oh Jesus, where was my top? I didn't even know I'd taken it off.

"What're y' doin'…?" A mumbled question came from Naruto, and I glanced down at him as he rubbed at his eyes blearily. Why did he have to be so cute that I promptly forgot everything else around me? It was getting frustrating.

I blinked and shook my head, clearing it of any not-so-unwanted thoughts. "I got work in half an hour and I can't find my top. I'm stealing one of yours."

He gave a sleepy nod and fell back against the cushion I had used for a pillow, and I paused in my sudden rush to watch him for a moment. I stopped myself from brushing his fringe out of his eyes just in time, and turned around to dash down the hall, leaping over Choji in the process.

I scrounged around in Naruto's room until I found a shirt that wasn't orange and didn't smell, grabbed my bag, ran back down the hall, leapt over Choji again, struggled with myself for a moment and fought away the urge to kiss Naruto on the forehead, and flew out the door towards the café.

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I groaned in protest as coffee-girl pushed me towards the table.

"Go," she said firmly. "He's just another customer."

"Sure, just another customer who likes wasting my time and pissing me off to no end."

She rolled her eyes and gave me another shove, thrusting a pen and notepad into my hand. "Do it," she commanded.

I gave a mock salute and spun around to face my English teacher with a shudder, dreading what he was going to make me go through today. Every single time he came in he would start the order, change his mind, think for a while, ask me how my day was, ask if I'd done the English homework, ask if I was enjoying school, ask what I recommended, spend _ages_ deciding what coffee he would have, place another order, change it, make another one, and begin to change it again until I made one up for him and stalked away.

It happened every single time, and it was seriously starting to shit me.

And what made it worse was that everyone else who worked with me found it simply _hilarious_ to watch me squirm under that damned man's indecision, and so left me to deal with him whenever he walked in, conveniently finding something else to occupy themselves with.

I walked as slowly as possible towards Kakashi-sensei's table with a scowl set firmly in place. He noticed me coming and grinned up at me, his eyes creasing in that tell-tale I'm-going-to-screw-around-with-you-even-more-today-and-you-can't-stop-me kind of way. I shuddered again.

"Sasuke! How are you? I was hoping you'd be working today."

I raised an eyebrow and showed him my pad and pen, clearly asking him what he wanted to order. But he shook his head and surprised me by asking me to sit down.

"Sorry Kakashi-sensei, but I'm at work."

"I know you are, and instead of standing here waiting for me to decide like always, why don't you sit down?"

I assessed the danger of the situation. He could do quite a manner of torturous things to me if I sat down, but he did have a point. If I was waiting then I might as well sit.

I sank into the seat, eyeing him cautiously. He just smiled at me and stuck his nose into the menu, furrowing his brows in concentration. I prepared myself for the barrage of questions that was sure to come, and switched my mind onto auto-pilot.

"So, how's school?"

"Fine."

"Coping with the workload?"

"Yes."

"Is Satsuki working the coffee machine today?"

"Yes."

"Damn. Is Iruka treating you well?"

"No."

"Do you ever do work in my class?"

"No."

"Are the Special foccacias any good?"

"Great."

"Thought about your subjects for next year yet?"

"Yes."

"Still after Uzumaki?"

"Y-_what_?"

His head snapped up and for once he wasn't grinning stupidly at me. In fact, he was entirely serious as he held my gaze. Where the _hell_ did that question come from? I thought I was the master at disguising my emotions! I was proved wrong the first time when Sakura figured it out, then Gaara, Neji, and Shino, Itachi found out, then Kiba knew, and now my bloody teacher was questioning me? And they _both_ knew?

Oh, I sure as hell am _not_ going to put up with this.

I stood up and said with a sense of finality, "Tell me when you're ready to order, Kakashi-sensei," and turned to leave when a firm hand gripped my arm. Tightly.

I glared down at the silver-haired man, and was slightly put off by his look of total seriousness.

"Sasuke, sit down."

I wasn't arguing with that voice. Nuh-uh.

I sat back down in the seat heavily, thankful for the return of the blood to my fingers and still glaring my worst at him. He glared straight back and neither of us blinked for quite some time. Eventually both our eyes started screaming at us for some moisture and we had to comply. It was as if by blinking we broke the spell, and Kakashi explained himself.

"Iruka was telling me a little while ago that Naruto had suddenly become very withdrawn when around you and a couple of his other male friends, and when he tried to pry it out of him, only got the usual grin and an 'I'm fine, don't worry about me' sort of explanation. We have both been trying to figure out what is wrong with him, and have finally come up with a conclusion."

He paused for a moment, as if inviting me to speak. I took the invitation and ripped it up into a million little pieces, throwing it back in his face with an ice-cold glare. He politely ignored it and continued.

"We both know exactly what Naruto is going through, having been through it ourselves, and I'm sure you understand as well."

"I'm not gay."

My other conscience gave me a sound slap in the face for that comment. Oh sure, that was smart. You _twat_, Sasuke! Is there any possible way you could have been more obvious? Aren't you past the denying stage? Who cares if your teacher knows anyway? Well, he's bound to know now, you dumb-arse.

I kept my face impassive as I launched a bout of insults at myself in my mind. I can be quite harsh on myself at times. Kakashi smirked at me, and I knew I was in for it.

"I don't believe I mentioned anything about being gay, Sasuke."

Silence. Always a good option when you can honestly think of no way to rectify the situation.

"But thankyou for confirming what we already thought."

More silence. Excellent.

He tapped his fingers on the tabletop impatiently and leant forwards. "Iruka asked me to tell you to look out for him. We both know that you're not exactly close, but we can tell you've been getting much closer in this past month. Iruka puts you two together for a reason, you know, and I don't spend all class reading."

I raised an eyebrow at this, clearly not believing him. He chuckled and shrugged, resting his chin in his hands.

"Think what you will, Uchiha. But I have noticed you and Naruto in my classes, and I know you're not stupid enough to be blind to his affections –"

I had to interrupt. "No, he doesn't like me."

"Maybe you are that stupid."

I shook my head with a frown, surprised that I was actually talking to the man. Much less about _Naruto_, of all things. "I know it's not me." I thought for a moment before saying, "He's at Stage Two," by way of explanation.

He gave me a questioning look and asked, "And 'Stage Two' is…?"

"Experimenting."

He smiled then, a real smile without any hidden intentions behind it. Well, that was a rarity. Usually when he was smiling he was actually concocting something in his mind and thinking something along the lines of 'But if I do it like _this_ they'll scream for longer'.

He didn't answer me though, because Iruka-sensei just happened to land with a dull thump next to him on the seat and hit his head on the table. I stood up to leave and for the first time ever, Kakashi ordered for them both.

"Two Special foccacias and a strong cappuccino for this wreck," he said, slapping his partner on the back with a grin.

Iruka groaned and lifted his head to nod at me, confirming that's what he wanted. I scribbled down the order on my notepad, but before I could leave, Kakashi said softly, "Look after him."

I nodded dumbly and hurried away, my mind strangely blank.

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The whole way home I thought. I thought and thought and kicked a stone and thought some more. I even punched a tree at one point… I think. I took a quick glance at my hand as I rounded the last turn into my street. Yep, I punched a tree.

It was one of those periods of such deep thought that it was hard to separate one thought from another. I tried my best to sort through them, but all I came up with was fragmented sections running into each other. I hadn't thought hard about Naruto for a while and tried to make sense of everything that had happened so far, so I guess now would be a good time to catch up with myself.

Everyone thought Naruto liked me, except me. Sakura, Gaara, Neji, Kiba, even Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei all thought he wanted me. What the hell? Shikamaru was the only one who hadn't told me what he really thought. (1)

I just couldn't figure him out! He was using me and I was okay with that… was I? Well, if using me meant more of last night, then I was definitely okay with it. But what if he found out how I felt? Kiba had practically told him but he'd brushed it off as misinterpreting my facial expressions. Happens all the time.

But… I suddenly remembered what he'd said ages ago in the park, and I smirked a little.

"_So who do you want to kiss?"_

"_Uh… I – um…kuso!"_

And he'd kissed me. He _wanted_ to kiss me. Me instead of a girl. Me instead of his _girlfriend_. I'm not one of those people who stupidly think negatively about themselves and go 'nooo, he doesn't like me. Why would he?' Instead I go 'okay, he's smiling at me in _that_ way… bah, he so likes me.'

I couldn't help it. I laughed. Just a little.

He had to like me, he just _had_ to. Since we'd become friends he'd been a lot nicer (unless he was like that to all his friends… I wouldn't really know), and he smiled at me more. Kiba had said I was sure to have noticed, and damn right I had. Man, how could I _not_ have noticed that smile? He kept my attention the second he walked into the room, and I was always looking for him when he was late. Discreetly, of course.

Or maybe not so discreetly… I don't know! So many people knew that I had to be more obvious than I thought I was. My only consolation was that Naruto _definitely_ didn't know – he was too oblivious. To him I was just someone who could help him out and didn't mind the occasional snog.

But was that really all? I couldn't tell! I was supposed to be a genius, some big 'hooh-hah' that was the amazing Uchiha child. I was always good at figuring people out, working out how they operated, what ticked them off, why they acted the way they did. But Naruto… Naruto continued to elude me.

He was generally happy, loud, bubbly, annoying, small and painfully bright (have I said he likes orange?), but occasionally his smile wouldn't reach his eyes, and he'd look at some random kid and their father with this far away look in his eyes. The kind that tore my heart out and stomped all over it on the pavement.

He… He was just confusing. He never let anyone in, except maybe Kiba, and now that he had started talking to me I realised how complex a person he was. It was like he said: one day he was straighter than a lamppost, the next we make out, and the day after that he starts wondering about his sexuality. Then, after making a very uncharacteristic apology, he kisses me in the park. He continues to date Sakura when anyone with a pair of decent eyes (hell, even someone _blind_) can see that he doesn't feel anything for her anymore. He tells Kiba he doesn't want _me_ in that way, then jumps me _again_, but says (okay, strongly implies) that it's only experimenting and it means nothing.

Uh… What?

Kakashi had said to look after him, but what the hell did that mean? Maybe he didn't want him to get hurt… I laughed at him. If he knew how many of our friends _wanted_ him to be gay, then he'd know there was absolutely nothing to worry about.

I didn't know how many people actually knew what was happening with blondie, but I knew that a majority always said things like, "Man, he would make the _best_ gay." It's true, he so would. But if only he'd hurry his arse up and _realise_ it!

Ugh, why couldn't I stop thinking? Even for half an hour? It'd give me a break, that's for sure. Maybe I wouldn't be so difficult to deal with if I didn't have this thing where I had to go through every possible outcome in my head, overlapping them all and forgetting a line of thought as I caught onto another one, in the end jumbling everything up into a big mess that I got paranoid over.

I kicked open the door and threw my bag on the ground, shouting "Tadaima!" angrily into the hopefully empty house. No such luck.

"Welcome home," Itachi muttered as he passed through the living room and into the kitchen, a piece of toast hanging out of his mouth. He raised a hand in greeting but otherwise ignored me. I was fine with that; it's what I was used to. And I sure as hell didn't want to go through _that_ talk with him, especially not now when I had my own things to deal with.

I honestly didn't care what he did with Kisame, I'd just prefer that he warn me in the future. I _definitely_ didn't want a repeat of last night. Nuh-uh. I mean, I'd kind of already known, but surely there were other ways for me to have it confirmed?

But just as I was thankful that Itachi didn't seem to want to talk, he bumped into me as I was about to walk down the hall. The piece of toast was now in his hand and he happened to push it into me, smearing jam onto Naruto's t-shirt. Ah well, at least it wasn't mine. He looked up at me in horror, eyes wide, and started stammering an apology.

You see, there's a certain way of dealing with my brother that ensures your own safety, but it takes a little while to get used to. If he says to you "Look, I know you're going to be mad" before he spills his guts, then it's best to be mad, or at least pretend to be, because it's what he's expecting – anything else and his brain will get all confused and it'll only make it worse. The trick is to act exactly how he thinks you're going to, except when he_asks_ you not to be mad, or upset, or to laugh at him. If you don't, he'll only get pissed off and _extremely_ confused. There's a knack for dealing with him and keeping his psycho levels down to a tolerable level, and so far I'm the only one who's been able to do it.

So when he started with "I know you're going to be angry," I had to pretend to be. I let my eyes narrow during the whole course of his apology, wishing that I didn't have to upset him but knowing that if I acted against what he thought I would, his head would likely explode.

"I-I'm so sorry! I was just coming back from the kitchen and… and you were there, and I didn't know and agh I'm sorry!"

Narrow those eyes, Sasuke.

"I should have rung you last night to tell you about Kisame, a-and I don't know why I didn't but… Please, I'm sorry! I should have told you what was happening, but I didn't know how you'd react and well, yeah. I guess you really don't care though, do you? I mean, what with you being all… yeah. But still – uh… I'm – I'm sorry!"

Why is it so hard for people to say 'you're gay'? I folded my arms across my chest, glaring dangerously at him. It was sort of weird, him being so much older than me but me being the one to sort of look after him.

He widened his eyes even more, tugging a little at Naruto's top. But he'd pretty much told me to be mad, so I turned my back on him and stalked into my room, slamming the door behind me just as my mobile rang.

I glanced at the screen. Oh great, time for Twenty Questions. I turned my brain into auto-pilot for the second time today.

"What?" Did I ever mention I was cold?

"Hello to you too, grumpy-arse."

"Hn." Which in Sasuke language means 'what do you want before I kill you for taking so long?'

"How was Naruto's?"

"Fine."

"Anything happen?"

"No."

"Anything at all?"

"No."

"What'd you guys do?"

"Stuff."

"Fun stuff with Naruto or boring stuff with everyone?"

"Everyone."

"Oh for God's sake, Sasuke! Can't you ever give me a straight answer?"

"Maybe."

I smirked and sat down on the edge of my bed as her exasperated sigh came through the line. Let her sweat it just a little longer…

"All right, answer me properly this time. What happened with Naruto?"

"Nothing."

"What?! Nothing happened? You spent the entire night with him and _nothing happened_?"

"Yep."

"You're lying. You are _so_ lying!"

"Yep."

There was a confused silence, then she gave one of those squeals that threatens to burst your eardrums and make you bleed to death "You kissed him?!"

Okay, she was just gonna keep asking me until I gave her the answer she wanted. Bah, might as well. She was kind of in on it anyway. Maybe I could talk to her about what Kakashi said… Nah.

"This is still weird." Oh wow, an answer more than one word long.

"What is?"

"Telling you that I made out with your boyfriend."

I could practically see her flapping her hand in the air as she rolled her eyes, waving away the comment. "Oh please, he's more your boyfriend than mine, Sasuke."

"So why don't you break up with him?"

"Because I want him to dump me and I want him to have a reason. He won't do it until he's sure, so when it happens you'll know he's serious."

Hn, made sense. "You're a manipulative bitch, you know that?"

"I'm assuming you mean it in the nicest way possible."

"Of course."

"Then we can agree on something, at least. Apart from the fact that Naruto is possibly the best kisser in the world aside from Ino."

"No, we can't agree on that."

"Oh?"

"He's the best kisser in the world aside from Gaara."

"Ah, well I can't yet confirm that for myself, so I'll have to believe you."

"That you will."

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I loved having doubles in the morning. It required less need for my brain to function so early. One set of books, one classroom, one teacher to deal with and one subject to try and fail to concentrate on. Perfect.

I was in an especially good mood today, probably due to the fact that Naruto was absent yesterday and this morning's double was dobe-free. I had actually gotten work done in English yesterday, remembering that Kakashi-sensei said most of the time he wasn't actually reading and that I had told him I never did anything.

Okay, that had nothing to do with it, whatever. Naruto wasn't there to distract me – happy? Good.

I felt my good mood slip a little as I realised that Ibiki-sensei was our teacher and I was currently three seconds late.

_Shit_!

I sprinted down the ramp and flew into the classroom just behind him, sliding into my seat beside Sakura, who tried to hide a you're-about-to-die grin directed at me. I know, okay?

"Uchiha."

I grimaced a little and turned to face the teacher with a blank look. It's never safe to show emotion around Ibiki-sensei – he'd twist it into something reprimanding and find a way to give you detention.

"Hai, sensei?"

He glared at me, and I will take this opportunity to say that this is another thing that can scare the absolute crap out of me aside from Gaara when he's mad. If you ever have the misfortune to meet my history teacher, run away as fast as you can.

"You're late."

Yes indeed I am, but I won't say it. Nope, silence is golden.

"Stay back after class."

Oh, dear God. I'm going to die.

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I was still alive, much to Sakura's surprise, but I was no longer in a good mood. At all. You see, Ibiki-sensei kept me in during recess, making me miss out on food (I'm a growing boy – I _need_ to eat) and be late for science, earning myself a detention from Iruka-sensei.

Shikamaru leaned in towards me as I slumped into the spare seat next to him and whispered, "If _I_ can make it here on time, I'm sure you can."

"Shut up, pineapple," I growled.

He scoffed and sat up straight again, doodling absently on the paper. We both tuned out completely, relying on our subconscious to absorb the information as we so often did.

When I came back from my delightful reminiscing of Friday night, it was to hear Naruto shout into my ear, "Oi, teme, quit thinking about me and get off your arse!"

That woke me up. I started a little and stood up to glare at him, grabbing my prac book and a pencil. "What makes you say I was thinking about you?"

He rolled his eyes and led the way to he bench as he said, "You were drooling."

I was not! …I think. I quickly swiped at my mouth just in case, horrified at the possibility, and tried _really_ hard not to break Naruto's neck and kill him when he saw me do it.

"What, you really were thinking about me? Sheesh. I'm flattered, but just a little creeped out."

"Funny, dobe. Funny."

He snickered and leant across me to grab the beaker and the bottle of whatever chemical we were using. Wait…

"You know what we're doing?"

He shrugged at me and put on the dorky clear glasses that we all had to wear. I reckon that's the number one reason for me hating science. The second being Naruto, and the third being that it was probably the only class I struggled a little with. I mean, who cares how many protons, neutrons and electrons (hah, that's a song) there are in an atom thingy? Does it even _matter_? The answer is no. No it most certainly does not and I couldn't care less if my life depended on it.

"You_don't_ know?"

Pfft. "Of course I –" Ooh no. Damn it!

He grinned at me and clapped me on the back.

Please don't touch me – I may _finally_ give in, tackle you to the ground and kiss the life out of you. Again. Please?

"I knew you were thinking about me."

Bounce back, Sasuke, now's your chance. "Yes, I was actually."

He cleared his throat a little nervously and carefully measured out whatever chemical. It looked a little like water. "Well, I was just kidding around, but –"

I smirked and cut him off. "You want to know _what_ I was thinking about you?"

His eyes flickered to me nervously, but suddenly he was confident again and he side-stepped towards me with a seductive smile. HolyfreakingJesusGodno. Don't smile at me like that.

"Sure I do… Sasuke." His voice was low and I suppressed a shudder. _That_ voice.

I leant towards him just a little, and gave an inward cackle as sheer terror flitted across his features before being pushed away by a look of careful interest.

I dropped my voice to a low, seductive whisper. "I was thinking about how you _moaned_ my name, about how you kissed me and let me push you onto the bed. The way you –"

"_Okay_, I get it. Just…" he glanced around nervously and stepped away from me again. "You know it was just fooling around. No need to talk about it, especially in class."

I raised an eyebrow and stepped around him to get to the cupboard and find the test tube rack, taking special care to breathe on his neck and touch his back as I walked past. He slammed the beaker onto the table and gave a frustrated sigh/grunt-thing while I laughed my evil laugh and clapped my hands, dancing around in my head.

I brushed his arm as I stood and placed the rack on the bench, smirking as he directed a growled "_Kuso_!" towards the ground.

I leant forwards and whispered in his ear. "I believe _that_ is called ownage." (2)

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I slammed my locker shut with a scowl and stalked towards the science lab. Once again I'd gotten kicked out and had to go chase up my work. If Naruto wasn't so annoying I wouldn't need to hit him, simple as that.

He kept making all these suggestive comments to me the whole class, leaning over me and brushing up to me and just… ugh! He _had_ to know how I felt, he just had to. There was no way he could act like that and _not_ know. Unless he just found this sick pleasure in torturing me. I mean, who would – don't look at me like that.

I had the upper hand for a little while, but he got over things really damn fast, and rendered me entirely speechless for the rest of the class as payback. It had been good while it lasted though. It wasn't often that I managed to fluster him.

But then after all that, he completely ignored me throughout sport and hung around Kiba the whole time, leaving Shino and I standing dejectedly off to the side watching with mild amusement as Tenten tried really hard not kill her 'friends'.

I burst through the double doors of the science building and saw one of our newer teachers on her way out.

"Excuse me, sensei, but could you tell me were I might find Iruka-sensei?"

She gave me a nervous smile and said in a quiet voice, "He's in his office, but he's not –"

"Thanks," I interrupted and walked away, not caring what she was about to say. Rude, I know, but I really needed to get home and – _oh God_.

I tried and failed to stop my face turning a horrifying shade of scarlet as I whirled around and slammed the door shut behind me, squeezing my eyes closed as tight as I could, as if forcing out the mental images. The only words that seemed to make sense in my mind at the moment were 'Iruka', "Kakashi', 'loud' and 'desk'. Fill in the gaps.

I took a deep breath and made sure my blank mask was in place as I waited until all noise stopped behind the door before knocking. A_very_ red Iruka and a sheepish Kakashi, both looking very mussed up, opened the door and smiled weakly at me.

"Uchiha, what do you want?" Iruka-sensei's voice was quiet and I was amazed he didn't stutter.

Kakashi leaned against the doorframe with a lazy grin and said, "Did you want some tips? I'm sure Naruto would –"

"I wanted today's worksheets please, Iruka-sensei," I said loudly, cutting across Kakashi's perverted and extremely embarrassing comment. I did not need 'tips' thankyou very much, and Naruto sure as hell didn't either. But I'd die before I admitted that to them.

Iruka-sensei glared his best (meaning it was absolutely abysmal) at Kakashi before hurrying out of his office and into the classroom. I didn't bother following, knowing he'd come back anyway, and so stood in an awkward silence with Kakashi-sensei.

I was still trying to get rid of those mental images. I mean, seriously! I walk in on my brother two days ago, then on two of my teachers? Had I done anything horrible in this last week that resulted in incredibly bad karma?

I was quite happy standing there in the awkward silence, Kakashi smirking at me in his pervy way, when he just had to go and break it by saying, "Are you sure you don't want any tips? Naruto is new to this whole game, you know, maybe he needs a little helping out."

I couldn't help it. I snorted. It's a great feeling when you know something the teacher doesn't.

His smirk grew even more sinister and I eyed him warily. "Huh, he doesn't need help after all. Good man, Sasuke."

But the feeling doesn't normally last long.

I was saved from an answer when Iruka-sensei came back, still frightfully red, and thrust the papers into my hand, all but shooing me out the door and shutting it in my face.

Well, someone's eager.

I shook my head with a small smile and couldn't help thinking that I really should have let that young teacher finish her sentence before. I walked out of the science block, squinting my eyes against the sunlight. I didn't bother looking for Gaara or Shikamaru – they'd both be gone by now. But sometimes I liked walking on my own. Occasionally I needed time to wallow in my own thoughts, and today felt like one of those days.

I prepared myself to do exactly that, thoughts already heading to Naruto and who the hell he liked, but was interrupted by frantic whispering.

To get out of our school, you have to walk down a driveway type road which runs next to the main building and past a little garden that sits behind it, then out the gates and down the hill and wherever you want to go from there. These whisperings were coming from the garden area behind the main building, so there was no avoiding walking past whoever had decided to have a quick snog in the bushes before they had to have a sorrowful parting and not see each other for, oh let's see…twelve hours? Pfft, have a cry.

So I glanced, my natural curiosity getting the better of me, promptly forgot how to walk and stumbled on my own foot.

I stared and regained my balance, mouth hanging open as I patiently waited for my eyes to send the image to my brain and make some sense of it all. When I processed the scene before me but still couldn't make sense of it, I realised I was going through what one might call 'shock'. Now, there are not many things that can shock me (well, there are, I just have the sense not to show it half the time), but seeing Hinata and Tenten having a bit of fun together was definitely up there. Actually, make that a _lot_ of fun. Well, this was certainly an interesting turn of events.

I double-checked, just in case my reliable eyesight happened to fail me, but no, I was right the first time. Hinata and Tenten were certainly having a good time. This was the third couple I'd caught out in as many days (my brother technically being on Saturday morning), and by far the most unexpected. As far as I knew Hinata was straight.

…Whoa, they were kissing like there was no tomorrow – who would've thought?

I would have smirked to myself and just gone along my merry way had the sudden memory of Gaara's confession to me over a month ago not come back full-force and threatened to make my head explode if I didn't do anything about it.

So I coughed politely and tried not to smirk in too much of a know-it-all way as Tenten's hands removed themselves from Hinata's thighs quick as a flash, and Hinata's appeared at her side after having what I'm sure was a delightful adventure up Tenten's sports top.

I hid a conspiratorial grin and folded my arms as I walked towards them. "Having fun, are we?"

They both shifted nervously and Hinata twiddled her thumbs. They must be_really_ strong – she does that all the time. She could probably gouge out someone's eyes, they'd be that strong from all the exercise. What a way to die – eyes gouged out by the meek and stuttering Hyuuga Hinata. Wow, I got really off topic just then.

Tenten was the first to compose herself (Hinata would probably have a mental breakdown sometime soon) and she grinned at me.

"You don't want to go into battle with a weapon you've barely used, yeah?"

Hinata made a spluttering noise and started choking on air. I patted her on the back in a rare act of concern as I quirked an eyebrow at Tenten, waiting for an explanation. In my opinion, that was a very strange thing to say after you've been caught making out with someone.

She shrugged. "Hinata needed help."

I snorted. "Didn't look like it."

Bun-girl rolled her eyes and rubbed Hinata's shoulder comfortingly as she struggled to grant her lungs air again. She was fire-truck red as she glanced up at me, thumbs twiddling away. I smiled down at her but she just flinched. I suppose smiling wasn't the best option. It didn't happen very often, and when I did it was usually because I found something _very_ amusing. That something almost always involved someone else's serious misfortune.

"You're such a prick, Uchiha."

I stayed silent, clearly agreeing.

"Hinata needed help and I agreed. There's nothing else to it."

"Except for the question about what you were actually helping her _with_."

She folded her arms. "I already said it. You don't go into battle with a weapon you've hardly used."

Then it clicked. Hinata needed to know how to kiss, and the logical candidate was Tenten. They were close friends, she was bi and sure was well-trained in that department. That meant Hinata wasn't having a sexuality crisis like Naruto, it meant she liked someone… Someone also liked her…

I smothered a grin as I nodded in understanding at the both of them and gave a little wave, turning away and walking out of the school grounds.

As much as I hated to admit it, I had a call to make.

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I noticed a great number of things when I walked into maths class the next day, the first of which being that Gaara looked embarrassed and a little angry, and the second was Hinata sitting directly behind him and staring _very_ intently at the table, her face as red as a tomato. The third thing that caught my attention was Asuma-sensei was smoking yet again in a classroom full of students despite his… oh, hundredth warning?

The fourth was Sai practically undressing a girl with long black hair and sitting next to Hinata with his eyes. I had no idea what her name was, which meant it probably wasn't worth remembering, but that didn't stop me smacking my look-alike in the head as I walked past.

Number five was that Neji seemed to be talking to himself and stabbing his book with his pen angrily. I sent my prayers out to whoever happened to be on the receiving end of his wrath, thanking whatever God was up there that it wasn't me.

The sixth was that Shikamaru was asleep before the class had even started. Honestly, for someone in an advanced class, he certainly showed no enthusiasm. Although, I suppose, who ever goes 'woo, maths!'? (3)

I would count Shino as number seven, but as he wasn't actually doing anything (hell, it didn't even look like he was _breathing_), I'm not going to.

So the seventh thing I noticed was that my partner in crime was sitting at her desk with a very satisfied smirk plastered across her face. Brilliant.

She glanced up at me as I dropped my books beside her, sitting in between her and Gaara. I raised my eyebrows at her and she nodded. We shared a smirk before I turned to Gaara and took note of his mood before I spoke. What I had to say would make him happy regardless, but that didn't mean I wasn't a little nervous.

Just as Asuma-sensei waved the smoke out the window and made his way to the front of the class to teach, I calculated that he seemed to be only mildly pissed and so took my chance.

"I did it."

He glanced up, blank greeny blue eyes glaring into my own dark ones. Ooh, that was a little unnerving. Don't blink – he can smell your fear.

"What?"

"I know about Hinata."

His wannabe-eyebrows furrowed at that, and his glare intensified. I didn't let any of my discomfort show on my face, however, and simply quirked an eyebrow in my cocky way and noticed that Sai was yet again staring at the girl. It made it all the more obvious that he had to lean around Shikamaru to do it, and it seemed Asuma-sensei thought so too.

"She's not going anywhere, shorty, but if you stare at her any longer you might bore holes through her head or get a slap in the face. Now stop gawking and listen up. So, now that we know – Nara!"

Shikamaru's head jerked up and he blinked lazily at the board, probably comprehending everything even though he'd been asleep right from the start. Damn him and his genius-ness.

I sighed, turning my head to the front where the teacher began ranting about variables. I tried so hard not to let my mind wander, but I couldn't help thinking about Naruto and what Kakashi had said. Iruka had seemed to be watching us a little more closely last lesson… oh crap! We were taunting each other yesterday! Aagh, now they would_definitely_ think something was up.

Forget about it, it doesn't matter. Back to those mind-numbing numbers…

Drone, drone, drone. Blah, blah, blah. This line here, that line there, add a couple of things, do some fancy equation and _bam_, there's your answer and oh yay we can go.

As soon as I stood and scooped my books off the table, Gaara put a hand on my arm and wrinkled his forehead at me. If he had eyebrows they would've been raised.

I shrugged at him. "If you don't ask her I'll kick your arse into next year."

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Believe it or not, Gaara and I are close friends. Not as close as Shikamaru, but close all the same. On the outside we hate each other (or at least there's a mild dislike), but I know that if either of us was in trouble, the other would be there to help out. This is the reason that I agreed to help him with Hinata, he tried to make Naruto realise he likes me, why he apologised, and why I forgave him rather than being a prick and letting him fret.

But it always pisses you off just a little when your help is thrown back in your face. It makes you wonder if they were even the trouble in the first place. He's lucky I'm smart and I don't usually waste my time on jealously, because for a second there I _really_ wanted to throttle him. I wanted to _kill_ him.

But I wouldn't be able to explain myself out of a murder and Naruto might've gotten suspicious at the reasons for my crazy temper. Too much fuss, really.

I should probably shut up and explain _why_ I despised and wanted to kill my psychotic redhead friend for a brief period of time.

Two weeks after Sakura and I had pushed Gaara and Hinata together (or tried to), my streak of walking in on people hadn't broken. In fact, it was the most cautious two weeks of my life. The day after I caught out my teachers as well as Hinata and Tenten, I walked in on Shino with his hands down Kiba's pants in the sports change rooms. The day after I stumbled upon Choji mauling Ino behind the shelves in the library.

I got a brief respite on the weekend, and nearly cried with relief when Kakashi-sensei didn't come into work, but then on Monday it was Naruto and Sakura in the science storeroom. I had to sternly remind myself that they were technically a couple like the rest of them, they had every right to devour each other's faces whenever they pleased… it didn't stop my gut clenching and the murderous thoughts, though. Tuesday was Sai and that maths girl he was staring at, Wednesday Lee and Tenten (about bloody time) and on Thursday I embarrassed the crap out of Asuma-sensei and Kurenai-sensei in the Japanese room. That was awkward.

No one seemed to be able to keep their hands and mouths to themselves, save a select few, and I was steadily getting more and more nervous as I opened doors and rounded corners. Catching all those couples in the act got me very frustrated, but luckily Gaara was there to help me release. No, not _that_ kind of release, you perverts. Just a lengthy snog and we went our separate ways.

Turns out he was there to help someone else as well, though it was a moment before I realised it was indeed helping.

I was walking home on Friday from an after-school detention (surprisingly Naruto-free), and, lost in my meandering thoughts, found myself in the park. It wasn't unusual; I often came here after school on a Friday. But what was unusual, was that in my clearing (okay, not mine exactly, but it was pretty secluded and I never saw anyone else there) there were two people. One was pushed against the tree while the other went vampire-style on his neck. One was wearing orange and the other black. One had blonde hair and one had red hair.

One was Naruto, one was Gaara, and I was _very_ pissed.

"What the hell are you doing?" I cried, folding my arms and mentally dropping to my stomach, beating my fists on the ground like a four year old. After I put Gaara through a blender, of course.

Gaara_knew_ how –swear- crazy I was about the –swear- blonde, yet he still –swear-

goes and kisses the –swear- life out of him in _my_ clearing? The –swear- nerve of him to even think of it! There was no way I could be blamed if I just so happened to slip and slam the –swear- redhead's –swear- face into the –swear- tree!

I took control of my anger, shoving it back down into that unwelcome place and slamming the door on it. It was a persistent little bugger though, but I eventually calmed down enough to think coherently.

I had to remember that Gaara and I had a mutual respect for one another and he wouldn't jeopardise our friendship (despite how corny it sounds). He also owed me one for helping him with Hinata, who he_still _hadn't found the balls to ask out yet. Naruto was at the experimenting stage… In fact, he was just about due for Stage Three. I nearly smacked my forehead at my own stupidity.

At Naruto's place, I'd told him how I made out with Gaara every spare chance I got and it was one of the ways I realised it wasn't a phase. He said he hadn't done it, but he must've taken it as a hint or an invitation or _something_. Ugh, me and my big mouth!

Naruto pulled away, and I was a little surprised that it was in fact Gaara against the tree and not the other way around. Gaara was a dominating bastard when you let him get carried away, and I would know. He yanked his t-shirt back down after Gaara's hands had launched an invasion underneath there, and did the standard awkward scratch to the back of the head and a lopsided grin that made me go a little weak at the knees.

"Uh…"

"What's it look like, Uchiha?" That was Gaara's scornful voice. I killed the anger again, using the same reasoning as before to calm myself.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, it _did_ look a little like Naruto was devouring you and forcing you to become one with the tree, but that might have just been my eyes playing tricks on me."

I directed a glare over Naruto's head at Gaara, who I suddenly noticed had a _very_ rare grin indeed spread across his face. He gave me a firm nod, pointed at Naruto and mouthed the words "He is so gay!"

I raised an eyebrow as Naruto bent down to pick up his shirt, both our eyes involuntarily following… Concentrate! No, not on his arse, on what the hell he's saying!

"… huffy, just because you're jealous." He straightened up again, and I saw Gaara's face fall just a little. He always was a bit of a perve.

I scoffed. "It was just fooling around, you said so yourself. Don't tell me you're getting attached?"

It was his turn to scoff as he yanked his arms through the sleeves of his… wait for it… _orange_ jacket. Surprise surprise. "Clearly I'm not, teme. But... oh crap!"

His gaze switched back and forth between Gaara and me, each of us with an eyebrow raised. Well, I'm sure Gaara would if he could. I really have to get the reason for his eyebrowlessness out of him one day.

"Guys… don't – don't tell Sakura. Sasuke, I know you're a downright prick, but don't tell her. I don't want her to get hurt or anything."

It's not like she'd care anyway. In fact, she'd probably squeal, jump around a bit, give him a big hug and tell him to 'go get 'em'.

"Whatever, dobe."

He turned back to Gaara, still frantic.

"I won't."

He sighed with relief and stood a little straighter, swinging his forgotten pack onto his shoulders and waltzing out of the clearing with a "Catch ya's at school!" thrown over his shoulder.

I looked at the very pleased redhead, who smirked at me and crossed his arms. I stepped towards him, completely blank, stopping was I was right in his face. I wasn't expecting him to apologise and I wasn't really expecting him to say anything at all, but I _really_ wasn't expecting him to lean forwards and plant his lips firmly on mine.

I made a muffled 'ngh!' of surprise as he pulled away just as fast. What the hell?

"What the hell?" Good boy, thinking before you speak.

"I haven't asked her yet because she's been sick and I haven't had a chance, but I appreciate you helping me."

I scowled and he shrugged, moving forward and nudging me with his shoulder as he began walking out of the clearing. I shoved my hands in my pockets and followed, still scowling. He knew what I meant.

"And you looked too good to leave alone."

"I always look like that." What? It's true.

He sighed as we stepped through the trees. "So does that clear the debt for Hinata?"

"I guess." I still wasn't happy with the fact that he'd kissed him, but… whatever. It was all a collective effort to make Naruto embrace his orientation.

Huh, fancy way of saying 'get as many people to make out with him as possible until he _finally_ accepts he's gay'.

"You know, I wish more guys would get all confused like you two. It's so much fun."

See, told you he was a pervert.

* * *

**(1) **How many times can I use the word 'thought'? Aeigh, sorry! 

**(2) **Damn straight it is. I'm so proud of you Sasuke! You're _finally_ toying with him! –happy dance- Even though I'm the author and so technically control you…

**(3)** If you have actually done this… -shakes head sadly- There is no hope

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Are you still alive? Good, because I'm not. I've said it before and I shall say it again – this chapter was a BITCH! Still, I hope you're alive and well and not dying of boredom or some such ailment. I applaud you for not giving up! –applause-

Now, could you please review? That button looks awfully inviting, doesn't it? I'm hoping to top 100after this chapter XD -not-so-subtle hint-

WY


	11. Suicidal Tendencies Are A NoNo

100 REVIEWS! Well, 103, but that just makes me feel even awesomer. XD -partyyyyyyyyyyy-

I'm sorry this took so long! We don't get our internet back until the 9th and I just started a new school in the city, so it's all been a little hectic. I'm using a computer at my mum's school, and I made a special effort to be home on time to deliver this new and potentially exciting chapter to you all XD.

Things are happening!! WOOT! This chapter and the next are 'setting up chapters', where crucial things happen here that will matter later.

I apologise profusely for the total lack of humour or the really lame attempts – it just wasn't working for me. Blah. I thought Shikamaru was getting a little lost within the story, so here he is, back again! –grins- We missed you, Shika love.

Oh, and I got a review mentioning something about why they're so sexually forward for year ten kids, but it's cos we aaaall know how dirty the teenage mind can be and I'm getting a lot of inspiration from my old school friends when they were drunk... Or not drunk, actually. Man, that makes it sound like they're all whores. Heh.

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

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11. SUICIDAL TENDENCIES ARE A NO-NO

As soon as Gaara turned right and I went left, each going home, I whipped out my mobile and flipped it open. My fingers worked with practiced ease as I sent my pink-haired partner in crime a message.

**Your boy was having fun with Gaara in the park today. Are you proud? He said not to tell you so, naturally, I am. **(1)

I smirked a little as the 'send' icon came up as confirmation that it was indeed flying in little particles through the air as I walked, making its way towards Sakura's phone. I put it back in my pocket, knowing I wouldn't get a reply until later tonight because she was working. She understood that by 'having fun' I meant 'this close to ripping his clothes off'. I never really used 'having fun' in any other way, actually…

I turned down the little path that led to our front door. Our garden wasn't much, but on his days off Itachi liked to work in it, making our house look a bit more presentable.

Itachi was an actor, believe it or not, and a damn fine one at that. He still refused to do anything on television or film yet, so he was strictly on the stage. It suited him though, being so dramatic and all. I'd never seen him, but I'd heard people say he was pretty good. He had a memory like an elephant when it came to his lines (and only his lines), and being on stage seemed to relax him, lowering the chances of having an episode. Kisame was from the same theatre group as him (Akatsuki Performing Arts Company or something), and everything was organised so that they were in every show together. Someone had to be there in case Itachi went nuts.

Our house was small, but it suited us well. Less to clean, you see. Basically, you stand in the front door, take two steps to the right and you're in the lounge room. Go back to the front door, take two steps left, and you're in the dining room. Walk straight ahead from the front door and just before you reach the hallway there's the kitchen, separated from the dining room by a half-wall type thing. First door on the right in the hallway is my room, first on the left is Itachi's, and second on the right is the bathroom. The spare room is next to my brother's and the laundry's right next to the back door that leads to a small porch and our back garden.

Is our house small? Hell yes.

Both our jobs combined, though his paid considerably more than mine, helped to keep the house relatively well-kept. Our parents sent a considerable amount of money once a month to help us, but Itachi didn't know about that, and it all went into a separate account used only for emergencies. It was pretty much our laziness and general I-couldn't-care-less attitude that meant one thing or the other was always getting cut off.

I opened the door and kicked my shoes off as I hung my jacket up, stopping just short of dropping my bag as well when I saw Itachi staring at me in a mixture of shock and confusion from the entrance to the kitchen.

"Who the hell are you?"

What? I gave him a confused look, then noticed his blank eyes. Oh…

"I _said_, who the hell are you?"

I reversed a little, swinging my bag back onto my shoulders and heading back out. I stumbled a little on the doorway and he sneered at me. Play it right, Sasuke.

"I'm so sorry! I – I must have zoned out or something and – and come in here by mistake. So stupid of me! It won't happen again, I promise."

I gave a deep bow as he chuckled, advancing on me.

"You're damn right it won't happen again. Get out!"

I turned tail and ran, keeping my scared expression in place until I was out of his sight. As I rounded the corner I slowed to a stop. I didn't feel like going to the park, and it was way to cold to just go for a walk. I shivered a little, regretting leaving my jacket at home.

Great! I had work to do, too. The cafe pretty much took up my Saturdays, and we had exams coming up in just over a week. Sure it was only year ten, but my parents were exam-nazis and would give me a stern writing to if I didn't ace every single one of them.

I scowled at the ground and thought for a moment before I crossed the road and headed over to Shikamaru's, knowing he wouldn't ask questions.

It wasn't unusual for Itachi not to recognise me, and my pineapple-haired friend was usually the person I went to see when I couldn't get into my house. It's funny, most people can't get into their homes because they've left their keys behind or locked them inside. Me? I had an insane brother who didn't recognise me guarding the door. Great.

"Sasuke, what a nice surprise!" Shikamaru's mum opened the door with a wide smile, but it soon changed to a frown. "Come in, come in, you must be freezing! We haven't seen you here for a while, is everything all right at home?"

I gave a tiny smile and shrugged, walking forwards and she gestured for me to go inside. "Yeah, its fine, thanks." Except for the fact that he has no clue who I am at the moment.

She patted me on the shoulder. "You make sure you tell us if anything's wrong, okay?"

"Of course." I forced out a smile and followed her up the stairs towards Shikamaru's room. She glared at the door when we reached it, and turned a frustrated eye on me.

"He's been completely out of it for the past few days, shut up in his room. I don't know if he's studying or moping. Knock some sense into him, will you? He's dangerously testing my patience."

Oh no, that wasn't good. No one was that stupid, not even Naruto.

I nodded, thanked her again (though for what I wasn't entirely sure… not killing me, I suppose) and pushed open the door. I sighed as I took in Shikamaru's sleeping figure sprawled out on his bed.

I unceremoniously sat down on his bed, making sure to bounce it as much as possible. As I'd thought, it was a futile hope that this would wake him up. He was _Nara Shikamaru_, for Christ's sake, he wouldn't wake up if he was on fire.

I clapped my hands loudly next to his ear. Still nothing. How about yanking the pillow out from under his head? That earned me an uncomfortable grunt out of him, and I took it as a good indicator that he was indeed sleeping and not dead.

"Oi!" I shouted, getting as close to his ear as I could. "Lazy-arse!"

He shuffled a little and mumbled something incoherent under his breath. It was then that I noticed he had his hair out, and… oh my, are they the beginnings of dreads? I looked at him then, _really_ looked at him. His honey coloured skin had a slightly unhealthy tinge to it, and there were faint rings under his eyes. His clothes were rumpled and he looked a little pissed off at whatever dream he was having, but I couldn't help thinking that he still looked… well, pretty good, really. I always knew Shikamaru was attractive, but with his hair down and following my advice of getting dreads, he was even more so. But it didn't matter what he looked like, really. He was my friend and I didn't like that unhealthy skin colour.

We hadn't really spoken in a while, told each other what was happening. Well, he knew all about my dilemmas, but he never seemed to have any input. He looked a little upset, if the tiny frown at the corners of his lips was anything to go by.

I gave myself a sound mental beating for being such a crap friend and effectively ignoring him for the last couple of months. Really, all I'd done when we were together was rant and rant and get angry and complain and rant some more. Always about Naruto and never about him.

Well, today would change that if I had anything to do with it. Which I do, so it will.

I lifted my hand and gave him a beautiful sounding slap on the cheek, grinning evilly as his eyes flew open and a hand went to the abused side of his face to soothe it. He looked downright pissed and I prepared myself for a tirade of abuse with closed eyes and a little smile. He hadn't told me off in a little while… it wasn't right.

When no verbal punches assaulted me, I opened my eyes and stared down at him in confusion.

"Oh, it's you," was all he said.

Yes it's me, and I just slapped you like a girl. No comments? No hurt? Not an ounce of anger? Something was definitely wrong, and I'd been so wrapped up in Naruto and my own issues that I'd totally overlooked it. You really are a bastard, Sasuke. For once Naruto was right.

"Talk," I stated simply.

He grunted. "I prefer to listen."

Fine. If he wanted to listen, he was going to listen and he was going to listen good.

"You, Nara Shikamaru, are a lazy sod. All you've done these past two months is listen to me rant and rave about myself, and you haven't told me a single thing about you. What's happening at school? Anyone pissing you off at the moment – aside from me? Which teacher do you hate most? Why didn't you tell me you were growing your hair and getting dreads? How're things at home? And why oh _why_ are you pissing off your mum?"

I folded my legs underneath me and rested my chin on my hands, waiting for a response. I was painfully reminded that he was the only one who saw me for pretty much who I really was. Sakura was starting to see more of me, but it was mainly the cold manipulative side (that most people saw) with a bit of the romantic and I-care-about-my-friends side. No one else saw as much of my personality as Shikamaru. Said lazy-arse had closed his eyes and leant back against the pillow (damnit, he slept with two?), back in the same position as before.

"And don't pretend to be asleep, I know you too well to fall for that again."

He cracked open an eye then, sighing like a drama queen.

"I'm troublesome, tiresome, a total drag, a waste of time, annoying, and bothersome, I know. So don't waste energy telling me and just get on with it."

He rolled onto his back and laced his fingers behind his head as he so often did, and stared at the roof, still silent. Something really must've been wrong for him to look so uncomfortable. Usually being uncomfortable was too much effort for him. Most people didn't know how insanely smart he was because he could never be bothered opening his mouth and voicing his opinion. Yep, that's how lazy he can get.

Once again – you _bastard_, Sasuke. Crap Friend Award? Here you go. Thanks.

"Okay, but first things first. I would never intentionally piss Mum off; I'm not suicidal."

I nodded in agreement. "So why is she angry?"

He shrugged. "Dunno. Didn't bother to find out."

"Why not? Wait, I already know the answer, forget about it."

He smiled over at me and resumed his scan of the roof. I waited a little while for him to keep speaking (I mean come on, I'd just fired off a list of questions for him and he only answered one? Pfft), but when he didn't decided to prompt him.

"So when'd you start growing your hair?"

He shrugged again, thinking for a moment before replying, "I just sort of decided to."

"And the dreads?"

"You said they'd look good, and I trust your judgement."

"Oh I'm flattered."

We lapsed into silence again. Me impatiently fidgeting while I waited for him to spill, and him staring at the roof clearly very bored. I tapped his knee to get his attention, but he didn't look at me, knowing what I was asking.

"There's nothing wrong, Sasuke… We haven't really spoken since Naruto's, have we?"

"We haven't?"

"Nope, and you didn't tell me what your brother did, either."

I blinked stupidly. I always thought he was academically smart, not people-smart. "How'd you know?"

"You always get that dead look about you after he goes all crazy-eyes."

Oh… "Sorry, it – it honestly slipped my mind. Naruto can do that to a person, you know?"

He laughed a little. "Yeah, I know."

Another silence, this one slightly uncomfortable. I shifted a bit on the bed and restrained myself from chewing my nail nervously. I had a feeling something big was on his mind that he'd been thinking over for a while, and I really had to listen to him. If it was why he looked so… so gaunt, then I had to help him out. I was a crap friend, but I wasn't that crap. At least now, anyway. Finally he broke the silence.

"I've just been thinking a lot lately and you've been caught up in Naruto, Choji's still obsessing over Ino, and Naruto… yes."

Bastard bastard bastard!

I sighed a little and leaned back, supporting myself with my arms. I was never very good at helping people, but I had to say the right thing now or – _what_? Ooh no, why'd he drift off? No, Sasuke! Shikamaru first, Naruto later. He needs to talk and you need to listen, you self-centred twat.

"Thinking about what?"

There was a tiny pause, then, "I like Temari."

…_What_?! Whoa, Temari? That's crazy! I mean, she's way old for starters, not to mention she's _Gaara's sister_. This is the crazy woman who beats everyone up for the most menial things, who is seriously overprotective and scares the absolute crap out of everyone. Sure, I beat her in an argument once and we'd worked past the initial 'oh my god please don't eat me' stage so that we got along pretty well, but that didn't make her any less terrifying. And Shikamaru _liked_ her? That was just too weird for words. And all this time I thought he was gay…

"It's annoying, but you asked."

"Well, yeah, but – but I didn't think it'd be that. Are you sure you haven't gone suicidal? I mean, pissing your mum off and all, and now Temari?"

He snorted. "Crazy, I know."

"How did… how did that even happen?"

"We got talking at Kiba's party way back, and we catch up every now and then or see each other down the street. Mum's always asking me to get stuff from her shop so I see her a fair bit."

Temari owned a craft shop in the arcade that sold handmade fans and jewellery. It was actually good quality stuff and she made a lot of money out of it. Enough to support her and her two brothers along with Gaara's income, anyway, considering Kankuro was too busy doing… Kankuro-ish things to pay for anything.

"So are you gonna tell her?"

"You're calling _me _suicidal?"

I gave a nervous laugh, agreeing with him. Temari had an… interesting reaction to things that surprised her, annoyed her, or downright pissed her off. It usually involved a lot of pain. I scratched the back of my head nervously, then instantly pulled my hand away as I realised that was what Naruto did. Damnit!

"But I always thought you were gay." As blunt as Gaara, nice.

"I don't let gender get in the way of me connecting with someone."

"Which is a fancy way of saying you're bi." Smartarse.

He shrugged.

"And I suppose it makes sense…" It explained all that 'girls are so troublesome' stuff, at least.

More silence and conversation scrounging… I winced a little. I didn't want to bring it up – okay, that's a lie – but I just had to ask. "Why'd you drift off before when you mentioned Naruto?"

"A few reasons."

"Like…?"

He sighed, and I got the impression that he was either really uncomfortable or he just couldn't be bothered talking to me. I chose to go with the first one, not sitting well with the thought that he didn't want to spend time with me. If I didn't have Shikamaru as a friend, I would turn out like my brother. He was who I vented everything out to, and he always listened and helped me out. I'd have no one to talk to properly if he didn't want to see me. But then there had to be a reason for him being uncomfortable…

"Well for one he's pretty much all I hear about, he's been coming to me a lot recently and I've found out a lot of things, and damnit he can kiss."

… Silence…

Now now, Sasuke, decapitating your friend is not a wise option. You have no right to be angry. Naruto is experimenting and you already knew this would happen. Shikamaru is obviously not trying to take him away from you because he's just said that he likes Temari. And no, you and Shikamaru have been friends for years; you can't get replaced that easily. Just because Naruto's been talking to him doesn't mean that he's found someone else to spill to, Naruto just needed someone and you weren't there for Shikamaru so he seemed the likely candidate. Under no circumstances are you to murder your best friend for kissing the guy you like… _No_, Sasuke.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes for a moment, then said in a perfectly calm and reasonable voice, "What'd you find out?"

There, not so hard, is it? Take the attention away from the kiss and absorb your mind in something else, no worries.

Shikamaru shrugged for the hundredth time and moved his hands to rest on his stomach, which I saw was looking a little thin for my liking. How could I not have noticed any of this?

"Lots of stuff, really. He told me who he likes, what's happening at home, what he's scared of in terms of what he's finding out about himself, what's happening at school. You know, stuff you tell me."

My mind was in overdrive. He knows who he likes? What? I have to know! Calm voice, no need to get too enthusiastic or he won't tell you. Oh, he could go rot in hell, along with his ridiculously high IQ – I don't care, I want to know!

"You know who he likes?" Maybe a little _too_ enthusiastic there.

He rolled his eyes and shifted a bit so he could 'glare' are me. Though it wasn't a glare, it was clearly a stern sort of I-don't-tattle-on-my-friends-and-there's-no-way-you're-going-to-change-that look. No threats like the ones mine always held, just a slight warning. A warning that I took heed to.

I raised both my palms in surrender and shook my head. "Whatever, man, whatever."

A satisfied grunt. Yeah, yeah, you win.

"He said he'd tell you soon, anyway. He still has no idea how you feel, but he sees you as a friend who's helped him and has a right to know."

And mental dance starts… now. Woo! _Finally_ he'd dump Sakura on her arse and come to me like he's been wanting to for ages. Well, like I've been wanting him to for ages, but oh well. I was interrupted in my rejoicing by my phone singing at me from my pocket, delightfully telling the world that they were all vampires and their stories were stale. It's true.

"Ugh, hang on a sec. Hello?"

"Sasuke? Where are you? Are you staying back? Are you at the park? What's happening? I called Sakura but her phone was off. Are you working tonight? Why didn't you tell me? I saw your jacket by the door and I thought maybe you'd gone for a walk, but then I thought 'why would he go for a walk without his jacket?' because you know, its cold outside. Then –"

"Whoa, calm down. I'm at the Nara's, I'll be home soon."

He sighed with relief. "Oh good 'cause I was getting really worried over here – I had no idea where you were or if something happened to you. You gotta keep in touch with me, okay? Okay?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, will do. I won't be long."

I cut off another frantic response as I snapped the phone shut, shrugging at Shikamaru apologetically. He gave me a lazy knowing smile and said, "Itachi?"

I nodded, picking at the hem of my shirt a little awkwardly. I knew I should have talked to Shikamaru about what happened before I got to Naruto's, but I didn't want to ruin the mood. I was actually feeling good about life for a while there, and to bring it up would have destroyed it all. It wasn't like anything different happened anyway, it was only ever worth talking about when his after-mood was crazy angry and he got violent. It happened more often than not, too.

"Yeah, he didn't recognise me before."

"What's his mood change?"

"Incredibly overprotective and paranoid as all hell."

He laughed and I relaxed a little, standing up from the bed and straightening out my shorts. I looked down at my friend and saw that his cheek was still a bit red, and gave a guilty half-smile.

"Sorry about that," I gestured to the mark, "but you sleep like the dead."

"And don't I know it."

I laughed soundlessly and headed towards the door, swinging my bag onto my shoulder. I put my hand on the door handle and turned back to my friend, his eyes already closed and half asleep.

"Eat more, would you? Temari's not that scary. And… and talk to me when something's up."

He gave a noncommittal grunt that I took as a 'yes sir' and rolled onto his side, burying his head into the pillow. He really did look better with his hair down.

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**Of course I'm proud! We're having lunch at your café tomorrow, so I'll see you then. He has something important to tell me… Ooo! Maybe he's dumping me! XD! Xo.**

I smirked down at the screen, slightly put off by the fact that Sakura was pleased her boyfriend was going to dump her. I felt a little bad, though. She still liked him, despite what she said about only being in it to help him, and I could see it hurt her a little.

Ah well, what can you do?

But… that made it today that they were coming into work (Itachi lost my phone charger for a while, so it died last night and I didn't get the message until this morning), which meant the butterflies were having a field day in my stomach. They were giant butterflies, like huge overgrown _mutant_ butterflies, all going crazy in a make-Sasuke-as-uncomfortable-as-possible kind of way. Needless to say, I was feeling a little queasy.

If Naruto did break up with Sakura, then that could mean that he was either a) gay, or b) finally realising that interesting hair did not mean she was an interesting person. If he was gay then he might like me, but even if he didn't I was definitely in for a chance (he'd jumped me twice now). I was constantly reminding myself of what he'd said to Kiba, though.

_"I don't even know if I want _him_ in that way yet."_

So… maybe not _me_, but _someone_. And I'd bet anything that someone was a guy. And if it was some guy, I'd be able to win over Naruto… I had to.

I slipped my phone into my backpack and headed out the door, grabbing my jacket on the way out.

"Itekimasu!" I called over my shoulder. There was a muffled response that I didn't bother paying much attention to because it probably wouldn't have made much sense, and closed the door with a sharp _snap_ behind me. I set off out down our street at a brisk pace, pulling my black coat tight to protect myself against the wind. Shit its cold!

Nothing particularly eventful happened on the way up, unless you count spotting Gaara climbing a tree. When I saw him he'd given me this look that just oozed imminent death, so I wisely ignored him and went on my way.

The bell above the café door _ding_ed and coffee-girl, better known as Satsuki, grinned at me and waved me over with a tea-towel as I was engulfed by café warmth.

"What?" The picture of politeness, as always.

She just kept on grinning, though. "A cute blonde boy came in asking for you before." Her voice was that sickly sweet whining that grated on your nerves. "Come on, gay boy, who is he? Your new boyfr- oh!" Her eyes widened and darted to look at something over my shoulder. Already knowing what it was, I turned slowly.

Sure enough, there was Naruto, all orange and blonde, and Sakura, all pink and… was it red? Or magenta? I shook my head – it didn't matter. Whatever it was clashed horribly with her hair. Both had scarves and gloves and Sakura had a beanie of the same whatever-colour that looked awful with her hair. I might have to give her some advice on that one.

"Obviously not," Satsuki murmured into my ear. Whatever, coffee-girl.

I ignored her and stalked towards the back room, thankful that neither of my friends noticed me. I pulled off my t-shirt and changed it for the standard black button-up shirt that we all wore, and took a deep breath. When I opened the door that lead back out to the café, I saw that coffee-girl was smirking at me from behind the machine, and Sakura had noticed me. Thank God Naruto had his back to me.

I shook my head firmly at Sakura and turned to Satsuki, very wary.

"You're on tables as usual, but from two o'clock you're going dish-pig. Fatty's got some family thing and you're covering for him."

'Fatty'. Nice. But there was more, I could tell, and I knew I wasn't going to like it as her smirk got even more sinister.

"You've got tables eleven to twenty, but you're also taking their one. Aki and Hiro will leave that one alone for you. Okay? Now go."

I was dismissed, as easy as that, and it got me in a bad mood. No prizes for guessing which table 'their's was. I stomped over to Sakura and Naruto, smirking a little as Naruto jumped when I spoke.

"What do you want?" Don't look at Naruto, don't look at Naruto. It doesn't matter that he looks downright edible in a tight black top and the same jeans he wore to Kiba's, you cannot under any circumstances ravish him while you're at work. Oh, and while his girlfriend is right in front of you. That might be considered 'rude'.

"Now now, Sasuke, that's no way to treat customers."

I glared at Sakura. Cow. "You're right, I apologise." I love sarcasm. "Would you like some coffee to start off with?" Don't look at Naruto, don't look at Naruto.

While I was trying desperately to keep my eyes off him, Naruto was quite openly staring at me. I knew I looked good in my work clothes, and yes I do love to be looked at, but really, it was a little disconcerting.

Sakura seemed to think so, too, because she cleared her throat and said, "What do you want, Naruto?"

He blinked a couple of times and tore his eyes off me to look at the menu that either Aki or Hiro must have brought them. He kept glancing back at me, though, so I played with the collar of my shirt and rested most of my weight on the one leg, sticking my hip out a little. Now, didn't that work wonders? Don't look at me like that, Sakura, I know what you're thinking and I really don't care.

"I just want water, but I'll have a – oh no."

Sakura glanced up at him from her own menu. "What's the matter?"

He stared blankly down at the menu. "You… you don't have ramen."

Oh gosh, what's the dobe gonna do without his ramen? Baha. "No, we don't. You might actually have to use your tastebuds for a change, how does that sound?"

He grunted at me and asked for whatever I thought was good. I hate it when people do that! Just because I like it doesn't mean you will, people.

Sakura asked for the same, I cursed inwardly, wrote it down, took their menus, chucked them back on the counter, gave the order out back, and went around to my designated tables. The whole time I tried my hardest to ignore that seemingly glowing boy in the far corner by the window, and was just waiting for the crunch time.

I only had to wait half an hour, and while I was taking the order of an extremely deaf old man who looked like death had come to his door several times but he couldn't hear the doorbell to come running and so _just_ missed him, a somewhat muffled squeal came from Sakura and Naruto's table.

Luckily I was only three tables away, and so heard everything they were saying.

"You're _what_?"

Naruto was franticly trying to calm her down, reaching out for her hand. "Please, not so loud. Baby, you know you're gorgeous, but I can't help it. I'm really sorry, honestly I am."

I had to hand it to her; Sakura was a good actress when she needed to be. She even had the waterworks going... Though maybe they weren't entirely fake. But I could tell she really wanted to give him the kind of hug that threatened to force your intestines out your mouth and squeal into his ear that she was so proud of him.

"I – I can't believe this! You… you're breaking up with me?"

Hell yes he is!

Several loud curse words, a truly embarrassed Naruto, an entire café watching Sakura storm out with her now ex-boyfriend following, a _very_ pleased Uchiha Sasuke and a couple of hundred dishes later, I was walking through the park with a smirk fixed in place.

_Finally_ they'd broken up. _Finally_ the dobe accepted he was gay. _Finally_ I was getting closer to making him mine. Although I didn't see why Sakura had to get mad at him – why couldn't she have just had a perfectly normal reaction (for her, at least) and done the squeezy-death-hug thing? I suppose that wouldn't be what Naruto was expecting though, and so chucking a tantrum seemed like the predicted response. Better not confuse the boy; he might have a brain meltdown.

I scuffed at the ground with my shoe and slung my backpack onto the ground, sitting down heavily on the bench. I watched the little children squealing as they swung and jumped and climbed and fell, either crying and screeching for their mothers or laughing and jumping straight back up to do it again. Kids were weird like that.

I was stewing in my own thoughts until the sun began to set and I was getting mighty cold, when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I checked the screen, frowning. I hate silent numbers. I pressed the hang up button, figuring that if they didn't want me to know who they were then they can't have wanted to talk to me that much.

Less than a minute later it rang again, and I hung up again. After the third time, I got a message.

**Answer ya damn phone, teme!**

Crap! It was Naruto? I took a deep breath and calmed my racing heart, waiting for him to call me back. I wasn't going to call him – I couldn't afford it. Whereas Naruto lived in a giant house with rich relatives, so he could definitely afford it.

When my phone vibrated for the fourth time, I paused a second before answering, telling myself to stop being a coward and just answer the damn thing.

"Dobe."

"Hey, teme, what's up?"

"Is there a point to this call?"

"Sheesh, so cold. What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Seeing you, by the sound of things."

"That you are. Park at, say… well, I don't usually come to life until around noon, so two-ish?"

"Fine."

"Oh, and sorry for the – uh… yeah, sorry for today. At the café. I didn't know she was gonna blow up like that."

"It doesn't matter. Free entertainment."

He gave a short laugh. "Yeah, I guess. Well I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah."

"And teme?"

"Hm?"

"Lighten up."

The dial tone rung in my ear before I could answer. Baka.

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I walked into the kitchen warily, not having seen Itachi all day and therefore not knowing what mood he would be in. Perhaps he would be normal – well, normal for him, anyway. I hoped so.

He was standing at the sink, staring out the window. His hair was tied back like normal, and the way he was standing told me instantly that he was indeed in his usual mood – grouchy, cold, angry and superior.

It was how he always was before he went nuts, except back then he'd have his moments of brotherly love and give me a piggy-back in the park or something. I was too old for that now, but it seemed that part of him had been shot off anyway.

He heard me walk into the kitchen and turned to face me, glass of water in hand. He regarded me with his cold look, and I got a little uncomfortable. I stared back at him though, unwilling to show fear in front of him.

But he said nothing, just breezing past me with a cold 'hn'. He was almost the perfect Uchiha, my brother. He was working his way up in his theatre company, getting more and more main roles, performing at bigger theatres, doing sell-out shows. And I was still in school, living in my insane brother's shadow. If he hadn't gone crazy then he would definitely be the ideal Uchiha son. I was kind of thankful sometimes that the personality part of his brain had deteriorated, but most of the time I felt sorry for him.

Then I'd feel stupid for feeling sorry for him, and I'd be cold and indifferent, just like him when he was normal. Uchiha's never wanted people pitying them. It was a dent in our pride.

I got myself a glass of water with a frown, hearing Itachi's door snap closed, and flicked on the light as I wandered into my room. I sat at my desk, tapping my fingers on the dark wood absently, thinking about nothing in particular.

I felt vaguely empty. I was nervous about tomorrow and seeing Naruto, I was excited that he and Sakura had finally broken up, I was anxiously awaiting the call that I knew would come from my pink-haired friend and I was worried about how long Itachi's 'normal' mood would last, but over all of that was this general feeling of unease in my stomach that I couldn't quite pinpoint the cause of.

I searched in my desk drawer for a pen, wanting to draw until I calmed down and sorted out my thoughts. But instead of my fingers clasping a pen, they came across a dark blue envelope.

I'd forgotten about that letter.

I scowled at it, hoping to burn it with my eyes. Oh, if only.

Just get it over with, I told myself.

_Dear Sasuke,_

_How's school? How are you coping? _

Of course, straight to my education. Don't they ever want to know how I'm coping with an insane brother to look after? Don't they think that'd have more of an impact on my life?

_We both hope you're keeping up with your studies. You have to start thinking about your subjects for years 11 and 12. Your father and I think you should do history, legal studies, business management, English and keep your advanced maths. As well as your compulsory Japanese, of course. __It will give you a well-rounded education, and there is no point wasting time on useless subjects such as art and physical education. But you know what works best for you, dear, we just hope that you will take our advice into account._

Pfft, more like orders. The fact that they thought I should do those subjects pretty much meant that I would do them no matter what, no matter how much I hated them. And as if that was a well-rounded education! I scowled at the thin, crisp paper and read on.

_When will you come to visit? You can tell your brother that it's a school trip if you like, and we will pay for the airfare of course._

Always 'your brother', never 'Itachi' or 'our son'.

_We miss you, Sasuke, and your father would like you to see our new branch here. It is successful, of course - how couldn't it be with Fugaku running it?_

I could just imagine her fake smile and laugh here, while on the inside she was thinking how much she would love to be home, back with her old friends. I don't know why she doesn't just leave.

_He hopes you will take over him one day. Of course, you brother was going to, but since his illness-_

Nice way of putting it.

_- we have both decided that you will do to continue the business. But you have to keep your grades up and think hard about your subjects. Are you still doing your private karate lessons? You have to keep it up, or your father will be disappointed, it is very important to him. We will pay, of course._

Hn, quit that ages ago. I could still hold my own in a fight, definitely, and I usually took my sports classes seriously, but there wasn't much money to throw around between Itachi and I, so karate classes were a luxury and not worth dipping into the savings our parents sent our way.

_You must visit us soon, and bring the lovely girl that we're sure you've found. If you haven't, then time is running out, dear! Your father and I are looking forward to welcoming a beautiful girl into the family. But make sure she has the right background first._

Meaning 'if she isn't rich, forget it'. I could see straight through my parents. No matter how many times I told them I was gay, they'd just flatly ignore it and tell me to bring a girl home. My scowl deepened.

_Well, we must go; we have a dinner to attend. __We both love you so much, and hope that you are doing well and staying on top of your school work. Keep in touch and let us know when you're coming to visit._

_Best wishes,_

_Mother and Father._

I stared down at their kanji-written names in disgust. Everything they said was posed as a question, but I'd be stupid to think of it as such. They would be incredibly disappointed if I didn't do the subjects they wanted, and, as much as I hated to admit it, what I craved the most was for my father to be proud of me.

It had always been Itachi. He was always the top of his class, always got the awards, skipped a level, could speak fluent English before he finished school and was all set to take over our family business (we were pretty much the only bodyguard agency out there, having bought everyone else out) until he'd decided to gain several extra personalities and screw around with his memory.

So they really had no choice but to use me. I used to want to follow in Dad's footsteps (Dad was the head-honcho of Sharingan Protection) but that was prior to Itachi 'murdering' him, and now I wasn't so sure. It would bring in a lot of money, that's for certain, but… it wasn't me. I didn't want to follow in my family's footsteps. I wanted to be the one to do something different.

I dropped the letter on the ground and put my head on the desk, banishing the rebellious thoughts immediately. Itachi was dubbed the family failure because he had done exactly that. He had brought down the family's name and followed his heart with his acting. What if I wanted to do something in art, something that I was actually good at?

Well, whatever. They had my life mapped out for me whether I liked it or not, and even if I did want to break away from the Uchihan line, Itachi had already done it before me. It was nothing new. He'd beaten me without intending to. Again.

**_

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**(1)** I write all my texts using full words unless I'm scrounging for space, and Sasuke's too proper and stuck-up to shorten words, so that's why this isn't written all crap. Text-talk makes it hard to read, anyway. 

--

Sorry for the crappiness, or the shortness, or the shoddy ending, or the not-so-good writing, or something. The letters sort of come in and out of the story, there's not as much point to them as I originally thought, it's just showing more of Sasuke and whatnot. Yeah…

And wow, that last part was almost completely devoid of humour. Blergh. Eeeeeeeeee, next chapter's exciting!

I don't know how regular updates will be, or even if I'll manage one a week, but I promise to do my best. The next one should be up by next Saturday because I'll be at my dad's, but after that I have no idea. Dude, I'm up at 6 and get home at 4.30 every day. Aargh, so not used to it. But I will survive!

Review!

WY


	12. That Was Fast

YAAAY! I liked writing this chapter, even if the first section is a little wishy washy. I don't really like the way it came out, but it was surprisingly hard to write. Bear with me, please.

First use of the F-Word! –shocked- I don't like that word, but Temari does. **Full credit** goes to my totally awesome reviewer who we should all bow down to, **IceCreamXD**, for the whole Temari part. Kudos!

Aaaaand … -rubs hands conspiratorially over a cauldron- things are heating up, my pretties…

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

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12. THAT WAS FAST

I stuffed my hands into my pockets, hunching against the icy breeze. The air was cold while the clouds hung overhead, threatening to dump their lot on us all. If I had my dates right, winter started on … wait… today? Whoa, that was fast. The freak warm weather we'd had a while back was just that – freak weather. It was back to normal now, which meant scarves and coats. I hate winter. I look awful in big coats.

I had actually written a reply letter to my parents, saying that I would study whatever subjects they thought were best, I hadn't found a girl nor would I ever find one because, yet again, I'm gay, and that I thanked them for asking after my welfare (pity you can't convey sarcasm in letters). Living with Itachi was fine and I was enjoying it, but no, I had no time to visit. I realised after I'd just posted the letter not five minutes ago that I'd made the amazingly stupid mistake of writing that school holidays were coming up in a couple of weeks as well as our mid-year exams, which I was fully prepared for so no need to stress.

Looks like I'd be going to New Zealand for my holiday. Great.

I glared up at the clouds, just wishing that they would stop their taunting and _rain_, damnit. They did a good job of ignoring me right up until I sat down on my usual bench to wait for Naruto, and suddenly unleashed their burden.

Brilliant. The day Naruto asks to see me of his own accord and it rains. My hair is so screwed.

I scowled deeper into the collar of my coat, feeling a little like Shino without the glasses, and moved to stand under a nearby tree for shelter. I halted in well-hidden surprise as I saw that Naruto was standing there, and… oh goodness.

He's not wearing a single thing that's orange.

He had a big blank jacket on and zipped the collar all the way up, tucking his face in behind it to hide from the wind. His hair was a little wet and sticking out adorably at odd angles, making him look a bit like an echidna.(1) His jeans were the same faded ones he was wearing yesterday at the café, but were pretty much drenched until halfway up to his knees because of all the moisture in the ground. But still, he looked gorgeous. Of course. He was Naruto – when didn't he look gorgeous?

He grinned and pushed off the tree to stand up straight, dipping his head a little at the rain. "Hey."

"Hi." Stop staring, stop staring…

He looked at me a little awkwardly and pushed his hands deeper into his pockets, giving me a questioning smile. "What…?"

I shook my head, shrugging. "You're not wearing orange."

He laughed and I felt the corners of my lips struggle to curve upwards at the sound. How did he do that?

"Well, can't wear it all the time, can I?"

I said nothing and looked up at the sky. He seemed to get what I was hinting at and nodded his head.

"Yeah, park not such a great idea, huh? You can come back to mine if you want. We have a fireplace and I'm sure someone got it going."

I nodded quickly, not caring how eager I looked, and followed him as he walked out of the park. I was thankful that the coat was a decent length, otherwise I was sure my eyes would be drifting down to an inappropriate area to be focused on.

The rain fell steadily heavier as we walked, and by the end of the fifteen minutes or so to Naruto's house we were soaked. I glared at Naruto through my fringe that was plastered to my face. How does his hair stay up even when it's drenched? So not fair. Couldn't the clouds have waited?

Naruto was talking again. About what, I have no idea – I wasn't paying attention. I tried to, believe me, I did, but I was more concerned with my fringe that was desperately trying to stab me in the eyes in all its wet plasteriness.

I felt a jab in my shoulder, and turned to glare at Naruto just as we turned into his front garden.

"You're not listening to a word of this, are you?"

"You've really taken the saying 'silence is golden' to heart, haven't you?"

I made sure to be obviously sarcastic, due to the fact that he wouldn't know sarcasm if it was a two-tonne brick thrown at his face with a note attached reading 'Hey! I'm sarcasm!'

He gave me a blank look, poked me for being so vague and pointless, and resumed his yabbering as he opened his huge front door.

Obviously not.

"You want something to eat? I had breakfast about an hour ago, so I'm not hungry… actually, scratch that. Yes I am."

I shrugged and took my shoes off, saying, "As long as it's not ramen."

His face fell a little bit and I fought the urge to smile again. "Well, I don't really know how to cook anything else… Maybe Shizune can help. I'll be back in a sec, you can just wait on the couch or in my room or whatever."

He smiled again and sped off down the giant hall, and I was amazed yet again at the amount of rooms in the house and that he had actually memorised where they all were. I was used to my house. Small, neat, compact. Can't get lost. _And_ his was two floors. I wonder what's up there…

I wandered down the hall after him slowly, trying to remember the way to his room. Luckily for me it was simple and I had no trouble turning right at the end of the hall and going straight ahead, thankful that I didn't have to count doors in order to get the right one. I headed into his room and took a better look around than I had when I was last here. Back then I'd been rushed the first time, and after that I'd been very… preoccupied. In a good way. Definitely in a good way…

His walls were… cream, I think. I couldn't really tell, due to them being absolutely covered in memories, basically. There were photos of him with numerous people, such as Sakura, Iruka-sensei, Kiba, Hinata, and Tsunade and Jiraiya. There were group photos as well, and silly shots of some of us at school or at a party. There were tickets from concerts, plays and theme parks, as well as train tickets that he'd arranged in a strange pattern on the back of his door. Magazine cut-outs, random words, drawings, band posters, birthday cards, letters – everything.

I felt a little like I was intruding on his personal life, looking at his wall. It was filled with everything he could think of, clearly, and everything up there meant something to him. I briefly glanced over the letters and saw that there were a couple from Kiba when he was away in America, one from Iruka and a couple congratulating him on winning in the State Track Championships. Huh, I had no idea he did track. I checked the date. Oh, year eight and nine. That'd be why.

There were proverbs up there, some that I could tell he'd written, some corny, some deep and some downright confusing. There was his old headband with our school logo on it that had been torn during our fight. The one where I scarred his face.

My eyes stopped as I saw two photos beneath it, and I didn't bother fighting back my smile this time.

The first one was of me and Naruto lying on the deck, dripping wet after we'd been in the pool. I was smiling and Naruto had his head turned towards me, away from the camera. His hand was hovering just above my head, and I knew it was just before he ruffled my hair.

The photo next to it took a bit of scrounging to remember the circumstances, as Naruto was holding my hand and seemed to be just about to loop the other arm around my waist. I had a terrified expression on my face, and I could see Gaara and Lee at the edge of the picture, arms outstretched. Then I remembered that it was when I'd tried to escape and Naruto had leapt out to chase me, grabbed my hand to pull me back and thrown me straight at Psycho and Bowl-Cut, who failed miserably at catching.

I gave a tiny laugh at the memory, and nearly leapt out of my skin as Naruto said from just behind me, "Jiraiya took them. He said Tsunade wanted to change before they went to the after party dinner thing so they came back and were watching us for a while. The rest of them are on the other wall."

I nodded stupidly and looked at the wall adjacent to the one I was just scrutinising, and sure enough, there were at least twenty other photos of numerous people, all caught in the act of dunking, throwing, elbowing or failing to escape.

"I still stand by what I said."

I turned back to face Naruto, who had his arms crossed and an approving smile.

"What?"

"You do look better when you're smiling."

"Hn." Yet again, what was I meant to say to that?

He sat down on his bed while I stayed standing, completely fascinated at the other side of Naruto I was seeing. Not all the photos were happy, and neither were the drawings. There were song lyrics up there that, when compared to Naruto, made me want to cry. He was getting steadily more confusing as I got to know him, and I didn't know what to make of it.

"Shizune said she'd go out and get food for us 'cause she has to get stuff for Tsunade anyway, and all we got is fruit, ramen or leftovers from last night but Shizune said we couldn't eat them."

I felt like an apple anyway, so no dramas for me. I always considered it a challenge to try and choose a good one and avoid the bad. I told him what I wanted and continued drinking in the wall while he was gone.

When he came back he whistled at me and I turned, my quick reflexes acting before I could think and catching the apple he threw at me. I looked it over, scrutinising it and trying to guess if it was good or bad, and when I determined that it was indeed a good one, took a confident bite.

Yay for good judgement.

I smirked at Naruto, who gagged and spat out his bite into his hand.

"Ugh! I hate that!"

He scowled up at me and the deliciously crisp fruit in my hand, and made strange noises in the back of his throat that sounded vaguely like 'plergh' while sticking his tongue out. He always was an odd one.

"Why did you want to meet me?"

I was feeling a little out of place here, having only very rarely spent time alone with Naruto, and I wasn't sure I liked it yet. Jumping him was out of the question, sadly, but that was what happened last time and it had a vague sense of normality about it.

He held up a finger and shook his head. "Hang on, I gotta go get something else. This is rank."

He left the room yet again, leaving me to cackle inwardly at his misfortune, and came back with brand new shiny apple and a huge smile. It was then that I noticed he had shed his jacket, showing the t-shirt underneath. I rolled my eyes and groaned at his serious case of self-love. It was worse than mine.

"'I would do me'?"

He laughed and shrugged, swallowing his bite before saying, "Yeah I know you would."

"Funny, dobe."

He laughed again and sat down on his bed with a content sigh. "Kiba got it for me for my birthday last year. I love it."

Oh you would.

I copied him and removed my jacket, the temperature being considerably warmer inside than out, and sat next to him on the bed, one eyebrow raised. I took another bite of my apple, the crunch as my teeth broke into the skin almost lost in the sound of the steady rain on the roof one floor up.

"You said something about a fire." Hint, hint.

"Oh yeah! I forgot. Come on, it's in the front room." He stood up and waltzed out of the room, expecting me to follow. I did, of course.

"I hope Snake Man's not here," he mumbled, sounding more like he was talking to himself than to me as we walked. He stopped briefly and stuck his head into one of the numerous rooms, turned back to me and smiled.

I raised an eyebrow. "'Snake Man'?"

He shrugged and continued walking. "Orochimaru. But I don't call him that to his face, he'd probably eat me or something. He's_really_ creepy, but he's been friends with Jiraiya since they were kids. Tsunade doesn't like him much, but she puts up with him. He owns a bunch of theatres or something, and his acting group usually do crazy realistic horror plays. I can't remember what it's called… Akatsuki Performing Arts Company, I think."

I blinked, a little surprised. "Huh, my brother is part of that group."

He turned and gave me a sympathetic smile. "Poor him."

"…Why?"

"They do all sorts of creepy stuff. I've seen a couple of their plays and never want to go again. They're known for using live animals on stage, mainly snakes, and scaring the absolute hell out of the audience in weird ways."

Whoa. I honestly knew crap-all about Itachi's acting group, having never asked. But man, no wonder he liked working with them. My brother had always been a little creepy like that.

Down the hall, turn left, come to the entrance way, go left again into the living room, through the glass doors and into the front room. It was huge, like everything else in the house, and the fire place was no exception. Hell, even the fire was big, the flames reaching up high and disappearing into the chimney. I like fire… its pretty…

There was a huge bay window that faced out onto the street with cushions and a little bench underneath it. Opposite this window was the fireplace, complete with huge comfy couches, rugs and cushions arranged around it.

It was a nice room, and I couldn't help but relax just a little, letting some of my initial awkwardness go. It was neat and a little daunting, but comfortable and warm all the same.

Naruto flopped down into one of the armchairs with a sigh, calling out goodbye to Shizune as she left to go down the street. I stood at the window and watched as she ran down the garden path and around the front of the house to the garage, ducking her head against the consistent rain. I was _so_ not going out there until it stopped.

"I, uh, I just wanted to say thanks."

I turned around after Shizune's little black car went cautiously down the wet driveway, and sat down slowly in an armchair opposite Naruto, taking a moment to melt in his gorgeousness. The glow from the fire gave him that same ravish-me-now look that he had right before I had actually ravished him when we all stayed over, and let me tell you now, I was _this_ close to doing it again.

No, I told myself, now is not the time. No matter how damn well amazing he looks, it is improper to jump him when he clearly has to talk to you about something. Talk first, eat later. That's better.

"For what?"

"Well… you know how yesterday I broke up with Sakura?"

"Yes…?" Who's likes boys? Naruto likes boys!

"I – um… uh-"

"Just say it." Come on, you know you want to tell me.

He took a deep breath and looked into the fire, taking a final bite of his apple before throwing the core into the flames, swallowing, and taking another breath.

"Okay… I broke up with Sakura because I'm pretty certain that I'm gay now and I wanted to say thanks for helping me. Well, other people helped too, but you answered my questions and were the first to sort of make me realise, and yeah, it was fun. I mean, I might turn out to be bi or even completely straight, but for now the thought of girls is a bit iffy. Like, there's still the ones that make you go 'wow you're super hot' and all, but I at least know now that I definitely like guys too."

He gave a short laugh, interrupting his speech. It gave me a chance to translate into normal speed.

"When I was with Sakura I was torn between her and this guy, and now it's that guy and someone else. I'm still a little confused and not completely sure, but I don't think I need to go through any more 'stages' or whatever crap you were talking about at my place. I think know what I want, I'm just a little scared."

He went silent, and I waited a few seconds (translating time) before I replied. There was most certainly a party going on in my head right about now, but I did my best to hide my insane grin from him as I stared at the flames dancing around in the grate.

"I'm happy for you."

"You're never happy," he rudely pointed out.

"I am, I just don't show it. But I am happy that you can accept it now."

I saw from the edges of my vision that he had turned his head to face me, but I didn't trust myself to look at him and not smile stupidly in a very un-Uchiha-like way.

"Hey, it's nothing definite!"

I rolled my eyes, still not looking at him. "Whatever, dobe. Have you talked to Sakura?"

He turned his head back to the fire and watched the apple core that I'd just thrown in shrivel up and get eaten by the flames.

"Yeah…"

"Is she okay?" I didn't have to fake the concern in my voice. She hadn't called me last night like I thought she would, and I hadn't wanted to call her in case she really was upset and I was invading on her sulking time with Ino. Girls are delicate creatures when they're upset. Thank Christ I didn't have to deal with them much.

"She said she was fine, but I'm not that stupid. She sounded really upset. We were gonna catch up tonight so we could talk but I'd already planned to go out with Kiba and she wouldn't hear anything of me changing the day."

I had to talk to her. I had to make sure she really was okay. I may act cold and emotionless most of the time, but there were a select few people that I genuinely cared about, and Sakura was one of them.

I stood up with a badly concealed sigh and looked outside, seeing that it had finally stopped raining. Excellent. My now dry hair wouldn't get wrecked yet again. I was lucky I had this expensive gel that still worked after it got wet. I love expensive hair products. They make life so much easier.

Naruto glanced at his watch then leapt up with a shout of surprise. "Crap! 4 o'clock? Sorry man, I said I'd meet Kiba at 5 to grab some food and… talk. Bah, I'll have to apologise to Shizune when she gets back. Oops."

He headed out of the glass doors, not seeing my raised eyebrows. He still had an hour, and it only took about twenty minutes to get from here to Main Street. Konoha really wasn't a very big place. I followed though, needing my jacket if I was going back out into the cold, and came into his room to see him throwing numerous items of clothing onto his bed, obviously searching for something.

"What are you looking for?"

He threw an orange t-shirt onto the bed, followed by a black jacket. "Kiba's shorts."

I coughed to hide my reaction, which was… hard to describe. Confusion would be best, I suppose, but it didn't really do it justice. It was more of a why-the-hell-are-Kiba's-shorts-lost-among-your-clothes-and-not-mine type thing.

"Don't look at me like th- aha! Got 'em!" He lifted up a pair of denim shorts with red triangles on the back pockets and stuffed them into the bag on his desk. "He stayed over Friday night," he said by way of explanation.

My expression changed to just-as-bloody-well and I picked up my jacket, shrugging it over my shoulders. We walked out to the front door in silence, interrupted only by Naruto swearing at himself for forgetting and hurrying to scribble a note to Shizune. I glanced up at the sky, figuring I should probably piss-bolt home (in a very composed way) if I didn't want to get drenched yet again.

I stepped out from under the porch as Naruto said, "So yeah, thanks. Really, I mean it. But, uh…"

I looked over my shoulder at him, his confused little smile warming me up a bit in the cold. He really was too cute for his own good.

"What's up?"

He took a couple of steps forward to walk with me down the path and said, "Well… I was thinking that maybe – do you think I should tell him I like him?"

Yesyesyes! I've been waiting for you to say it for over a _year_ now, you fool!

"I thought you liked two guys." Keep your voice level, good boy.

He shrugged and did another confused little smile. "I do, but one more than the other. I still dunno if the other one's just a physical thing or not, but I think it is."

Just _tell_ me! I like you, can't you see that?

"Tell me who it is and I'll tell you if it's worth it." Pfft, 'sif that's gonna work.

He stopped walking as we came to his front gate, and gave me a thoughtful look. Or maybe it would work… He stared at me long and hard, and I raised an eyebrow in question. He folded his arms across his chest and gave me an odd look.

"Okay then, I'll tell you."

What? I raised my other eyebrow and noted his very determined expression. So when I try and help with the overall intention of gaining more for myself, he actually listens to me? Strange kid.

"But you have to tell me who you like and tell me first."

That surprised me just a little. I copied him and crossed my arms, doing my best to show my clear displeasure so that even a brick as thick as him could get it. There was absolutely _no way_ I was going to tell him. Even if he did like me, which he just _had_ to, I wasn't going to actually tell him how I felt. That'd be… logical? A relief? A damn well good idea that I should've paid attention to ages ago? Surely not.

"Jeez, you can just say no. No need to go all murderous-looking on me."

I was?

He shook his head with a sad smile. "You're hopeless, Sasuke. I guess I'll have to tell you first, but you promise to spill as well?"

I nodded, unable to say anything due to the fear of rudely giving Naruto back the apple I'd eaten earlier. That's how nervous I was.

"Okay, um… I think, well I'm pretty damn sure because I can't think about anything else, that – that I like… Temari?"

You wouldn't have been able to stop your jaw dropping either, trust me. What the _hell_? My God, he just tells me he's gay (well, almost) and then says he can't stop thinking about a girl? About _Temari_? Had he gone insane as well as Shikamaru? What the hell kind of sick twisted turn of events was that? I swear, I'm going to _kill_ whoever was putting me through this extremely slowly and with a lot of pain, and I was sure as hell going to enjoy every second of it. (2)

I opened and closed my mouth, too stunned to speak, and he gave me a weird look before looking at something over my shoulder.

Oh hell no.

I turned around and yep, sure enough, there was Temari Sabaku, complete with an overly large purple coat and black umbrella, a scowl set in place. And wearing a skirt. Hn. I felt relief flood through me at the same time as a need to have a stern talk with whoever was playing games with me. I nodded at her in greeting as she stormed up to us, and both Naruto and I took a wary step back. Everyone, say hello to the fourth and last person that can scare me. Or don't, either way. It'd be a wise choice if you don't, as judging by her current mood she would likely eat you.

"Hey, Tem, what are you doing out in the cold? And why the hell are you wearing a skirt?"

She glared down at Naruto, being a good head taller, and said with copious amounts of venom, "Some prick placed an order to be ready by Wednesday, but just rang and decided he wanted it tomorrow – to hell with my previous commitments or the fact that the shop isn't even open today, he wants it ready. Kankuro, the drunken shit, took the car last night and isn't home yet, meaning I have to walk. All my pants are in the wash so I have to wear a fucking skirt, and Gaara's being psychotic again and has his man-whore Hyuuga over, despite mine _and_ Drunken Fuck's warnings about having him in the house. So I'm freezing my arse off and have to go to work on a Sunday. That's what I'm doing out in the cold, Uzumaki, and that is why I am wearing a skirt."

Hyuuga's a man-whore? I thought he was over that stage…

Naruto gave her a sympathetic smile and bravely patted her shoulder. I was expecting Temari to grab his arm and rip it off.

"Life sucks, yeah?"

She rolled her eyes. "You can say that again." Then she noticed me awkwardly shifting my feet and gave me a wicked smirk. "But I can see I'm interrupting something. Go for it bitch. Catch ya round."

I was going to hurt her for that. When she wasn't so angry. She left me with a glare and Naruto with a painfully confused look, and a casual wave over her shoulder as she slouched around the corner. Well, now that she was gone, back to the original topic…

"Sorry, I – wait, did you think I liked _her_?"

Do not admit stupidity. "Dobe, you just told me you were gay. That would be very contradictory." Good.

"Oh yeah, der. Well whatever – tell me."

"But you didn't say who it was." Don't play shifty buggers with me, Uzumaki, you're no good at it.

"You promised you'd spill and I said first off that you'd have to tell first. I changed my mind. Now go." Okay maybe you are.

Come on, you promised. Going back on your word is something you don't do unless absolutely necessary, so don't start now. I didn't need a great deal of convincing. I opened my mouth to say it, _this_ close to spilling all, when the clouds decided to let go completely. Again. And I'm talking big heavy drops here, like giant, soak-you-to-the-bone drops. The kind that hurt. Just a little.

Perfect timing, really.

Sarcasm for the win.

I scowled up at the sky as Naruto wrinkled his nose with a grin. I sighed as he tilted his head back and opened his mouth, trying to catch some of the falling water. I watched him with a raised eyebrow, trying desperately not to smile, until he looked back down at me.

"You know, I reckon the rain knows exactly what you're trying to do and purposely avoids your mouth, just to spite you."

I rolled my eyes, turning on my heel with a wave of my hand and called over my shoulder, "Sure it does, dobe, sure it does," hunching my back against the drilling rain and heading home as fast as I could.

"Hey, you can't get away that easily!"

"Watch me!"

I had some thinking to do.

Or some aliens to kill.

Or some chocolate to eat.

Or _something_! (3)

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Sports class, it is widely known, is the opportune timeslot for perving. With mixed classes starting in year nine, we were used to the girls in our class giggling and pointing and whispering to each other, but it was still annoying. Sometimes I felt like turning around and shouting, "I'm gay, all right? _Gay_! As in 'I like boys' kind of gay, so back the hell off and _stay_ _away from me_!" But of course, that would cause a commotion.

So who wants to perve today? Tenten's buddies, by the looks of things. I could see them whispering and giggling to each other behind their hands (sorry, girls, it's not soundproof) as they stole glances at Naruto, Kiba and I. Yes, I knew they were looking at me. I've said it several times so I might as well say it again; I'm hot and I know it. And damn it all, Naruto was the sexiest thing alive – second to me, of course, no matter how much he begged to differ.

I heard snatches of their hushed conversation as Tenten sighed and tapped her foot impatiently, no doubt imagining all the gloriously bloody ways she could remove their limbs using a large assortment of weapons. Nice girl, Tenten. I smirked to myself as I heard what they were saying, and noticed Kiba and Naruto shudder violently beside me. Obviously they could hear, too.

"…hot, don't you think?" Yes, we all are, love. You're not a genius.

"Naruto… shirt… Sakura?" This sentence was a little harder to catch on to, as once I'd heard Naruto my imagination insisted on taking a little walk and not coming back until I reeled it in quite forcefully.

I heard Kiba give a snort beside me as Naruto sighed, head in his hands. I might have felt a little sympathetic if I'd actually heard what they'd said. One of them gave a small squeal as another girl said something to her with a grin and frantic hand movements. I was a little surprised and slightly peeved when Tenten smiled and gave the squealing one a push in our direction.

We all jiggled our knees nervously - well, Kiba and Naruto did. I was as cool as ever… despite the bead of sweat starting to form on my brow as she got ever closer.

She meekly stepped forwards in front of Kiba, crazily embarrassed as she stared at the ground, and Naruto and I didn't bother covering our sighs of relief. I raised an eyebrow. I could have _sworn_ she was going to go for Naruto. Or maybe it was another one who had mentioned him? I wasn't really paying a great amount of attention. They all had that same high-pitched whiny voice that grated on your nerves like fingernails down a blackboard.

"Uh… Kiba?"

Sucker.

He glanced up with a grimace, edging a little closer to Shino. "Yes?"

Her blush darkened and she scuffed her toe on the polished floor of the gym. "I – I was wondering if… if maybe you'd – uh – like to go out… some… time?"

Her voice petered out towards the end as Kiba's eyebrows rose to dangerous heights and he moved until he was practically sitting in Shino's lap. He pretended to think for a moment before turning to bug boy and cocking his head to the side.

"I dunno… Shino, how do you feel about that?"

The girl looked at them in total confusion. Oh, this was gonna be good.

Shino sighed and put a hand on Kiba's knee, squeezing slightly. "I don't think I like the idea of my boyfriend going on dates with girls."

Wait for it… and realisation kicks in… _now_.

"Your _what_? Your boyfriend? Y-You… Oh my _God_." Ooh, isn't it just wonderful watching their hearts break?

Kiba feigned surprise. "Well yes, didn't you know? I'm so sorry, Shino, I shouldn't have even suggested it. I'll have to make it up to you right away."

"Yes you –" He was cut off from further speech by Kiba's lips launching themselves at his own rather forcefully. (4)

The poor girl stood there, face contorted in disgust, before a loud snort came from my left and far off to my right, soon followed by howling laughter. As Naruto and Tenten laughed around me, I felt my shoulders shake a little.

Hold it, Sasuke, I don't think the world is ready to see you laugh. Your close friends are enough – oh great. There you go. Nice one, genius. Scare the pants off them, why don't you?

I let myself laugh, albeit quietly, but I laughed all the same. I saw Naruto look at me from the corner of my eyes and felt my heart rise as his grin widened and he clapped me on the back. Our eyes met for a moment and our laughter turned into nervous chuckling, suddenly awkward for some reason.

The girl turned back to Tenten, totally furious. Tenten stopped laughing and crossed her arms menacingly, glaring down the other girl. While she looked like she was cute and fun, she could pack a punch for someone who liked pink. Not saying people who wear pink are weak, I mean, I personally don't like the colour, but – I'll shut up now.

"You _bitch_! You knew, didn't you?"

Tenten shrugged and started walking over to us, trying really hard to keep the glare in place instead of a huge grin. She sat down heavily on the bench and crossed her legs, raising her eyebrows at the girl.

"I might've."

Squealy girl said some very rude words strung together in a very insulting sentence, and stormed away, taking her two very annoying friends with her.

We all let out a sigh of relief as they left and headed down the stairs, no doubt to the girls changing rooms considering it was after class. I don't think Shino would have consented to such a public display of affection if Gai-sensei was anywhere in the immediate vicinity. In fact, I don't think _anyone_ would agree to doing anything that could possibly relate to being 'youthful' while Gai-sensei was around.

I stood up and glanced back at the others, all still grinning, and noticed that Naruto was watching Shino and Kiba (who had finally broken apart) with a very… blank look. Was he even a little angry?

Oh come on, dobe. Just because the girls didn't choose you, doesn't mean you have to get upset. You already know you're so gorgeous it should be illegal, no need to use the girls to boost your already far-too-high self esteem.

He saw me watching him and looked up at my raised eyebrow, but just shrugged, standing up as well.

"Come on, lovebirds, bell went ages ago and I said I'd meet Sakura."

For the first time in ages my stomach didn't clench uncomfortably

I still hadn't called her. Yep, that's right. Uchiha Sasuke is afraid of calling his friend. I'm pathetic, really, but I had a lot of thinking to do, and ended up taking my frustration out on the aliens. There wasn't any time… Whatever, I was afraid. Of what, I have absolutely no idea, but I couldn't get rid of the uneasy feeling whenever I picked up the phone, so I thought it in my best interests to leave her alone. She did know it was coming, though. I don't know what she was so upset about.

Everyone mumbled a general agreement – we really had just been sitting there putting off going out into the freezing cold as long as possible – and started down to the change rooms. When we reached them, Tenten stood at the door to the female room and glared at it.

"…It's not doing anything, Ten."

She glanced up at me, clearly surprised that I'd shortened her name. Hell, _I_ was surprised. My eyes darted to Naruto for a second, and I cursed him violently in my head. He seriously was changing me into a different person. Maybe not better, but definitely different. Great.

"_It's_ not, but _they_ are."

"'They' being…?"

"The squealing girls. They're plotting something, I can tell."

Kiba gave a short bark of a laugh. "Just cut sick on 'em, you'll be right."

She raised her eyebrows at him, then curved her mouth into an evil, decisive grin. Well, someone was going down if they messed with her, that's for sure.

She nodded to us in farewell, took a breath, and opened the door to furious shouts and insults from the girls inside. They really needed a life if they got so worked up over Kiba being gay. I mean come _on_, it's not Tenten's fault.

We all sighed, Kiba and Shino exchanged cheeky grins (well, not so much Shino, but that was the general impression), and went into our own change room, where thankfully we were not screamed at the instant we walked in. In fact, there was no one in there. Oh yeah, the bell went. Yay for avoiding the cold.

As we changed, though, we could hear the insults coming in through the walls. Konoha Secondary might have been a fairly expensive school, but it was more science and humanities based, and the only sports that got a decent amount of funding were the weird ones like fencing and archery and rock-climbing. Therefore its stadium (the basketball, hockey and netball courts) weren't given much attention. Hence being able to hear every sniff and cough from the next room as if they were standing right beside you.

"Did you think it'd be funny?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you fawn over them too much."

"_What_? Just because all you can get is that freaky Lee kid – mph!"

"You bitch!"

"What'd you do that for?!"

"Don't insult my boyfriend and I won't do it again. Actually no, _you_ just called me a bitch, so do that again too and I_ will_."

Go Tenten! We all shook our heads with a smile, Naruto and Kiba laughing hysterically as more insults were fired at her and she shouldered them all easily, sometimes ignoring and sometimes insulting them right back. Mostly answering back, though. She is Tenten, after all.

Suddenly the laughter behind me died and I turned around, got a face full of both Naruto and Kiba in just their boxers. I urgently employed the use of a metaphorical tissue for my very intense metaphorical nosebleed, and turned back around to stop from embarrassing myself.

Just… wow.

But despite the sudden wonderful view, the fact that they were both blushing madly and getting dressed again as fast as humanly possible, Naruto even going to such lengths as to grab all his clothes and run to finish changing in the toilets was far from lost on me.

Shino and I looked at each other, both completely bewildered but doing out best not to show it.

What?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I closed my locker quietly and thoughtfully, swinging my bag onto my shoulder and walking down the hall, not really seeing anything in front of me and doing it all automatically. I'd done it so many times that I didn't really need to look where I was going, anyway. I just hoped no one was going to step out of the classroom and cut me off. That might be embarrassing.

Naruto had been acting very strange since I went to his house yesterday, and that uneasy feeling was back with a vengeance. He'd been getting embarrassed really easily, and about the smallest things. And what was that in sport? He _never_ changed in the toilets, being so proud of his body and all. Well, it was very nice… very nice indeed… all toned and – back on task, Sasuke!

The uneasy feeling grew as I fought to remember all the circumstances in which he got embarrassed, and found that a majority of them involved either Kiba or Shino in some way.

Agh, this is so confusing!

I kicked a stone on the ground in frustration and cursed under my breath. Naruto was still eluding me, still saying one thing and then doing another. He had all these secrets that I desperately wanted to find out, but knew that he'd never tell me until he trusted me. Which would be never. Sometimes I just wanted to sit and talk with him like I could with Sakura, and other times I couldn't stand being around him because I got so frustrated with his stupidity. I just wanted to _know_ him.

I hovered briefly over the option of beating it out of him, but told myself off instantly. While it may be fun, it won't get you anywhere. Sadly. But -

"… Shino, you know?" Kiba's voice cut across my thoughts just as I came to the side of the main building, not far off from where I spotted Hinata and Tenten. Kiba was talking to someone – Shino, I assumed – around the corner.

I am naturally curious, so I lingered. And the fact that uneasiness came back with enough force to make me sick wasn't lost on me either.

"Sorry, I just had to tell you and get it off my chest." Nope, that was Naruto, without a doubt. "I know nothing can happen, so I don't really see the point, but you know, I just kinda had to. I always have to do that, even when they obviously don't feel the same, so don't -"

"Naruto."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up, I know."

A brief silence, then Naruto's strangely timid voice saying, "So, uh… we're still friends, yeah?"

A light chuckle from Kiba. "Sure, Kit, sure."

A relieved sigh and retreating footsteps as Kiba bid farewell. "Catch ya tomorrow!"

What the _hell_ was that all about? I stepped forwards from the wall and rounded the corner to see a dejected looking Naruto scuffing a toe on the ground. I silently walked up to him, thankful he didn't notice, then scared the living shit out of him as I said calmly, "What's up?"

He jumped and whirled around with a cry, fists raised. When he saw it was me he scowled and shoved his hands back in their pockets.

"Jeez, what are you, a freaking ninja?"

"No… But it would be cool." What? It's true.

"… Did you just say being a ninja would be cool?"

"Yes."

"Wow, never thought that'd happen."

"Why?"

"'Cause you're so… so blank. You don't seem the type to think about things like that."

"Like being a ninja?"

"Uh… yeah."

"But it's true. You could do all kinds of crazy shit." I challenge anyone who can disagree with that statement with a viable argument. Yah, didn't think so.

"Ri-ight. Well – uh – gotta go… Catch ya later, ninja boy."

Hold up just a second! I reached out and grabbed his sleeve. "What's the matter?"

"Jeez, are you even Sasuke? First thinking about being a ninja and then asking me what's wrong?"

I rolled my eyes and let go of his arm, albeit a little reluctantly. His jacket was good quality… it felt nice. Worst clingy cover-up _ever_. I crossed my arms and waited for him to answer my question, knowing that if I glared at him for long enough he'd give in.

"Sorry man." Told ya. "Just… how long were you standing there for?"

I was unable to answer for a moment, having suddenly thought of something that really did threaten to make me throw up.

"_Well… I was thinking that maybe – do you think I should tell him I like him?"_

"_I thought you liked two guys."_

"_I do, but one more than the other. I still dunno if the other one's just a physical thing or not, but I think it is."_

"_Tell me who it is and I'll tell you if it's worth it."_

Oh Jesusbloodyf-ingGoddamnitalltohell no _way_! Why can't I ever keep my mouth shut when I need to?

"I… Not long," I said quietly, and stalked away out the gates, ignoring him as he called after me.

Sometimes I _hate_ being a genius.

* * *

Lots of footnotes! 

**(1)** I know, I know, no echidnas in Japan, whatever. But it was the right word, and I know there're other animals that are just like them, but I dunno which ones they have in Japan. So while only Australia has these gorgeous little spiky creatures, I'm really not that fussed. :P

**(2)** Yes I know that technically that's me, but for the sake of the story, let's just ignore that.

**(3) **I'm so sorry! Please excuse the ultimate lack of humour in this part, but I didn't think it would really work as well with it in there. My bad! The last half is really badly written, and I'm sorry for that as well. It just wasn't working for me.

**(4) **I love ShinoKiba just a little too much I think… But I couldn't get rid of this bit! I love it :P And it does have a point… sorta.

--

Does anyone reading this do Year 11 Japanese or has already done it that can help me? I just started my Saturday school classes (don't ask) and I seriously need help. I left my dictionary at mum's so basically I'm screwed. Email me or something, PLEASE. And tell me when or if the story's getting boring. Also very vital to my state of mental health. Thankee.


	13. Your Life Is Not My Priority

Okay, when I wrote the first part of this chapter I was extremely pissed off due to seeing a side of my now ex-girlfriend that I really didn't like, so Sasuke's pissy because I was pissy. I even use the f-word, which is very unlike me. I tend to keep foul language down to a minimum in my stories, except for 'shit'… obviously. But I can't help it if the characters likesaying it, heh.

But then I found two whole chick peas in my hommus dip and for some reason unknown to me, found it hilarious. So I was happier when I wrote the rest and Sasuke will go back to normal about halfway through because of it XD. I just can't write happily when inside I'm fuming, sorry. It fits anyway, so no dramas. Or lots of dramas… whatever.

And WOOT! Things are happening! And we hit a hundred pages! And there's a cat! –happy dance-

Yeah, uh, and sorry. I forgot to add something in the first time and spotted a couple of mistakes, hence the edit thingo.

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

* * *

13. YOUR LIFE IS NOT MY PRIORITY

I thought a great many things when I woke up on Tuesday morning, the most immediate of which being 'I may just kill something today'. I was in a bad mood and I knew it the instant I woke up with a face-splitting headache and my alarm decided to blare out possibly_the_ most excruciatingly annoying song that ever dared itself to be invented. It gave me the disturbing mental image of a cat being forcibly removed from its tail several times in a row in _exactly_ the same way over and over and over and God _damn_, Itachi! Stop shouting!

I slammed down on my alarm clock to shut it up and grumbled back some automatic smartarse response at the order for me to 'get up off my lazy good-for-nothing arse and get to school', hauling myself out of bed. I grimaced a little at the sudden blast of cold air, grabbed jeans and some t-shirt that I didn't pay attention to off my desk and dashed for the bathroom. Groggily, I got into the shower while it was still cold to wake myself up, and assessed my hair in the mirror after it was washed, dried and gelled.

It wouldn't sit right at the back, of course.

Staring angrily at my reflection, which glared back just as fiercely, I yanked the dark blue headband off the bench and tied it tight around my forehead. It tore a little at the end and I swore.

Today was so not going to be good.

It was then that I noticed a pimple on the right side of my nose.

I swore again and stormed out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. I glanced at Itachi, hoping that he was in a generous mood and had made me breakfast, but it seemed like I was pushing my luck.

He glared at me. "What?"

I shrugged, heading for the fridge. There was no milk. I looked up at Itachi, who was just finishing the last dregs of a glass. He licked his lips and stared back at me, silent. Bastard.

Fine, if he wants to be a prick then so be it. I grabbed an apple out of the fruit bowl and took a bite as I stalked back to my room. I gagged. Just my freaking luck that it'd be a crap one, right? Of course, everything else was going wrong today, why not let the apple in on it too? I threw open my window and chucked the rebellious piece of fruit out, slamming it closed again and grabbed my bag off the floor. Ugh, my _head_!

Currently the score was Life: 8 – Sasuke: 0 (1)

So help the first misfortunate soul that pisses me off today.

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So far so good.

Everyone could tell by my murderous scowl that I'd sooner kill them than ask why in God's name they were talking to me. So I stalked the halls to my locker, pushing past people who got in my way and ignoring the cries of protest or the calculating stares of my friends.

Monday morning, so that meant… Great. Double history with the psychotic, look-at-me-and-I'll-kill-you, detention-loving 'teacher'.

I ripped my books out of my locker, slammed it, locked it, turned around and got a face full of Naruto. I growled at him and moved to push past, but the irritating blonde apparently wasn't having any of that. He snapped out an arm and slammed me back against the metal, fist curling in my thin jacket. The numerous locks rattled against their doors at the sudden forceful contact, and I winced as my head protested violently by pounding even louder.

"You're pissed."

"Your observational skills astound me."

"Don't be difficult. Tell me."

"Why should I?"

The fist clenched my jacket tighter and pushed harder against my chest, triggering a dull ache.

"Because you're a downright broody shit when you're angry, so to spare everyone the pain of being burned alive by your glare, you're going to tell me what I said wrong either yesterday or at my place and I'm going to fix it."

I gave a hollow laugh in mockery of his confidence. "You love yourself just a little too much, Uzumaki. Maybe it's got nothing to do with you."

"And maybe it does. Now tell me."

"What if I don't?"

I was expecting a useless attempt at offending me or another weak shove against the lockers, but I definitely wasn't expecting a glimpse at Naruto's crazy pupil-turned-slits before a resounding_slap_ echoed through the now empty hallway. I briefly realised that the bell had gone signally the start of the day (hence the empty hall), before a much more pressing issue arose.

Naruto slapped me. The dobe fucking _slapped_ me!

I didn't let my eyes go wide with shock or my cheeks blush at being treated like a girl, instead opting to remark on hiss choice of attack.

"A slap, Uzumaki? Is that all?"

"You were being an arse – someone had to do it."

"So you slapped me like a bitch."

He looked indignant. "Hey! You're the one being the prissy bitch! Now tell me why you're angry and we might save some lives."

I ripped his hand off my jacket and yanked my clothing straight. Glaring, I shouldered him as I walked past, growling, "I said I wouldn't tell you, now fuck off and leave me alone."

He completely ignored my warning and grabbed at my arm, forcing me to turn back around to face him. I took a millisecond to register that he looked _really_ angry and so much like a fox that it was a little disconcerting, but cast it off and glared back at him, oozing murder.

"No, you're going to tell me and you're going to lighten up a little. Now, what the hell did I say?"

"You really want to know?" My voice was dangerously low, and the fire in his eyes dimmed a little. I smirked.

"Yes!"

"Fine. At your place you told me that you like two people, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"You said you'd accepted you were gay."

"Yeah, but -"

"You said thanks for helping you out."

"_Yes_, wh–"

"Shut up. You said it was fun."

"What are –?"

"Did you ever stop and think for _one_ second, just _why_ I was helping you? Why we became friends? Why the fuck I even _cared_ about the trivial happenings in your life? Or maybe even why Sakura went out with you in the first place?"

He blinked slowly at me, clearly not understanding. I expected as much.

"What are you getting at?"

"You just don't get it, do you?"

He shook his head stupidly, and it took a great amount of effort to remember why the hell I even liked him in the first place. I threw my hands up in frustration.

"Damn it, dobe, I like you, okay? I _like_ you!"

And wait for it to sink in… three, two, one… and a half… and a quarter… and an e-

"_What_?"

There we go. Took him long enough.

"Yes, I like you. Does that clear a few things up for you? Do you get why I'm shitty now?"

He shook his head again, face a little stunned. It just made me angrier, and I jabbed a finger into his chest, forcing him against the lockers like I was before. Ugh, he was so _stupid_!

"All that 'helping' you, all the questions I answered, the fact I even started _talking_ to you without insulting you in the first place was all because I like you. And you know what? Everyone thought you liked me too. Turns out they were wrong. So yeah, I'm a little pissed. I thought you liked me. Fuck, dobe, all the signs pointed to me, and then you just come out with _Kiba_? (2) I mean, _shit_! Wouldn't you be a little angry if that suddenly came and ruined your party? Do you _get it_ now? Has it _finally_ sunk into that incredibly thick skull of yours?"

I took a deep breath, rant over, and didn't bother waiting for a reply as I turned on my heel and headed off down the corridor. There, I'd said it all. He'd asked and I'd told him. But whoa, I didn't know I was that angry until I'd started. Sure, I was kind of frustrated, but I wasn't angry when I'd overheard them. Maybe it was just everything going wrong so far that got me so worked up. Maybe it –

"Teme, wait!"

I stopped but didn't turn around, my heart racing. It'd been about five seconds; that was pretty fast for it to churn around in his brain so he could make sense of it all.

"I never told you I liked Kiba."

I grunted. "I'm not as stupid as you. I overheard half your conversation and figured it out."

There was a brief silence and I still didn't turn around, waiting impatiently for him to reply. When he didn't, I took a step forwards, but he put a hand on my shoulder, turned me around and…

… And kissed me.

I was too stunned to respond, and felt almost all my anger slowly ebb away as he pulled back with an apologetic look.

"You like me, huh?"

A dumb nod.

He gave a weak smile and stepped around me, calling over his shoulder, "And here I was thinking it was a one way street."

… You know what? Fuck school.

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"Sasuke!"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, cursing to hell whoever felt the need to be so stupid as to even _consider_ talking to me when I would sooner rip their head off and sell it on ebay than acknowledge their existence. The footsteps behind me increased their pace, and I was soon joined by a bright smiling blonde who fell into step beside me, latching onto one of my arms. Must she still do that when everyone knows she is so obviously head over heels for Choji?

"Hi, Sasuke!"

Kill me now. Please. No, I'm serious.

"What's the matter?"

You, you insufferable blonde twig!

"Sasuke?"

Congratulations, you know my name, now for the love of all that is decent, _piss off_.

"Where are you going?"

To buy a sword (because they're much more classy) and force you to part way with your limbs.

"Hey… Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

Aren't you supposed to be stuffing flowers up your nose, or whatever it is that you do at that shop of yours that you oh-so-conveniently get days off for?

"Oi!"

Argh, your voice!

"Hey, are you even listening to me?"

"I'm trying, but there's this constant whiny noise whenever you open your mouth that's making it extremely difficult to concentrate."

She let go of my arm with an angry huff.

"Oh thank Christ." I wasn't sure if I meant to say that out loud or not.

She raised an eyebrow at me but still didn't leave. How many hints did this girl _need_, for crying out loud?

"Since when were you religious?"

I couldn't bite back the snort or the eye roll, and increased my pace as I said, "I use the names of heavenly figures either with an insult, combined with an expletive, or when I'm thinking about a boy – something which 'Our Gracious Lord' would not approve of. So no, I most certainly am _not_ religious."

She gave a little giggle. "You sure are a pompous arse, though."

I turned on her. "And you sure are a persistent, irritating, drive-me-up-the-wall, whiny cow. How amazingly stupid can you possible be? Can't you _see_ that I don't want to talk to you?"

She folded her arms and narrowed her eyes, mouth turning down into a frown. People in the street stepped around us, sensing the tension in the air and doing their best to avoid it. Wise move, people. Now, if only I could get into the milk bar without her ranti-

"You seriously think you're better than us, don't you?"

Ah, crap. No such luck there. Bugger it.

"No, no I don't." Pfft, 'course.

"Yes you do. We all know you do. You brush everyone off and push us all away, when all we're trying to do is be your friend. You're just… You're just a waste of time, when it all comes down to it. You're angry, broody, cold – hell, are you even _human_? Everyone thinks you're the gorgeous Uchiha prodigy that's so amazing for keeping it together after his parents died, –"

Oh, that's a low blow. I suddenly sneezed violently, and she 'glared' me down before continuing.

"-but really you're a total mess. You've got so much shit going on that you don't know how to deal with, so you take it out on everyone else. Most of the time that's Naruto, who, might I add, has done _nothing_ to deserve your hatred! I don't know why any of us bother wasting our energy on you! You're such a prick!"

She threw her hands up in frustration and her mouth turned into a thin line of disgust.

"Why the hell am I even wasting time _telling_ you this?"

And she walked away, weaving in and out of people going busily about their shopping, blonde hair swishing behind her angrily.

Wow, I didn't know she had it in her to be so blunt with me. Congratulations to her, though, she managed to make my mood a little less foul than before. Though I have no idea how.

With a shake of the head, I pushed open the glass door of the milk bar, stewing over what she'd said. I knew she was right – I'd known for the last couple of years. When you picked it apart and looked at it all with an open mind, read between the lines, I was a total and complete mess.

Huh, and I thought Naruto would have the balls to tell me first.

I didn't return the smile of the girl at the cash register, and felt mildly triumphant that she looked about ready to clamber over the counter and escape. She even dropped the food when I handed it over for her to swipe. That's how menacing my glare was. That's how much Naruto pissed me off. That's how much Ino cut me. That's how much I needed chocolate.

So hurry up and give it to me, bitch!

I narrowed my eyes further as she handed me my change and the two blocks of delicious dark chocolate with a quiet "H-Have a nice day… sir."

I yanked the waiting chocolate out of her hands and stalked away, pushing open the door and stepping out into the wind.

I did the usual circular-thoughts thing the entire way home, but refrained from tree-punching this time. Though it was a _very_ close thing. I just felt like… everything was falling in a heap, basically. It was all going so well, I was certain Naruto liked me and he finally accepted he was gay, but then… then Inuzuka _Kiba_, of all people, came along. But Naruto kissed me again, pretty much said he liked me, Ino totally owned me, and I had to go home to a crazy brother who was probably still 'normal' and didn't give a shit whether I lived or died.

Oh yes, life was just dandy.

Nothing Ino said was a surprise to me, except for the fact that it had been her that said it. I was fully expecting Naruto to turn around and tell me this morning, but it had never happened. And the damn kid was changing me. Whether he knew it or not, I was definitely changing. I was letting go more and more, and the whole ninja conversation yesterday was enough evidence for that. Hell, I actually showed my anger for the first time in God knows how long instead of keeping it bottled up and taking it out on all those poor unsuspecting aliens.

I opened the door and was about to announce my arrival when I noticed Itachi sitting hunched over on the couch, completely still. I froze.

Oh shit, _please_ not now. Anything but this.

Settling my bag down quietly and shrugging off my shoes and my jacket, I cautiously stepped into the living room. And froze again.

There, sitting innocently on the coffee table, staring evenly into Itachi's creepy eyes with its own huge black orbs… was a cat.

I didn't exactly like cats, but it wasn't that I hated them either. They were just… I dunno, a little boring. This particular creature, who was so intently having eye-sex with my brother, looked like someone had stuck it up on a canvas, covered it with grey and then randomly thrown streaks of black paint on it, calling something that a three year old could do 'art'.

I stood beside the couch and saw Itachi raise an eyebrow, acknowledging my presence. The cat was still watching him, and he the cat, and both seemed to be in some sort of silent war. Or maybe Itachi thought he was a cat today, or that he could talk to it. Maybe he thought it was some sort of messenger. You never can tell with my dearest older brother. Usually what people would laugh it is indeed the truth.

It was most likely a just a stray that he'd picked up off the street, or that had wandered in of its own accord. Very brave of it, really.

"Where did _that_ come from?"

"The bowels of hell."

Of course, how silly of me.

I shrugged and sat down next to him, the cat's dark gaze leaving my brother's for a split second to look me over with disdain (damn cats, so high and mighty) before relaying the devil's message or something to Itachi. We were silent for some time, before three of those awful rib-breaking sneezes decided to wage war on my body, and I was in desperate need of a tissue. I stood up to go, but Itachi spoke, his voice surprisingly warm and entirely sane sounding.

"Do you have a cold?"

I shook my head, the action making my vision swim just a little. "No, I'm fine, must be the cat."

"You're not allergic to cats, though."

I'm not? "I'm not?"

I looked back to see that he still hadn't broken eye contact with said animal, and was handing me a box of tissues that I hadn't seen earlier.

"No, Tayuya had a cat and you were always fine with it."

Oh yeah… "Oh well, I'm fine, really."

"No. Go to bed and don't go to school tomorrow. I'm leaving for work in an hour and taking this thing with me. You can sleep easier then."

His voice had a definite sense of finality about it, so I nodded stupidly, wiped my nose and made my way to my room in a very blank sort of way. Now that I thought about it, my head did feel a little heavy… Hmm, maybe I would just lie down for a bit… I never knew my bed was so comfy…

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I hate being sick! It is _such_ a waste of time!

I glared up at my roof, fully expecting it to cave in from the sheer intensity of my look. Apparently the structure of the house was perfectly sound, however (the amount of cracks was mighty deceiving), and I wasn't crushed by a ton of plaster and whatever else our house was made of. Probably a load of asbestos. I huffed and rolled onto my side, burying my face deeper into the pillows and shutting my eyes tight, losing the battle with my bladder and the desperate need to go to the toilet.

I threw back the covers angrily and stood, waiting for a moment for my head to settle from its space-out at getting up too fast, and stumbled my way down the hall and into the bathroom.

Oh Jesus, I look like shit.

My eyes were red and puffy as well as my nose, and my hair was stuck to the side of my head from excessive sleeping. My skin was looking very… dead, really, and way paler than normal. The only good thing I could see was that the pimple must have sensed my murderous mood and pissed off.

Just as well.

I relieved myself and washed my hands, opening the bathroom door and giving a very girly shriek as I narrowly avoided standing on our new and not-so-welcome pet. I immediately regretted making the embarrassing noise, due to my throat's sudden protest at being used, and cursed the damn cat, nudging it out of the way with my foot and doing my best to ignore its enormous eyes or those pitiful mewling sounds.

It's a cat, I am an Uchiha, and therefore impervious to its cuteness.

No matter how wide its eyes got, I would not bend down and pet it.

Even if it batted a paw at me – oh sod it.

Its fur was soft and it pushed against my hand as I stroked its head with a scowl. Itachi must have heard my undignified squeal because he came around the corner looking very concerned. He bounded right up to me and put a hand on my forehead, forcing me to straighten up and ignore the cat. Not that I didn't want to ignore it, it was just… It had big eyes. And soft fur. And… Damnit, it was cute, okay!

"Hey, you feel all right? You've been sleeping for…" He checked his watch. "24 hours at least. You need to eat something and take some medicine. I got some flu herbs for you from the acupuncturist on my way home yesterday. I'll make you something. There's no rehearsal today so I can look after you. Go back to bed and stay warm – if you're cold take my doona as well. And put more clothes on! You can't expect to get better in just your shorts! Now go, go, go!"

I tried my best not to look bewildered at his mini-rant and was ushered back into my room and pushed under the covers by a very paranoid brother. How long would that last? I was only okay being sick if Itachi was either over-protective or amazingly paranoid. Anything else and he'd probably beat me up for getting sick in the first place, ignore me, laugh at my pain, make me sicker, or just generally not care in the slightest.

At least I had a chance of getting better this way, which was always a plus.

But being sick was so… blergh! There was nothing to do because Itachi wouldn't let me get out of bed to even go to the _bathroom_ let alone play Xbox, my limbs were too heavy to draw and my head was pounding too loud to make listening to music or studying an option.

And so my useless day passed with Itachi feeding me at random intervals and forcing vomit-tasting Chinese herbs down my throat (my brother was very against antibiotics and so insisted on natural remedies), copious amounts of sleep, and glaring at the roof while I vaguely wondered if anyone would come by and drop the homework off for me that we were sure to have received. Our mid-year exams were next week and all our teachers said they'd give us revision work. I knew it all already, but just to be safe I liked to do it and save myself the wrath of the parentals.

Sakura messaged me during lunchtime, though, which entertained me for all of five minutes.

**Hey love, heard that you told him and Ino said you looked sick. Hope you're okay, call me if you're not. See when you get better. Xx.**

I replied with a simple 'I'm sick but okay, talk to you at school' and resumed my previous activities of absolutely nothing.

At around 3 o'clock I felt considerably better, the herbs having kicked in and so ventured out into the kitchen. I smiled just a little at the fact that I was perfectly coordinated, my head hadn't tripped out at the movement and the cat was nowhere in sight to trick me into giving it attention.

I yawned and opened the fridge, suddenly craving orange juice, when Itachi shouted, "Sasuke? Sasuke! Where are you?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed. Sometimes being paranoid and protective at once wasn't such a great combination.

"I'm in the kitchen and last time I checked I was alive, so don't panic."

Man, forget the orange juice – I could so go for some chocolate right about now. If only Itachi would leave me alone for _one_ second so I could sneak over to the front door, said food still being in my backpack from yesterday and all.

Itachi came barrelling around the corner looking extremely panicked, pushing a hand to my forehead again. He bit his lip in confusion and muttered to himself under his breath.

"What?"

He dropped his hand suddenly and shrugged. "Fever's dropped."

Der, why do you think I'm out of bed?

He turned and slouched out of the kitchen with a casual wave over his shoulder. "You're fine," he called. "I'm going for a walk. Don't die while I'm out."

Gotta love the mood swings of insane people.

"I don't plan to."

He grunted in response and I waited until the door snapped shut before I dashed to my bag and yanked out the two blocks of very edible looking chocolate. I smiled goofily to myself and slowly unwrapped the first one as I wandered back to my room, then realised how stupid I must've looked. Oh well, no one was here except me and my snack.

Aah, sweet chocolate. My lifesaver.

As I ate the wonderfully delicious and mouth-watering goodness, I thought long and hard about the events of the previous two days. So much had happened that it was a little difficult to keep up or make sense of it, but I did have a quick mind and so picked it apart slowly, inspecting each detail as if it were a part of a murder mystery. By the time I finished both bars of chocolate (in no less than five minutes, thankyou very much), I came to two realisations.

One: I had to talk to Shikamaru, and two: I had eaten far too much chocolate.

With a slight groan I stood up off my bed and held a hand to my stomach as if to steady it. Yep, _way_ too much chocolate and way too fast. Ugh. I wish I had a stomach like Kiba's.

I staggered over to the phone and cleared my throat, reaching for a tissue to swipe at my nose. Perhaps chocolate wasn't such a great idea… I shrugged the thought off, figuring that I'd eaten it already so no bother dwelling on the after-effects, and dialled a familiar number.

After countless rings, he finally answered.

"Hello?" He sounded a tad out of breath.

"Shikamaru, I've seriously overestimated my ability to consume copious amounts of chocolate." I may be sick, but I can still talk properly when need be.

He snorted and tried to disguise it as a cough.

"Don't you laugh at me, Nara."

"I wasn't, honestly I wasn't."

I huffed, rethinking my earlier desire to have him over and listen to me bitch.

"Look, you coming over or not?"

"You sound awful."

"No shit. See you in ten."

I hung up, not really giving him an option. I wanted to talk and he would listen. Once again. Maybe I could convince him to talk to Temari… No, on second thoughts, I prefer my friends alive and whole.

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"So then he turns me around, _kisses_ me, and says something about a 'one way street'!" I had to interrupt myself to sneeze, and Shikamaru took the opportunity to talk.

"So he told you he likes you?"

I paused for a moment, expecting another sneeze. When none came (I_hate_ that), I answered helplessly, "Yes!"

Shikamaru stared at the backs of his eyelids with a thoughtful expression, looking very comfortable spread out on my bed.

"Huh… He said he wasn't going to."

My eyes widened. "You _knew_?"

"And you knew that I knew."

"But – but," I spluttered, unable to think of an answer. He did have a perfectly valid point. "You could've said it was me!"

His only answer to that was, "And he told Kiba too? Hm…"

I grunted and nudged him with my foot, scowling and telling him to elaborate before I hurt him… Well, something to that effect. I couldn't really do anything in my current state; my stomach still hurt and my headache was coming back with a vengeance. Really not the ideal condition to be thinking about so much.

Shikamaru shuffled away a little and cracked open an eye with a scowl. "What are you gonna do? Use me as a tissue?" He snorted and I rolled my eyes.

"Tell."

He sighed. "Fine. Last week some-"

He was cut off almost straight away by my phone rudely announcing I had a call from next to my bed somewhere. I growled at it and fumbled around, trying to find the damned thing. When I did, I glared at the screen and answered.

"Gaara."

"Well done. Tell Nara to hurry his arse up and ask my sister out before she kills someone. Namely me. Or him. Either way would suck. And tell him he should come over here and ask so it doesn't look like he's afraid of Kankuro."

"Why can't you tell him?"

"I don't have his number and I know he's there with you."

"How?"

"You called him while we were walking."

"Oh. And you ask Hinata before I unleash all my repressed teenage anger on you."

"I'm terrified. But sure, will do. Hurry up and come back to school. No need to sulk just because Naruto's screwing around with you."

"Your perceptiveness has failed you for once. I'm sick, if you couldn't tell."

"I thought it was all that crying."

"Pfft, whatever. Get your nose back in your own life, Sabaku, and I'll do the same."

"Hah. Catch, Uchiha."

I didn't bother replying, and snapped my phone shut with a contemplative scowl, if there is even such an expression.

I opened my mouth to relay the message to Shikamaru, but he interrupted me with, "I know, I heard."

"So are you going to?"

He squirmed just a little. "I guess. Can't have her killing people now, can we?"

"Too troublesome," I agreed.

He gave me a small smile and sat up, resting back on his elbows. His dreads were a little bit thicker than last week, but he was growing them so he could still pull them back. I personally thought they looked better down, but hey – it's his hair. Though it still didn't change the fact that it was better out. Maybe if I stole all his hair ties…?

"Stop looking at me like that."

I knew I was doing that 'assessing' look I do, and so I said, "Your hair. Take it out."

He reached up a hand to grab at his hair, protecting it from me, and groaned. "Don't go all gay on me and try to fix my hair. I listened to you with the dreads but I won't let you play with them."

I glared at him and he glared right back, though with a _lot_ less menace. He just didn't have the Uchiha touch, obviously. And he didn't know how much better he would look with the dreads down!

"You're doing it again. If you don't want to talk about Naruto then I'll just leave and you can recuperate from your chocolate escapades."

Oh, him, right. Back to it, Uchiha. "How did Gaara know? He hasn't been all that clued in with Naruto, mostly just hearing it from me. But I caught him and Naruto kissing so I guess he must have told him something…"

He thought for a moment. "You were at the lockers when you told him, weren't you?"

"Yeah."

He gave a short laugh. "Gaara has philosophy up there when we have history, remember? You probably didn't realise how loud you were."

…Oh _no_. That meant that… who else was in the class? Oh brilliant, just fan-bloody-tastic. Sai and Tenten would know as well, but hopefully they'd have enough sense to hold back on the 'let's make fun of Sasuke and see which one he kills first' mentality. Hopefully… Probably not. Gah, life sucks right about now.

"Woo hoo, now onto more pressing matters – what do I do with Naruto?"

Shikamaru sighed and laid back on my bed, arms behind his head and eyes focused on one of the many cracks in the ceiling. "Time, kiddo. Just give him time."

"I don't know how much longer I can wait."

"Look, he told me that he likes the both of you, but he can't figure out which one is just physical and which one he really likes. Personally I think it's only on the surface with Kiba, because they've been friends for so long and he's just confusing it with attraction. He just needs time to sort it out, and for once in your life you're going to have to be patient. It might turn out that he doesn't like either of you, but you won't find out if you pressure him."

I said nothing, agreeing entirely. Looking back on everything that had happened so far, it all made sense. I just wish Naruto wasn't so oblivious.

I leant back against my pillows and sighed.

If the genius said time, then time it would be.

But I should remind you that I'm not a very patient person.

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When I'm sick, I am very temperamental. I do not appreciate being hassled. I do not appreciate being mothered. I do not appreciate being flatly ignored. I do not appreciate being left alone. I do not appreciate throwing up. I do not appreciate being laughed at for running out of tissues. I do not appreciate becoming an insane person's counsellor, and I most definitely do not appreciate being denied my chocolate.

Itachi learned that the hard way.

In as little as three days Itachi had been as moody as a pregnant woman. His attitude towards me would change from motherly to mild curiosity to complete disinterest to hate and back again. I'd figured out by now that when there was something worrying him, he'd be even harder to keep sane than normal. Medication was pretty much no use, though it did help a little.

Just one of the many perks of having a brother with personality problems.

I did the 'good guy' pose in my head.

See? I'm sick. Deathly sick. Especially if I'm mimicking Lee in my head for no particular reason.

Itachi was in a foul mood today. And by foul I mean so amazingly annoying that I was willing to suffocate myself in my own blankets, or maybe even… oh, I don't know – be nice to Ino. If I so much as opened my door he would rush up to me and push me back into bed, tucking me in and insisting that sick people needed to rest and take herbs, not go to the toilet. Despite the urgency.

Needless to say, I was getting _very_ fed up with it by the third hour of being shut away while he bustled in and out every ten minutes asking if I needed anything.

Chocolate, damn you! Why won't you listen!

After what must have been the thirty-seventh time of him asking me if I needed more tissues or water or soup, I was about ready to remove his head from his neck. In the most gruesome and painful way possible. But just as I was wallowing in my own self-pity for being made to wait for the boy who I'd been crazy about for over a year now to notice me properly, as well as planning my own brother's horrible yet wonderful death, I was interrupted by a knock at the front door.

When Itachi's frantic footsteps could not be heard scurrying towards it after the second round of impatient raps, I figured he must've changed moods _again_ and was ignoring it. So I got up with some rather foul language directed at my brother, waited for my head to stop spinning, and stumbled over to my door, tissue held firmly in place. I did a quick check of the floor to make sure there was no cat to stand on, and looked up to the front door.

When I did, my eyes went _very_ wide.

Now, I think I've already explained how to deal with my brother, but here's a recap: He says "Don't be angry," then don't be angry – or at least pretend to not be. He says "I know you're going to be angry," then you sure as hell better act angry otherwise you'll confuse the crap out of him. So when there was an almighty shattering noise from the kitchen, a squeal, Itachi's suddenly high voice begging forgiveness and Naruto standing in my lounge room _hugging_ my older brother, saying I was shocked would be a complete understatement.

Never, in as long as I'd been living with him (almost seven years), had _anyone_ dared come close enough to so much as breathe in his general vicinity. Except Kisame, of course, but let's not dwell on that too long.

There was still the pressing matter of _Naruto_ comforting _my brother_ in my house. And the fact that he was still alive wasn't lost on me either.

"I'm sorry! It – it slipped and I c-couldn't help it!" Itachi was sobbing. "It j-just… dropped!" He looked up pleadingly, tugging on Naruto's orange coat. "Please don't be mad, I … I didn't mean it."

Naruto stroked his hair, absentmindedly making crooning noises and juggling his soaking wet jacket to avoid getting my brother.

"I know, I know. I'm not mad. It's okay."

This was all very confusing, and wasn't helped at all by the fact that Naruto noticed me and suddenly grinned his wide, mischievous grin that made my stomach do an uncomfortable little – _huge_ – flip. Why was he grinning? Hadn't I rudely sworn and mocked and been a general arse to him not two days ago?

I turned on my heel, steadying myself a little on my doorframe, and threw the tissue in the bin by my desk with a confused 'hmph'. I retreated back into my room just before he said, "Itachi, its fine. No need to worry. But I need you to let go now. I have to talk to Sasuke about something very important."

Nonono. No talking. I'd said everything I needed to and… wait…_yes_ talking! After just on one whole day of waiting, my patience (or complete lack thereof) was wearing very thin. I needed to know where he stood with his feelings and I needed to know _now_.

With that in mind, I whirled around, ignored my pounding head, and stalked back to Naruto. I peeled Itachi off him rather more forcefully than necessary, wheezed out, "Get off him," and yanked the blonde into my room, ignoring the coat as it dropped to the floor. I could clean it later.

When the door was firmly shut and Itachi was safe aimlessly wandering the house in a very blank state, I turned to Naruto, who looked very bewildered, and said, "You. Explain." I'm even more delightful when I'm sick.

"Oh my God." His eyes were wide and he was staring at me very intently.

I raised an eyebrow.

"You're sick?!"

"Clever." Agh, is it that obvious? Is my hair all flat? Is my skin still pale? Oh crap, what if the pimple's back? Just… just play it cool. Act like nothing's wrong.

"So you _are_ human." He sat on my bed with a grin.

I raised my other eyebrow to join the one already up and planted a hand firmly on my hip, which stuck out a little. Oh no. My 'gay stance', as Sakura so lovingly put it. According to her, that meant I was very uncomfortable and unwilling to show it. Ugh.

"Well spotted. Now explain."

"What, no 'hi, how are you?' or 'what's been happening at school?'? Just straight into it?"

"There would be no point to those questions and I'm really not interested."

He put a hand to his chin as if thinking deeply. Pfft, 'sif.

"So… you like me, but you don't care how I am. Now _that_ makes me feel good. Just a little."

I said nothing. What could I say? Of course I cared about him, I was just so used to pretending to not care that it was sort of hard to break out of the habit. It was routine to say "You're useless" while thinking "Come closer so I can ravish you!" He may know how I feel now, but that didn't mean I was ready to… well, to be_normal_.

"Hn," was all he got, but I sat down next to him, our shoulders touching. He smiled over at me and I bit my lip, looking away. Wow. He leant forwards and rested his elbows on his knees, breathing deeply. He stared at my blank wall for a moment, and I watched him, suddenly a little queasy. Four or so hysterical sneezes broke the mildly uncomfortable silence, and he laughed at me.

I smiled before I could stop myself, but soon caught it up in time. I liked the sound, it was… refreshing? Can a laugh even be refreshing? Well it can now, because his was definitely that.

His smile faltered as I tucked mine away, giving it a stern talking to about staying hidden at all times where humiliation was a possible outcome. He looked at me for a moment and I stared straight back, queasy feeling going up to about a seven out of ten.

"Dobe…" It was definitely a warning, and he stood up to pace, brow creased in deep thought.

"Okay teme, here's the deal: I'm very confused, to say the least. You must've only heard the last part of mine and Kiba's conversation, because you got real pissed and if you had've heard the whole thing you would've understood what was going on. Oh, but just so you know, I'm proud of you for getting angry!"

He beamed at me and I crossed my arms, totally confused but not showing it.

"You actually _got angry_!" He 'explained'. Still wasn't getting it…

He sighed. "You are so amazingly blank that there's this running joke between all of us that you're not actually human. Heh, even Gaara gets mad. You just stay all broody and blow up aliens when you get home. But you got mad! It was brilliant!"

I narrowed my eyes. The thought of a 'running joke' about me being inhuman was not a very comforting thought. Who started it? Maybe I'd have to 'talk' to them… Hmm…

"You got that look in your eye. Don't kill anyone, or I'll kill you. Now that's settled, you're going to sit there and be good while I get all this out."

"Telling me what to do?" Aw, what a brave little boy.

"Yes."

Damn him.

"Right, here goes. I sorta like you but I like Kiba, too. I know Kiba's completely in love with Shino, but I can't help it, just like you can't. I'm still a bit iffy with this whole thing, so I dunno in what way I like either of you, but I know that it's a more-than-friends thing… Just, I dunno what kind of 'more than friends' it is yet. Is this making sense?"

I thought for a bit. I guess… Nope, definitely not.

"Dobe, what the _hell_ are you trying to say?"

"W-Well, I dunno, actually…" He trailed off and scratched the back of his head, ruffling his hair. Another deep breath, an adorable blush, some toe-scuffing, then a fixed glare at the ceiling as he leant against my wall.

"I guess… I – I know I feel _something_ for you, but I dunno what just yet."

I raised an eyebrow. How much longer was he going to skirt around it?! He had a _very_ roundabout way of saying outright that he liked me. He had to know by now that I was very smart and very vain. He'd pretty much said it already, what was the big deal? Just a simple, conscious, unforced 'I like you' and we can proceed to the fun part. Just _say_ it!

"I'm attracted to you, yes. But it doesn't help that you're_ridiculously_ hot."

I nodded at that and he rolled his eyes. "Not as hot as me, but you're pretty up there."

I took a moment to process yet again how much he loved himself, sighed, sneezed, glared at him for a bit, then said, "Whatever, back to the point…?"

He shook his head with a grin, which faded a little as he took a deep breath. "As I said, yeah I'm attracted to you, but… but I don't know if it's because I actually like you or because you're good-looking. Sometimes I think that yeah, I like you, I like you a lot, but it… I don't know. Do you get what I'm trying to say? I like you, but I don't know if I like _you_…" He shook his head in exasperation, frustrated that he couldn't get his words out properly.

But I nodded slowly, understanding perfectly. It was exactly the same when I had a thing for Neji. At first it was the initial 'oh good God he's beautiful' type thing, but it took a while for me to actually see past that and like _him_. I still don't know what I saw in him way back then.

Naruto wasn't done yet, though.

"And with Kiba, it's… it's different. I'm attracted to you, but I'm also a little, I dunno, blocked out. Kiba is completely open and honest and I _know_ him. I have no idea who you are, really, because you're so damn closed up that I don't even know if I _can_ like you."

Were they some wise words of subliminal advice from the dobe himself? Oh goodness, what is the world coming to? And I really didn't want to hear about Kiba. Couldn't the dobe see that it was just a friendship thing? And _man _he was thinking far into it. We were what – fifteen and sixteen? I scrunched my fists in my doona and glared at the door, willing it to catch fire. I like fire.

"Teme?"

"What?" I snapped. More anger? Aeigh!

He rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed, his hand on the part of the doona covering my knee. "You look like you want to say something…"

"Congratulations, you're thinking about something for longer than thirty seconds. But it's something that you probably don't need to think on for ages."

He gave me the usual that-went-straight-over-my-head look.

"We're only young; does it really matter that much? If you like us you like us, if you don't you don't." But you do, so no worries there.

He shook his head. "No, it's not that simple. Well, it is for you because you're already comfortable with who you are and you _know_. I don't. It's a huge step to go from assuming you're gay to actually knowing for certain that you want to be with a guy. Usually I don't think on things – I just act." Yah, you can say that again. "But this… for me, this is _big_."

He had a point, I guess. And for Naruto to actually convey complex feelings so that other people understood was a big thing. I must say, I felt a little proud. But there was still the Kiba issue. I took a breath and opened my mouth a little, but closed it again almost like nothing had happened.

Come on, Sasuke, you've done it before so you can do it again. Talk to him _without_ insulting him and you will go far in life.

"Have…" _Do it_. "Have you considered that what you feel for Kiba is just because you're close friends? Sometimes it's hard to tell because you're both already so close and spend heaps of time with each other that you're comfortable together. I confused it with Gaara for a little while, but then I realised there was a fine line between close friend and boyfriend. I just don't want you to jump into something and screw it up for both you and someone else."

Ooh, wasn't meant to say that last part. Might've been a little too much. Yet again, Naruto's influence was even bigger. He's going to humiliate me something major one day, and boy is he going to regret it. Maybe I should plan his punishment now, considering it was all happening so fast that it was bound to be any day soon…

He blanked at me. Wide eyes blinking slowly, mouth slightly open, eyebrows raised, barely breathing – the works.

"Whoa, you should get sick more often. You're way nicer."

What? I'm an arse when I'm sick. Everyone says so.

"Do you actually care about Kiba and Shino?"

Do not dignify that with a response. "Shino's my friend." –sigh-.

"So the illustrious Uchiha is actually sick, has shown care and compassion, and admitted to being able to connect with people enough to have friends, thus proving his humanity. What a day."

There was a brief, confusion-filled pause.

"And no, I don't understand half those words I just said."

Didn't think so.

More silence… time ticked by… his hand started moving against my leg softly and I closed my eyes, head dropping back. I stifled a yawn. More time passed. My eyes got heavy, my head lolling to the side. I breathed deeply, dimly registering that I was close to sleep.

"Teme…?"

I cracked my eyes open to glare. No! Sleep time! Go away and take your annoyingly gorgeous confused face with you!

"What?" My voice was a little scratchy.

"I understand what you were saying. Gimme some time to think, okay?"

Ugh, _more_ thinking? This Naruto was weird.

I nodded, but he wasn't looking at me (my ceiling was apparently the most interesting feature of my room) so I said, "Mmhm."

"Can I ask you a question, though?"

I closed my eyes again and mumbled before I could stop myself, "Yes, I will go out with you." I mentally shoved a sock my mouth, ducking my head a little into the pillow in an attempt to smother my words and eat them. Targeting me when I was tired – I bet he planned it. Bastard.

He laughed and slapped at my leg. "Vain, much?"

I 'hmph'ed. "I'm vainer than you know."

"Clearly."

I shifted a little, uncomfortable in the silence. Jeez, just ask already.

"Why do you like me?"

Well that was easy. Unexpected, but easy. I opened my eyes so I could look straight at him. He was still looking at the ceiling, but turned to me when I nudged him a little with my foot.

His eyes were… odd. They were still their bright blue, but they'd lost their spark. Why was he so hard to figure out?

"I… I…" What? It's not as if you don't know the answer. Just say it. I blinked, realising something.

I didn't know the answer.

I honestly didn't.

He lowered his eyes sadly and stood up, making his way to the door with a very dejected walk. I went a little blank then. Naruto and sad just didn't seem to fit together. Naruto and confused, Naruto and loud, Naruto and pain-in-the-arse, yes. Naruto and upset, definitely not.

He put his hand on the door handle and looked over his shoulder at me before leaving.

"I didn't think so. I'm going to Sakura's, tell me if you figure it out. Oh, and we have a day off tomorrow. There's some English homework on the kitchen bench for you and science revision sheets for our exam. I'm pretty sure the exam timetable's in there as well."

I nodded dumbly as he closed the door and called out a farewell to Itachi.

For the second time ever, the dobe had stumped me.

* * *

I'm sorry. Naruto's being very difficult. I just hate stories that go way too fast, so I'm trying to make this at least a little realistic, and I'm using a lot of personal experience. But I do admit this is taking very long. It should be worth it in the long run… I hope. I don't think it'll be much longer though XD

I also have a KankyKiba oneshot that you should all read. Just because you love me. Hah. Link on my profile, you know the drill.

Review. XD


	14. Swords All Round

Uh, please excuse all the pirate stuff that's bound to continue for a while. I was rambling. Clearly. XD I was given such amazing reviews for that last chapter, thank you _so_ much everyone! They mean a lot to me, really. I was smiling stupidly to myself for a fair while when I saw all the lovely comments. –wriggle-

And oh my God, I just realised that at my new school, its like 'spot the straight guy'. Seriously. I only know two entirely straight guys. Wow.

Haha, anyway… Enjoy!

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

* * *

14. SWORDS ALL ROUND

Saturday morning, I was _finally_ better, Itachi had been running on 'indifferent' for almost two days, my mind was oddly very calm about Naruto, and my mood was steadily worsening as I glared down at Kakashi-sensei. It was only a three hour shift today (as opposed to the usual five) so as not to overwork myself too soon after being sick, but he just had to appear when I had half an hour to go. Typical. I scowled deeper.

He smiled back at me, his good eye crinkling.

Hah, Kakashi had an eye patch. It made him look like a pirate. I amused myself while he decided with mental images of him in his smart black turtlenecks and black jeans running around with a sword, a gold hoop and a striped bandana. Maybe even lost teeth, or a gold one at least. And a beard, can't forget the beard. What if he had a parrot? No, he wouldn't be a parrot pirate – not impressive enough. He'd be the captain, though, definitely the captain. With a_huge_ hat. And an even bigger sword – he had to have one of them.

"Sasuke?"

I shook my head of the mildly disturbing thoughts and stared down at my teacher. He beckoned for me to sit opposite him.

Ooh no, I'm not that stupid.

"I have other people to serve, Kakashi-sensei, please call me when you're ready to order."

Before he had a chance to object, I bowed and left, trying to move as fast as I could without actually looking like I was running away. Which I wasn't.

I flitted around the tables, seeing him raise his hand out of the corner of my eye but ignoring him. What? I wasn't going to get interrogated again. I gave coffee-girl the order from two girls with long, clacking fake nails and horribly dyed blonde hair, and glanced around the café. Please, someone else raise their hand. Please? Come on, people, I can't have served all of you!

With a sigh I looked over at my waiting teacher and admitted defeat. I'd have to face him sooner or later. I'd prefer later, as in twenty years later, but apparently I wasn't powerful enough to control time and so wandered over to his table as slowly as possible. I had control over that much, at least.

But in the end it was all the same, and much sooner than I would have liked I was sitting opposite the silver-haired man, pad and pen discarded on the table in front of me and a feeling of utter dread settling heavily in my stomach.

Kakashi smiled over at me and I shrivelled on the inside. Baaad move, kiddo.

"So, how's school?"

"Fine."

"Have you been quite ill?"

"Yes, hence my absence."

"Did Naruto drop off the revision work? I asked him to drop by. Iruka said he had work to give you as well."

"I got both of them."

"He talked to Iruka, you know."

"That's nice."

"You don't care?"

"No."

"Has he told you yet?"

"Yes."

"Huh, that's surprising."

Silence.

"Well, I didn't think he'd tell you anything after your rude outburst on Tuesday."

Shit, he heard that? God I hoped he wasn't taking any of my exams next week. That would be embarrassing.

"Yes, you were rather loud. My entire class heard it."

Crapcrapcrap! See, this is why I keep my anger inside – to save myself saying really stupid and embarrassing stuff that can be used to humiliate me later. And _this_, of all things! I really couldn't care less if people thought I was inhuman for not showing a wide range of emotions; it was so much easier than this crap.

"You know what, Kakashi-sensei?"

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Please, enlighten me." Smartarse.

I stood and swept up my pad and pen from the table, staring down my nose at him in the most high-and-mighty way I could. I copied it off Itachi, and knew from experience that on normal people (which, sadly, Kakashi wasn't) it worked wonders to instil fear into whoever you were telling off.

"I don't _care_ what you think about me and Naruto, because for the last time, _you are not involved_. You can stop giving me looks in class and consulting Iruka-sensei, stop trying to play some perverted version of matchmaker, stop thinking you understand Naruto, and stop thinking you understand me when _no one_ does. This has nothing to do with you and it never will. Iruka has a minor influence over Naruto, but sure as hell not over me. I understand you want me to protect Naruto from getting hurt, but I can't… I can't help it if he chooses the wrong person, okay?"

And with that I whirled around and burst through the door to the back room, sitting down heavily on the bench with a slightly triumphant smile.

You always know it's going to be a good day when you own your teacher.

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I rolled over and answered my phone with a grunt, clearly pissed off at being woken up from my rest. I was bloody tired. Being sick can do that to a person.

"Teme."

"What?"

"Are you still sick?"

"No." Maybe.

"Good, 'cause we're going to the movies and Sakura said I should invite you."

"Did she now?"

"Yes, and you better show up!"

"I have revision to do." And sleep to be had.

His scoff scratched down the line. "Dude, it's year ten – no biggie. Come to the movies!"

"Why?"

"Because I want you to, that's why."

I pretended to think for a moment, despite the fact that as soon as Naruto said that I was sold. I had two options; sleep the last dregs of my sickness away, or risk it returning just to see him. The things I do for that boy… Well, I don't actually do very much when it all comes down to it, but you get my drift.

"Okay, fine. Time, place, what we're seeing and all that?"

"Uhm… I'll go get Sakura, hold on."

Now why didn't he just do that in the first place? Would have saved us a great deal of trouble.

"Hey you, you coming or not?"

I didn't bother answering such a stupid question. She should know me better by now. Basically the deal was that if Naruto was there, I would be there, no matter how much grumbling and complaining I did.

"I'll take that as a yes. The movie's at six so meet at about quarter to."

"That's in half an hour!"

"So?"

Crap! I hadn't done my hair today because I didn't think I would be seeing anyone, and it took _ages_to do. And what was I going to wear? I wanted Naruto to notice I'd gone to an effort, but not too dressy.

"What are we seeing?" I ran through several outfits in my head, dismissing each one in turn.

"I have no idea. Lee and Tenten picked it so it's bound to have lots of fighting. I think it's an old rerun or something."

I laughed a little at that and felt a bit better about going. Tenten and I had exactly the same taste in movies, and definitely enjoyed a bit of the old severed heads and giant swords.

"And can you ring Shikamaru? None of us could get onto him."

"Sure. You're coming around to mine afterwards, by the way. And don't say no because I'll be very offended."

I could almost see her roll her eyes. "One; you're a boy so that idea's shot already, and two; my parents are study freaks and I made the mistake of telling them I wanted to be a doctor so they're treating these pissy little year ten exams like they're year twelve ones."

I did a facepalm. "Sakura, I'm gay, therefore it doesn't matter that I'm a guy. Just tell them you're doing some science revision with me or something."

"But my parents know I've finished my science stuff already. I'll swing by some other time, okay?"

I gave an annoyed sigh. "Fine. Catcha tonight, then

There was a distant, "Bye, teme!" shouted from somewhere down the line as Sakura said her farewell and hung up.

I ran to my room, mind racing through all my clothing options, and I whipped out my mobile as I sifted through my wardrobe. I threw t-shirt after t-shirt onto my bed as the dial tone rung in my ear, and wasn't entirely concentrating when a very feminine-sounding Shikamaru answered.

"Hey it's me, everyone's going to the movie's tonight, want to join?"

There was a brief pause. No, I wear black too much… green? Button shirt or normal t-shirt? How about dark blue? Black jeans or light denim? Haven't worn my blue jeans in a while… Black was safer. But a button shirt would be too dressy – it's just the movies, jeez. Okay, so plain t-shirt, but what colour?

"Is this the Naruto-lover?"

I dropped the black jeans I was holding, recognising the voice. "Temari? What are you doing on Sh… No way!"

I could hear her smile through her voice. "Yes way!"

"When?"

"Wednesday night."

"How?"

"_Well_, he came round and braved Kankuro's questioning then asked if I wanted to go for a walk. We went to the park and it was sunset and oh it was _so_ romantic! He asked me out and now here we are."

"Wow."

"I know!"

"Well congratulations on bagging yourself a lazy-arse."

"Thankyou, I'll take it as a compliment. But we're going out tonight so he can't come to the movies. He's all mine."

I tried to ignore the possessiveness of that statement and failed miserably, instantly fearing for my friend's life. "Please don't kill him, that wouldn't benefit anyone. I gotta go get ready, but tell me – black or green?"

She laughed. "Green. You're always wearing black. Hook in, kiddo! Oh, and tell Gaara I'm sorry but I was only looking out for him."

I sighed, pointedly ignoring the 'hook in' comment. "When will you start dealing with your own crap?"

"He's scary when he's angry!"

"And usually you're the one telling us all to get over it and give him a good smack. Tell him yourself."

"I'm not going to beg. Just do it and I'll be nice to your friend."

"Whatever," I grunted. As if she'd hurt him anyway… At least I don't think she would. But then again, she _is_ Temari.

… Nah.

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I stood in an awkward silence with Shino and Kiba in the foyer of the cinemas, staring at the roof and begging for someone to show up. Now would be great. Like, right now. _Anything_ to stop the silence. Please?

Kiba was leaning against the wall and staring out of the glass doors into the almost-night. Shino was sitting on a chair next to him, but there was no interaction at all. Occasionally Kiba would glance down, but Shino's head was angled towards the ground and he didn't move once. The tension in the room was crazy.

The only time I could think of that equalled this for awkwardness was when Gaara came over for the first time and Itachi was going through a very, ah, 'naturalist' stage. Meaning he didn't really…. Didn't really wear a lot.

The door opened with a gust of icy wind and Naruto walked in, Sakura close behind. Oh thank Christ; I was going to _kill_ something.

"Hey guys, didn't – whoa."

Naruto's eyes widened when he saw me, and I felt my face heat up.

"Ditched the duck-butt look, I see."

I self-consciously touched the back of my head where my hair was oddly flat and soft, falling straight down to my shoulders but sticking out occasionally at weird angles.

"I didn't have time, because _someone_ didn't give me enough warning."

He laughed and walked up to me, bravely reaching out and ruffling my hair. I pushed him away, scowling, and he took a step back with his hands in the air. Sakura appeared next to him and grinned at me.

"Nice," she said appreciatively.

"Yeah, it looks good," Naruto agreed, before turning around and standing next to Kiba, instantly jumping into a conversation about something nobody else cared about.

Sakura winked and smiled at me, nudging me in the ribs before greeting Shino and disappearing down a hallway to the right, no doubt to the toilets. Why must girls go to the bathroom all the time? They do their hair and make-up before they leave home, do it again when they get to wherever they are, then do it again before they leave. It baffled me, honestly.

I did feel a little better, though. Maybe that nudge meant something; maybe Naruto had been talking to her. I hadn't seen her at all since the café break-up because I'd been sick, so perhaps something new had happened on the Naruto Front that she was yet to tell me. I crossed my fingers.

But even if he had told her something that looked promising for me, it didn't stop the fact that he and Kiba were being very odd. The sensible part of me said they were always that comfortable because they were best friends, but the jealous teenager side had a very strong urge to yank them apart and tell them to stay away from each other. Naruto was blushing and I knew why, but Kiba… Kiba was flirting!

Oh you traitorous fiend! What are you getting at? How could you possibly do such a thing when your _boyfriend_ is sitting not two feet away?

I stole a glance at Shino, mildly surprised to see his brow creased and his head turned away from the two, clearly uncomfortable. I couldn't see his eyes, but I'd bet anything they were narrowed dangerously. I walked over to sit beside him and nudged him with my foot.

"What's up?"

He shrugged and looked up to face me, eyes hidden as usual behind round dark glasses. A lot of our friends had weird little quirks like this. Gaara and his lack of eyebrows and love kanji tattoo, Naruto and his whisker scars, Kiba and his filed fangs, Shino and his glasses, Neji and Hinata with their creepy pale-to-the-point-of-almost-white eyes, and Choji with his facial scars as well. In fact, we all had something weird going on in some form or another.

"Kiba is being… different. I can't figure it out." His voice was quiet so the other two didn't hear us. Not like they would anyway – they were too intent on discussing some new anime movie to pay attention to anything else.

Well, he never was good with people so I didn't blame him. "In what way?"

There was a brief silence before he said, "He spoke to me about Naruto, and we haven't spent time alone together since then. I think… I think he is afraid of something."

I thought for a moment. "Shino, how long have you and Kiba been together?"

"Almost a year."

"Has –"

"Woo! Time to see some rolling heads!" Tenten's high voice shrieked through the large double glass doors as she waltzed into the cinemas, what looked to be Lee's jacket wrapped tightly around her and a scarf looped around her neck. Lee himself was following close behind, face flushed from the cold and wearing another of his jackets.

Sakura came back from the bathroom looking no different to before and called out a greeting, scooting over to them and immediately engaging in a loud conversation about the rain and how awful it was to a girl's hair. Hello! It's not so great for a guy's either.

I glanced at the clock. Five to six… come on – oh, hello.

Another burst of freezing air and there was Hinata, Neji and Gaara, all dressed in coats and scarves, hands shoved into pockets and – oh, what's that? Gaara had his arm around Hinata's waist…. So, he finally got the balls to ask, did he? Well, let's hope all Hinata's Tenten-snogging paid off. I smirked at him and he nodded in greeting

"Uchiha."

I nodded. "Your sister says sorry but she was only looking out for you."

Hinata's face went a dangerous shade of scarlet as Gaara helped her take off her jacket, mumbling something about interfering sisters not knowing their place and deserving a 'talking to'. Aw, when did he get so nice and protective? I made an educated guess that Temari had grilled Hinata on just what she was expecting out of Gaara and that she better treat him well because he was an unstable boy who didn't need a broken heart added to his burden. Or something to that effect, at least.

"Don't worry, it – it wasn't that bad, really," Hinata said quietly. She had better control over her stutter since I'd last heard her talk. Which was… Oh, _ages_ ago.

Neji crossed the room and sat next to me as his cousin and Gaara started up a hushed conversation. "Have you spoken to your boyfriend lately?"

I rolled my eyes as I watched Lee count out how many people there were. "Where are the others?" He asked, just a little too loudly.

Naruto spoke up. "Sai said it was too cold, the whinger."

Lee shook his head sadly. "No sense of spirit, that boy." When it came to Lee, no one had enough 'spirit'.

"Choji said he had a family thing, and Ino isn't here because Choji's not," Kiba offered.

Tenten rolled her eyes. "What are they, joined at the hip?"

Sakura turned an expectant eye on me, and it was a second before I realised that I was the only one who knew where our last missing friend was. "Shikamaru's out with –" A stern look from Gaara made me not-so-subtly change direction. "– with his father." Hopeless cover, really, but it was the only thing I could think of. Sakura didn't buy it, I could tell by the look in her eyes, but the others seemed fine. Lee came around and got all our money, then bought all our tickets for us at once. Youthfully, of course, and with just a tad too much enthusiasm.

But, to answer Neji's question, "I wasn't aware I had a boyfriend."

He scoffed. "You know what I mean."

"If you mean Blondie, yes I have."

"And…?"

I glanced at him, surprised at the level of concern in his voice. Well, I suppose he had been in on the whole 'force Naruto on Sasuke' thing a while ago, so it was normal for him to want to be up to date. And maybe… maybe Neji would be good to talk to. Sakura would just say 'it's not my place to tell', Gaara would smirk and shrug it off, and Shikamaru would be entirely wrapped up in Temari. Hopefully not yet literally – he was barely sixteen, for God's sake.

"I'll tell you later."

Lee beckoned us all forward and ushered us into the cinema, already half full, and we found our seats. There was a scuffle at first, but then Naruto shut us all up by sitting right in the middle of our line of seats and forced everyone else to sit around him. Kiba and I jumped straight to the places next to him, and Sakura, then Tenten, Lee and Neji sat on my side while Shino was next to Kiba, then Hinata and Gaara.

I resisted the overwhelming need to have a glaring match with Kiba, and my stomach dropped a little as I got a faint waft of what was going on, not liking it one bit. Shit, no wonder Shino was concerned. I scowled at the screen, wanting my thoughts to stay away from that track but failing big-time. I could see all the signs and I couldn't help my instincts from screaming out _No! It's wrong! It's fake!_

It just couldn't be right. Kiba and Shino were… well, Kiba and Shino. Our friends and a couple of the stragglers that we had befriended outside the group all knew and accepted them, and they'd been together so long that it was the norm. They had kept it so well under wraps the whole time they were together because they cared about the other and didn't want them to get hurt, and even though it had gotten a little out of hand since the not-so-subtle sports class incident, they were still there for each other. If they weren't together the world would likely be about to end. No matter what, they were the one constant within our friends. But it couldn't be true – there was no way. Kiba was just being the supportive best friend and Shino was going through a rough patch or… or something. There was definitely a perfectly logical explanation for it.

I wriggled a little in the chair and huffed, and saw Naruto turn to me out of the corner of my eye. That just made me squirm even more, because I still hadn't come up with an answer for him. I knew he wasn't expecting one soon, but I felt bad for not knowing in the first place. I mean, what the hell kind of turn of events was that? Me pretty much shouting out how much I liked him and then not even being able to say why.

Ugh, so pathetic.

"You all right?"

"Fine, dobe." I waved him away with my hand, trying to ignore his annoyed look.

"Teme –"

"Sh, it's starting," I shut him up, wanting to forget reality just for a little while and let go of all the confusion the idiot was making me go through. And I bet he had no idea, either. Hn, figures.

I smiled faintly as I realised that Tenten had picked a very typical movie and rolled my eyes, as within the first two minutes there was already a fight. Straight up, just like that, completely trashing some woman's living room. I looked across Sakura and saw Tenten grinning madly at the screen, positively squirming as the blonde girl pulled out a dagger and stabbed it through the table. She was a sucker for all things shiny, sharp and lethal, which might explain her attraction to Lee. While he was round as opposed to sharp, he was indeed shiny and lethal if you were ever to cross him in a fight. Gaara made that mistake once in year eight and never again.

The movie went on, several people died, there was a bit of a cartoon scene, a giant samurai fight, more people died, there was a lot of blood, then another fight, and more blood, and that was pretty much it. Ah, the joys of Kill Bill. I had to remember to steer Itachi clear of that one. In fact, I wasn't even sure Gaara should be watching it…

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I waved farewell as Tenten and Lee hurried out from the cover of the arcade and dashed across the road into Tenten's mother's car. Lee opened the door for her and gave a mock bow before running over to his side and climbing in. I smiled, just a little. What? It was cute.

I looked around and saw a fixed bench outside the nearby ice cream shop and walked over to it. I sat down heavily and was soon joined by Neji, who raised his eyebrows at Gaara and said, "Are you going to take her home or do I have to do it for you?"

Gaara did the usual I'll-eat-your-brain-later look while Hinata stuttered, "N-Neji, it's fine, r-really. I can get Fa-Father to pick m-me up."

Gaara put an arm over her shoulder and shook his head firmly. "No need, it's only a short walk."

"But it's raining, we'll get drenched!" Where'd her stutter go? Usually Gaara was the cause of people's stutter, not the cure. Aw, isn't that adorable? Yes, yes, I'm very girly in that I think relationships are cute, I already know because Sakura tells me non-stop and then says to stop being so gay. Well, they're cute unless it's Naruto and someone who isn't me; then it's just cruel.

"I have an umbrella." Hah, Gaara with an umbrella produced a weird mental image.

"Demo…"

Then Gaara did something _really_ weird. He smiled. A real, genuine, non-death-promising smile. I was a little shocked, to say the least, but that was nothing compared the close-to-terror feeling when he leaned down and kissed her reassuringly on the forehead. Gaara being romantic? _What_?

"Come on, it'll be fine."

And he steered her out into the rain, pulling out the umbrella and looping an arm around her waist. Now that I thought about it, they sort of complimented each other. Confident and shy, psychotic and relatively normal, general arsehole and really kind, intelligent and a little on the ditsy side – it could work.

I nodded farewell to Kiba and Shino as they passed Neji and I, calling out before I could stop myself, "Hey, chin up, Shino."

He turned to me and I could tell he was surprised behind his glasses. For God's sake, kid, it's night! How can you_possibly_ see anything? But he nodded in understanding and ignored Kiba's confused look. I did the same and turned to Sakura when she tapped me on the shoulder.

"Jiraiya's giving me a lift, how are you getting home?"

I shrugged, not having really thought that far. "I dunno. Bus, I guess."

She gave me that motherly look she does so well that says she doesn't approve but knows arguing won't get anywhere, ruffled my hair and left with Naruto, who gave me a knee-weakening smile as he called out "See ya's bright and early for exams!"

Ugh.

Neji waited until they rounded the corner out of the arcade before turning to me with an expectantly raised eyebrow. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Time to unleash everything that had been stewing in my mind since Naruto's visit on Thursday… Poor Neji.

"Naruto and I don't work."

He didn't answer me straight away, just sat and stared at the shop opposite where we were sitting, which just happened to be Temari's. It was always hard to know what he was thinking – his face was always blank, polite, controlled. You could only ever read him when he was angry, and that was probably the only time you didn't_want_ to know what was going round in that gorgeous genius skull of his.

"What makes you think that?"

I shrugged and sighed, trying to find words to explain how I felt. I've never been good at that. "Well… Sometimes I think we're just too different. When we hated each other I couldn't see how we could ever be friends, and now that we are I don't see how we can be more. He's pretty much everything I'm not, and I just think we're too far apart for anything to go well."

"You never know if you don't try."

"Hn." I kicked my toe at the ground in frustration.

He was silent again, and I folded my arms around my body to protect myself against the frosty night breeze. Shit its cold. Well der, dumbarse, it's seven o'clock and it's winter. It can get like that.

"Sometimes you have to be different for it to work."

"But we're _too_ different."

"Not necessarily. If you take a good look then you'll see you're pretty similar, he just expresses what he feels while you keep it inside. And even then he only shows happiness and keeps the rest bottled up just like you. And if you were the same it would be boring. You have to have differences to keep the relationship alive, if you didn't then there'd be nothing to talk about or get worked up over. It would just be bland and fake. Look at Gaara and Hinata, or Kiba and Shino – they're totally different but totally compatible. It's rare to find someone the same as you that you can have a good relationship with like Choji and Ino or Lee and Tenten. Naruto and Sakura didn't work at all. The fact that you're different is what would make it work."

I stared at the ground, rolling his words around in my head. It made sense, actually. I didn't bother mentioning that any girl and Naruto wouldn't work, feeling it to be unnecessary,.

"Sasuke, why do you like him?"

I glanced up at him sharply, eyes widening a tad in surprise. "Huh, he asked me that the other day."

"Did you tell him?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I didn't know the answer."

That seemed to surprise him. Well, as far as Neji can be surprised, anyway. "Surely you don't just like someone without reason?"

I shrugged and stared back at the ground. I didn't like this whole 'say what you feel' stuff. Man, why was I even doing it anyway? So far every time I had actually let out what was going on in my head, people looked at me like I had some contagious disease because of the simple fact that I was talking to them willingly.

"I… I don't know. I've been thinking about it but nothing I come up with seems good enough."

He was silent for a little while, staring at the ground with his weird eyes. That was his thinking face, and I knew better than to interrupt. I interrupted Gaara once when he had his thinking face on, and he didn't take kindly to me for a while afterwards. I swear that kid's just as insane as my brother a lot of the time.

"I think I know why you like him."

I blinked, looking back up at him. "How can you know if I don't?" That didn't make sense.

He sighed and folded his hands together to rest his chin on them and gave me his young-people-nowadays look. Just because he was a year older than us (he started school late with Lee and Tenten so he was in the same year as us) didn't mean he could start the patronizing thing. "Think about what you just said about being different, then it'll come to you. Just give it time – you two were meant to be together."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't start on the 'fate' thing again."

He sighed stood up. "Come on, it's cold. Let's take a walk to warm up."

I grunted and stood, not in the mood to argue. He did have a point though. I was steadily losing feeling in my toes, despite the two pairs of socks I was wearing. I straightened my coat as I stood up, once again cursing winter for making me look awful. Coats honestly did _nothing_ for my figure. I scowled as I joined Neji for the short walk to the bus stop, and he kept going with his previous train of thought.

"What did he tell you?"

"About what?"

"When he asked you why you like him, what else did he say?"

I frowned in thought. What _did_ he say? When it all came down to it, what was he actually telling me. "He... oh." Yeah, I remembered now. "He said I shut him out so much that he didn't think it was even possible to like me fully, but he liked me on a physical sort of level. It was all very complex, coming from him."

Neji chuckled and nodded. "Yes, he surprises us all the time." Amen to that. "But it's simple, really."

I said nothing, waiting for him to enlighten me. I found this technique to be quite useful when talking to someone as smart as Neji. He could figure people out faster than me, and always knew exactly the right thing to do.

"You have to change."

I stopped short, raising my eyebrows and willing their eyes to go back to their normal size. Eh?

"What?"

He ignored the fact that I'd stopped and kept right on walking, expecting me to follow. I did, of course. Stuck-up bastard.

"You have to let him in if you want to be together, and you have to figure out why you like him and say it."

"But this is me. I'm not changing just because some blonde idiot wants to get to know me. If he doesn't like me the way I am then he's not worth it."

Neji scoffed, raising an eyebrow at me. "Do you honestly believe that?"

I opened my mouth to speak but closed it again, knowing immediately that he was right. Damn him.

And then I realised why I didn't believe it, turned on my heel, and stormed down the stairs that led to the bus stop, "See you Monday" thrown over my shoulder. (1)

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I stuffed my exam timetable into my pocket, hurrying down the stairs to the computer room where, oddly enough, my sports exam was being held. Last time I checked I had two minutes. Crap. I bolted into the classroom, found a desk conveniently next to Naruto and threw my bag down.

"Just in time, Uchiha."

Tenten's smartarse voice sounded from the back corner of the classroom, and I twisted around to pull a face at her. Yes that's right children, Uchiha Sasuke pulled a face. Quite a momentous day. It seemed Tenten thought so too, because she pulled another one back at me after a barely concealed jaw-drop, but I just rolled my eyes and turned back to the front as a loud "Oi, teme!" was shouted to my left. He was what, three feet away? Not shouting distance, that was for sure.

I looked over to him. "Hm?"

"What are you doing after school?"

His hair looked especially nice today, and he seemed to be toning down the orange more and more. Where was his headband? Oh, around his arm. Nice move, dobe. It seems you've done something right for a change.

"Probably convincing my brother he is in fact human and not a dinosaur."

He laughed and I smiled. I felt refreshed. How did he do that?

We both looked up as Kurenai-sensei (oh that's right, our Japanese exam was next. Pah, easy) glided into the room, ever graceful. She reminded me just a little of our cat at home, slinking between the desks and handing out our exam papers. She was a young teacher, and seemed to favour white strappy tops and short skirts – hardly suitable for school. No one complained though, because even I could appreciate that our Japanese teacher was very good-looking, hence every guy except me, Naruto, Kiba and Shino watching her every move. Even Tenten had her eyes glued to her.

I felt a little twinge of pride as Naruto completely ignored her and said to me, "The thing is, that could be true. But anyway, a few of us are freaking about the English exam so we're going to the library to help each other out. Shikamaru's coming, but two brains are better than one for us retards."

"You're not retards; you're just a little slower than the rest of us."

He laughed and was about to respond when Kurenai-sensei held up her hands, skirt riding to dangerous heights, and called for silence. How could she be wearing clothes like that when it was threatening to pour down outside?

"For those of you who don't know me, my name is Kurenai. Gai-sensei is taking a class so I'm looking after you for the exam, and in most cases you will have a different teacher than the one who normally takes your class. There will be no talking, there will be no note-passing, there will be no noise or possible cheating of any kind or you'll have Ibiki-sensei to answer to." A collective shudder went round the class. "You have ninety-minutes. You may start."

And the pelvis is connected to the, spi-ine and the spine is connected to the… ooo, which way am I gonna go? Sternum or scapulas? Choices, choices… And the spine is connected to the, sternum and the sternum's connected to the, ribcage and back up to the top now! The spine is connected to the, scapulas, and the scapulas are connected to the, collar bones… At least I think they are. Are they? Oh well, that'll have to do.

No matter how much I studied, Naruto being next to me was messing with my head.

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If part of changing for the damn dobe meant more talking, then it would have to happen. I'd just have to imagine I was talking to either Shikamaru or Sakura, and hopefully it'd all roll from there.

Deep breaths, Sasuke, they're not gonna eat you. Except maybe Choji, but he's not even here so no dramas. Hopefully Ino hasn't taken up the habit since she's been with him.

"So what are your electives for next semester?" We'd put them in the week before and I saw that the classes were posted up outside the Middle-School Office this morning, but couldn't be bothered checking out who else was in my classes.

Several pairs of eyes became very wide and turned to bore holes of wonder through me. Come on, is it really so interesting? I've been in the library with you for the past hour yet when I talk it's so amazing? Tenten and Shikamaru seemed to be the only ones unaffected, although Kiba didn't seem more shocked as mildly annoyed that Naruto was positively beaming at me from across the table. I counted that as my reward. Naruto being proud of me, not Kiba being annoyed. That just wouldn't make sense.

I had to wrench myself away from fantasy land to tune in to people's answers. I wasn't greatly interested, but found out that so far Tenten, Ino, Kiba and Gaara were doing drama with me, and Tenten, Shikamaru and Gaara were in my metalwork class as well.

"I've got drama and another sport. Outdoor, I think."

Great, so a good and a bad cancelled each other out to make just a plain indifferent line of nothingness. On one hand I had Naruto (blonde sex god), yet on the other I had Inuzuka Kiba (Dog Boy), who had a very strange relationship with said sex god.

Life basically hated me right about now.

But still, having Naruto in my class pretty much overrode any feelings of contempt I held for the Inuzuka, and so I was, as of now, officially looking forward to next semester.

"I want to change out of drama, though." He shuddered a little.

No! I inwardly screeched, while on the outside I gave him my best confused look. I didn't know if I got it right, having never done it that much, and so asked, "Why?" just to make sure.

"I know the guy teaching it, and he's a total creep."

"Oh my God, is it Kakashi-sensei?" Nice one, Ino.

He gave a small laugh. "Nope, but he is a perve. He should _so_ not be allowed in a school."

"Who is it?" Was that Gaara sounding intrigued?

He shrugged and looked around at everyone's (bar mine and Shikamaru's) eager faces, obviously milking the attention for all it was worth.

"Well, Tsunade said I wasn't meant to tell…"

I rolled my eyes as Ino said, "Please! You can't leave us hanging!" Is it possible for her voice to get even whinier?

He sighed dramatically (hah, we were talking about drama) and shook his head. He was probably stirring them all and really had no idea who it was. He would do that, just to mess with us.

"Nah, I really can't tell – Tsunade will get pissed at me big time. You know what she's like when she's angry."

Did we ever. No wait… what?

"She gets angry?" Shikamaru asked, sounding surprised. Well, for him anyway.

Naruto nodded, confused.

"I thought she just cruised on mildly annoyed with the occasional joke thrown in amongst the paperwork complaints."

Naruto laughed and shook his head. I think I was the only one who saw that it was extremely forced and his eyes stayed dull. "No, no, she gets mad. You only see her at assemblies – I have to live with her."

I completely tuned out after that, and alternated between watching Naruto's fake happiness and doing the workbook questions. After a solid half hour of rolling thoughts around in my skull, I came to a decision.

If Naruto could make me change, then I could do the same for him.

* * *

__

Oh my God, I _always_ either forget the footnotes or remember at the very last second. So, just ignore the ones from last chapter – they're really not that important. Though they never really are, to be honest, but whatevs XP. Although I'm _so_ sorry for the amazingly awful pun for the second one.

And this chapter's footnote…

I seem to be failing more and more with my humour lately, and this story's getting more serious than I had planned. –dodges watermelons- I'm sorry!!

So yeah… You know the drill, peeps. Push the button and review, before I break out into that Sugababes song again XP. The more I get the faster I update. This is not a very good chapter. I apologise.


	15. And So It Begins

Hah, the start of this was so fun to write and I don't know why XP It makes me giggle.

Japanese and Yr 12 History are taking over my _life_!! A word of advice, people: don't do such an intense yr 12 subject in yr 11, and do _not_ do Saturday morning language classes. –dies–

My foot's asleep! ARGH! I quite literally can't move it. Oh gosh. This is slightly unnerving. Hmm...

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

* * *

15. AND SO IT BEGINS…

The ominous dark blue envelope protruded from the letterbox, a giant billboard announcing my doom to the world.

Okay, not quite that dramatic, but close to it.

I eyed said envelope warily for a moment, knowing that it was impossible for my parents to have sent a reply so fast all the way from New Zealand. Unless they had owls, of course, then they'd get – Sasuke, stop being weird and open the damn thing.

Right, the envelope… Perhaps a little longer. If I stare enough I might confused-glare it out of existence.

I was in a very odd mood today, having confidently completed both my sport and Japanese exam, gotten Naruto to be proud of me and scored an extra class with him next year. Oh yes, I was in an odd (a.k.a. happy) mood all right, which was why I was standing in front of my letterbox for a good fifteen minutes before actually gaining the courage to open the letter and destroy my day, looking for all the world like someone had just thrown up on my shoe. The letter felt normal, it looked normal, but as they say – never judge a book by its cover. Or judge someone before you get to know them. Or judge in general.

It is widely recognised to be what is known as a 'bad move'.

Unless of course you are a judge, then it's perfectly reasonable and you can judge your life away. In this case, however, I was entirely correct in my assumption that what the envelope contained was going to be something that made me want to yell. Very loudly and for a very long time.

Guess who's going to Kiwi land for the winter holidays? Sasuke is!

And I do the mental dance of despair while – oh, what's that?

I pulled out a thin folded note and opened it, recognising my father's no-nonsense handwriting.

_Sasuke,_

_We waited so long for your reply and when none came we assumed that you were waiting to see us, so we have enclosed a plane ticket for you to visit. We trust you to tell your brother where you are going and to come up with a suitable excuse for your sudden departure. There are many people here that we would like you to meet and ask that you pack acceptable clothes for dining out._

_We are looking forward to seeing you,_

_Mother and Father_

The way they put it made it sound as if I was getting invited to some work function, not to see my family who I haven't seen in, oh… four or five years? Yep, since the holidays between primary school and high school. Crap, that meant I'd get all those 'look how much you've grown!'s and 'oh aren't you handsome's from Mum. And _damnit_! If I was leaving then Kiba would be left alone with Naruto, and by the looks of things Kiba wasn't paying much attention to Shino anymore. Which meant that all that attention would be directed to Naruto… which equaled a big fat 'alert' sign for me.

Did Kiba seriously have no morals? Did he think it would be okay to just jump from Shino to Naruto in the space of a week and completely leave Shino in the dark? Did he think it was okay to even mildly _like_ another guy while in a relationship? And it was Shino! Sure he was quiet a just a tad on the freaky side, but he was a really sweet guy when he deemed you worthy to be his friend, and Kiba was… Kiba was being an arse, that's all there was to it.

I pushed open our front door with a thoughtful frown, and was greeted by the unexpected sight of Itachi playing with a light bulb. Warning sirens had a party in my head. _Bad_ combination! I slipped out of my shoes, hung up my coat and dropped my bag before he noticed me, and when he did he gave me a very stern look, mouth set in a determined line.

"Sasuke, I'm glad you're here." His voice had a very business-like tone to it that reminded me of Mum when she was a little disappointed.

"Yes…?"

He pointed a finger towards the living room and I got the hint and walked over to the couch, sitting down nervously. He sat on the ground in front of me and crossed his legs, picking up a list that was on the coffee table.

"Now, I was watching the news when I got home from rehearsal today and I saw a shocking report on global warming. As of today we are going to turn everything off at the switch, have no more than three lights on at once, use only minimal heating, walk as often as possible despite the weather, change every globe in the house to an energy-saving one, forget television completely, and yes that includes all your consoles and movies, and despite it being winter we are going to save as much water as possible so that in the long run it will be better for the summer. Are we clear? Are there any questions?"

I learnt a long time ago not to ask questions when Itachi was completely set on an idea. It only got him questioning it himself then wondering if it was the right thing to do, then he got into the consequences and costs and how big of an impact it would have and whether we would be able to keep it up and oh it all just rolled downhill from there, eventually winding up as a huge pile of mess that he usually came out of with a different personality. Nope, questions were a no-go zone.

I shook my head. "Nope, perfectly understood."

He beamed at me. "Great! So, how was school?"

I thought for a second, weighing my options. On the one hand he seemed to be in a good mood, so bringing up New Zealand might be safe, but on the other he was still insane and prone to snapping without the slightest warning. Eh.

"Do you remember that trip to New Zealand that I applied for?"

He furrowed his brows, confused, and shook his head. "No, why?"

Well of course you don't remember – it never actually happened. A bit of bullshitting never hurt anyone.

I shrugged. "Are you sure? I was talking to you about it the other day."

He shook his head again.

"Oh, well I put my name down to go to New Zealand these holidays and got in, they gave us our tickets and all that stuff today. I'm leaving on Sunday."

He raised an eyebrow and did a lopsided smirk. "Are you making this up?"

Argh! "No."

His eyes narrowed and I did my best not to squirm. He looked angry for a brief moment before his face broke into a huge smile and he jumped up to ruffle my hair. "Okay! That's cool!"

And proceeded to prance out of the living room and through to the kitchen, no doubt starting dinner. I rolled my eyes. Standing off the couch, I winced at the loud clanging sounds as various kitchen utensils were pulled from cupboards, and made my way airily to my room. I say airily because in my odd mood I was walking rather slowly and realised I had a faint smile. Naruto was weird like that. Mm, Naruto…

I sat down at my desk and pulled out my history folder. Studying for maths was a waste of time because I knew it all already, and history was at least mind-numbingly boring so it would stop me thinking about Naruto.

Hm, I needed a plan. And it had to be a damn good one. One that would make him forget about Kiba entirely and realise that he really did like me. Because he did, he said it himself. He just had to see that he really liked me liked me, not just liked me. Mmhm.

I felt vaguely like one of those creepy stalker girls that tried relentlessly to get the guy to like them but failed miserably. I got rid of that idea quickly, not sitting well with it, and reasoned that it was most certainly not like that because there were more issues involved. Such as Naruto already liking me but being a tad confused about his best friend, said best friend already being in a relationship, and said relationship getting very rocky and upsetting one of my friends for no real reason, because the object of my affection's best friend was also a little confused and was making a_huge_ mistake.

Oh, feel the drama people.

I spent half an hour staring down a hierarchy chart of the feudal Japan, realising that my original idea of numbing my brain into non-Narutoness completely failed, when an idea finally came to me. After another half an hour of careful thought, I got up and flopped down on my bed, deciding it wasn't worth wasting a brilliant mind such as my own on history. I just had to figure out the 'when' and 'what' and I'd be on a straight path to winning Naruto over completely.

"Sasuke-e!"

Itachi's voice was a high-pitched shriek, the kind that just oozed 'I've done something awful and you're gonna hate me for it', so I groaned and pushed myself off my bed. I hurried out to the kitchen – to find a delicious-smelling pot of curry but no Itachi. I could have_sworn_ his voice was coming from here. More sounds of distress came floating through to the kitchen.

"_Kuso_!" I muttered, and whirled around to take the five or so steps to get into the living room, but – _wham!_

There was my brother, there was his two raised fingers, and… any second now… yep, there was the face-splitting pain that came with it. How he managed to put all that force behind his index and middle finger never ceases to amaze me.

"What was that for?" I growled, rubbing my head. I glared up at him, already aware that it would have no effect but not caring in the slightest.

He just grinned widely at me and ruffled my hair. "No reason. It just used to be so cute the way you'd run after me and then _smack_! Right in the forehead. Aah, good times, bro."

He got this distant look in his eyes so I hit him in the arm to bring him back from his sudden bout of nostalgia. "Maybe when I was six, which was what – ten years ago?"

"Oh quit your whinging. It was just a bit of fun."

"Hn."

"You're such an arse, Sasuke. I'm going to Kisame's, you can order takeaway or whatever. Just don't burn the house down."

You know, I reckon there should be some kind of Dealing With Insane Brother's Mood Swings Award, and I should win it every damn year.

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What the hell was Kakashi playing at?

My little plea that he wouldn't be taking any of our exams was completely overlooked and he was sitting at the front of the class, reading one of those porn books that he really shouldn't be allowed to have around us kids. I was glaring at him over Naruto's head, and he looked up occasionally to give me a one-eyed pirate smile. One day, that man is going _down_.

It was our maths exam this morning, and to make things easier (though I don't know how they gathered that), they just dumped us all in our home group and gave us whatever exam we needed depending on what maths class we were in, and considering our home group was our English class and Kakashi-sensei was our teacher, he'd been given the task of mathsing it up with us. He hadn't been late for what must've been the first time in his life, but then he wouldn't let us sit down because he wanted to choose seats for us, putting us with people who he thought we wouldn't be distracted by. So who does he put me with? Naruto. Of all the bloody people in the class, he puts me end to end on a table with Naruto.

Does anyone see the sense in that? No? Neither do I.

I'd finished my exam ages ago, and had spent the last ten minutes glaring at my teacher. Every now and then Naruto would glance up, probably thinking I was looking at him, then see I was still directing my gaze straight over his head and look back down again. He was doing that thing that I did where I stuck my tongue out in concentration, and for some reason it made me smile. That was one thing we had in common, at least.

Just as Naruto put his pen down with a huff the bell rang. Kakashi-sensei snapped his porno book shut and stood up from his desk to gather up the papers.

"Pens down everyone, leave your papers where they are and you can go."

Naruto jumped up instantly with a grin and looked at me expectantly as Kiba materialised at his shoulder. "You coming, teme?"

Kiba snickered, I chose to ignore the potentially sexual side to that comment, having a maturity level far beyond such things, and shook my head. "No, I have to talk to Kakashi-sensei."

"Oh, is _that_ who you were staring at the whole time?"

Kiba snickered again. "Teacher-student relationships are generally frowned upon, Uchiha."

"So are dogs coming inside when they're not allowed. Better get out before the master sees you, Inuzuka. Go on." I clapped my hands and whistled, motioning to push him out the door.

He proved my point even more by baring his filed canines at me and growling. He turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, yanking a very disappointed looking Naruto after him. I felt a twinge of regret for the retort, but knew that nothing could have stopped me saying it. I really would have to learn to keep my mouth shut, especially around Naruto. Ah well, can't be helped.

"That wasn't very nice, Sasuke."

I turned to scowl at my teacher. "Neither was what you pulled. What the hell was putting us together supposed to achieve? I thought said to stop playing your twisted game of matchmaker."

He tutted at me and picked up the last of the exam papers, sitting back at his desk before answering. He reminded me fleetingly of a pirate lord, all high and mighty behind his pile of treasure. Arr, Captain Kakashi. Ooh, what was Naruto doing to me!

"I did nothing of the sort."

I scoffed.

"I promise you, I wasn't. If you and Naruto were on opposite sides of the room, the both of you would be glancing up every ten seconds to look at the other, so by putting you directly opposite I ensured that you'd be more inclined to do your exam because it would be extremely obvious that you were staring."

I narrowed my eyes, seriously hating to admit that he had a fair point. Why is it so impossible to prove teachers wrong? "Fine, but you better not have any ideas up your sleeve."

He sighed dramatically and waved a hand. "Sasuke, you disappoint me. You should know me better than that."

I resisted the urge to go 'Now see here…' with one hand on my hip and the other waving around wildly, and instead turned on my heel. When I got to the door, I half-turned to give him a concerned look over my shoulder.

"You know, it's just a little disturbing how intent you are on getting us together. Is there actually a reason, or are you just way more perverted that I thought?"

He shrugged. "Iruka has his reasons."

I scoffed again and shook my head. 'Iruka', _sure_.

But whatever, I had a history exam to get to, and there'd be hell to pay if Ibiki-sensei was taking care of it. I hurried down the steps to the room it was being held in, all the while praying that Ibiki-sensei wasn't there.

Please have another class, please have another class, please have – _Yes_!

A young teacher that I'd seen around but hadn't pain much attention to was standing at the front of the room, chewing on a toothpick and looking worse than Shikamaru on one hour of sleep. Which was quite an achievement, I must say – that boy takes laziness to extremes, and when little sleep is involved he pretty much loses the will to speak.

Speaking of my lazy pal… Aha!

My eyes scanned the room until I found him right at the back, and I began to weave my way between the tables. As I passed by them I tugged Sakura's hair, noted Ino's 'I heart Choji' fest on the back of her hand, pulled Neji's hair tie out and smirked as he freaked in a very controlled way, copped an eyeful of sparkling teeth and a thumbs up from Lee, and chose to ignore Hinata and Shino entirely. Hinata looked like she'd just found out she could fly, and Shino looked as though someone had just killed his favourite bug specimen and explained every bug-juicy detail. In other words, insanely happy and very depressed.

I sat down heavily opposite Shikamaru, the only sign that he even knew I was there being a twitch of the index finger in a rude cop-out of a wave. His head was flat on the desk of course, one arm tucked under it and the other, the waving hand, splayed out in front of him. I kicked him into life under the table and smiled when he tried to glare at me just as the teacher groaned, "Sorry kids, I've got the wrong exam papers. Great. Stay in your seats and don't move till I get back. I won't be long."

I waited until he left the room in all his toothpickyness and said to Shikamaru, "Oi, has Naruto been talking to you lately?"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "No, Temari's been taking up all my time."

I smirked and winked knowingly at him, and he sighed.

"I know what you're thinking Uchiha, and the answer is no. Jeez, it hasn't even been a week yet."

"Joke, Nara, joke. I know you're smarter than that, although she probably isn't."

"Tch, she's intelligent. Kankuro's the only one that missed out on getting a brain."

I snorted. He got that right, that was for sure. I'd only met the middle sibling once, and to be honest he weirded me out. He didn't scare me, of course not, but I mean come on, he wore copious amounts of purple eyeliner as part of his every day outfit. While most people might think that's normal, the amount Kankuro piles on is not. Gave him a bit of mystery – or so he thought. Really he just looked like a drag-queen who hadn't found her true calling yet. And I won't go into his puppet-fetish…

I remembered something I'd been meaning to do and spun around in my seat, finding Sakura with my eyes.

Ino looked up and saw me trying to send meaningful glances her way, and nudged Sakura, nodding in my direction to get her to turn around.

"What?" She asked.

I glanced out the window, and upon seeing that Toothpick was coming back, said hurriedly, "What time do you finish work tomorrow?"

She gave me a confused look but said, "Six, why?"

"My house at six-thirty."

Then Toothpick-sensei told me to ask her on a date some other time, I told him she wasn't my type in the slightest, he sighed, told me not to answer back, chewed his toothpick, and I prepared myself for ninety minutes of crap about feudal Japan.

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"Dobe, hurry up. Itachi could be bulldozing my house and turning it into a mud cave by now."

He gave me a weird look and I almost smacked myself in the forehead when I remembered that I hadn't told him about Itachi's new 'let's go live with the animals' approach to life. I'd started off as ignoring it and thinking that it wouldn't last, but it had been just on two days now and he hadn't changed at all. Perhaps it was the upcoming show that made his mind stay focused… Whatever, it was annoying.

I waited with arms crossed as Naruto ended his conversation with I'm-a-crap-cheating-deceitful-shifty-horrible-boyfriend Inuzuka, and narrowed my eyes as they gave each other a mid-five (it was waist height, hence the 'mid-five), Kiba's hand sort of latching onto Naruto's after they clapped and lingering for just a tad too long.

Oh, that kid was _so_ going down with Kakashi. Well, he would be if Shino wasn't still completely in love with him. I trusted Shino to fix it, but damn it all if he wasn't taking his time about it.

Naruto seemed to notice, because he blushed crimson and ducked his head a little, smiling sheepishly up at his friend. Yes,_ friend_. Not_ boyfriend_, Naruto. That person is standing behind you, waiting patiently for you to walk home with him under the pretence of needing help with science work. Well, future boyfriend anyway – hopefully.

Finally the two turned away from each other, but not before Kiba shot me a take-that-Uchiha look and left in the opposite direction to us as we came to the bottom of the hill. How the bloody hell did I end up competing with someone who had a boyfriend? That was just crap. I huffed and turned away after sending him a death glare, waiting for Naruto to catch up.

"What's up, teme?"

I took a deep breath, saving the murder plans for later, and did my best to smile at the dobe.

"Nothing."

He looked sceptical. "What's your problem with Kiba?"

I couldn't help my shoulders tensing. "How long have you got?"

He kicked hard at a stone on the ground, stuffing his hands into his coat pockets. "You seriously think you're all high and mighty, don't you? You reckon you can lord it over all of us and make judgements. Man, you got issues."

I shrugged. "Ino's already told me so you're a bit late in figuring it out. I did ages ago."

He ignored me completely. Yup, typical. "I just don't get you. You're so tough but you're such a girl."

"H-"

"Shut it, I'm not done."

I was shocked into silence more than anything. He… Wow. Ah, the day Naruto grew some balls and stood up to me good and proper.

"You seem so together but you're the most unstable of us all. Actually, second most."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Gaara, der."

Hm, psycho ramblings, an imaginary friend up until last year, mood swings that rivalled my brother, and an unnatural love for blood and gore and murder and all things nasty in general were usually added together to mean 'unstable!' in big flashing neon colours. Yep, that was Gaara.

We checked the road both ways before crossing, and he continued. "You have a thing for staring at Kakashi-sensei but say you hate him – though I'm not sure I want to know the reasoning behind that one. You suddenly started hating Kiba after I told him I liked him, and you say you like me but you're still a right prick most of the time. Dude, you're weird."

Ignore the insults. He's worth the pain. That's it. I stepped over a fallen branch and scowled into my collar, the spitting image of Shino. Minus the glasses, the afro and the pet dog… meaning Kiba. So not really Shino at all, but you get it.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that."

He scuffed his shoe on the ground again and gave me a look that said 'go on'.

"I've decided that every day, for as long as it takes, I'm going to tell you one reason I like you and one thing about me that you don't know."

"Are you, now?"

"Yes, and in return you'll tell me one reason why you like either Kiba or me, and one thing about you that _I_ don't know." If this didn't work for keeping him interested and showing that I could change for him, then all my ideas were shot. I guess that's why they say 'always have a back-up plan'… Bah. My plans always worked.

"Am I just?"

"Yes. I have a cat called Same, and you can make anyone smile, even me."

He snorted and gave me a disbelieving look, ignoring my reason for liking him entirely. "You have a _cat_ called _Shark_?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Itachi named it after his… friend."

He grinned. "Friend or _friend_?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "Friend, dobe. Just friend." I'd save that bit of information for when I was really scrounging for stuff to tell him about me, providing it kept going that long (please, no), and make up some crap about… oh, an insight into my life? Yes, that'd have to do. We turned the second last corner before my house just as a flash of lightning lit up the sky, the dark clouds overhead making it darker than it should have been at three in the afternoon. We both looked up with a frown, waiting for the thunder to judge how far away it – oh, apparently not very. Five minutes until home, five minutes until a warm house. Or not warm, depending on whether Itachi deemed it cold enough to use heating today. Sadistic psycho.

But I needed some information before I got home, so Naruto better stop looking so… odd, and start spilling.

His brow was furrowed when he said, "How about I skip on the inside-info and give you a reason each about you and Kiba?"

I shook my head firmly. "No way. I tell, you tell. Fair's fair."

He laughed a little. "You like doing things like that, don't you?"

I shrugged. "If you don't tell me then I won't tell you, simple as that."

He sighed loudly and hunched down a little further as another roll of thunder echoed around. Sometimes I couldn't help thinking we were in a giant snow globe and the thunder was actually some sad kid with no life tapping at the glass. Not likely, but still… I bet he's laughing.

"Okay… Anō… My parents died just after I was born and I like Kiba 'cos he's great fun."

Great, two useless facts. I don't want to know about Kiba!

"I already know about your parents. Pick another one."

He stopped walking to scowl at me, and I faced him with my eyebrows raised. Who else could possibly pull off such an adorable scowl? Do not ruffle his hair.

"Look, Sasuke, I… I don't want to. I'll give you all the reasons why I like the both of you, even though I've already explained the iffiness with yours, but I don't feel like telling you the ins and outs of my life."

I ruffled his hair. And did a mental facepalm. He frowned at me and smoothed it back in place, even though it'd barely moved, and I sighed, walking forwards again. "Why do you think I'm doing this?"

I heard him swear before jogging to catch up with me. "I dunno, Uchiha, you tell me."

"You said you couldn't like me because you didn't know me, so I'm giving you an opportunity. I realised that the main reason I like you is because you're hot, but hadn't been able to explain it beyond that. I want to get to know you and you want to get to know me, so I figured this would work. Get it?"

He raised his head just a little, eyes narrowing slightly before crinkling as his mouth stretched in a huge grin. I felt the familiar butterflies in my stomach and smiled just a tiny bit in return.

"You're seriously… you're… wow, man. Awesome!"

I raised an eyebrow. Oh yes, I definitely know what he means. Note the sarcasm, people. "I'm what?"

He shook his head, still smiling. "You're really… you're really going to open up? No more 'rargh I hate the world' stuff?"

I snorted. "There'll still be plenty of that, but maybe you'll find out why."

He laughed and we turned the final corner, my house halfway along the street. I wanted time to slow down so I could spend more time with him, but knew that was a hopeless wish. I mean come on, I was good, but not that good.

"I guess I have to then, don't I?"

I nodded.

"Well…" He frowned in thought for a moment. "Fine, I've been to five foster families."

I raised an eyebrow. "That many?"

"Yeah, that many… They were all crap, too."

I snuck a look at him through my fringe, and stopped myself from asking why, seeing that he was uncomfortable. I frowned, remembering all the sad pictures and lyrics and whatnot up on his wall from when I went over there. There was so much more to him than I thought. So I said nothing and glanced up just in time to see that we had almost walked past my house.

I stopped and backed up a step as I said, "Hey, this one, remember?"

He turned around and glanced up at the sky as the third roll of kid-tapping-at-the-snow-globe thunder sounded and shook his head. What?

"I thought you needed help with science?"

"You're not the only smart one – I'm going to Shikamaru's. Who knows what you'll do to me if we're alone again."

Oh the possibilities! I scolded myself to keep my thoughts in check when he was around, and that I was free to let my imagination wander when I was meant to be studying. It was more productive at least, but let's not go into that.

"Funny, dobe. If I remember correctly, so far it's been you to make the move every time."

"Is that a complaint?"

"Definitely not." How could he even suggest such a thing?

"Just as well."

I turned to walk up the short garden path and waved over my shoulder as Naruto called out a farewell. I was just about at my door and having a very serious battle with a smile when I heard running footsteps behind me. Turning, I caught a blur of blonde just in time before I felt a soft pair of cold lips against my cheek. I barely had time to register what had happened before Naruto grinned at me.

"Thanks, teme," he said, and dashed off down the street

I smiled. Take _that_, Dog Boy.

* * *

I agree. Actually, I love Kiba, but that boy needs to be kicked into line. You just wait for the next chapter. Aeigh! 

Just for the record, the cat's name, Same, is pronounced Sah-meh. You know, the whole phonetic sounding thing when you Romanise Japanese words.

Question: Is Shisui an Uchiha, or some other random clan member that Itachi was friends with? I have to have to have to know. Thankees.

And I assure you, this chapter is relevant later. Chap 14 not so much, but this one yes. Hang in there, faithful awesome reviewer people!

-dances- push the button, push-push, the button –end dance, bow- Thankyou.

WY


	16. All Noisy On The Naruto Front

Crap, I just realised I hadn't done the proper season dates for the northern hemisphere, so when Sasuke boy goes to NZ the seasons and their corresponding months will be wacked. My bad, but just ignore it and all will be well…

**Important Notice:** Who wants to see Itachi in a particular mood? Want him to do something? Say anything? Make someone _extremely_ uncomfortable around him? Tell me! I need ideas for his insaneness so I'm scabbing off you guys XP. If I use it I'll let you know and credit you before the chapter. So come on, people. Suggest away! XD

And review, review, review! I think I can stop saying that now. Wooow –feels amazingly loved-

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

* * *

16. ALL NOISY ON THE NARUTO FRONT

"So… Saw ya walking home with Naruto yesterday."

"Did you now?"

She grinned and kicked her feet against the carpet, swinging her legs. Now would be a good time for someone to explain to me why the hell I sat opposite her when there was a free spot on Naruto's table that some drooling clueless girl was bound to – yep, there it goes. My last hope of escape unless I wanted to be gawked at, too. I took a little comfort in the fact that he suddenly began looking very ill as she batted her eyelashes at him.

"Yep. I had work and you didn't wait for me, so I was stuck walking with Gaara while you two skipped on home." She gave a shudder for good measure.

"Sorry I wasn't there to escort you."

She waved away the apology, obviously mistaking it as sincere. "I don't care. What I _do_ care about is what you and Naruto were talking about."

I groaned and hit my head on the table after a quick glance at the clock. Five more minutes until Iruka-sensei got here and the torture would end, provided he was actually taking us for his own exam.

"No, no, no and to every question after that, no."

She rested her chin on her hands and sighed. "You want to tell me, you _so_ do."

Silence.

"Please?"

More silence.

"What if I figure it out?"

Even more silence.

"Come _on_!"

Have a guess. Yep, silence.

"Why not?"

Okay, I'll answer that one. I lifted my head with a scowl. Three minutes of pain to go.

"I would have told you if you came round yesterday, but you didn't so you obviously can't want to know that badly."

She kicked me under the table and I winced. That was gonna bruise. "I already told you that my parents were being fun-nazis and wouldn't let me, so get over it."

That is now four – no… argh, six people out of our group that had no issues telling me to shove it. Sakura, Naruto, Ino (though that was only a very brief moment of courage), Gaara, Neji and Shikamaru. The number had doubled since the very start of the year. Oh no, I was losing my touch, apparently. Curse you, Naruto!

"I'll 'get over it' if you come over tonight instead."

"Why are you so determined to have me over?"

I shrugged. "I haven't spoken to you since just before you and Naruto broke up."

"That was only a week and a bit ago."

"So?"

"Meaning you can't go more than a week without needing to wean some piece of information out of me. Oh how you use me, Sasuke. It hurts, right in here." She made her voice all over-dramatic and put a hand over her heart, her expression twisted into one of shock and pain. She dropped the look after a second and grinned at me, kicking me under the table again but much softer this time, only just missing the sore spot that she hit before. "You're so moody that he must've said something bad, but I honestly can't come over until… Saturday, I think. We finish at twelve on Friday, yeah?"

I nodded and looked up at the clock again. Two minutes.

"Which means that I'll probably be working from one 'til whenever, so I won't see you 'til Saturday."

I sighed and shrugged, admitting defeat. "Fine." Then I remembered something. "That's the day before I go away."

She gave me a confused look. "What? Where?"

I judged the level of noise in the room to be loud enough to smother my words, but didn't want to take the chances of saying 'my parents' with a full class around me, and so said, "New Zealand for a couple of weeks," and gave her a meaningful look.

Her jaw dropped, and it was a few seconds before she realised and closed it. "B-But… _what_? You can't go away!"

I narrowed my eyes, not bothering to ask why.

"You're missing out on mine and Ino's party!"

Was that seriously all she could think about? Never mind the fact that I'm seeing my parents for the first time in God knows how long, the same parents who wouldn't give a damn about me if not for the fact that I was the last Uchiha son. Never mind that I'm most likely going to be forced to accept taking over my dad's company whether I wanted to or not, or that I was going to get introduced to every lovely Kiwi girl that they'd found. Never mind that I'm leaving Naruto with _Kiba _for two weeks, either. At least Shikamaru had the decency to look mildly concerned. And ugh, why would I want to go to that? Awful music, squealing girls who hadn't cottoned on that I pushed every single one of them away and flirted with guys so therefore must be _gay_ (oh the horror), and watching Kiba neglect his boyfriend for Naruto. Wow, sounds like a bundle of fun.

I blinked, feigned shock and said, "Whoa, I care so little I almost passed out." (1)

She stared at me. One minute to go. She was still staring. Zero seconds. That's a little unnerving now. Oh come on, where the hell are you, Iruka-sensei? Negative thirty seconds. I liked to be on time, and as of now our exam should have started one minute ago. Eek, what if he was with Kakashi-sensei? Steer away from that thought now, that's it. Concentrate on glaring at Sakura. Do not think about Iruka and Kakashi. Oh, she's looking rather murderous now. Negative two minutes. What was I going to tell Naruto today? That kept me occupied for a little while. Negative four minutes. _Still_ staring, her eyes dangerously narrow. I stared back. Negative five minutes. Okay, I've had enough now.

"What?"

She shrugged but didn't take her eyes off me. "Nothing, nothing."

I intensified my glare slightly. "Then stop –"

The door burst open and an embarrassed Iruka-sensei all but fell into the room. He looked thoroughly messed up, and Sakura and I raised our eyebrows at each other. So Kakshi-sensei _was_ keeping him back. Ew.

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I sighed and watched the clock, glancing across at Naruto every now and then. I'd already decided what I was going to tell him today, I was just hoping that he didn't give me another reason for liking Kiba. Obviously I didn't care anywhere near as much about why he liked him instead of me, but admittedly it was still interesting to see just why he was attracted to Dog Breath. I personally couldn't see anything beyond the fact that he was hot.

I rested my chin on my palm and flicked through the English dictionary in front of me, looking up random words – ones I already knew from Itachi's random teachings just to make sure he wasn't messing with me for a laugh, and ones I was curious about. Seriously though, that exam was so easy. Sure I had an advantage because I'd started learning from a really young age and had a brother who was willing to teach me more when he didn't want to kill me or stop global warming, but that didn't change the fact that it was far too easy. Kakashi-sensei probably didn't even know what he'd taught us so just wrote something up that he mistook for being at our level when really it was probably two years below. Granted, nobody did anything in class so for most people it would've been hard, but I was a genius. Things came naturally to me.

Yes I know that sounds cocky, I thought we'd established that I'm full of myself.

I amused myself for a good ten minutes by watching our current sensei wandering aimlessly around the room. He reminded me of Toothpick in the way he stood and his general attitude – the how-did-I-get-conned-into-this-_again_ stance. I named him Scarface, which is mighty original, of course. He sounded like a pirate. Hey, Toothpick had a bandana, maybe they were both pirates and Kakashi was their captain. I could just imagine it, all three of them walking along a beach, swords in hand, drunk of their faces on rum and singing at the top of their lungs. Iruka didn't quite fit into the picture, but he did have a scar so maybe he was the cabin boy or something. We all know what the cabin boys get up to…

Thankfully the bell saved me from ending that train of thought, and we all waited in silence for Scarface to collect our exams and dismiss us. When he finally droned at us that we could leave, I casually made my way out of the class and to my locker, one ear on Kiba and Naruto's conversation and one eye on Shino, who had just arrived at the lockers after his whatever exam. Dog Boy and Naruto were laughing loudly about something, and Shino was glaring through his glasses at his lock, just standing there and doing nothing. The only thing that gave away his anger was the slight crease in his brow and his stiff shoulders.

I couldn't help grinning a little evilly as Kiba walked over to his locker, shouting out something about Naruto's face, and stood right next to Shino without even acknowledging him. Oh no, he looked at him. Briefly. God, Kiba's thick.

"What have you got tomorrow, Shino?"

I fought the urge to smack my head against my locker as Shino mumbled his reply, too quiet for me to hear. Kiba said something back, squeezed his hand sadly and turned around to find Naruto.

It's funny how in the space of five minutes the locker area can be totally crammed to the doors with year ten boys fighting to get their bags and then only contain about ten people in it in total. Meaning Naruto wasn't that hard to find, even if he was half-hidden by me as I fought to pull my bag out from its hiding place among several large text books and a folder with loose bits of paper tucked here and there.

"Hey, Kit!"

Naruto stopped frowning at me, I continued ignoring him, and Kiba came to stand on my other side.

"Yeah?"

"Wanna grab something to eat down at Main Street?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nah, I'm walking with Ice Bitch –" I punched him. Hard. "– ow! Fine, with _Sasuke_."

I nodded. Better. Kiba narrowed his eyes at me and I did the same back to him, only with a hundred degrees more of pure hatred mixed in with it. Yeah, you look away.

"Kiba."

We all turned in unison to see Shino leaning against his locker a couple of metres away with his arms crossed, brows still creased. We have a very angry bug boy today, people.

"Hm?" Kiba didn't move. Bad idea.

Shino's brow wrinkled just a tad more as he beckoned him forwards, and Kiba warily took the steps needed to stand directly in front of his boyfriend. Soon to be former boyfriend, by the looks of things. No no, that was bad. That was very bad. A free Kiba was a Kiba that Naruto wouldn't feel guilty about liking. That, I would not stand for.

Naruto and I openly gawked as Shino said a few quiet words to Kiba, who scuffed his feet and looked down at the ground as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

I felt a light pressure on my arm and turned to face Naruto, who was glancing back and forth between me and the two quietly arguing close by. "I gotta go see Tsunade, so I'll meet you out the front in a bit. I shouldn't be too long. And eavesdropping is rude."

He narrowed his eyes warningly at me as I sighed. "I know, I know. Meet you out front."

He looked at me a little longer, and only left when I reassured him again that I wouldn't listen in. Like hell I wouldn't. He gave me one last sceptical look before hoisting his bag on his shoulder and waving to me without looking back.

I closed my locker quietly, noticing that there was no one else in the corridor now, and walked around the corner catching the last glimpse of blonde hair as Naruto dropped down the stairs. I stood there, leaning against the railing of the staircase, as Kiba's voice steadily got louder and louder and my stomach sunk lower and lower. It didn't sound good.

"What's that meant to mean?"

Some dull sounds that I assumed were Shino talking.

"No, explain, please."

Then something very odd happened. Shino raised his voice. It wasn't much, but that fact that I could hear it from around the corner and halfway down the stairs said a lot for his anger levels.

"You are not listening to me. I meant you hadn't changed in the way you jump to conclusions and assume everything is a personal attack. We hadn't been very close lately and I thought it had something to do with Naruto telling you he has feelings for you, that is all I said. Nothing against you, just that I wish you would tell me what is going on."

"I've already _told_ you – nothing's going on!"

"Then why haven't you spoken to me in almost a week?"

Old married couple, much? I glanced at my phone. Naruto should still be with Tsunade… Five more minutes.

"I have so!"

"And it's always about Naruto."

"Well he's my best friend!"

Shino's voice lowered again and I missed his reply. I wanted to creep up closer but decided against it. I was taking a big enough gamble as it was just listening.

"Aren't I allowed to spend time with my best friend?"

Another quiet response. I adjusted my backpack a little uncomfortably, feeling bad at listening in but unable to tear away. It was like some cheesy soap opera that you never admitted you watched, let alone liked, and secretly cried when the long-time couple broke up.

"What, you want the truth? The all-out truth?"

I reasoned with myself that it was important to know exactly where Kiba and Naruto stood and just how much more of a chance Naruto was going to have with Dog Boy. Even if it was getting serious and I could get caught any second. Shino would probably kill me. Was death worth it? Hell yes.

"I don't know what the fuck's happening, all right? I can't explain it and I haven't bothered trying. Naruto's just… Hell, Shino, I can _relate_ to him."

"And you haven't been able to relate to me while we've been together?"

"Not all the time, no! We're totally opposite and usually you have this wall up that blocks me out, with the occasional moment of weakness. I got a little tired of fighting to make you normal, and then Naruto came out with the old 'I like you' and you know the rest. Fuck, it hurts to say it, but I just can't do it anymore. I know… I know we've been together a long time and for the most part it's been great, but I'm tired of you being so closed, even to me."

"You got bored of me."

"You're exactly the same as when we got together. You haven't changed in the slightest, and I don't think you ever will. Naruto is… Naruto's my best friend -"

"Exactly."

"What?"

"He's your _best friend_, Kiba."

"And?"

"There's a difference between best friend and boyfriend –" Amen to that. "– and I think you are getting confused. No, let me speak. You and Naruto have always been close and I have always tolerated it, thinking you knew where the line was. Then when Naruto confessed his feelings I think you blurred it a little until you weren't sure what the difference was anymore."

"And I think you've got no idea what you're on about. I can't help it if I want, I dunno – a change, or whatever."

There was a long silence, and I was sure that Shino was staring blankly at the ground, unwilling to argue. I had a sudden girly urge to rush up and hug the life out of him, Sakura-style, but repressed it by pulling out my phone to check the time. One more minute, then I really had to go. Despite the addictiveness of the fight. Gah, I'm so pathetic.

A mumbled question.

"I dunno, Wednesday?"

I missed the reply, but I gathered the gist of what Shino had asked through Kiba's tone and his obvious response. Shino said something else, and I took a guess at what it was, the urge to go all Sakura on him becoming quite overwhelming.

"Well congratulations, we made it to a year, but I can't do it anymore."

And cue Sasuke's lightning-fast exit before Kiba catches him and rips him apart with his fangs.

I bolted down the stairs and through the double doors, racing to the gate where I'd meet Naruto. He wasn't there yet and I breathed a sigh of relief, leaning against a tree and scowling at the ground as I caught my breath. Then it hit me. Well and truly, smack bang between the eyes, unmistakable…

Kiba and Shino had broken up.

Broken up.

No longer together.

Separated.

_What_?

Can the world explode now? Please? At least then it might make some sense.

It spelled disaster for me, simple as that. I just had to hope that my one and only keep-Naruto-interested-and-show-him-me plan worked better than the fact that Kiba was his best friend and so already had the upper hand.

I was still scowling when Naruto slouched up to me, back hunched against the cold and coat pulled tight. Judging by the chill in the air, it was going to snow tonight. About time.

"What are you pissy about? Wait, did you – did you listen in? I told you –"

"No, dobe. I've been waiting here freezing my arse off for the last ten minutes while you talked with your Aunt who you're going to see at home anyway."

He shook his head and we started walking. "Nah, she's got some conference thingy with Shizune tonight, so she's making me cook because she knows no one else is gonna do it."

I raised my eyebrows and glanced at him. "You cook?"

He grinned and shook his head. "No way. The burn marks are still there from last time."

"Then…?"

"Shizune would've made something last night for us. What the old hag doesn't know won't hurt her."

Typical Naruto. "Okay, whatever. Spill."

He gave me a weird look and I wriggled on the inside. He's just so cute! On the outside I rolled my eyes at him and quirked my lips just a tad, wondering for the thousandth time how the hell he managed to do that to me just by having a spastic facial expression.

"Give me a fact and a reason, baka."

He gave me his realisation face and said, "Oh, right. Um… I know. Tall, dark, smart and handsome – Shizune always says that's what makes the perfect guy. I personally think there are way more factors that contribute to it, but whatever. There, a reason why I like you and Kiba both, though Kiba's not so dark, but you get it. He's not exactly smart, either…" He gave a faint smile. "Eh. Your turn."

I rejoiced a little on the inside. Technically that was four reasons, and Kiba didn't fit all of them so _take that_! I couldn't help shouting. In my mind, of course. I thought Naruto was dumb for not realising how I felt about him, but he was even thicker for missing Kiba's affections, and if I was to randomly exclaim 'owned, Kiba!' I might have a bit of explaining ahead of me, and then he'd think I was making it up just to get to him and he'd get all huffy with me and storm off. Then Kiba would comfort him and tell him he and Shino broke up, Naruto would comfort him right back and – mind back in the present, Sasuke.

"No no, you have to tell me a fact first."

"Why don't we take it in turns?"

"How bout we don't."

"How bout we do."

"Dobe…" I warned.

"Teme…" He warned straight back.

"Don't argue with me."

"Don't argue with _me_."

"I'll do what I like."

"So will I."

"Are we getting anywhere with this?" How old are we, five?

"No."

"So tell me."

"Fine!"

I smirked. Hah, Sasuke wins.

"Hm… You know how my house is two floors, right? Well the top floor is like this _huge_ open attic space that Snake Man sometimes uses for rehearsals if he's got a couple of plays going and he can't use the theatre or whatever, but Jiraiya teaches me how to fight up there. All kinds of crazy stuff – it's awesome."

That was certainly interesting. I 'hn'ed in surprise and he looked at me expectantly. Not just yet, I have some questions for you.

"What kind of fighting?"

He shrugged. "Any style – Jiraiya's really good."

"Any style, huh?"

"Yup, why?"

I shrugged and pushed my hands deeper into my pockets. "I might just have to verse you one day, Naruto."

He looked up at me sharply, eyebrows disappearing into his headband. "What? You fight?"

"I quit last year, but started when I was six so I know my stuff."

He grinned widely at me and stuck out his hand. I looked at it nervously before he rolled his eyes and said, "Shake it, teme. We'll fight each other sometime."

Ooh. I getcha. I shook it with a smirk. "Deal, dobe."

We both returned our hands to the warmth of our pockets, and I noticed we were already at the base of the hill. I started to turn right but he caught my arm just in time. I swore under my breath, but whether it was the fact that he was gripping my arm or that I now had to spill my guts to him, I couldn't tell.

"You honestly think you can get away that easily?"

Yes. "I was hoping."

"Pfft, that's so not fair. Your turn."

"Hn." Damn him. "I like you because… because you have this weird talent where you can change anyone into a better person, no matter how much of a shit they are to start off with."

"Meaning you."

Silence.

"Okay, good. Now I want a fact so I can go home and warm up by the fire. It's bloody freezing out here."

"It's called winter, dobe. Winter. And I already gave you a fact – the fighting thing."

"That doesn't count."

"Why not? I told you something about me."

He shook his head with a smile. "That's called conversation, teme. Conversation. Say it with me now; con – ver –"

I scowled. "Funny."

He laughed. "I thought so."

Still scowling menacingly, I turned around again and took a couple of steps forward before shouting over my shoulder, "I hate mornings!"

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Thursday was my art and Food Tech exam with Sakura, so I prepared myself for at least thirty minutes of boredom in each one, figuring that I'd finish early. I had an abundance of thoughts to amuse me, though, such as Naruto, what mood Itachi would be in today (he was still asleep when I left this morning), Naruto, on Naruto's bed, Naruto doing that thing he does when I kiss the junction between his neck and shoulder, who Sakura liked now, Naruto kissing my cheek on Tuesday, wondering if my plan was working, wondering if Kiba had told him about him and Shino, Naruto without a shirt, which inevitably led to Naruto without his pants, which then led to rather rude thoughts that weren't good to be thinking about in a classroom. Not that it stopped me. All in all, a very amusing Food Tech exam.

In the break between exams we all stayed inside, huddled together to stay warm despite the heating system on full strength. Minus Gaara, Shino and I, of course. Social? What's that?

I watched Shino and Kiba throughout the whole half hour break, and was more than pleased to see that Kiba looked thoroughly depressed and kept glancing at Shino every five seconds, who was furrowing his brows very intently at the opposite wall. And a bonus was that Kiba seemed reluctant to talk to Naruto while Shino was around, so I didn't have to try and intervene. Even though yes, that is getting slightly possessive, but whatever. Can't have Naruto fraternising with the enemy, as such. Well, my enemy.

As we all sat together grumbling about the cold and whingeing about exams, we were provided with rather loud entertainment as Naruto started a mock-fight with Rock Lee to keep warm, giving up on drawing conversation out of his friend. I could tell he'd been taught well. Hell, they both had. Lee was a nutcase. No wonder he kicked Gaara's arse way back when.

Shikamaru nudged me during this surprising display of talent (show offs) and nodded his head at Kiba, Shino and then Naruto, who had just tried a mock-roundhouse kick to Lee's face amid cheers from the group.

I shrugged at Shikamaru and said quietly, "Kiba and Shino broke up, Kiba likes Naruto but he's too afraid to talk to him and Naruto doesn't know what to think. Not that he ever does, but he's not helped along by the fact that I'm suddenly being nice and Kiba's suddenly stopped talking to him, mainly while Shino's around."

Shikamaru snorted as Naruto glanced over to us. He gave me a weird look and then a tiny smile, and it took all my effort not to return it, thankful for Lee's rather good timing as he interrupted the almost non-existent exchange with a tap to Naruto's stomach.

"Once you're nice you're going to have to stay nice."

I shrugged again, wincing a little on the inside. "I know."

Naruto ducked a punch and swept out at Lee's feet, but it wasn't anything spectacular. They were going slow after all, almost in slow motion, to make sure neither got too carried away and hurt the other. It was a smart choice, as teachers were patrolling the halls in the rainy weather. I certainly had no objections. Even through Naruto's thin jumper (the jacket had long since been removed), I could see all his muscles working to keep the slow controlled pace. The fact that I'd seen him topless and felt those muscles beneath my fingers as his hands did the same for me _really_ didn't help. I was probably making a downright fool of myself, openly gawking at him, but I honestly couldn't take my eyes away. I didn't have to look to know that Kiba was doing the same. Jeez, you'd have to be completely devoid of hormones not to watch and admire him.

"Wait… did you say Kiba and Shino broke up?" Or be Shikamaru, of course.

I nodded grimly. "Yep."

He looked properly stunned for a moment and seemed like he was about to say something, but Anko-sensei chose that moment to appear and stop the show, telling them she didn't care how careful they were, the bell had gone (since when?) and they better get to class before she showed them her own martial arts skills and gave them a _real_ fight.

Just as we all began moving to gather our things for whatever exam we had next, I felt someone grab my hand and turned around to see Naruto grinning at me. That sent my brain into overload, as you can imagine, and the usual sensation of only a few thoughts making sense at any one time came back tenfold.

Naruto. Hand. Holding. What? Jesus!

He gave me a sly smile and I felt him push something into the palm of my hand, closing my fingers around it. Leaning forwards, he whispered into my ear, "I know you're a smart-arse and you'll finish early. Hopefully this'll keep you entertained."

He gave me that same weird look before hurrying off and joining Kiba, flinging an arm around his shoulders as my stomach clenched horribly and I stood there trying not to look too bewildered and oddly out-of-sorts. Bloody hell, Sakura and Naruto were going out and she wasn't as much of a threat as Kiba was now. How screwed up was that?

Neji stared at me knowingly throughout the entire art exam, and I did my best not to squirm. Just because he'd basically told me to get off my arse and do something about Naruto, it didn't give him the right to act all know-it-all around me. I would like to know if he knew about Kiba, though… No, on second thoughts, I didn't need him raising his eyebrows and doing that scornful look that said 'honestly, the young have no brains' like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which it was, both about Naruto and the mess with Shino, but whatever.

Last question, come on. Um, the… the drawing is well composed because… Naruto is well composed. Very well composed. Totally in proportion. And that skin, and those muscles, and - _Sasuke_! Exam. Question. Answer.

Just as I put my pen down with a half-sigh I glanced over Neji's head to see that I still had thirty-five minutes to waste. Hopefully Naruto's note was _very_ long. I unfolded the paper slowly, making sure Neji couldn't see it despite his uncanny ability to see everything he wasn't meant to, and noticed that it wasn't especially long at all. Damn it.

_Yo teme, figured I probs wouldn't see you much today (I dunno what exams you got) so I wrote this one out to save us both the trouble of tracking each other down. I know you're gonna be elegantly pissed off at me in a very Uchiha way for giving you another reason about Kiba, but you said I could so I am. And I'm still working out why I like you. I also don't give a damn if you hate mornings (though the cat thing was interesting – hah, who would've guessed?), and I expect the next piece of info to be more interesting._

_I like Kiba because I know him, like really know him. We've been best friends since forever and I know I can trust him. Wow that sounds real corny. Oh well, here's another lovely little factoid for ya – I know nothing about my parents. Absolutely nothing. No one wants to talk about them and whenever I bring it up everyone goes all defensive. I also like long walks on the beach at sunset and romantic movies, holding hands and eating ice cream. I've always wanted a dog and a family to call my own. Male seeking male. I am 15¾ years old, sort-of tall, tanned, blonde, foxy and amazing in the bedroom. Contact me on haha, aren't I hilarious? You know it, teme. Having fun in your exam? Hope you at least finished before reading this. Then again, you always were an impatient __bugger__ person. Hah. Hilarity strikes again. Oh, and I can change an Ice Bitch into a normal human? I'm so awesome. –N_

I bit my lip as I read through it a second time, trying not to laugh at his last few comments. Ah, such an odd child. I knew I was smiling as I began my reply, despite the fact that I'd gotten another useless Kiba fact and that the beginnings of Neji's smirk were now well and truly past the finish line, but when Naruto was the cause I found I really didn't care who saw me grinning like a fool.

That was just a little disconcerting.

And then I realised he'd not-so-subtly invited me to contact him at some point by giving me his email address, which prompted my smile to get a little more daring. Neji nudged me under the table and I pointedly ignored him, hunching over the desk to write on a spare piece of paper from my school diary, shoving Naruto's note into my pencil case.

_Your humour astounds me, dobe. Where did you learn to be so witty? You'll have to teach me. I do hope you're getting the sarcasm here. And I don't get elegantly pissed off anymore, remember? I swear and yell and you love it so much that you kiss me. Or I blow up aliens, but I much prefer the first option, don't you? Thought so. Perhaps we can do that again when I get mad for the Dog Boy reason._

Neji nudged me again a little more forcefully. I kept ignoring him. I needed another fact for Naruto, but only after two I was stumped. I'd told him I have a cat and I hate mornings, while he'd told me he had no clue about his parents and his Uncle taught him to fight, which I assumed meant a lot to Naruto, not having a father and all. I had to give him something about me, not just to do with me. If that even made sense.

I chewed on the end of my pen thoughtfully and ignored another Neji-nudge.

_Here, several facts to make it up to you. Male seeking male since the first half of year 9, give me a forest over a beach any day, romantic movies make me want to throw up and chocolate owns ice cream. A dog would eat my Same, which I would certainly not appreciate even if he is a haughty (look it up) bastard, I've never tried holding hands, and I could definitely go for a sunset right now. I'd be several hours closer to sleeping. Hah, I'm older than you by at least 6 months, taller, better looking, and better in the bedroom. Don't argue with an Uchiha._

_Ah… A reason… You make a point of standing up for yourself, your friends, and what you think is right. Which is more than I can say for myself, but whatever. There you have it. You better not be failing whatever exam you're in now because you're thinking about me. I might get embarrassed._

I smirked down at the page and folded it up slowly, figuring it was an appropriate place to stop, and glanced up at the clock again (ignoring Neji, of course) to see that a grand total of ten minutes had passed.

Damnit!

I pushed the note into my pocket with an attempted scowl and finally looked at Neji. I glared at his somewhat amused questioning raise of the eyebrow, silently saying that no matter how grateful I was for the point in the right direction, I still wasn't going to tell him what was happening. Once that was done, I slammed my head down on the desk and waited in silence for time to pass at a snail's pace, as I had done so many times this week already. Honestly, why couldn't everyone be as smart as me? The world would be a much better place.

* * *

**(1)** I'm sorry! I was watching scrubs the other night and this line made me laugh so hard. So, kudos to Dr. Cox! 

Shyeah I know, it ends rather crappily and this last part all seems rather rushed and non-deltaily, but that's 'cos I had one hell of a time splitting up this chapter and the next one. Sorry for that. It hurt to write this chapter… -sob- Whyyy?! –dramatic music-

Update might not be for another ten days or so, as I have well and truly caught up to myself and have a 4 minute speech to write entirely in Japanese. No time, no time, argh, sorry! It may even be longer than that, but hang in there!

But anyway, do be so kind as to review, it would be much appreciated :)

WY


	17. It's All Rather Confusing, Really

First part is rushed rushed rushed, but oh well. I do believe it was rather late when I wrote it. Bleh, came out all right anyway. Sorta. Tell me.

Also, my policy on swearing has gone out the window entirely. I can't help it that the characters like to say it…

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

* * *

17. ITS ALL RATHER CONFUSING, REALLY

Last exam done.

Oh thank Christ.

Now I'd just have to wait anxiously for the reports on the first day back next term to tell my parents what a smarty pants I was and they'd be all proud of me and then I wouldn't have to see them for another two years until I finished school and went to kick some bodyguard agency arse.

Perfect

I heard a loud laugh just up ahead and smiled a little as I rounded the corner on my way out. Naruto was clutching his stomach, and I felt the urge to do the same as I saw Kiba looking at him with this… look. Just a look, nothing big, but it was one of _those_ looks, you know?

Naruto glanced up at me and waved. I barely lifted my palm in response as Kiba turned to me and crossed his arms. I lifted my nose in the air a little. I was _so_ much better than him, no matter what Naruto thought…Even though Naruto's opinion meant a truckload.

Gaara and Hinata walked past, arm in arm, and I nodded my farewell to them as they stepped outside. I weaved my way through the thinning crowd towards Naruto and his faithful puppy. Lee bounded past giving Tenten a piggy back, stuck his thumb up at me and winked, Tenten shouted out something about I don't even know what, and followed Gaara and Hinata outside.

The crowd parted for me, sensing I was a man on a mission and therefore not to be messed with, and I made it to the pair with little incident. I smirked with sick satisfaction as Kiba looked about ready to implode as I handed Naruto the reply note, saying under my breath, "Passed the time well enough." Hah.

He gave me a wide grin, my stomach clenched that way that I was yet to determine as comfortable or uncomfortable, and Kiba scowled.

"Thanks, teme. You coming in tomorrow for the subject-selection thingy?"

I nodded, leaning casually against the wall behind me. "Might as well."

He briefly flicked the note between his fingers before tucking it into his pocket. Kiba's eyes narrowed as he watched Naruto get a little embarrassed and saw the smirk I sent in his direction. "Guess I'll answer this then, then."

I gave him a tiny smile and started to walk away, but Kiba had spotted it, and that was when the shit hit the fan.

He did the standard clenched teeth and low growling, curling his fists to restrain from hitting me. He glanced over at his friend, who was returning my smile and ducking his head to the ground, and reached out to grab at my arm. I inwardly sighed and turned a full-blown death glare on him. In truth, I really couldn't be arsed arguing with him, but whatever, if it made him stay away from the dobe, then it had to be done. I took a little pleasure in the flicker of indecision in his eyes, mentally laughed at him for a while, then tuned in to what he was saying.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Uchiha?" His voice was low so as not to attract attention from the passers by.

"Answering Naruto's letter, dumbarse." I had no issues with attention.

He growled lower and his fingers dug into my arm. "You know what I mean."

Naruto glanced between us nervously and then around at the people who paused to watch, anticipating a fight, then were ushered away by their friends whispering urgently in their ear. I sighed and yanked my arm out of Kiba's grip.

"Uh, guys?" Naruto was wringing his hands. We both ignored him.

Kiba took a step forward, getting right in my face. Ew, dog breath. "What are you trying to do?"

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "I thought that would be obvious."

"Well I thought it'd be obvious that he doesn't _want_ you."

Naruto started bouncing a little, trying to get in between us to little effect. "Hey, guys, just –"

"He doesn't know what he wants, did you know that? I thought you were the faithful best friend who knew him so well."

Naruto started looking a little grumpy. "Hey!"

Kiba ignored him again. "And you're the arsehole who was a right prick to him for years."

Naruto put a hand on Kiba's chest to keep him away as he took another step closer. "Oi! Shut up!"

I jerked my chin up a little in defiance as Kiba growled, "No, Kit, we need to sort this out."

He glared at us both in turn. "Then tell me what the fuck you're talking about, damnit!"

Kiba opened his mouth but I beat him to it. "Inuzuka dumped Shino for you, dobe."

Ah, sweet silence. The last few stragglers paused and gaped, before hurriedly realising that this was a conversation they probably weren't welcome to overhear and scurrying away. And I do believe that was the only moment I can remember where Kiba and Naruto were voluntarily silent for longer than ten seconds while standing within ten metres of one another. A very rare thing indeed. Though it didn't last for long.

"You bastard -"

"What the _fuck_?"

"How could -?"

"Why didn't -?"

"That wasn't yours to –"

"Since_when_?"

"Typical stuck-up –"

"I can't believe you didn't -"

And various other interrupted sentences like that being shouted over the top of one another, making it impossible to hear them all at once. I closed my eyes, opening them only when they lapsed into an angry silence.

I raised an eyebrow at Kiba. "You hadn't told him?"

"I was going to, damn you!"

Naruto scoffed. "What, before or after I flipped out at you for cracking onto me when I thought you had a boyfriend?"

I smirked (so apparently the dobe _had_ noticed) as Kiba floundered. "I'm _sorry_, all right? I just -"

"Didn't want to say anything in case you regretted breaking up with Shino and went back to him."

He turned on me and growled low in his throat again, pushing Naruto's hand aside and launching himself at me. He pushed me against the wall, pinning me at my shoulders. Which was a little stupid, really. I could punch him quite easily if I could be bothered. But I couldn't, so he was safe. For now, at least. I couldn't guarantee his stupidity taking over again and doing something to make me _really_ angry, which was more than likely.

"That wasn't your fucking story to tell, okay? You don't _deserve_ him, damnit! And no, I don't regret breaking up with Shino, because staying with him would be stupid if I didn't like him anymore." He paused for a sec as I regarded him calmly from my badly pinned state. "How the fuck did you know, anyway?"

"It was pretty bloody obvious."

He started to speak but Naruto interrupted him this time. "Wait a sec." He waved his hands around looking totally shocked. "Does that mean that you _both_ like me?"

Kiba nodded grimly, I marvelled once again at the dobe's slowness, and Naruto groaned, smacking a hand to his forehead. "Great. Just my_fucking_ luck. Here I was thinking it'd all just… and then… Kiba, you _arse_!"

I snorted and Kiba pushed hard against me before letting go, crossing his arms as I rolled my neck to stretch it out. At least he hadn't used his nails on me again.

Dog Boy looked a little put out at that last comment. "You're not saying you actually like _him_, are you?"

Naruto copied him and folded his arms as well. I merely watched, my smirk growing. "Well duh, I told you I liked two guys didn't I?"

"Yeah, but you said it was just physical – and I thought it was Gaara!"

He winced. "No way, I don't want a relationship that might end in death."

I smiled a little at that, and Kiba flashed me a dark look as I said, "Well, for best friends you two sure keep a lot of secrets."

"Shut up, Uchiha," Naruto said, then turned back to Kiba as I gave him a highly affronted look. "It doesn't matter who I like anyway –" We both scoffed and I managed an "I think that's the whole point of this argument" before Naruto interrupted me again. "But you… you broke up with Shino? You broke up with _him_ for _me_? How fucking stupid can you get, Kiba?"

I raised my eyebrows. Well, I hadn't counted on that one. I agreed entirely, of course, but I thought Naruto would be ecstatic to know that his friend was now available for snogging. I just hoped he wouldn't forget that I was too.

Kiba looked just as shocked as me. "It got… complicated."

I had a feeling I wasn't really part of this conversation anymore… bugger it. I was so staying.

"Complicated how?"

"Complicated by _you_, baka. I started liking you and not him, so I dropped him before it dragged on too long."

Naruto did another facepalm before tilting his head back and glaring at the ceiling in exasperation. "You're so stupid! How – How could you do that? Honestly?"

Because he wants to get in your pants, der.

"Because I like you! I can't be with Shino if I don't like him."

Naruto looked positively livid. "You don't like me, you still like Shino and you know it! What the fuck did you have to go jumping to conclusions for?"

Maybe I should go…

"What the hell? How would you know how I feel?"

"Because I _know_ you."

"That doesn't mean you can tell me who I do and don't like and stay right where you are, Uchiha, I'm not done with you yet." Oh. "Why would you tell me you liked me if you didn't want anything to happen?"

"I_told_ you why – I have to. I can't just sit around and do… I dunno, do nothing! You know how I usually am with those things. I thought you would've realised that!"

"Obviously not!"

Time for some intervention. "As much fun as this is, are we going to get to the point or can I go and save my brother from his latest plot for world domination?"

They both turned to scowl at me. Well jeez. I held up my hands in surrender. "Whatever, just hurry up and make this worthwhile. So far all it's achieved is getting us pissed off at each other. Well, me pissed at Kiba, anyway."

I could've sworn I heard Naruto mumble "I'm not mad at _you_," but that might've been my brain telling me what I wanted to hear.

Kiba rounded on me. "Quit your whinging, Uchiha. All you've done is fuck everything up."

"And how exactly have I done that?"

"By telling him about me and Shino! And doing whatever the fuck it is you're doing to try and get him to like you." He scoffed at that and continued before I could reply. "'Sif it's gonna work anyway. You'll always be an arse."

I went to speak but was interrupted again. Let me talk, people! I scowled, despite Naruto's "I'll be the judge of that, thanks."

Kiba looked momentarily stunned then uncrossed his arms, shoving his hands into his pockets as he hunched his shoulders, doing his best to look indifferent but failing miserably. "Then what do you think should happen? What do _you_ want?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed dangerously and he scowled at his friend. I rolled my eyes. Honestly, how stupid could the Inuzuka be? "Believe it or not, Uchiha got it right the first time. _I don't know_, so don't pressure me." Duh. "God, does it even _matter_ that much?"

Kiba shook his head slowly at the floor, then said quietly. "Sorry, whatever. I shouldn't have blown up like that." He threw me a contemptuous look and started walking away. "I'll see you tomorrow then. Thanks a lot, Uchiha."

No worries, love, any time.

Naruto watched him go with a thoughtful expression, and then turned to me looking very stern. "I may not be mad at you –" Oh, so my ears were telling the truth. "- but that doesn't mean what you did wasn't shitty. He probably had his own reasons for not telling me, and you blurting it out like that really hasn't helped."

I couldn't agree with that one. "You had a right to know, and he was the one who started it anyway."

"So you only had my best interests at heart that whole time, did you? Somehow I seriously doubt that. You know, you being a selfish prick and all." His tone was light, but I could tell he meant it.

"Whatever, dobe. He made a stupid decision to break up with Shino and you and I both know that. Hopefully he'll realise what a dick he is and go back to him. I'm not as much of a selfish prick as you think I am."

He gave me a funny look that said 'well der' and turned to walk out of the doors towards the office, leaving me behind feeling very… blank. Waving a hand over his shoulder, he called out, "You do tend to screw things up, you know."

Oh, charming.

I trudged home in contemplative silence, Itachi was nowhere to be found when I announced my arrival so I took the opportunity to curse and swear and eat all the chocolate out of the cupboard to my heart's content. Let's not forget the alien brains, either. And so I button-bashed the night away, Itachi never came home, I didn't eat dinner due to my severe laziness that I must have gotten from Shikamaru, and went to bed late.

I think you can guess what I dreamt about.

I went through my morning routine automatically, not really paying attention to what I was doing, and was so amazingly out of it that it was only when I was just outside the school gates that I realised I hadn't done my hair. And so I employed the use of several rather colourful curse words. After that little tanty, I went up to the main hall where our elective classes were up for next year as the final call for whoever wanted to change. All the year tens crammed in like sardines, and Kiba and I pointedly ignored each other while trying to keep the other away from Naruto without looking like we were doing so. Gaara, Neji and Sakura were watching us with those looks that I hoped I'd never see on them ever again, and I sent up a prayer to that awful person screwing with my life that I'd gone through enough crap and dealt with my brother for long enough that I deserved to continue fighting for Naruto without their interference. Actually no, Sakura could interfere all she liked (no doubt that's why she spent so much time with him after they broke up), but Gaara and Neji could go rot in a very deep hole for all I cared.

Shino was with Hinata and Gaara, leaving Kiba and Naruto free to talk. Much to my annoyance, but I didn't want to seem too possessive and interfere. So I sat there, arms crossed, glaring at anyone who came my way except for Sakura, and did my utmost not to beat Kiba into the next millennium. It was bloody hard work, I shit you not.

Tsunade got up and complained, told us what we were supposed to do today, complained, said to hurry up and choose our extra-curricular clubs so she could go home, complained more, cracked a joke or two, got smacked lightly (or not so lightly) by Shizune, and gave us a list of said extra-curricular clubs. She then stormed out of the hall, but not before the microphone caught the end of her grumbled "God, I need a drink."

Good ol' Tsunade. Ever the trustworthy principal.

It took me a grand total of one second to decide what I was going to do, and immediately made my way over to the line to sign up for fencing. In a mixture of delight and depression, Naruto and Kiba joined in behind me, closely followed by Sakura, Gaara, Neji, Lee, Sai and Tenten, who was looking overjoyed at using swords and actually fighting and oh gosh, wasn't it exciting?

I vaguely began worrying for my safety.

They all began talking about the amazingness of it all, the mention of swords sent yet another Captain Kakashi image to my brain, I tried my hardest not to laugh, failed, Naruto asked me what I was going to burst a blood vessel over and threatened to tickle me if I didn't tell him. He got it out of me, I got embarrassed, and he cackled like a mad man. Lovely, really.

"You – hah – you know what?" He wheezed.

"You're going to suffocate on air?"

He snorted and took another deep breath, massaging his stomach a little. "Dude, that's not… that's not possible." Another deep breath while I resisted saying 'you have a knack for achieving the impossible'. "You… You surprise me. All the time. I ne-never would've pinned you as… as someone with an imagination." Cough, wheeze, lovely. "But – ack – then you come out with _that_, and there's a whole new side to you." He seemed to be a bit more with it now. At least he could breathe properly. "You're very interesting. Count that as a reason."

I did the standard 'hn' response that I used when I didn't know what to say. He usually had that effect on me when he said something worthy of listening to. I had to use it again almost straight away as I turned around and he whispered in my ear, "You look hotter with your hair out, too."

Maybe being spaced out in the mornings had its advantages.

Sai moved out of the way and I bent down to sign my name just as Kiba turned away from his previous conversation to talk to Naruto. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Naruto shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. I couldn't see where he was looking, but I could take a guess. I moved my weight onto my other leg and heard him clear his throat loudly.

"Yo, Kit, what are you doing tonight?"

Damn you, Inuzuka. I narrowed my eyes down at the sheet as I shifted my weight again and saw Naruto's hands fidgeting with the hem of his jumper.

"I – uh – Wh-? Yeah…" He got a big 'fail' in coherency for that one.

That snort was so hard to hold back.

"What? Dude, you're not making sense."

And another weight change. This was getting quite fun. I saw Naruto's body turn away from me entirely, thus eliminating the, uh… distraction.

"I'msorrywhat?"

Kiba sighed as I stood up. "Do you want to come to mine tonight? It's just me and the sister, so no it's-a-school-night issues from my side."

"I – yeah, sure. Just gotta battle with Shizune. Tsunade won't care."

Hmph.

Nothing of any importance happened until we were all about to leave – unless you count how I figured out when we got our timetables that the drama teacher was Orochimaru (okay, I didn't figure it out – it was on a list) and I had a little confused freak-out. Naruto explained that the Akatsuki group had one last show before it went under, so Tsunade was letting him teach until he started up again. I suddenly didn't want to go home. Itachi would be in a right state and it was probably why he didn't come home last night. Oh, joy of joys.

And so the gang, armed and prepared for another semester of fun fun fun, strode out into the blinding whiteness. Oh yes, snow, that might be why.

Sakura touched my arm and I looked across at her. "We're going to your café for food and heat, you guys coming?"

A few pairs of expectant eyes turned to me, but I shook my head, "Nah, got an insane brother waiting to do something drastic to me. Can't wait," and gave Naruto a 'look'. For once he understood it.

"I'll meet up with you later. Gotta talk to this bastard don't hit me!"

I chuckled lightly at his panicked tone but didn't hit him. It was close, though. Lee gave us a slightly disturbing wink and removed his arm from Tenten's shoulders to give us a double thumbs-up and cry, "Embrace your youth!"

Most people either raised their eyebrows or rolled their eyes at him, Tenten slapped him lightly on the back of the head, and Kiba tried his utmost not to say anything with Shino around and not look too grumpy at the same time.

You are very bad at that, Kiba. Emotion-control was not designed for you.

And so Naruto and I walked.

For a while we talked about nothing, didn't talk at all, then got to the point. He told me that Orochimaru, Temari, Tsunade, Sakura and Jiraiya when he tried to explain the facts of life were the only people that could scare him, and I told him I liked him for the same reason he gave me. He was surprising, to say the least. It kept me interested. And then I had to think of a fact. Which I couldn't. So I procrastinated.

"I used up most of my ideas in that letter."

He laughed suddenly and made me smile. Hmph. "Which I liked very much, by the way. Nice bundle of information, that was. I've put it all in the 'Teme' file up here." He tapped his temple to show where he meant.

"Huh, so _that's_ how your mind works – a filing system. You must have crap organisational skills."

He clapped his gloved hands. "Side-splitting hilarity, that was. Now stop avoiding the subject and factify me."

"That's not a word."

"Don't care."

I then breathed in deeply several times and took the plunge, stepping_way_ out of my comfort bubble to say, "Itachi, Gaara, Ibiki-sensei and Temari can scare me."

He gave me a lopsided smile and laughed shortly. "Gaara and Ibiki-sensei aren't scary."

I scowled. I refused to dignify that with a response, and so carried on like nothing was said. "And you as well, occasionally." I didn't tell him that was mainly intense nerves.

He looked a bit confused. "I'm very unscary, though."

"Again, not a word."

"Again, don't care."

"Hn."

"You're gonna have to elaborate."

I sighed, getting mighty uncomfortable. But I had to convince him of how much I liked him before Kiba did something stupid. Which was bound to happen very soon. Hell, he'd already broken up with Shino (which I was still getting my head around), and that was beyond stupid. It was downright insane.

There was nothing out of order in the way Kiba and Naruto were acting together today, really. I had nothing to be jealous about. Apart from the fact that it seemed Naruto was staying over tonight. Which was a_very bad thing_.

I just had to… I dunno, do something so he wouldn't stop thinking about me all night and then tomorrow he would come over before I went away and he'd kiss the life out of me and say that he didn't like Kiba at all and I'd tell my parents to shove their tickets and the company somewhere rude and I'd stay here for the holidays and we'd do stuff together and then Kiba would get back with Shino and he wouldn't be a threat anymore and everything would be wonderful and oh God, Sasuke, shut _up_!

Deep breaths now, inner monologue later.

"Your reactions, dobe. I never know how you're going to react. You make me nervous because I don't know if you're suddenly going to drop that I-love-everyone thing and get angry at me. I'll admit that you're a little scary when you're angry as hell."

He snorted. "It's very rare that you can do something _that_ shocking. Surprising, yes. Shocking, no. Except for the occasional 'Captain Kakashi' moment."

I pointedly ignored his giggle. "I could try."

"Go on then."

Well, it was his fault. He invited me to do it. Still, I was kicking myself_very_ hard for actually going with the first thought that popped into my head for once instead of, oh I don't know…_thinking_, maybe? Yeah, that might've been smart.

I put a hand on his shoulder and yanked him around to face me, leaning forward and pushing our lips together before I could back out. That was silly, Sasuke, the sensible side of my brain insisted. Very silly. Meanwhile the giddy teenager side was simply dancing for joy and swooning simultaneously. Not an easy feat.

It took Naruto a second to respond, but soon returned the pressure as a hand came up to rest on my upper arm. His lips were freezing and our noses bumped a little, but that didn't make it any less amazing. I made a subtle attempt at deepening it by tilting my head a little to the side, but he pulled back and raised his eyebrows at me. Ngh.

"Okay, you win."

I nodded, losing against the blush and hoping that Naruto would think it was just the cold. Hah, sure. Wishful thinking. I could've said something to end the slight awkwardness, but it would have achieved nothing except embarrassing me ten times more due to my voice's squeakiness. Not what I really wanted after I'd just randomly kissed the guy I happened to be quite fond of.

Oh gosh.

_I_ kissed _him_?

That was new.

Naruto seemed to like the pretend-nothing-happened approach anyway, and carried right on walking. But that blush wasn't hidden from me. "So why aren't you coming out with us?"

I furrowed my brows. "My brother, I told you."

He shook his head a little sadly and avoided a particularly large pile of slushy snow. "Can't use him as an excuse forever, you know."

Pfft. "I can and I will."

"You'll have to bow down to Being Social one day."

"No I won't." No, I really won't. It had tried to recruit me once before, but I firmly said no, I have people issues, and it mostly left me alone.

"Why aren't you really coming? It's not Kiba or anything, is it? 'Cause I talked to him and he –"

"I have to pack." I really didn't want to hear about Kiba, not now.

He gave me a confused look and I did an inward goofy smile. Adorable, really. "What? Why?"

I shrugged. "I'm going away for two weeks. Leaving on Sunday morning."

He stopped walking to stare at me. That was when I noticed we were already past the bottom of the hill and well on the way to my house. Huh, funny bout that. I chose not to point it out. "You're going away? Where?"

"New Zealand."

"_New Zealand_?! Why? Is your brother going?"

"I've got family friends over there and they invited me." Saying 'I'm visiting my parents' probably wouldn't have gone down too well. "And no, Itachi's not going. He thinks it's a school trip."

I hadn't stopped walking, so Naruto jogged to catch up with me and put a hand on my shoulder to stop me. I shrugged it off and kept walking. Great, now I was in a bad mood.

"Uh… Sasuke?"

"What?" I didn't look at him.

"…. Never mind."

I grunted, then he punched me. Hard. I whipped my head around to stare at him, my eyes narrowed. "What the hell was that for?" See what I mean about his reactions?

"A few reasons."

"Such as?"

"You're too moody, you didn't tell me you were leaving, you're cutting yourself off from us by not coming to your café, and now that you've kissed me I'm not going to be able to stop thinking about you at Kiba's. Great."

I raised an eyebrow as he turned on his heel to go back the way we came, stepping around the larger clumps of snow. Oh well, mission accomplished.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sakura was being very smug about this whole ordeal, I finally decided. Just because she was close enough to Naruto to be told everything going on in his mind, didn't mean she could go smirking at me like she knew absolutely everything. Which she did, but that's beside the point. And since when did things happen like _this_?

"Tell me."

"No."

"Do it."

"No!"

"Why?"

"It's not my place."

"But it involves me so I have a right to know."

"I don't care. I said I wouldn't tell." She beat another person off the platform and grinned at the television.

"Everyone knows you can't keep a secret."

"Hey!"

I snorted. "It's true."

She couldn't argue with that one. Hah. She glared at me and I smirked.

"Now tell."

Shikamaru decided now would be a good time to intervene. "Sasuke, she clearly isn't going to say anything, so shut up. You're pissing off Same."

I glared at the cat, who regarded me like I was the scum of the earth and returned to purring under Shikamaru's hand. I gave him the finger, wishing he could understand the meaning. Stupid stuck-up cat.

"Woo! Who's awesome? Sakura's awesome. Uh-huh, that's right."

I rolled my eyes as the words 'stage complete!' flashed on the screen and flopped back on the couch. Ten hours before I was on the plane and seven until I had to be out of the house. Ugh. A full day before I was into a new country and probably as far away from Naruto as I could possibly be, leaving him all to Kiba. That made me feel slightly ill.

I groaned and yawned, flinching as Sakura slapped my leg. "No, no, no," she scolded. "If you sleep now you won't sleep on the plane, and then you'll be bored shitless the whole way there. We're doing you a favour, love."

I shifted my legs out of her reach, not caring that I upset Same. He lorded over the house far too much, anyway. "I promise not to sleep now if you tell me what you've been talking to Naruto about since you broke up."

She rolled her eyes and flicked off the television, making the room considerably darker with the only light now coming from the hallway. She kicked her legs over the side of the armchair and regarded me with haughty eyes. Great, so first the cat stares me down and now Sakura? I'm an Uchiha, damnit – I stare _you_ down!

"All I'll say is that whatever you're doing is the right thing. Seriously, I can already tell that the both of you have changed. It's kinda weird if you think about it, though. Like, you're practically already going out but technically you're not. You haven't been on a date yet, have you?"

I shook my head. No way, that'd terrify him to no end. And I didn't think I was quite ready for that just yet – we still didn't really know each other, exactly. Man, this whole thing was so weird!

"Huh…" She sighed and tilted her head back to gaze at the roof, smiling to herself. "Oh, to be in love."

_What_? I sat up and stared wide-eyed at her. She didn't look my way, so I waved my hand to get her attention. "Since when was this about love? I never said that!"

Shikamaru snorted from beside me and I narrowed my eyes at him while Sakura rolled her own. I didn't have a chance to say anything further, as several things suddenly happened at once.

The doorbell rang, I went to answer it (considering Itachi _still_ wasn't home), tripped over the coat stand on the way, swore violently, Same came to see what was happening, I tried not to trip as he tangled himself around my feet, then opened the door and got an armful of a very confused Naruto as he rambled about something that was very difficult to make sense of. Oh golly.

"I'm so sorry to barge in like this but oh crap I was at Kiba's and it was all fine and he explained about Shino and I told him I still thought he was a dumbarse for doing it but we were having fun and nothing happened but then when I went to leave just then he asked where I was going and I said to say goodbye to you 'cause you were going away for the holidays and he got shitty and then ah Jesus he_kissed_ me and I couldn't help kissing him back but I couldn't stop thinking about you and I felt so bad and Shikamaru and Sakura are here oh that's embarrassing and shit I'm rambling."

He spoke with no punctuation. At all. Only Naruto could say all that and not pass out from severe lack of oxygen.

I raised an eyebrow, waited for my brain to catch up, and scowled when it did. I tightened my grip on his arms as he tried to pull away from the glomping he'd given me and shot Shikamaru and Sakura a warning look, telling them they better not say _anything_ unless they enjoyed the thought of hanging upside down by their ankles from the fan.

Naruto tilted his head up and I looked down at him, unable to stop from smiling just a little. Damn him and his I-can-make-_anyone_-smile attitude!

He was clearly embarrassed, and the glow from the hallway light made his whisker scars stand out more. He bit his lip and ducked his head down, and that was probably when something in my mind snapped and I said something that I'd beat myself up soundly for later, if Shikamaru and Sakura didn't make me die of embarrassment first.

"Uh, Naruto?" I used his name; that was a good start.

He glanced up at me again, face even darker, and gave me a questioning look.

"Do you want to go out sometime?"

Stupid, stupid, stupid! You said you wouldn't pressure him, you shit! Now look what you've gone and done – bloody well asked him out! Genius, you are, pure genius. No, really. Well done on making everyone in the room ridiculously uncomfortable and oh crap. I hate you.

"I – uh – ju – ca – um?"

I nodded slowly, one eyebrow raised in clear misunderstanding, and he laughed at me. Then I realised the misunderstanding, and stuttered (yes, _stuttered_), "No, I mean, you know, like when I get back. Just as, as friends, or whatever. Not like _going out_ or anything, just to - well, unless you –"

He put a hand on my chest and pushed away a little to look me in the eye with that adorable I'm-finding-this-hilarious-but-trying-not-to-show-it smile.

"I… well, maybe. Yeah, um, I'll think on it…"

I nodded stupidly. Oh God, what had I gotten myself into?

He smiled sheepishly. "Ha-have a good trip then. See you when you get back, I guess… um… yeah. Bye, teme." And then he bolted out the door.

I turned back to Shikamaru and Sakura, who both had their mouths open and eyebrows raised in surprise.

I wasn't much better.

Oops.

* * *

Oops indeed. I had no idea that was going to happen. Man, this story is taking _forever_! Aeigh. 

Okay, I'm thinking of ending this in a few chapters and doing a sequal when they're together and if you think that's a spoiler then I'm shaking my head at you in disappointment. Whole point of the story, much? So, tell me what you think. It won't be as long as this one, but it'll be more oh-gosh-look-at-the-drama centric as opposed to Sasuke being an angsty bitch.

And keep giving me Itachi ideas!! I got afew, but I'm being naggy and wanting more. Yay! XD

That purple button over there looks inviting, doesn't it? Yes indeed it does, my friends.

WY


	18. Happy Family? Hilarious

Just refreshing everyone's memories, _I don't do lemons_. A few people have been asking me about them and I just want to remind you all that it won't be happening. I attempted it and failed miserably – I'm just not comfortable with it yet. Reading it is fine, just not writing it. So if they start a heated bout of snogging and oh golly, look where those hands are going, don't expect it to turn into a hot sweaty romp in the bedroom, folks. Sorry, but it's not going anywhere. Perhaps I'll get a tad more adventurous, but so far, no. Blah.

I'm gonna try and keep his stay in New Zealand as short as possible so we can get back to the Narutoness, so bear with me. Thankyou _so_ much to Wilfred Humbug for all her wonderful information on New Zealand! (and will come into play much more later) So helpful! XD –bows–

**Note: **'Haha' is another, more familiar word for 'Mother' or 'Okā-san'. Think of it as 'Mum'.

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

* * *

18. HAPPY FAMILY? HILARIOUS

There was an insistent knock at my bedroom door and I opened an eye blearily, mentally cursing the intruder to have a thousand Ino clones follow them around all day telling them how much they loved them as I said, "C'm in."

I half rolled over and buried my face into the pillow as the door slowly opened. I was going to have a few (probably very rude) words to Itachi about waking me up in the middle of the damn night just to tell me yet again that he either killed our parents, was totally in love with Kisame, had a nightmare, realised that it was the time Satan had been telling him about and he must leave at once, or that the cat had pissed in his bed again. I _really_ didn't care about any of it. Waking up in the morning when I was supposed to was bad enough, but getting forcibly yanked from sleep at what felt like two in the morning was just plain cruel.

There was a weight at the end of my bed and I waited for Itachi to tell me how sorry he was, but nobody said no to the devil. Right now, Itachi _was_ the devil. A light hand trailed a path up my leg through the doona, and I almost jumped out of my skin with a yelp. That certainly woke me up.

"Incest is wrong, Itachi. _Wrong_. So get your – shit! What are _you_ doing here?"

There was someone in my room all right, but it sure as hell wasn't Itachi. Well, unless of course he'd shrunk several inches, dyed his hair blonde, put blue contacts in, got a tan and gained several whisker scars. But as far as I remembered from the night before, he hadn't, which confirmed the person on my bed with their hand dangerously close to my arse to be Naruto.

I refused to think of the obvious questions such as what he was doing here so late (or early – whichever way you looked at it) why he was here, or how he even got here. Things like that usually seem pretty irrelevant when there is a sex god sitting on your bed and oh crap he's scooting towards me, hand getting closer and closer and yep, it hit its target.

"N-Naruto?" I made a mental note to yell at myself for letting my voice stutter and squeak, but right now it didn't seem to matter as much.

He gave me a half smile and leant forwards, ever so slowly. Now wait just a – or not. His lips touched mine and I sighed, returning the pressure. Both his hands trailed up my body until they were on my waist. Well, on the doona, but you get it. A good few seconds later was when my brain suddenly kicked into gear, slammed on the brakes and screeched 'what the hell is going on!' Good question.

I put a hand on his chest and pushed him away, sitting up straight. I glared at him as best I could in my flushed state and demanded, "Hold up a sec. What do you think you're doing? Does this mean…?"

His smile faltered and he folded his hands in his lap, looking down at my floor. I put a reassuring arm on his shoulder and leant forwards a little, comforting him.

"Can… Can we not ask questions? Just for now?"

I raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged.

"I can't answer them yet. All I know is that you're going away for two weeks and I didn't think beyond that. I need this and so do you, so shut up and let me kiss you."

No arguments there.

I smirked as Naruto pulled me closer and kissed me again, harder this time. I opened my mouth without him asking and let him take control, sensing that he needed it. Things escalated fast, and before I knew it I was straddling him, doona completely forgotten despite the freezing night air. We had each other to keep warm, and I was kissing him like my life depended on it. Curse winter and the need for layers! I bit my lip and stopped breathing momentarily as he pulled away and stared me in the eyes, his freezing fingertips finding their way under my pyjama top and ghosting along my waist. 

I growled a little at him and kissed him forcefully, this time my hands the ones doing the wandering. I tried to find a spot along his sides, his ribs, his stomach, somewhere that made him ticklish or made his breath catch, but to my annoyance found none. I felt his tongue touch mine, pushing me back, and couldn't help moaning just a little. I soon removed him of his jumper, the first layer, only to find him wearing two t-shirts.

"Why the hell are you wearing so much?"

He shrugged and kissed me again, mumbling against my lips, "You'll just have to help me with it, won't you?"

I grinned and did exactly that, removing the next two layers with speed. I was a little embarrassed at my enthusiasm, but he didn't seem to mind as he crushed our lips together again the second he was free of his clothing. He tried to dominate like before, but I'd had enough of sitting back and letting him have control – it just wasn't me. I nipped at his lip as a warning that his time was up, and explored his mouth with my tongue for the first time in what felt like decades. I grinned and pushed my hips downwards, wrenching a moan from him.

Very soon we were both shirtless and gasping at the sensation as he pushed me onto my back. He rained kisses all over my chest, and couldn't think of a single complaint at being the submissive one yet again. His hands were everywhere, and I mean _everywhere_. I settled for tangling mine in his hair as his lips made their way further and further down. He paused above my growing problem – which, might I add, my pyjama pants were doing _nothing_ to hide. He didn't even ask before undoing my pants and ever so slowly dragging them down, teasing me for as long as possible.

"Uh, Sasuke?"

I groaned as his hands stilled. "What?" I snapped.

"There's an old man and a three year old girl staring at you." (1)

I pushed myself up onto my elbows to look down at him, totally bewildered. "What?" What the hell was _that_ meant to mean?

He frowned at me. "Are you okay?"

"Are _you_?"

His frown deepened and he reached up to tap me on the shoulder. "Excuse me?"

What the _hell_? I heard him say my name again, and then everything started going weird and there were bright lights and there was a girl on my bed and Sakura was telling me to stop being an arse and I was moving too fast for him, then this blonde girl I'd never seen before was looking over me and Itachi told me every element on the periodic table as Naruto came back and kissed me again and I was freezing cold and oh piss _off_, Same!

"Sumimasen, Uchiha-san."

I cringed. That was awful. Yes, I'm Japanese; no, that doesn't mean you can attempt to speak my language to me. Then I thought for a moment. And I realised. _Argh_!

I jolted completely awake and blinked rapidly up at the woman who spoke the appalling attempt at Japanese. I didn't have to look to know that I was in a very embarrassing situation. Oh, crap. Thank God for in-flight blankets – currently my lifesaver. Let's just say that my hands had… wandered. Just a little.

I pulled the blanket tighter around me, shifting so I was curled up, and gave the girl a look that promised a very painful death if she continued to stand there gawking at me. Clearly she had a death wish.

She bowed low as I narrowed my eyes further, clenching my jaw. "Gomen nasai, Uchiha-san, but you were… well, you sounded – upset, so Yamade-san said to help you. Are you okay?"

Her speech was stilted and she gave me a look that was clearly checking to see if I'd understood it. I toyed with the idea of ignoring her and letting her think I had no idea what she was saying, but she looked like the sort of person to stress about it until she was perfectly sure I was okay. Ugh.

"I can understand you, Miss."

She went beet-red and stammered an apology (again, in Japanese), bowing away as I turned to glare out of the window and squinted in the sunlight. I nodded absently as the air hostess babbled about something (I didn't want to admit that she was talking a little too fast), and tried not to think about how the sky reminded me of Naruto's eyes. I failed, of course.

After assuring her that I was fine, naturally pale, and just coping with the altitude, she finally left and went to harass the old man that had apparently been staring at me. I glanced past him and saw that there was indeed a very curious-looking three year-old girl watching me with enormous dinner-plate eyes. I scowled at her and she ducked her head into her sleeping mother's arm. Uchiha Sasuke does not go soft-hearted for a little girl. No, sir.

I sighed and curled up a little tighter, cursing the extreme aeroplane air-conditioning system, and watched… well, nothing, really.

It turned out I didn't need to give myself a serious beating for asking Naruto out. Yes, I asked Naruto out. Oh my God, I asked him out. Oh shit. Shit shit Jesus God damn. I might even go so far as to say 'oh, _fuck_.' Which is a big deal. I squeezed my eyes shut and firmly told myself that I'd already had my panic attack, there was no need for another one, and that I'd well and truly used up my panic-quota for the week. I hadn't _really_ asked him out anyway, just asked him to… um… I don't know, but I hadn't asked him out properly. I think. Oh shit. I had.

I breathed deeply and opened my eyes again.

Sakura had given me a stern talking to, that was for sure. She'd done the whole chameleon-mood-swings thing that only girls and my brother can do, with the 'way to jump into it' and 'oh my God I'm so happy for you' and 'don't do anything stupid while you're away' and we can't forget the 'if you hurt him I will personally see to it that you can't walk for a month'. I didn't doubt that one for a second.

Shikamaru had rolled his eyes, shrugged, yawned, basically told me I was a dick head but at least it was progress, albeit a little fast, and gone straight back to petting Same. Who gave me a very smug look.

Itachi came home mid-conversation while Sakura was going all motherly, and had yelled at me for having people around without him knowing, using the television (he was _still_ going on about all that stuff, surprisingly), not consulting him with my relationship issues, and then almost broken my ribs as he hugged me and did the 'good luck' and 'I'm so proud of you!'s. Not to mention the run-through of 'holy crap you're leaving _tomorrow_?' and 'why didn't you _tell_ me?'. _Then_ he'd gone all agro over 'APAC' (as he so fondly called it) going under, and not knowing what he was going to do now but not to worry because Kisame and Deidara were going to help him, and oh goodness Sasori was going suicidal over the ordeal, he (Itachi) and Kisame hadn't had a decent shag in _four days_ and what did we eat for dinner?

God, insane people were hard to deal with.

I glanced at my watch. Another hour. Or something. What was with these time differences, anyway? I didn't dare go back to sleep again – the blanket might slip and damnit I was wearing my properly-fitted nice jeans to make a good impression on my parents and say 'see? I can so live with Itachi and stay alive'.

Looks like I'd be awake for the rest of the trip. Great.

If only that old guy would stop looking at me…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stepped off the plane and frowned. My first impressions were… indifferent. Everything about it was indifferent. The weather was windy, but the wind wasn't cold and neither was the air. But it wasn't warm, either. It was the sort of temperature where you stand in front of your wardrobe for ages thinking 'jacket on, jacket off, jacket on, jacket off…' and so on until you give up and wear the jacket but end up taking it off eventually because its too hot with it on, then feel it's too cold without it.

My frown deepened. I didn't particularly like indecisive weather.

I continued frowning throughout the whole we-don't-trust-you-now-show-us-everything-you're-hiding process and walked through the gate, spotting the ever-recognisable disgusted expression of my father and the meek yet proud stance of my mother. He looked like he'd just waded in shit and found it utterly disgusting, she looked old, and who was that kid?

"Sasuke, _darling_! How was your trip? Nothing bad happened? Can I get you anything? Here, let Shisui take your bags for you, that's a good boy. Oh, you look lovely. You're such a handsome boy! It's been too long, darling, far too long. I've missed you_so much_! Letters and photographs just aren't the same thing, you know. Fugaku, give your son a hug – you haven't seen him since he was a little boy. That's it. Oh, you look so nice together! Sasuke, you're the spitting image of your father when he was your age!"

No I'm not. Father was much uglier that me.

I nodded and cringed along with everything she said, acknowledging the boy who had been basically ordered to take my bags as Shisui, Itachi's very best friend and our cousin before he was 'murdered'. My brother had a very sick personality change, as you can see. He rolled his eyes at me as I gave him an 'is she always like this?' look, and nodded, mouth set in a grim line. We began walking out of the waiting lounge and I waited for the inevitable…

"How's school, son? I hear you had your mid-year exams last week."

And there it is. Basically the sole reason for me being here. Get my arse kicked back into line, get told whether I was good enough to take over the business, and if I was (which I am), I would be 'trained up', so to speak. A bundle of fun, in other words. 

"School is excellent, Otōsan, we get our results in our reports first day of next term. I'll be sure to let you know."

He nodded stiffly. "Good."

I could feel the ice radiating off him. But there should've been something else… Mother turned to me. Here we go.

"So, Sasuke darling, when are we going to meet the new girl?"

And there was the second one. Education was the most important to my father, getting a girlfriend and 'beating the phase' was most important to my mother. Honestly, what kind of parents acted like this after they hadn't seen their son in four and a half years? It was almost disturbing at how indifferent my father was and how fake my mother was. I vaguely wondered if they would care about my mental or physical health if I was to somehow get hacked to pieces one day under their care. There was a slim chance Mother would, but not father. I'd be bleeding to death on the ground and he would say "If you paid attention in class then none of this would've happened" and then I would choke and die and they'd finally realise they should've been more caring and they'd be distraught and I seem to be going off on a lot of tangents lately.

I sighed. "Okā-san, I don't like girls."

She waved her hand and looked around, ducking her head a little. "Shush, darling, you have to think positive."

I groaned and saw Shisui to my right trying his utmost not to laugh. It was a very close thing. I sighed again and shuffled along behind my parents – Father standing tall and proud, our family's fan symbol displayed for the world to see on the back of his black shirt (short story even shorter, we're an ancient Japanese family and that was our crest), and my mother walking next to him, small but proud in her own way.

It was going to be a _very_ long two weeks.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I heard my message tone from the other side of the room on my bedside table. I glared at it for a moment, wishing I could use the Force to summon it to me. No such luck. I scooted over to it and opened up the message.

**I already know, Sasuke, don't think you're the only genius here. We'll both have what we want by the time school starts again.**

I smirked to myself and threw my phone on my bed with an excited little twitch of the eyebrow. This was such a twisted love-square, and now, thanks to mine and Shino's plan, someone else was going to be brought into it to make it even messier. Lovely. I just had to have faith in Kiba's stupidity, otherwise he might realise Shino was just doing it to make him jealous.

… I definitely had faith.

I moved back to the computer and tapped my fingers lightly on the keyboard, thinking hard and pointedly ignoring Mum's pathetic whines of "Sasuke, honey? What are you doing?" from down the stairs. I so did _not_ want to talk to her. She must have selective hearing or something, because no matter how many times I specifically said to her "I am gay. I like boys. Not girls. Nothing you say will change that," she _still_ insisted on introducing me to every single lovely little girl she just happened to know the parent's friend's cousin's dog's neighbour's rabbit's great-aunt's owner's grandmother's nephew's wife's sister of. Any connection she had to a rich young girl, no matter how obscure, she forced me to meet them, be nice, have tea, go for a walk, sit on the porch, and discuss the ins and outs of each other's lives with them.

I was _this_ close to ripping my hair out. But I could never do that. Mum's maybe, but not mine.

**To:** Uzumaki Naruto thatsmyramenbitch hotmail . com

**From:** Uchiha Sasuke yesiknow gmail . com

**Subject:** facepalm

_Hey dobe, how's life? Yes, I'm genuinely interested. Coping without me, I hope. I'm struggling – I have no one to pick on. I think I'm having withdrawals…_

On the first day of this torturous holiday, I went shopping to buy 'suitable dining attire' after Mother had so rudely frowned upon the ones I had brought, made a point of checking out as many guys as possible and very obviously so as to make her uncomfortable, it worked, she tried to ignore it, and then on the second night I had to sit through an excruciating two hours of dinner with a girl I'd never met but was apparently going to get along with quite well.

I didn't. She was a snob. And had a bad haircut.

What to write, what to write? I couldn't mention Kiba straight away, but I didn't want to seem like I was completely ignoring the issue. I didn't want to mention my little slip-up of the good old 'will you go out with me?' because then it would seem like I was pressuring him. And I didn't want to jump straight into 'oh life sucks' because then I'd be a whingeing bitch.

I sighed. But I am a whingeing bitch, so it's to be expected.

_I'm having the time of my life here in God knows where, and I seriously hope you're getting the sarcasm in that. I'm living with my cousin, Shisui, and Tayuya comes round a lot. Nothing much to do though – you're not here. That came out much ruder and cornier than I was aiming for._

I contemplated backspacing all of that for a moment (lies lies lies!) and restrained myself from hitting my head on the keyboard. In fact, I hadn't seen Tayuya at all. She was in Japan, as far as I knew. Just an old friend of Itachi's who I befriended along the way as well. But it was a lie I could probably hold up even when I went back home.

A part of me wanted to tell him why I was really here, but it was shut up rather forcefully by the sensible side to my brain that stated it was a _very_ bad idea. I couldn't help but reason it out and agree. The sensible side didn't win out that much when Naruto was involved. Huh.

_I've met countless girls because Mum_

Oops, delete that word like it's a fatally contagious disease.

_Tayuya keeps introducing me to them. For some reason she doesn't understand me when I say "I like boys." Strange. Although one of them did have a very nice looking twin brother…_

The third night here was just as lovely as the second, but this time it was spent with one Yamashita Eriko and her delightful family. Her father spent the entire evening glaring at me, her mother lifted her nose at my sour expression, Eriko drooled all over me, and I tried not to kill myself while eyeing off the afore mentioned twin brother.

Her dress was far too short, her hair was dyed blonde, and she had a mole on her cheek

_I didn't email earlier because I was having too much fun being dragged around shopping centres or into strange women's houses. So how's things at home? Have Sakura and Ino had their party yet? I guess I should get to the point – I have another meeting with a female to get to. A fact is that I liked Sakura (don't die from shock) before I realised I was gay and that she was a creepy stalker. Wow, she has shit luck with guys. And I like you because _–

I heard Dad call out my name but ignored it. I still had ten minutes before I had to repeat the delightful process of my parents trying to convince themselves their son wasn't gay. Hah. "Sasuke, are you ready?" He called again. "They'll be here in five minutes."

I scowled. "Hai, Tōsan."

I heard feet on the stairs and scowled even deeper. Father only wanted to make a good impression so that I could marry some rich-bitch and scab all the money off her. A 'beneficial match', he said. Downright bloody torture was all I made of it.

– _you have a fake smile and I want to know why. You've always got this 'happy guy' act going but it's so fake. No one else has noticed except maybe Kiba, and he's probably the only one who knows why. But do I really have to keep giving you reasons? I asked you out, dobe. I _asked you out_. That's kind of a big deal – for both of us._

Admitting it is the first step to recovery… Somehow this wasn't going the way I'd hoped

I sighed at the footsteps coming to a stop just outside my door. "I'll be there in a minute. Don't come in."

I swear Shisui was the only one keeping me remotely close to sane.

On the fourth night, I had a charming young lady by the name of Honda Shin. My initial thought was that her name sounded stupid, then I met her and I realised that she was also stupid. A whole lot of fun, that was. I can't even remember the name of the girl last night. Total airhead though. Couldn't shut her mouth when she saw me. I mean I know I'm attractive, but jeez – uncomfortable, much?

_But how about we forget I said anything, keep playing this game of fair trade, and see what happens when I get back? Whatever, you call the shots. Whoa, I'm letting you make decisions that involve my own welfare? ...I don't know how I feel about that._

_Catch,_

_Sasuke._

I jumped up from the chair, a little disconcerted at the fact that that email had _definitely_ not turned out how I had planned, and grabbed the dark blue button-up shirt from my bed. I yanked it over my head, far too lazy and too short on time to fiddle with the tiny buttons, and pulled it tight just as Mother came bursting into my room, Father standing in the doorway behind her with his arms folded and looking sour. Neither had ever heard of knocking, of course. I caught a glimpse of what Father was wearing as she glided into my room – oh God, she had dressed us the same?

"Kā-san!" I exclaimed, doing my best to look elegantly peeved and keep the thank-God-I-had-my-pants-on look to the confines of my mind.

She looked at me a little grumpily. "Don't be so formal, darling. You know 'Kā-san' makes me feel old."

That's because you are. I bowed my head. "Gomen, Haha." Ugh, so babyish. Sorry to break it to you, Mum, but I'm sixteen now – not six.

She beamed at me and ruffled my hair, which took a good hour to do and was the reason I was getting dressed as fast as humanly possible. It had nothing to do with the fact that I sat staring at the computer screen for a good forty-five minutes before actually starting Naruto's email. Nuh-uh…

"See? Much better. Now, come downstairs and be ready to meet our guests."

Father stepped forwards, grim as always. "I trust you've been working on your English." No question in that line, no sir.

I nodded. "Of course." Shit.

He nodded his approval and strode back down the stairs. I tried not to breathe a sigh of relief. Mother beamed even more, pride shining out her eyes. "Now, her mother is from New Zealand and her father is from Japan so she speaks both but mostly English. Which you'll have no trouble with, will you?" That was her you-better-not-or-else tone.

I shook my head. "I'll be fine, Haha."

She continued her incessant beaming and swept me up in a clothes-wrinkling hug. I tried not to scrunch my nose too much. "You're such a handsome young man! You've grown so much!"

Fifth time today. I still had about three more to go through before I went to bed. That was an exciting prospect. Not.

She seemed like she was going to start gushing about something stupid I'd done when I was little that she thought was just '_so_ adorable' and was bound to be highly embarrassing, but was saved by the doorbell. I gave a tiny breath of relief as she hurriedly untangled herself from me and mumbled an apology, straightening my shirt and shooing me down the stairs. I was more concerned about my hair than my clothes, to be honest. What had she _done_ to it?

Father was standing by the huge front door, and, as I'd suspected, looking identical to me except with the Uchiha fan printed on his back. He was the head of the family; he had the right to display it whereas I didn't. Don't think I ever will, either, unless I take over Sharingan Protection.

Mother nodded to him to say we were ready, and he opened the door slowly to reveal…

Well, she wasn't too bad, as far as girls go.

Long dead-straight black brown hair, the dark brown eyes (they were_enormous_), a short cream dress that fitted her perfectly and set off the pale colour of her skin, a long beaded black necklace with matching earrings, and – yes, I'd say she was all right. Sai would have been drooling, let's put it that way.

Her father looked like a racoon could trip him over, and her mother definitely wore the pants. No question about that.

We all bowed together and the girl gave me a sly smile that either said 'I will eat you later' or 'your hair looks awful' and I tried not to feel ill.

"Welcome to our home, Mokuda-san, Jacqueline-san, Teri-chan." Father began the introductions. Teri-_chan_ was still looking at me like that. Maybe it was an I-know-something-you-don't look.

"Thank you for having us."

"May I introduce my wife, Mikoto and my son, Sasuke?"

Right, my name – that was my cue to bow once again and smile and show them all what a proper young gentleman I was and I really wish Naruto was here. He'd laugh and shake their hands and shrug off all the tension. He was good at that.

Mother bowed with me and we both nodded and smiled. I fought yawn number one.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mikoto-san, Sasuke-kun."

It was putting up quite a fight. I chose to ignore the suffix.

"Please, come in." Mother was all smiles tonight.

Yeah that's right, yawn. I win.

The parents started the standard small-talk and my ever-subtle father gave me a hard look then flicked his eyes over to Teri meaningfully. I pretended not to have seen and went on following them all into the sitting room. My parent's house was far too big for two people. He glared at me and I realised that ignoring him was a very bad idea, and inwardly had a hissy fit as I subtly began shifting closer to Teri. I refused to use 'chan'.

One of her eyes was smaller than the other. She had a pimple on the right side of her forehead which she had tried to hide with her hair and copious amounts of makeup. She had a very slight tan line that the thin straps of her dress didn't quite match. Her jaw was slightly lopsided.

I pressed my lips into a thin line as she twirled her hair at me.

I didn't like her.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One week to go, one week to go.

I pushed the heels of my palms into my eyes, getting a twisted and slightly sick satisfaction at the squelching sound it made. That was so… Naruto.

It was Sunday morning and I was leaving on Saturday morning, so I really only had six more days of 'oh now isn't she _beautiful_?' from Mum and 'I expect this, this and this' from Dad.

Turns out that my prediction about Teri was right – I didn't like her. But every time she tried to make a move on me (and this was my tactic with every girl so far) I just did a run-through of the previous night's dream and spaced out enough so that it looked like I was listening and nodded at the right moments, but was actually paying no attention whatsoever. Intense Naruto dreams can do that to me, you see.

I slid onto my chair and flicked the computer screen on, running a hand through my hair and typing in my password. Six days and I'd be able to see Naruto again. Six days and I might have an answer. Six days and he might be dating Kiba. My eyes narrowed. If that was the case, Itachi wouldn't be the only crazy violent one in our house. He might have to stay away from me for a change.

It was strange, I was actually missing Itachi. He was entertaining, at the very least, and quite a good conversationalist when he was in the right mindset. Most of the time he was overbearing and more difficult than Naruto on a sugar-high, but he had his occasional moment of brotherliness.

The internet finally kicked into gear and I clicked open my emails, trying not to grin too stupidly when I saw the reply email from Naruto. Speaking of sugar-highs…

**To:** Uchiha Sasuke yesiknow gmail . com

**From: **Uzumaki Naruto thatsmyramenbitch hotmail . com

**Subject:** YAAAAAAAAYYY!

_Aha! It's you! You in the land of New Zea. Hah. Get it? New Zea-Land? Yeah, badum-chh. Having fun at the arse end of the universe? Bah, didn't think so. I'm not there – how could you possibly be having fun?_

_And yes I know you know, but do you really know?_

_I may have had too much sugar… Nevar! Sugar yay! Be prepared for a long and pointless email, teme my friend, for tonight I cannot think straight. Especially when Kiba does that thing with oh apparently I'm not allowed to write that. He smacked me on the head. Now he's glaring at me. Kiba, I'd appreciate it if you didn't. Thank you. Oh he's gone now._

My jaw clenched but I forced myself to read on. I had to keep reminding myself that both Naruto and Kiba weren't tied down anymore and could do whatever they wanted, but I was strongly reminded of when I walked in on Sakura and Naruto together at school. The murderous thoughts just wouldn't back down. But no, a dead Kiba would mean a very sad Shino and Naruto, neither of which I was cut out to handle.

_Now to respond to you, Ice Bitch Man Prince Teme And-A-Half, I can't believe you liked Sakura! Whoa! Apparently we have the same taste in girls, hah. It still works even though we're both gay, because we _don't_ like them. Eh heh heh. Yay!_

_Did you know, Sasuke-man, that I am a very confused child? You bloody well asked me out. Do you remember that? A bit of a shock, to say the least. And you know what happened after that? I went home, found Kiba waiting for me to apologise, inappropriate things led to other inappropriate things, and God _damn_ why can't I get you out of my head? You're a pain in the arse. That came out wrong._

Killing Kiba is a bad thing, killing Kiba is a bad thing, killing Kiba is a bad thing.

_I still like Kiba, I most certainly do, but you… you're another story altogether. You make my brain hurt, that's what you do. I'm still trying to figure you out. But anyway, fact time! My favourite band is Incubus – bet you didn't know _that_, didja? Despite your email address. Hah! Naruto winzzzz._

_Kiba yay! He came back with more lollies. He's so considerate. There, that's a reason. He's considerate. Thank Christ for spell-check. Your turn! I am handing you lollies as my parting gift. Kiba says you're a nasty piece of work and don't deserve any. I didn't tell him you asked me out. Should I? Oh crap, you asked me out. But good, no pressure. Pfft, that just puts the pressure on, you silly._

_Bye teme!_ (2)

Smashing my forehead on the keyboard is also a bad idea. I might do some damage. Instead I did a facepalm and sighed heavily, a strange mixture of amused and angry at the reply. He always was a strange child. But there it was, plain as day, Kiba was using this opportunity to make a move on Naruto, and God damnit it was working. Just remember the Shino plan and have faith. It had to work, it just_had_ to. Shino would choose someone, either explain or not explain, it didn't really matter, Kiba would get insanely jealous and realise he was being a dickhead and go back to Shino, leaving Naruto with me. Hopefully.

I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. I was resting too much on the hunch that Kiba and Naruto really were just confusing the line between friend and boyfriend, and while it was an incredibly strong hunch shared between a good four people, it was a hunch all the same.

An icon popped up on the screen and I glanced down at it, lips quirking. The name sounded like something Naruto would say. I checked the address – yep, it was him. How convenient.

**Just no:** What time is it?

**I will pwn you, Sai:** hello to you too. I don't know the clocks are all spastic. Judging by outside probs really late or really early. Why?

**Just no:** I just got your reply. Aren't you at Kiba's?

**I will pwn you, Sai:** yeah but he's asleep and the sugar's worn off now so don't stress :P

**Just no:** Oh good. It did make a very interesting email though.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** I try I try. So how's things? Still meeting girls?

**Just no:** What do you think? Of course I am.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** any more hot brothers?

**Just no:** Sadly, no.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** good

I raised an eyebrow but said nothing. This was definitely a different Naruto to the one that sent me the email not that long ago. Oh well, a Naruto that didn't like me checking out other guys was a Naruto that I was happy with – it meant I was _this_ much closer to shoving Kiba out of the picture.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** so you gonna answer me?

**Just no:** Is Kiba really asleep?

**I will pwn you, Sai:** yeah…

**Just no:** Good. I don't really want him to know what's going on if he doesn't already. Meaning don't tell him… what I asked you. And I don't particularly want to hear about him. I really don't care that much. It's like when you were into Sakura and she was stalking me. Not fun.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** someone's being brutally honest today

**Just no:** You should know me enough by now.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** point. Well now that that's over… –drum roll– Tell! XD

I tapped my fingers on the keyboard and thought for a moment, frowning a little.

**Just no:** I effectively got Gaara and Hinata together and I like being around you. You're fun.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** are you ok? Really?

**Just no: **Yes, why?

**I will pwn you, Sai:** uh… you just told me you got two people together (who are very happy by the way) which means you did something out of the kindness of your –coughHEARTcough- and commented about my sense of fun which I thought you hated. You just seem a bit weird. Short answers and whatnot.

**Just no:** Sorry for surprising you. Your turn.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** not sayin anything till you tell me

**Just no:** I'm fine.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** I'm glaring at you and crossing my arms

**Just no:** That's nice

**I will pwn you, Sai:** it'll be nicer for everyone if you tell me

**Just no:** What would you get out of it?

**I will own you, Sai:** nothing but if you don't tell me I won't answer your two thingies

**Just no:** Ugh

**I will pwn you, Sai:** shyah

**Just no:** I'm sick of Mum forcing girls on me

**I will pwn you, Sai:** …

I narrowed my eyes. He could come up with something better than '…', surely. I frowned at the sc- oh _shit_. Nonononono! Oh my God, how stupid could I possibly be! Make an excuse, quick, anything, it doesn't matter – just _do it_!

**Just no:** I've gotten into the habit of calling Tayuya Mum.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** I gathered. Just sorta didn't know what to say…

I breathed a sigh of relief. He wouldn't have thought anything suspicious anyway, but it never hurt to be careful. I'd have to pay more attention from now on. I'd never slipped up before – I'd come close, but never actually said 'Mum' unless I was around Shikamaru or Sakura, and it didn't matter then.

**Just no: **Well I told you so it's your turn.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** I will make you a problem-talky person eventually Sasuke I'll make sure of it

**Just no:** Ever heard of punctuation?

**I will pwn you, Sai:** yepand just to spite you I won't use it XD hnyah

I groaned. He could be so infuriatingly cute sometimes. Okay, all the time. How did he do it, honestly? It shouldn't be possible for anyone to have the ability to make me want to punch them and glomp them at the same time.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** mmmkay… because I feel like being super generous I'll give you a reason for you and Kiba and a fact. I don't care if you don't want to hear about him 'cos I'm still figuring shit out and believe it or not this is helping. And I think he's finally realising how dumb he was to break up with Shino since he started seeing Kankuro. Jeez it's only been like two weeks.

I felt my jaw drop but was powerless to stop it. _Kankuro_? Holy crap, that was unexpected. But I suppose, Kiba, Shino and Naruto were really the only ones who got along with him out of all of us. But… wow. Good choice, bug-boy.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** I know it's just to make him jealous but its working… dunno whether to be relieved or pissed. Why am I even telling you this? You're probably doing a very composed happy dance.

Damn right I was. I sent a very proud mental high five across the – was it the Pacific? – ocean.

**Just no:** I might be, but that's beside the point. I'm not really fussed about them, but a depressed Shino is very hard to deal with, as is a Kiba hovering around you 24/7.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** you're a bit possessive, teme. Kinda creepy.

"Sasuke!"

Father's deep voice boomed up the stairs and I cringed a little, glancing at the time. It was only noon. Why was he calling me already? Generally they left me alone until about five, which was when they wanted me to start getting ready for the attack of the females.

"Hai?" I called back.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** silence I see. Fine uuum… I like Kiba 'cos he can make me laugh but also has a serious side and I like you because you're intriguing. And yes I _do_ know what that means. You've got this mysterious thing happening that makes me want to know you.

The door opened and I minimised the conversation straight away, not trusting my father's prying eyes. He looked at me a little suspiciously but I just crossed my arms and asked him what he wanted. Politely, of course. No one talked down to my father.

"There's a very important man coming to lunch that we want you to meet. He'll be here in an hour, so make sure you're ready. You will not be going anywhere today, and I want you in my office in fifteen minutes."

I bowed my head politely and agreed. Very important man, my arse. It was probably just some businessman that Father wanted to impress with his perfectly trained son that he had, oh, _nothing_ to do with. He closed the door behind him and I scowled as I opened up the conversation with Naruto again.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** you just gonna stay silent until I give you a fact?

**I will pwn you, Sai:** hellooo?

**I will pwn you, Sai:** grah, fine then. I like sitting on the roof alone to think and yes I do think thanks very much. It's quiet out there and I like it. It clears my head. So… there you go. Gonna talk now?

**Just no:** Yeah I'm back, but I have to go. Shisui wants help with something. Glad the system's working, though.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** dude you are so deadpan. Crap Kiba's waking up. I'll talk to you some other time or drop you an email. When do you get back?

**Just no:** Sunday morning or something.

**I will pwn you, Sai:** catch ya then

I signed off and took a deep breath, pushing myself up from the chair and preparing myself for whatever lecture about what my father expected of me. As much as it was going to kill me, thinking about Naruto would have to wait half an hour. And then I'd only have fifteen minutes or so before Mr Hooh-Hah got here and made me concentrate on doing everything properly. I ran a hand through my hair in agitation outside my father's office door, willing myself to just get it over with and open the damn thing. I felt like someone about to go before the firing squad.

I pushed open the heavy wooden door and bowed to the devil in disguise, sitting all high and mighty behind his giant desk stacked high with countless important documents. I did my best not to look surprised when I noticed Shishui was sitting on a chair on the right of the room, and sank into the one on the left.

Father didn't even look up. Hn, figures. I glanced through my fringe at Shisui and raised an eyebrow in question, and he gave the tiniest of shrugs to say that he didn't know what was happening either.

Finally Father looked up at us and regarded us with his virtually black eyes. We all had the same Uchiha eyes, but they were a little creepy when on the receiving end. He frowned in thought and glanced back down at his desk, tapping the paper in front of him into a neat pile and placing his pen atop it along with his glasses. He leant back in his chair and folded his fingers in front of his mouth. I had a desperate wish for the chair to fall backwards and the desk to miraculously tip over and crush him. Ho, where'd all these hateful thoughts come from?

"Sasuke, Shisui, do you know why I've called you here?"

We both shook our heads. "No, Tōsan."

He blinked slowly. "I'm getting old." Yeah, no shit. "I need to leave Sharingan Protection in the hands of someone I can trust."

I tensed immediately and felt Shisui do the same next to me. This was what I'd been aiming for my whole life, even while Itachi was still sane and I was incredibly young, too young to be dreaming of things like this. I should have wanted to discover a magical land made of ridiculous amounts of sugar, not operating a protection agency that basically hired assassins to take out the bad guys or protect people who should be taken out. It was a bit twisted, but hey, that's my childhood for you.

"Are you suggesting one of us?" Shisui spoke up.

Father glanced at him briefly before regarding his fingertips. "Yes, Shisui. But as of yet I cannot trust either of you entirely. Shisui, you put too much faith in the teams you send out – you do not keep a close eye on every single man out there and confirm exactly what he will be doing. Aside from that, you are perfect, but you are not my son, which is where the main problem lies. Sasuke, I want to give Sharingan Protection to you."

Oh, Jesus. Just like that? It was mine? What? No, that couldn't be right. Didn't I get a chance to think? What if I didn't actually want this? But I did, didn't I? It was why I made sure to always be top of my class in school, report to my parents regularly and keep them up to date. I always put school first, wanting to be better than Itachi. But… No, it was what I wanted. It was definitely what I wanted.

I looked up and stared Father in the eyes. "I accept it, Tōsan." …There it was. That was it. I had no choice now. Bloody hell.

He gave me the tiniest of smiles but shook his head. I raised an eyebrow slightly, not sure if such a familiar gesture was appropriate or not. "I am pleased at your enthusiasm, but there are several conditions."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Shisui shift forwards a little. He wanted and deserved this more than me. I'd been in another country for the whole time he'd been learning, there was no way Father would hand me the business and disregard everything he'd worked for. Absolutely no way. …Mhmm.

"You must find an appropriate girlfriend –" Oh hell no. "– and you must live here for your training, as such."

Pfft, that so wasn't happening. Either of them. I glared at him to show exactly what I thought about _that_. "I'm afraid I cannot agree to those terms, Tōsan." Shisui wriggled further forwards. "Give the company to Shisui, he deserves it and he wants it more."

"You don't seem to have understood me, Sasuke." He crossed his arms and leant them on the desk, glaring down his nose at me. "This business will be yours; a direct Uchihan descendant of mine –" Man traditional families suck "– and Shisui will be your advisor. You _will_ find a female partner and thus a wife and you _will_ live here. It is not safe with your brother, and the only reason we haven't taken you away from him previously is because you never complained and you sounded content." That's because you never asked. "That is all your mother wants for you. Now, however, it is different. We manipulated the system so that none of our rival companies knew about your situation and we could keep you safe while being so far away, but no amount of money will keep the welfare system quiet for much longer. You must come to live with us, Sasuke, and I will _not_ take no for an answer."

Yes you will.

We stared each other down in silence for what seemed like hours before a timid knock at the door interrupted. Father rubbed his temples and Shisui and I exchanged awkward looks as Mother opened the door and bowed her head. "Sumimasen, but Sarutobi-san has arrived."

Well that certainly brightened Father's day. I scowled as he stood up and clapped his hands together, dread settling in my stomach. Shisui and I stood together ad followed Father out the door. I hung back a couple of steps and tugged on Shisui's sleeve to get his attention. He bent down slightly to my height so that we could whisper without being heard.

"I don't know if I want this, and I'm sure as hell not going to get married to some tart just to make him happy."

"You deserve it. You just need some training of how the company works and you'll be better at it that Tōsan himself. You've got a sharp mind, kid – won't take you long to learn the ropes."

I sighed. "But…"

He put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. He must've been the only Uchiha aside from my mother and her parents that could pull off a decent smile. "Think on it, okay. You've still got a week before you have to go."

I nodded and glanced up as Father cleared his throat, and couldn't help but look a little surprised at the incredibly old yet strong-looking man standing in the entrance hall. He had a sharp pinstriped black charcoal suit on with a crisp white shirt underneath, and thousands of wrinkled lining his face. A short pointed white beard and enormous eyebrows completed the creepy-rich-pimp look perfectly.

He flashed me a warm smile and strode right up to me, holding out his hand. "And this must be Sasuke, am I right?"

I nodded and shook the offered hand warily. The lack of a suffix wasn't lost on me at all… Maybe he wasn't so bad.

"Hajimemashite, Sarutobi-san," I bowed.

Father stepped forwards and clapped a hand on the old man's shoulder. "Sasuke, Sarutobi is from Wellington College. He'll be your principal for the next two years."

My father was the sneakiest bastard known to humankind, and if he survived the night then Naruto was Asian.

Not likely.

* * *

**(1)** Aah, this line was far too awesome to resist. Baha XD Yes yes, this scene is sketchy. That's because it's a dream, people! You try recalling every single happening in _your_ dreams, punk. Yeeeah, didn't think so.

**(2) **–shakes head sadly– You know what? I'm not gonna even explain. Anyone who's seen Arashi's 'Nino Cam' will understand.

Also, if their emails don't work then I'm sorry, I only just checked back to Chap 16 and saw they didn't work :( If it doesn't, then Sasuke's is yesiknow -at- blah blah, and Naruto's is thatsmyramenbitch -at- blah.

So, sequel names, guys. Please? I've already done a page or so of the first chapter and I know pretty much what's going to happen in it, I just need a name before I post it up because this one doesn't have much longer to go. Oh the pain! –sniffle-

Push the button... -angel smile- Please?

WY


	19. Language, Children

I don't know how I ever planned to have a relatively swear-free story with Tayuya involved… bleh. Also, very serious chapter, guys. Big, momentous, life-shattering, mind-altering, huge, elephant events in here. A bit long, but it had to be. I couldn't chop it, my bad.

Soo… possibly only one more chapter after this one – ZOMG wow XD

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

* * *

19. LANGUAGE, CHILDREN

I slammed my bedroom door and resisted the overwhelming urge to do a number of very violent things at once. I was tossing up between tearing Father's eyes out, ripping Sarutobi's head off, jumping out the window or various other destructive things that resulted in either my father's, Sarutobi's or my own death.

Oh choices, choices.

Deciding none of them would really get me anywhere, I opted for throwing my phone at the wall, watching the cover crack off and fall behind my bed. I smirked at the dent it left in the wall, sat down cross-legged and took several deep breaths.

10… 9… 8… If I murdered anyone I would go to jail. 7… 6… 5… No matter how satisfying it would be, don't do it. 4… 3… 2… Calm down. 1.

I closed my eyes and flopped back against my pillows. I was an Uchiha, a master of controlling anger. Or any emotion at all, for that matter. I had to think about this calmly and analyse my options – getting angry would just affect my judgement and I was likely to do something stupid.

So this was the deal: I go back to Konoha for third term, say my farewells, submit all the exit forms, deal with the welfare system, make up some piss-poor excuse to Itachi, and then… then move. Here. To New Zealand. For two years.

Calm, Sasuke, calm.

I would settle into my new school, Wellington College, during term four, and then complete my last two years there. During that time Father would teach me everything about Sharingan Protection, and when I finished school I would be left with the company. Everything to do with it would be mine, Shisui would be my second-in-command, so to speak, and I would be in charge of several of the world's deadliest assassins and bodyguards.

Calm.

I would have to leave everyone. That made me a little uncomfortable. I even had an attachment to the people I didn't like. Gaara, Neji, Tenten, Shino, Hinata, Lee, Choji, Ino, Sai, Kiba… Sakura, Shikamaru, Naruto and Itachi.

My stomach clenched uncomfortably at the thought of leaving them. The others I could live without, as horrible as I felt thinking it, but them… No way. Over my dead body. Perhaps I could deal with leaving just one out of the four, but I definitely couldn't ditch all of them. I dimly registered that I never would have thought like this before I'd gotten to know Naruto, and counted it as another reason I couldn't just up and leave. He was changing me for the better now.

Shikamaru and Sakura were like my second and third conscience, Itachi was a downright pain in the arse but he was also the constant, the one I could rely on to be insane and make my day interesting, and Naruto… Well, Naruto was Naruto, and I was rather attached.

I covered my face with my hands and frowned against my palms. This wasn't good. I mean, I knew I liked him, but the thought of leaving for two years was torture. Just the fact that I'd offered to tell him everything about myself showed how crazy I was about him. Sakura and Shikamaru were the only ones who knew my parents were alive, and it had been torture telling them.

I opened my eyes with a start and dropped my hands in surprise.

I needed Naruto. There was no two ways about it. Naruto was the only one who could – oh God this was going to sound so corny – the only who could make me, well, normal I guess. Maybe he could bring me down from my high place. Maybe he could warm me up a little. Maybe he could help me stand up to my parents. Maybe… Maybe I could help him. I could help him open up as he did the same for me, and give him someone else to talk to, someone else who cared, noticed that fake smile of his and genuinely cared enough to find out the reason and fix it. Maybe he needed that as much as I did. Maybe… It was all a bunch of 'maybe's, but they were 'maybe's I was willing to find out the definite answer for.

And there was no way I could leave Itachi. He would completely fall apart if I wasn't there. In his crazy I-killed-our-parents rants he would always say that he did it to save me. He changed the reason every time, but so far the most used one has been because he didn't want me to have to deal with the family pressure of always being the best, always upholding the Uchiha name. So he killed them. It made sense in his mind, I'm sure. He'd only made it worse for me, but I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn't his fault he went insane. In fact, no one ever found out why he suddenly snapped, but it was assumed that it was a combination of pretty much everything making his brain go into overload and basically undergo this huge alteration to escape from it.

I sure as hell hoped it didn't have anything to do with that family stress he apparently saved me from, because then I was done for. Perhaps I should pretend to be insane for the next few days, just to mess with my parent's heads and say 'look what you've done to _both_ your sons!' (1)

Speaking of family stress, I had to make a decision about this and for that I needed the park (I know, park in Concrete City? What?). Screw whatever Father said this morning about not going anywhere, I was going and that was that. Whichever girl they'd invited around tonight could be sorely disappointed, for all I cared. Perhaps she could drool over Shisui instead. Oh no, he didn't deserve that.

Oh well.

I jumped off my bed with a huff and strode over to the door, wrenching it open and nearly falling backwards in surprise as Mother launched herself at me in a bone-crushing hug. What the…?

"I'm so sorry, darling! I'm so, so sorry! I just wanted you to be happy and I know that you've spent your whole life working to get the Sharingan position, and this was the only thing your father and I could agree on. He wanted to give it straight to Shisui but I talked him around so please, please don't throw this back in his face. You'll run this company better than anyone ever did, I honestly believe that. Better than your father, even. This is the only way it will happen, honey, and I know you have friends back home and your brother to look after, but this is for the best. You will understand in time, I promise."

I patted her awkwardly on the back as she gushed at me and moved my arm around to check my watch. Huh, that was a good forty-five seconds. Nice effort, Mum.

I refused to analyse the information she'd just given me (or the guilt-trip) until I had time to think in the park, and so gave her the best smile I could muster and went on my way. I raced down the stairs, completely ignored my father, briefly raised my hand to Shisui, who looked really apologetic, and slammed the door behind me to let Father know just how unhappy I was about him making decisions concerning my life.

Calm, Sasuke.

Fortunately, the park was close by and so I was seated on a bench with my head in my hands before I knew it. I ran through the day's events in my mind for the hundredth time, still unable to come to a decision. I had to choose though, I really did. It was Sharingan or… or what? The first thing I thought of was Naruto, but I couldn't drop what I had worked for my whole life just for some stupid high-school obsession.

Something light settled itself down next to me and I glanced over briefly to see a bandana-wrapped head of hot pink hair on a small girl.

Hn. I didn't need people right now. I stood up to leave, but a tiny gasp from the girl behind caused me to glance around again.

"Itachi?!" She exclaimed. The first thing I pick up on was that she was obviously Japanese despite her hair, and took a moment to consider the chances of meeting another Japanese person before I mentally facepalmed and gave her a curious look, wondering how she knew my brother and cursing her for thinking I was him. Did we really look that alike?

"No, wrong one. Who're you?"

She stood up and narrowed her eyes to examine my face. Realisation slowly dawned and she stepped back a little, legs hitting the bench we were previously sitting on.

"Holy sh – no _fucking_ way! Sasuke? Oh my God, I haven't seen you in like, _forever_!"

The stranger launched herself at me in a hug similar to my mother's and I pushed her away hurriedly. What the hell?

"Who are you?" I asked again, holding her at arms length as she swore repeatedly in amazement. Whoever she was, she had quite a mouth on her.

She put her hand sin her hips and blew her fringe out of her eyes. Why did she basically plaster it to her face if it annoyed her? Add that to my female mystery list.

"You honestly don't remember me?" Her tone was scolding and I frowned a little, taking a step away to give her a once over. Something triggering in the back of my – whoa.

"Tayuya?" That would explain the bad language, then.

She nodded and hugged me again, gushing almost incoherently. "Oh my God, I can't believe it's you! What a coincidence!" She reminded me a little of Sakura. "I haven't seen you in _ages_!" Or my mother. "Shit, man, this is _so_ insane." She shook her head a little in disbelief and finally let go of me. Almost. An arm looped through mine and she started to lead me out of the park. I tried to yank it out of her grip but she held me strong. Oh God, I was being kidnapped.

"Yeah, amazing, wow, let me go."

She laughed and just gripped tighter. Perhaps it was Ino… "I called Itachi the other day, you know. How crazy is that? We have to keep in contact, you see, both working for Orochimaru and all. The gang and I are running the new chain of theatres here and trying to boost business. I'm the stage composer, Kidomaru is props director, Sakon and Ukon are in charge of casting and costumes, Jirobo's our technical man and Kidomaru's running the show. We're a good team, actually. Apparently it's all turning to shit back home, which is surprising. It was always going so well! But Kimimaro says he's got a master plan that's bound to get it back on his feet, starting down here. Load of bullshit if you ask me. But anyway, Itachi sounds like he's doing well despite APAC. He's found himself a boyfriend! Oh, how cute is that? A-a-and, he told me _all_ about you, you know."

Oh God. She was a mixture of all three.

She grinned at me and continued despite my silence being a clear indicator that I was just a little uncomfortable. "I've heard all about your struggles with your little blonde man-friend. Did you know we'd been talking like, once a week since I moved? I've been here for the last six months, you know. He's been talking to Kimimaro a lot, too. I think Kimi fancies him, actually. But how's things going for you? Have you scored your boy yet? Why are you here, anyway? Itachi said you'd gone on school camp for the holidays in the South Island and I was like 'ooh no, I won't get to see him' but you're _obviously_ not there…"

It was as if someone had taken my mother, Sakura and Ino, put them all in a blender and come up with this person.

"Oh my God, are you with your parents? It's so difficult talking to Itachi on the phone and holding back from saying 'yeah I saw your father yesterday' because he'd have a full-on freak-session. Fuck, how do you _live_ with him? Holy crap, are you getting Sharingan Protection or something? _Wow_! Ooh Itachi would be so pissed if he was still sane!"

I grunted. "I wouldn't be getting it if he was still sane."

Tayuya stopped walking and put her hands on her hips again, finally letting me go. "You know, that's the first proper thing you've said to me after I haven't seen you for a whole damn year, and you sound so bloody depressed."

I grunted again and kicked at the ground, continuing along the footpath she had lead us onto and having no idea where I was going. "You didn't shut up long enough to let me say anything."

She huffed and hurried to catch up to me, grabbing at my arm again and yanking me backwards. "Right, you little shit, you're coming with me. You need to get some serious shit off your chest and it looks like I'm the only person you know here."

"I barely know you."

"Not seeing you for a year doesn't cancel out the few years previous, dumbarse. Now who did you kill?"

I was a little taken aback at the question, but reminded myself that she was one of Itachi's friends and therefore prone to strange moments such as this.

"No one."

"Who do you want to kill?" The sad thing was, she had it right. Damn girls.

I raised an eyebrow. "No one."

She raised her own eyebrow in return and I conceded defeat with a sigh. "Tōsan."

She grinned wickedly. "Come with me, we're going to get some coffee."

"It's five o'clock in the afternoon."

"I know."

"Isn't that a bit late for coffee?"

She rolled her eyes and tugged me into walking with her. "It's never too late for coffee, my friend."

* * *

Her jaw dropped open and I stared into my coffee. Perhaps it would be better if I stayed away from Naruto. I wouldn't spill my guts to everyone, at least.

"Fuck, so _that's_ why you're shitty?"

I nodded, not bothering to call her up on her language. It had never worked before and I highly doubted she'd suddenly had a change in morals since I'd last seen her.

"So you're really serious about this Naruto, huh?"

I paused for a moment before nodding. It was true. I'd never admit to him how much he meant to me, but at least I could admit it to myself now. He was important to me, to put it simply. Very important.

"Well obviously you're not gonna accept the offer, right?"

I shrugged and took a sip of the dark liquid, a little uncomfortable at how easy that whole conversation with her had been. It was just like talking to Sakura or Shikamaru, and that creeped me out just a little. Sure, I'd told her about my crushes and whatnot before, but… Damn Naruto, let's just leave it at that.

"You're actually thinking about it?!"

I shrugged again and looked out the window, noting that the sun was setting.

She slammed a hand down at the table and I jolted a little in surprise, turning to look back at her along with several other café goers. "No way in _hell_ are you going to leave everyone at Konoha. Naruto sounds like the real thing and I refuse to let you live here. I'll tell Itachi everything. I swear I'll do it."

My eyes widened at her ferocity and I put my cup down for fear of dropping it. She was just as insane as my brother.

"You can't just… you can't just wimp out on something big like this! This is your _life_, Sasuke, and you have to live it! Just from the way you were talking about Naruto I can tell he means a fuckload to you, and you seriously can't just drop him like that. You're fucking sixteen, for Christ's sake! What the hell kind of father is he to plan your life _now_, when there are so many more worthwhile things you could be doing? Sharingan isn't all it's cracked up to be, really. You're going to be dealing with some heavy shit in there, trust me. I'm pretty good friends with Shisui and he's told me some horrible stuff. Sure you'd be good at it, but… any Uchiha would be. You're all cold bastards who can look at a severed head and just say 'he had a bad haircut' or something profound like that."

I scoffed. "So could you." We'd watched our score of horror films together. Without Itachi, of course. Didn't want him getting ideas, now.

"Yeah well that's beside the point."

"Look, stop telling me how to live my life, please." She looked offended but I talked over her annoyed response. "I might be serious about Naruto, but he's not serious about me. He only just realised he was gay about a month or so ago so it's all a mess for him and I pressured him by asking him out. There's the whole Kiba problem screwing it up, too. I've been working to run Sharingan my entire life, okay, and I can't… I can't just throw it in Father's face because of some guy who doesn't even know for certain if he likes me or not."

She rolled her eyes. "Make him like you."

Lucky I put my cup down or else I definitely would've dropped it in shock and horror. "You don't _make_ someone like you. That's… that's wrong. I don't _want_ to make him fall for me. It would be fake."

She snorted and threw the rest of her drink down her throat, clanging the cup back down onto the saucer loudly. A passing waitress glared at her. Tayuya glared right back. I smirked into my coffee.

"An Uchiha giving me a lecture about morals? Hah, never thought I'd see the day."

I scowled but she just shrugged and swirled the last dregs of her coffee around her mug. "That thing with the trading reasons and info is pretty neat, you know. I don't mean to force him to like you, I mean you can… I don't know, convince him, maybe."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Well you guys are finding out about each other, right? You haven't really told him anything overly important yet. Sure you've shown more of yourself, but it sounds like you're both skirting around some pretty big shit."

I wasn't stupid. I knew what she was getting at right away, and there was no way that was ever happening. Sakura and Shikamaru were enough, no one else needed to know that I wasn't an orphan. I shook my head firmly.

"Not happening."

She sighed and leaned forward to grab my hands. I flinched away but she held firm, her voice taking on a stern motherly tone.

"You want to tell him, you know you do. He wants to know, at least, so stop being a whinging bitch and _tell_ him."

I shook my head again and her grip tightened on my fingers. They started throbbing just a little.

"The only way you're going to know if he's worth ditching pretty much your whole life over is if you tell him everything. He has to appreciate what you're doing for him. If it doesn't change how he feels about you when you've spilled your entire heart-wrenching tale of woe to him then he never really liked you in the first place."

"That's a comforting thought."

She snorted. "I'm good at them."

We fell into a contemplative silence and she let go of my hands. I wriggled them to get the blood flowing again and glanced out the window. It was getting dark now, the sky a dull orange-red glow. It was quite nice, really, but now wasn't the time to be thinking about sunsets. I had two more very difficult options dumped on me. How much more eventful did this day want to get, damnit?

"It's too early to make any life-changing decisions. As you said, I'm only sixteen."

"Yeah but you're sixteen with a father who wants to decide your life for you. You have to take matters into your own hands, and that means finding out how serious you really are about everything. About Naruto, about Sharingan, even Itachi has a lot to do with it. You won't leave him. Even if the Naruto business falls into a heap, you won't leave him. I know you too well."

"You don't know me at all."

She narrowed her eyes. "Sh. I like to think I do. It makes me feel more confident that I'm not directing you straight into depression with crappy advice."

* * *

Believe it or not, Tayuya didn't send me in a direct path to depression at all my sudden awful decisions, and I came out of that café knowing exactly what I had to do. I stayed out with her until it was well and truly dark, catching up and talking surprisingly easily while the same waitress glared at us whenever a particularly foul word escaped Tayuya's mouth.

Funny how it got considerably worse whenever she walked past…

I'd ignored my father for a good two days though, counting down how much time I had left before I had to tell him what I'd decided and then get my arse out of here. I think he'd finally realised just how unappreciated his 'this is best for you' approach was.

The phone rang in my room and I leapt over to it, not wanting to wake up the rest of the house. Who the bloody hell was calling at this time of night?

"Hello, Uchiha residence."

"Sasuke?"

That was weird… I hadn't given anyone the number except Itachi and I'd said it was the hotel number and only to ring if it was an emergency. Like an oh-my-god-I've-been-decapitated kind of emergency. Which, of course, was impossible and so therefore couldn't have been my brother calling me. I frowned.

"…Yes."

A relieved sigh from the other end. "Oh good I got the right number. Itachi was telling me in between this long-winded story of his trip to the laundry so I wasn't sure if I'd gotten it right."

I furrowed my brows. That voice was kind of familiar, and they had to be from Konoha if they knew my bro- "_Naruto_?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, it finally clicks."

Oh shit. Nonono, this wasn't good. I had to tell him, apparently. I couldn't though. Not yet. But it was the perfect opportunity! And he'd rung me of his own accord which meant he wanted to talk to me. Oh crap, what do I do, what do I do?

"Teme?"

I shook my head and resumed breathing. "Yeah, I'm here. What do you want?"

He huffed down the line but I could hear the smile in his voice. "Does there have to be a reason for everything with you? What if I just want to talk, huh? Did that ever cross your mind? Don't you want to talk to me? You poor excuse for a human!"

"I'm not human."

"Oh yes, my bad. How could I forget?"

"Your filing system must be out of order."

There was a short pause before Naruto choked out, "Did you just make a joke? Like, a real proper joking joke? Not one just to spite someone and make them feel bad, but a _joke_?"

I furrowed my brows, just a little offended. "I might've. Now what did you really call for?"

He sighed again. "I just couldn't wait to hear your lovely voice again, Sasuke."

"No seriously, I'm tired." More like 'I'm freaking out because I want to tell you that my parents are alive but don't really know if I can so I'm scrounging around for any excuse not to talk to you no matter how half-arsed it is'.

"Why, what's the time?"

I glanced at the clock. "Ten past midnight. What about there?"

"I don't know, I just woke up and rang you. Don't have a clock in my room 'cos I hate the light when I'm sleeping."

"Is that a fact?"

"Ye-no."

I chuckled a little.

"Actually, that's kinda why I rang you… I like this, you know, trading facts about each other. I figured you've been away for a week and a bit now and we've really only told each other two things even though you said 'every day for as long as it takes'… And I'm not even going to ask what 'it' is."

I didn't answer for a moment, taken aback at his serious change in attitude from his initial 'I refuse to tell you anything' to now saying that he liked it. Well, it was all the better for me, I guess. If Naruto was more willing then he was warming up to me. Maybe I wouldn't have to tell him about my parents after all… Yeah, right.

"Well fire away then. We've got a good week's worth to catch up on."

He made a choking sound. "I'm more concerned with the reasons at the moment, but I don't think I've even got enough for a week."

"Neither do I."

"Then how does that work?"

"It doesn't."

"You're weird."

"So are you."

"Teme."

"Dobe."

"Hey, I resent that!"

"Good."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Good question. "Why don't you tell me?"

"Ugh, you're so arse-y!"

"At least I _have_ an arse." Lame comebacks for the win. What was I even hoping to achieve with that?

"Well so do I!"

"And a very nice one at that." … Hm… Inappropriate?

"Okay that was a little creepy. Shut up and let me talk, you."

I couldn't help smiling a little and complying with his request. Anything to stall the inevitable, really. "Okay, okay, go."

I could practically feel his scowl through the phone. "Right, um… so are we giving lots of reasons or lots of facts or what?"

I shrugged even though he couldn't see me. "Whatever. I don't think I have enough for either so… just something that counts for a lot, I guess."

He was silent for a little bit as he thought, then he said, "Okay, just don't interrupt me. You act like you couldn't care less whether any of us died tomorrow, but I know that there's a select few you'd protect without a second thought. Sakura, for one. Sometimes it seems like you hate her but when she's pissed off or upset about something you always try and find out what's wrong and you're concerned about her. I see you like that with Shikamaru sometimes, too. I like that about you."

I was silent for a moment, considering that answer. It was very deep for Naruto, to say the least. And the fact that he paid enough attention to notice that was a little surprising. "Um… thanks?"

"Yeah whatever." He sounded embarrassed. Aw. "Don't let it get to your head; it's big enough as it is." And it all gets destroyed with that one sentence. "Your turn."

I stood up off my chair as I thought of a reason and lay down heavily on my bed. I really should've been thinking them up in the gap between emails, but I'd been too preoccupied with this whole 'you will run Sharingan' crap and hadn't really had time to think of why I liked him in place of reliving the particularly lovely dreams of the past couple of nights.

No, no, now isn't the time to get distracted again.

Right, um… "You're so determined to prove yourself that you make us all look a little washed out. Which is sort of a good and bad thing, but you don't care what others think about you."

"Oh, you have no idea."

"Hm?"

"Never mind, another time."

"I'll hold you to that."

"I don't doubt it. So, another reason? You go, I'm thinking."

I rolled my eyes and racked my brains. If I was serious about him I had to show it somehow. My reasons hadn't been all that great so far, except maybe that last one. I really did care for Naruto, perhaps a little too much, but… I didn't think he knew that. He couldn't possibly know because I was still a smartarse to him a lot of the time. Think, Sasuke, think!

"You… You're not afraid of me. At all. You put me in my place without a second thought, and barely anyone else does that. Well they do, they just get shit-scared after I glare at them and run through a list of all the numerous ways I could kill them. Unless they're Sakura. You're not afraid to just tell me to shut up and get over myself… I need that."

Silence.

Crap, maybe that was too deep. I'd basically said I needed him. Agh, Sasuke you retard! You really like jumping the gun with things, don't you? Way to ask him out, tell him to forget it, then pretty much say 'I need you'. How pathetic can you get?

Naruto cleared his throat from the Northern hemisphere but said nothing. Okay, scrounging time.

"Right, um, you want a fact?"

A barely distinguishable 'mmhmm' from Naruto.

I took a deep breath and sifted through my mind, trying to find an appropriate one that wasn't 'Hey, I'm living with my parents for two years. Yeah, they're alive, funny that.'

"Um… Crap, I don't know. I'm not a virgin, there."

There was a tiny, awkward silence, then the distinctive sound of a palm connecting with a forehead. "Dude, I didn't need to know that."

"I couldn't think of anything else, but if you want to know, it was a guy."

More slapping sounds. He's give himself concussion at this rate. "No, I didn't especially want to know. But I figured since there was no way you had sex in year eight when you liked girls."

"I can tell you who –"

"No! I do _not_ want any disturbing mental images, thanks."

I smiled, not smirked. He sounded cute like that, all flustered and awkward, trying not to laugh. Very cute.

"Well I _am_ a virgin, so there's my bit of info for you."

I couldn't hide my surprise. "What, Sakura never…?"

"No! I didn't want to. I wonder why."

I chuckled. Well, I'd lightened the mood a little at least. I glanced at the time. Ugh, quarter to one. No wonder my eyes were getting heavy. "As nice as this is, I really have to go to bed."

"More girls to meet tomorrow?"

Oh crap, I hadn't thought about that. There hadn't been any for the last two days, so I was about due for another torture session. "Most likely, yes."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Which is a lot, by the sounds of things."

"Oh haha, smartarse. Wait, before you go I owe you a reason."

I waited in silence, my finger resting on the hang up button.

"I like the way you deal with your brother. It sounds a little weird, yeah, but it's sort of cute how you stress about him a lot and always make sure he's okay. It shows that you've got a soft side to that Ice Bitch act you put on a lot."

He'd just called me cute. And he'd noticed yet again that half of my life was an act.

"You're too observant. It was Gaara."

And I hung up on his anguished cry of "Aaauugh!!"

* * *

I smacked my head on the keyboard and swore violently at myself. Right, this was it. I was going to do it, no matter what. I had to. I was going home very soon and there was no way I could tell him this face to face. It was now or never. He deserved to know, after all.

I glanced back up at the email he'd sent me, a feeling of anger, horror, dread and disgust settling deep in my stomach. When I got back home, someone was going to die.

_When are we going to stop playing games, teme? Orochimaru tries stuff with me all the time, since he first moved in in year seven, and if you don't know what I mean by stuff then you're dumber than I thought. Tsunade never believes me and tells me to stop trying to get attention, that's why she let him teach, to prove to me he was fine. I tried to explain it once and she got a bit violent._

_I've already told you I know nothing about my parents, and I reckon you're the only one who'd understand how much that hurts. Now I sound like I'm whingeing. Well I don't feel like going into details. Maybe eventually, but not yet. This whole situation is strange._

_You can stop giving me that weird look whenever you can tell I'm doing my fake smile because now Kiba isn't the only one who knows why. And tell me something worthwhile for once. We've both been screwing around and ignoring why you really started this whole thing, so just spit it out already._

Orochimaru was definitely going to die. Perhaps I could blame it all on insanity like Itachi had and get away with it like that. Or frame someone else. Tsunade, maybe, for not believing Naruto and making him fake his way through the last four years of school. My fists clenched and I glared down at them.

An Uchiha. Master of controlling emotions. Calm down. Get angry when you get back.

I lifted my head and began a reply, ready to bare my life to him. I'd have to either kill Tayuya or send her copious amounts of chocolate later on. I was yet to decide which.

I took a deep breath.

_We're talking about this when I get back on Sunday, you realise. We weren't playing games before; it was all for a reason. Neither of us would have been comfortable jumping into the deep end right away._

_Thanks for taking the initiative to quit it, though, really. I've been thinking about this for the last few days, and I'm apologising in advance. You said I was the only one who knew what it was like to lose your parents, but even if it were true we still wouldn't have been the same. I knew my parents, still do, whereas you never did. I'll never be able to understand how you feel, and there's nothing to understand on my side._

_You want to know where I am right now? New Zealand, yeah, but with some old friends? No. I'm living with my parents, actually. They're here in Wellington with my cousin. You know, Shisui. I didn't lie about that. I guess I should start from the start, huh? This is cutting a really long story short, just so you know._

_Itachi is insane, really, but he didn't kill our parents. He thinks he did, though. Absolutely dead set on the idea. Tōsan owns a private protection company called Sharingan Protection. Itachi was all set to take over after Tōsan, but one day something just crashed in his mind and he went nuts and tried to kill everyone. Shisui and a couple of clients who were in at the time restrained him, sent him to hospital. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia or something to do with split personalities and after a while was sent home. Our parents were ashamed, the business fell apart because no one was going to trust someone with an insane son who could betray them all at any moment or do something to ruin whatever job they were on. Itachi knew pretty much everything about the business, you see._

_So they moved during the break between my sixth and seventh years and left us behind, saying they would come to get me soon. They never did, and sent a letter a year later asking if I wanted to come and live with them, but I liked it with Itachi and stayed. Basically, they keep up-to-date with my studies, make sure I'm doing the right thing, that Itachi hasn't killed the successor to Sharingan, and that I find a rich girlfriend._

_I hadn't actually seen Tayuya in a year because she was Itachi's old friend, but I ran into her a few days ago and she convinced me to spill all to you. Kā-san's the one who's been forcing girls on me no matter how many times I tell her I'm gay._

_Tōsan wants me to take over Sharingan when he steps down instead of giving it Shisui, so this next term at Konoha might be my last. It all seems a little pointless now, doesn't it? And over-dramatic. I don't know what I want to do yet. I can't throw it back in Tōsan's face but I don't know if I want to. If I go for it then I have to leave Konoha at the end of third term and live here while Tōsan slowly breaks me into running the company, then I can hand the NZ branch to Shisui and move back here in maybe five years. I honestly don't have a choice in the matter, though. I've worked my whole life for this, but now… You know what? You have a habit of complicating things._

_So there you go, the real deal to my life. Sorry, I've got parents. They suck, but they're still there._

I stared blankly at the screen, surprised at myself. That came out far whinier than I was aiming for. But then, Naruto's had sounded similar, so maybe that was just how things came across when confessing something you didn't want to confess.

I sighed into my hands and flicked my eyes up to the send button. Just one click and it would all be there for Naruto to read. All of it. Well, not entirely all – I hadn't told him about when Itachi went crazy eyes, or how he'd always bested me when we were kids, or the inner conflict of my feelings for the dobe, but the root of it all was there. The reason and truth behind everything.

I hadn't even wanted to tell him about moving here for my 'training', but it had sort of come out. I wouldn't have been able to stop halfway through and then spring it on him later.

I dropped one hand to the mouse and moved it over to the icon, hovering above it and willing myself to click. Sure, it was life-changing, but it wasn't going to affect the whole world. Just do it. It's for the best and you know it. This is the probably the only way he's going to realise how insanely hard you've fallen for him. Just press the damn button!

I closed my eyes and clicked, cracking one open afterwards. Shit, I missed. I rolled my eyes at myself and hit it properly, all the sick feelings returning tenfold. I needed a bathroom.

I stood slowly and shakily, aware that what I'd done was… important, to say the least. That was my life in an email. The story behind how everything was today. I hoped to God that Naruto appreciated just how much of a big deal that was.

But then again, maybe I hadn't appreciated just how important what he'd told me was. I felt the urge to throw up when I remembered it. Just the thought of someone doing … _that_ to Naruto was horrible. More than horrible. It was currently topping the list of Most Sickening Things I've Ever Heard. It was… It was _Naruto_. How could anyone even _think_ of treating him like that?!

I clenched my fists into tight balls, my nails digging into my palms despite their short length. It was wrong. So totally wrong. Everything about Orochimaru was wrong. And he was _teaching_? I wasn't ever letting him anywhere near Naruto. Ever.

I punched my desk, just once, to release the overwhelming anger that took over momentarily. Sometimes it got a little too much, even for an Uchiha.

* * *

I flexed my fingers as my father leant on his clasped hands and looked from me to Shisui and back again, eyes narrowed slightly. I frowned at him and tried not to squirm too much and the unbelievable amount of tension in the room. Shisui was sitting straight-backed and perfect as usual, and I corrected my own position a little. No slouching in front of the father.

"So I am to assume that you have made a decision, Sasuke?"

I nodded stiffly. Half an hour before I had to go. Half an hour of hell. He raised an eyebrow at me. Shisui didn't move. He already knew the answer, anyway. We'd decided on this together.

"I will accept it, Tōsan.

And I waved as my life flew past in a blur. I suppressed the urge to jump up and catch it, ramming my words back down my throat and rewinding time. That didn't happen, I didn't say it, I didn't, I couldn't have.

Oh but I did. Yes I did.

He gave me a barely recognisable smile, looked to Shisui, who blinked slowly and nodded to him, then looked back to me. I said nothing – what was there _to_ say? He'd won, fair and square. He knew I wouldn't back down from this. Once again: bastard.

Father said nothing either, just stood up and held out his hand. I got the point and stood too, reaching out to shake it.

If it wasn't final before, it sure as hell was now.

And then everything happened in a blur. Father gave me details on how Itachi would be dealt with, I tried and failed to ignore the sickening lurch in my stomach, Mum gave me a very soppy goodbye and said that she just couldn't _wait_ to see me again soon, I tried and almost failed not to throw up, said my goodbyes to Shisui and Father, and out the door I went into the taxi. That's right, my own parents couldn't even be bothered to drive me to the airport.

It was when I was getting out of the taxi and lugging my bags behind me that I realised that I'd made a tiny mistake. Just tiny. Not big. Nuh-uh. Not at all.

I stared at my phone screen and swore violently under my breath.

**Holy fucking hell I can't believe oh my god I'll be at your house when you get back. We have some shit to discuss. Xx N.**

Yep.

Just a little mistake.

Shit.

* * *

**(1)** I got a sudden image of Sasuke strutting down a fancy staircase in a sparkly dress and heels when I wrote this…

My page dividers weren't working... GRR.

Okay, so here are the options for sequel titles from you guys (I won't tell you which ones are my favourites, I'll let you decide):

- Yes, my Life's a Shakespearian Tragedy

- I Like You, He Likes you, Get Over it

- So he's my boyfriend, right?

- This guy is my world

- Can this be love?

- Maybe I shouldn't have said that... (at least I think that was the title...)

- So Now That I'm Dating This Guy

YAY! Thank you all! And the only one I could think of following the title of this one is 'And He's A Bit Of A Pain.' So when you read it through it's 'So there's this guy, right? And he's a bit of a pain...'

Uh yeah... So, you decide, everyone! I feel like I've been so slack with this, but I've suddenly been thrown into the cosplay world and Gaara's costume is SO hard to make. Fing gourds. -shakes fist- rargh. So I've been neglecting the story a little. Is anyone reading this going to Melbourne Supanova? WATCH THE COSPLAY COMP! I WILL BE THERE! And I get to say "I have sand in my underwear... it chafes..."

So happy!

Shutting up now. Review!


	20. Deep And Meaningfuls

Long AN, but it's my last chapter so I have a right to make a long one. I don't blame you if you don't read it XP.

Oh. My. God.

I opened my email a couple days after I posted chapter 19, and there were like, 45 reviews in total waiting for me. HOLY CRAP! I love you all to no end, I'm serious!! I just sat there with my jaw on the floor for what seemed like forever until I finally got the courage to actually open them and read them.

I'm SO sorry for the ridiculously late update!! We had a storm and our phone line got a tree on it and then we decided to change our internet and so didn't have any for 10 days but RARGH I LOVE YOU! –glomps each and every one of you- I'm sorry I couldn't reply to the reviews, but as I explained with the internet issue, it was kinda hard.

**K1M**, you asked for photos of my cosplay, so here ye go. Just get rid of the spaces. Wow It's Long. And the (underscore) is an actual underscore that refuses to show up. Same with the (percent).

http : / s74. photobucket. com/ albums/ i244/ BOE(underscore)4eva/ Cosplaying (percent)20at (percent)20Supanova (percent)20Melbourne (percent)202008/

I hope it works... If not just tell me if you really want to see them that badly and yeah... or just go to my myspace which is on my profile. They're on there XD. And **Pacificana**, yes we are on youtube. Look up Naruto Is Gay Cosplay Supanova. Ignore my retardness at the start... -facepalm-

We won the group division! WOOT! If anyone was at the Melbourne Supanova and watched the cosplay comp, the Naruto group was us, and I was Gaara. Oh yeah, that's right –proud nod- I got glomped by fangirls. Mhmm. –whispers- they're kinda scary.

Mkay, I'll stop bragging now and let you read, lol. Sequel title dilemmas will be at the end.

Behold, the final chapter of 'So There's This Guy, Right'!! –trumpet fanfare- YAY!

**Previous disclaimers apply.**

* * *

20. DEEP AND MEANINGFULS

The taxi screeched off down the road behind me as I trudged up the steps, feeling like the world was on my shoulders. My luggage was bloody heavy.

I dumped my bags on our front doorstep, sifting through my pockets for the key. Why did keys _always_ have to get lost? No matter where you put them, even if it was somewhere you were sure to remember, you always forgot and spent a good ten minutes in the morning scrounging around for them, making yourself later than you already were.

I finally found the shifty chunks of metal and jammed one of them into the keyhole, growling in frustration when it wouldn't unlock. I tried again. Still didn't work. I cursed quietly to myself. Right, third time lucky – there we go. Just as well. So not in the mood for that right now.

"Itachi?" I cried out into the house. No answer. I couldn't quite decide if that was a good or bad, my mind instantly running through the very long list of other things he could be doing if he wasn't home, not all of them ending with him keeping his life. Unstable people have an annoying habit of doing stupid things like endangering their lives. I figured there was no use worrying about it until I confirmed where he was, and lurched my way down to my room, bags dragging behind me. I battled a yawn as I kicked open my door, throwing all my belongings onto the floor with a dull thud.

Damn jet lag.

As I sifted through all my clothing and pulled out everything that needed to be washed, the sick feeling that had settled in my stomach around three days ago decided to make itself known again, and I grimaced. That's right, Naruto knew I'd be back tonight, and he'd be damned if he waited until Wednesday to speak to me at school. Which meant I had to go through the 'yes my parents really _are_ alive' and the feeling of wanting to rip Orochimaru's head off all over again.

Not an exciting prospect, but one that had to be done to make Naruto see that if I was willing to go so far as to give him my life story when no one really knows anything about me (save a select couple), then I must be pretty damn serious.

Which I was. I definitely was. I was so serious about this now that it hurt just a little to think about.

I pushed open the laundry door with my hip, frowning to myself.

Perhaps the sick feeling in my stomach meant several things – that I was disgusted with myself for clinging to someone else so completely, for depending on them, or perhaps it was nerves that maybe, just maybe, Naruto would finally look at me properly and like what he saw. Maybe he had an answer for me even though I'd told him to forget it. Or perhaps the uneasiness meant that I was afraid of something – of rejection? Of opening up to someone? Of making a total dick of myself and breaking down?

I scoffed at myself. Yeah, not likely.

I must have been the very first Uchiha to ever have gone so far to get into someone's pants. I had a very sudden desire to beat myself to a pulp for that thought. I knew this wasn't about getting into his pants; this was about l- no, no it wasn't.

I ordered myself never to think like Sakura ever again.

I growled to myself under my breath. "You're just a st- holy shit! What the hell are you doing, you nutcase?!"

A pair of dirty jeans was currently looped around my brother's shoulders, where he was comfortably seated in the washing machine. Yes, dear people, _in_ the washing machine. When did he become a contortionist?

He blinked up at me, the picture of insane innocence. Oh dear God, how did I ever miss this?

"Oh, you're back. How was your trip? Tayuya said she saw you. I thought you were in the South Island? But then again, I don't really know much about that place. Can't even remember what it's called, to be honest."

I sighed and held out my hand. "That's nice, now-"

"Kisame was here a while ago… where'd he go?" The bastard interrupted me. "When did you get back? Why are your jeans around my neck? I never liked this pair, sorry. Wait, no hang on, I've never seen these ones before. Did you buy them overseas?" Just let him rant, Sasuke. Let him get it out. "Oh, this blonde boy came around looking for you or some- no he didn't, he knew you were away but he… he wanted your number, that's it. I gave it to him but I don't know if it was the right one. I just saw one on the fridge and assumed it was yours. I hope the hotel wasn't too much trouble for him. I couldn't remember what room you said you were staying in. It's quite comfortable in here, you know."

He squirmed a little and tilted his head up at me, still blinking those big innocent eyes. But he couldn't fool me, oh no. There were too many memories stored under this hat to just forget because of one big-eyed stare.

"That's amazing, Itachi, now get out. I have to do the washing."

He curled his knees up tighter to his chest and wrapped an arm around the spinner of the washing machine, hugging it possessively. He shook his head firmly.

"Come on, that can't be good for you. You'll get cramps."

Another shake of the head.

I groaned and rested my elbow on the machine, holding my head up with the palm of my hand and scowling down at him. "Really, bro, I haven't got time for this. Why did you even get in there in the first place?"

He hugged the spinner tighter. "Kisame told me to."

I gritted my teeth. I might have to have a talk with that kid. I got a mental image of his shark-like grin and crazy eyes and repressed a shudder. On second thoughts, let's leave shark-boy to my insane brother currently seated in a washing machine. Yes, that sounded like a much better plan.

"Well it doesn't matter who told you to do what, the point is you have to get out now."

"Why?"

"So I can do the washing."

"Do I have to get out for that?"

"Unless you feel like drowning, yes."

He thought for a moment, then shook his head with a slight frown. "Oh… no… No, I wouldn't like that… No, okay."

And then, yes, yes, was he – yes! He was out. Oh good. I smiled encouragingly at him, and after giving me a weird look he climbed completely out, landing lightly on the floor and looking down at me with those huge eyes that he was deluded in thinking could win me over and think that maybe he wasn't so bad. Yeah, sure.

"Thank you, Sasuke, I appreciate your concern." And then he turned on his heel and swept out of the room. All he needed was a huge cape and it would be a typical Dark Wizard moment.

I shook my head in bewilderment after him and turned back to the now unoccupied machine, making a valiant attempt to ignore that rather sickening clench my stomach made. Three more months of his strange quirks, that was it. See the term out and then be gone.

I took a deep breath.

It had to happen.

I loaded my clothes into the machine, set it, and stormed out, my mood instantly worsened. I had been questioning my decision constantly since I'd said those stupid, stupid words to Father. _Why_ had I accepted the damn thing if it made me so... Angry? Sick? Disgusted? Nervous?

I flopped down onto my bed in a huff. Stop bloody thinking about it, Sasuke. What's done is done and there's no way you're going back on your word. You made a decision and you're going to see it through, so shut up and face it. No point stressing when you know it can't change. Just live with it.

Another deep breath.

It had to happen.

I closed my eyes and rolled onto my side, pushing my head down deeper into the pillow. Sleep, I deserved sleep. And a shit load of it, too, if the way my head felt was any indication.

* * *

Okay, I give up. The looming conversation with Naruto that could either make or break the almost-relationship we already had was making me very squeamish and therefore eliminating any possibility of further sleep.

Three hours would be enough, surely. Well I wouldn't be getting any more, by the looks of things. I blinked blearily down at the tiny screen, trying to force my eyes to separate the y's from the u's and the e's from the o's. Not an easy feat, let me tell you.

**Are you home yet?**

Why yes, yes I am. Does that mean I'm functioning enough to send you a reply message, my dearest pink-haired friend? No, no it does not. I squeezed my eyes closed as tight as I could then forced them open, trying to get the blurriness out. Sure I'd been awake for a while, but that really didn't make a difference when you hadn't opened your eyes in four hours.

**Yeah, got back a while ago. Is it Sunday? Does school start on Wednesday? I hate jet lag. It shouldn't exist.**

There, that was a sufficient enough reply. Now, back to stressing about Naruto… When was he coming around? What was I going to say to him? What if it didn't work and he really did like Kiba? But maybe Shino's plan had worked and Kiba had already gone back to him. I felt kind of bad for Kankuro, but shrugged it off. Oh well, it was for the benefit of four people, and if one got a little pissed off along the way then so be it.

I sighed and glared up at the ceiling. Everything was so complicated yet so simple at the same time. My phone beeped at me and I lifted it up again.

**Shika and I will be there in half an hour, jet lag be damned. Love ya!**

I blinked down at the screen for the hundredth time. Why was I feeling like I wanted to jump out of a ten story window? Oh, because I was leaving, that's why. And I had to tell them, the two people that basically got me to live my life good and proper and only be an arsehole some of the time. And I was ditching them. Great.

I turned my gaze back to the cracks in the ceiling, following each one as I thought of the many ways to tell them. Before I knew it, half an hour was up and sure enough, there was Sakura and Shikamaru at my front door.

My heart sank a little.

"Hey…"

Shikamaru nodded and said something, but was drowned out by Sakura's immediate squeal. She jumped at me and threw her arms around my neck, squeezing tight. A little too tight.

"Sasuke, you look _awful_!" Thanks, really. "What happened? Are you okay?"

I nodded and peeled her arms off my neck, welcoming the sudden rush of sweet, sweet oxygen. "Yeah, I'm okay, I just have to… er… tell you guys something."

I glanced over at Shikamaru, who gave me a strange calculating look before removing his shoes and stepping inside. I sighed to myself and let them in.

"Feels like forever, to be honest."

Shikamaru put a hand on my shoulder and I turned to look at him. "You sure you're okay?"

That's right, he was people smart too, wasn't he? Damn. No use lying to them, then.

I led them into my room as Sakura talked about… something, and curled up on my bed. That shut her up. She'd probably never seen me in such a pathetic position. Then again, I'd probably never put myself in such a pathetic position. Hmph.

She sat down next to my while Shikamaru occupied my desk chair, folding his arms and giving me a sort-of glare.

"Right, what happened?"

I didn't say anything. My throat froze up. How could I tell them? How the bloody hell could I have accepted the deal? All this because of a stupid childish hatred of losing that I just couldn't let go of.

Sakura squeezed my shoulder. "Sasuke?"

I flopped onto my back and gave the ceiling the full brunt of my death glare. Just get it over with and it'll be fine. They'll understand, they always have. Is it really that difficult?

"Tōsan gave me Sharingan. I'm leaving again. For two years, five years, for good, who knows? I'll be gone in three months."

Silence. Total silence. You know, the silence that you can hear, that sort of gets into your head and makes you extremely uncomfortable. And then a lot of noise.

"He gave you the company? He _gave_ it to you?! That's great, oh my God that _amazing_! Why didn't you say anything?" She gave me an awkward hug while my brain caught up that she wasn't mad at me for leaving… What? "So you're seeing out the term? But then we'll be able to visit you! Oh, that'll be so much fun! And you'll come back once in a while, won't you? And what about Itachi?" There we go, we're cottoning on now. "What are you going to tell him?"

"The principal is going to send a false letter about getting accepted for a scholarship."

"Who's going to look after him if you're not here?"

"Kisame. But… promise to call in on him sometimes?"

They both nodded, Shikamaru a little slower. He looked like he was thinking about something. Wait, he always was.

"Oh course we will, honey. Oh I'm going to miss you _so_ much!" Another awkward hug. "I really will."

That wasn't helping. I felt bad enough as it was.

Finally Shikamaru spoke up. "So you're definitely going?"

I nodded grimly as Sakura pulled away, biting her nails with a strange look on her face. It was sort of a cross between distraught, ecstatic and really nervous.

"Not changing your mind?"

"I can't. Everything's been planned."

"You don't want do go, do you?"

"I've wanted this my whole life, you know that. It was handed to me and I accepted it."

"But you're second-guessing yourself." That's right, always getting down to the root of the problem.

I glared at him. "No, I'm not. I have to start a new life in order to get the one I've been working for, and if this is what has to happen then it has to happen." That came out a lot more determined than in my mind. I guess I wasn't only trying to convince them it was the right thing.

Sakura gave me a nervous glance. "A-and… Naruto?"

I clenched my jaw. Yes, Naruto. Damn Naruto getting involved in everything and making me question what should have been a simple 'woo hoo I got the company' and I'd have gone without a worry, concentrating only on being the best protection agency out there, extending the company to different countries and working my way to the top.

Yep, he sure as hell complicated things.

I covered my face with my hands and sighed. "I don't know, I have to talk to him. But I'm definitely going. Even if something does end up happening, I'm still leaving. I won't give this up for anything."

Shikamaru made a 'tsk'ing noise and came to sit beside me, nudging me with his elbow. "Do what you think is best, but make sure you don't have regrets, okay?"

I spread my fingers at looked through them at him, an eyebrow raised. "Okay…"

He shrugged. "Just saying, you gotta go with what's important to you now. If your father really wanted you to have the company he'd let you have it on your own terms. Personally I don't think that's what you want anymore, but I guess you know best." My other eyebrow joined the one already up. "Whatever, just don't hate yourself after you make your final choice."

"I already have. I told you that nothing's changing my –"

"Who are you?"

All three heads turned to my closed door where Itachi's menacing voice was floating through. I groaned aloud and pushed between Sakura and Shikamaru to climb off the end of my bed. Time to calm down the psycho.

"You don't remember me?"

I stopped short, one leg still on the bed. Oh no.

"No, I… um… maybe."

"Uzumaki Naruto, but I guess it was a while ago. Don't really expect you to."

I turned to face the two on my bed, all of us with wide eyes. I shook my head slowly. The butterflies in my stomach had transformed into dragons and multiplied by a thousand.

"Oh, oh! You! I remember you! Yeah, you're the one in love with my brother! Wait, he is my brother, right? That kid with the black duck-butt hair, average height. Broods a lot? "

A small pause. "Uh… yeah. Yeah, that's me, and he's your brother."

And that's when all coherent thought took a vacation to the other side of the world, leaving behind the only words that really mattered as a parting gift.

'Naruto', 'love', 'my brother,' and 'yeah'.

Time for extreme measures.

_Fuck!_

Sakura looked about ready to squeal her head off but restrained herself by eating her own fist, and Shikamaru looked like he had lost a game of Shogi. Mildly surprised.

I reckon I looked like I'd just died.

"So you want to see Sasuke?"

"Uh, yeah, if I can."

"I'm afraid you can't."

Oh thank you, Itachi. I'll repay you somehow.

"W-Why?"

"Do you really like him?"

"Yeah."

"Are you planning on telling him?"

"Yeah."

"Are you going to apologise?"

"Yes."

"Do you even know what you're apologising for?"

"I-I… well – of course I do!" An inviting silence. "I have to say sorry for… well, for being a shit to him, basically. I really stuffed around and hurt him and I feel pretty crap for it. I'm usually not like that at all, but I was so confused I didn't really know how to act and I… I just have to see him. Please."

"Chicken out and I won't be happy."

"Uh…"

"Hurt him and I'll kill you."

"I don't doubt that."

"Good. Go through." No! Not yet! Keep stalling, Itachi! I'll let you stay in the washing machine and have all your 'no TV' rules, _anything_! "Now, where's that cat…?"

The door handle turned but I pressed my back against it, preventing it from opening. Say going once what him I that to overheard was?!

See, now I'm not even making sense! Not good, not good, not good...

Sakura stood up and hurried over to me, glaring her worst and making sharp hinting movements with her fist. Oh God, she was going to punch me. Not good. Not good at all. I ducked out the way, taking my weight off the door, and in stumbled Naruto.

He looked up at us all from the floor and his face turned a brilliant shade of scarlet. I think mine did the same.

Sakura smiled at me approvingly and yanked Shikamaru up from my bed. He grumbled something under his breath about women being 'such a drag' as Sakura exclaimed, "Naruto hi fancy seeing you here we were just leaving nice seeing you have fun bye!" and dashed out the door tugging a whinging Shikamaru behind, stepping over a slightly stunned Naruto on their way out.

Alone now. Oh shit. Come on, say something witty.

"You like it down there or something?" Oh snap. Not. You idiot.

He glared at me. "Mind giving me a hand?"

Mhmm. My mind isn't in the gutter. Nope. Get it together, you perve!

I held out my hand to him and he grabbed it, tugging himself to his feet and brushing himself off. I sat down on my desk chair where Shikamaru was previously, and folded my arms to hide my intense nervousness. The dragons had given birth to a thousand more dragons, and they in turn were multiplying as well and so on and so forth and oh God I might just throw up.

Naruto wandered over to my bed slowly and gave me a small smile.

I frowned at him. "Fake."

He sent a surprised look my way and shrugged, sitting down heavily and folding his legs beneath him. "You can tell that easily?"

I nodded. Dragons were still trying their utmost to escape. I swallowed hard.

He didn't bother smiling again, and instead picked at the hem of his pants. "So…"

"So."

Cue awkward silence…

He sighed. "I – uh… I have something to say."

"I already heard it." Poor kid was insanely embarrassed as it was and I wasn't doing much better, might as well save us both even more embarrassment and get it over with sooner.

His head snapped up and his eyes locked with mine. Was it normal for my heart to stop beating? "Y-You heard it? Heard what? Just then with your brother? Oh crap, that… that's kinda… a little embarrassing."

I shrugged and stood up, sitting down next to him and wrapping my arms around my knees. It seemed like there was a lot to say but at the same time nothing at all. Perhaps… Nope, that was way too corny to say.

Naruto gave me a tiny grin, and I could tell it was genuine. "Mind if I rant?"

I returned the smile and said, "I think you're going to anyway."

He laughed a little and nodded, taking a deep breath and ducking his head. A full minute passed before he said anything, but I didn't bother pushing him. Now was not the time to be an arse, or even pretend to be.

"Sorry if I don't make any sense with this, but first off, well, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. Sakura kicked my arse into gear and made me think about a lot of stuff, and this is what I came up with. I didn't know what to do with everything that was happening to me and I was kind of an arse to you with the Kiba thing, but that's all sorted out now. I thought what I felt for him was real, but then you… you completely opened up to me and Sakura made me see how incredibly stupid I was being. Kiba and I will always be close, but you actually tried to understand me and you're only the third person to notice that sometimes my constant happiness is a little fake, but the second to say anything about it. You're the only one apart from Kiba who's wanted to know the reason behind the whole thing, but you offered something in return and I guess that's what made me realise that there's definitely a difference between you two. You weren't just worried because you'd seen something like Kiba had, but you… you actually wanted to _know_ me, to find out _why_."

Here he took a breath and flopped onto his back, arms spread out to his sides. I reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, my chin resting on my knees. Naruto was the only one with the ability to turn me into a pile of goo. He glanced down at me with a strange blank look and went on, his voice lower.

"There's nothing about Kiba I don't know, and I probably know him better than I know myself. But you… you're interesting. There's so much I want to know about you and that's why I really appreciated that little game thing you started up. It made me happy to think that someone cared that much to find out about me because I was me, you know? And I wanted you to know me, which is why I told you about… that thing, and probably why you told me all your crap. And I really liked learning about you, I seriously did. It's strange because we're pretty much at opposite ends of the scale, but we… I dunno, we're still really similar."

He sat up and leant back on his hands, eyes meeting mine and holding them.

"I know you're leaving and all, and I figure there's nothing I can do to stop you, but still… It's just… I'm sorry for not realising it sooner, but oh my God you have no idea how much I like you."

Okay, _now_ coherent thought has definitely gone. For good. Never coming back. I was doing everything I knew I shouldn't be doing: drowning in his eyes, envisioning soppy love scenes together at the beach, marvelling at how perfect he was, wanting to kiss him, wanting to shout my lo-_extreme like_ for him at the top of a mountain, glomp him and hug him ridiculously tight, throw a party in honour of our _extreme like_ for each other, and all a number of disturbingly romantic things all at once.

Not good.

Instead, I settled on swallowing, nodding, squeezing his shoulder briefly and choking out, "Cool."

Cool? Cool! Is that all you can come up with? Oh you sad, pathetic little Uchiha.

Naruto laughed and I couldn't help but join in a little. I've probably said it before, but it's an infectious sound, it really is. He quietened down and pulled me down suddenly so that I was lying down next to him, both of us staring at the roof and trying not to die from high blood pressure or dragons tearing apart our stomachs.

Well, that's what it was like on my end at least, and judging by the shaking in his voice when he said "So… is the offer still up for grabs?" it was like that for him too.

Wait… what?

I turned my head to face him, immediately decided that he was far too close, then stopped making decisions altogether before that annoying little thing called a conscience kicked in and gave me a mental beating for being so stupid, leant forwards, and gave him a swift kiss on the lips.

I could've just said yes.

I pulled back and gave him my did-you-really-have-to-ask-that look, and he grinned at me. A full-forced, true Naruto grin. That's what I'd been missing while I was away. He pushed himself up onto his elbow and put a hand on my chest, looking down at me with _those_ eyes. The eyes that said you-know-you-want-me-so-what-are-you-waiting-for?

Good question.

I snaked a hand up around to the back of his neck and pulled him a little closer, our lips only just touching.

"Hell yes."

He smirked. "Then I think you can guess my answer."

Oh my God. He was mine. That was it. Naruto was… mine.

I smirked dangerously back at him as he came that tiny bit closer, kissing me lightly. So maybe I'd missed his grin, but I reckon I'd missed this more.

I pushed against him harder and practically melted into the mattress as he moved his lips against mine. I completely lost myself into the kiss, and neither of us bothered deepening it any further, this being all we needed. We took our time with it, pausing and just looking at each other for a bit before diving back in again, just for the sake of touch, to make sure the other was still there and it wasn't some screwed-up super-realistic dream. I think it was a necessity for both of us to know that it was really happening.

He pulled back for good and pressed his forehead against mine, the hand that was on my chest coming to rest on my cheek. He smiled down at me with his eyes still closed and whispered, "Thanks, teme."

He dropped down next to me and tucked his head into my shoulder, sighing in content and flinging his arm back across my chest. I smiled to myself and looped an arm around his waist, bringing him in closer. Yep, I was definitely a pile of goo around him. Well, _you_ try resisting that adorable face.

Yeah, didn't think so.

Naruto made some snuffling sounds against my neck and I shivered, unable to stop myself thinking about how good that felt. "Can we go slow for a bit? Just, you know, not jump into things straight away, take it easy?"

I nodded, knowing he could feel it, and tightened my grip on his waist. Like hell I was letting him go now that I finally had him. Kiba and everyone else be damned, he was mine and I wasn't giving him up for anything. Perhaps it could work and everything would be all right. He knew I was leaving yet he still agreed to going out with me.

Yes, going out with me. Naruto and I are now officially dating.

… Whoa.

The door suddenly burst open, interrupting my moment of epiphany, and we both glanced down at Itachi as he gave a huge squeal and beamed at us. I narrowed my eyes as he clapped his hands together, even going so far as to bounce just a little.

"Oh, aren't you so _cute_! I wish I had a camera handy!"

I growled at him. "Take a photo and you die."

"Not if I get to him first."

I looked down at Naruto, a little afraid and unashamed to admit it. He growled under his breath and shifted a bit, obviously uncomfortable at being watched, but Itachi didn't notice or probably didn't even realise.

"You make such a perfect couple! Oh, new love, what a beautiful sight."

Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it.

"Hey, don't butt in!" He yelled into my neck.

I sighed. Naruto just didn't know when to turn away from the bait. And he didn't even have the guts to look at my brother while he was telling him off. I might have to teach him how to yell at insane people properly. Eye contact is the key, kiddo.

Itachi frowned and shook his finger in a scolding motherly way at Naruto, who still hadn't bothered to lift his head. "Now, now, you have quite a temper on you."

"Yeah well you can't just waltz in here and say stuff like that!" His breath was hot and his lips kept touching my neck. I shivered again.

"I hope you don't use that anger of yours on my little brother here."

He had the dignity to look highly offended. "Of course I wouldn't!"

"But you do realise, Blondie, that if you hurt him in even the tiniest way I will be on you like a tonne of bricks and it won't be pretty."

Naruto growled again and scrounged behind him for a loose cushion. Ah, crap. He found it and flung it straight at the door, smacking a shocked Itachi right in the face.

"Goodness, is he this violent in the bedroom?"

Okay, that was a little far. "Oi! Do you -?"

And then, horror of all horrors, he totally ignored me and dragged _him_ in for a good gawk at us.

Shark-Boy stumbled into my room with a disgruntled expression, gave us a once over and swept straight back out, dragging my poor excuse for a brother with him.

"Shut the damn door, you pervs!" I shouted after them.

God, Itachi really had no clue. Just because he was insane didn't give him an excuse to just be plain rude. Shark-Boy ducked his head back in, made a little mocking 'aaw' noise and slammed the door.

Naruto made a 'hmph' sound against my neck and I laughed, knowing what he meant. Okay, I'll say it now, corniness be damned: we didn't need words anymore. We really didn't.

I smiled to myself and tilted my head back to look at the ceiling, my eyes going over the now very familiar cracks. Naruto breathed deeply beside me and I could tell he was falling asleep. Hn, typical. I picked up his hand that was resting on my opposite shoulder with my free hand and entwined our fingers, smiling at them.

"Teme…" The warning in Naruto's voice was clear, but I just chuckled and squeezed his hand, resting it against my stomach and keeping it tied in with mine.

Kissing the top of his head, I smiled into his hair.

So there's this guy, right, and I think… maybe… Yeah.

Maybe.

* * *

-breathes deeply- It is done. Finished. Complete. Ended... Wow.

I'm so sorry! I've totally lost the review that told me to do the Itachi in a washing machine bit! -despair face- I've been searching for ages but have NO idea where it is. To whoever gave me the awesome idea, THANK YOU!

For the sequel names, so many people said so many different things and it was pretty much even for all of them, but it was really a toss up between 'So He's My Boyfriend, Right' and 'Yes, My Life's A Shakespearian Tragedy'. Both are awesome but I had to make an executive decision and this is what I ended up choosing... -drumroll-

So He's My Boyfriend, Right.

It was SO close, really! I was tossing up for SO long, and the only deciding factor was that this one flowed better from the title of this one. So thankyou very very very _very_ muchly, **Divina 16** for coming up with the winning title, and **red-headed psychopaths wanted** for being just plain kick-arse and coming up with the other one, which I _will_ use at some point and credit you for.

I will be using all those other titles you guys gave me, though. For chapter titles, other story titles, random lines in the sequel or something like that because I really liked most of them and just couldn't decide. And never fear, credit will be paid where credit is due. Or something along those lines...

So look out for the sequel! I'll keep you posted on what's happening with it on my profile, so check in every now and thena dn it should be there.. unless I'm incredibly lazy.

I LOVE ALL OF YOU FOR REVIEWING AND MAKING ME INSANELY HAPPY AND MOTIVATED ABOUT THIS STORY!! See? It's in capitals, it's gotta mean something. -glomps each and every one of you for a second time just cuz I can- So for now, dear friends, farewell!

Until we meet again,

WY.


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